Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura.
Authors Notes: This started out as a Sakura bashing fic.But it's not as
bashing as I had hoped, but oh well.
Pimply Problems
Sakura rolled onto her back under her covers, snuggling deeper into the covers. She suddenly became aware of a pain in her butt.
Wondering what was causing her so much pain, she twisted every which way, trying to see her bottom. Unfortunately, she couldn't see her bottom, so she picked up a nearby pillow, and aimed for the sleeping Kero's head. Kero, thoroughly disturbed, turn irritatedly and said, "What?!"
Sakura pointed at her behind and asked, "What's on my butt?"
Kero replied without looking. "A mosquito," he fibbed.
"Huh?" Sakura began slapping her butt vigorously, trying to swat away the "mosquito." When her hand connected with a bump on her skin, she yelped and jumped out of bed. Dashing into the bathroom, she yanked off her underwear and twisted around to look at her butt in the mirror.
The sight was horrible, gruesome, despicable.
"Horrible, gruesome, despicable." declared Sakura.
There, on her right butt cheek was a cherry red pimple with a diameter of a centimeter. Sakura fainted.
When she awoke some hours later, Sakura was slightly calmer, but still bordering on hysertia. "Kero!" she screeched.
Kero flew in a minute later, muttering irately. "What now?!" Sakura pointed. Kero burst into laughter. "You could name it Mt. Zit," He managed between giggles.
"Kero!" Sakura cried when his laughter had subsided into chuckles, "Get me some lotion. Maybe it'll help."
"Alright," he chuckled merrily, and flew off, then returning a couple minutes later with a large bottle of lotion. Dropping it on the counter, he proceeded to direct Sakura in where to apply lotion.
"Right a bit.No, left.Left, that'd right, you idiot, left! Left!.Up a bit, just a bit more.No, you idiot, you don't even know which way's up and down, geez."
So, two hours and 2 bottles of lotion later, Sakura's behind was oiled/lotionized quite nicely. So, her butt was smooth and soft, but her zit had swelled with the oil from the lotion, which had been mainly concentrated on Mt. Zit.
"Oh Kero-chan!" Sakura cried in despair, "What shall I do? It pains me so very much!"
"Uh.Pop it?" Kero suggested.
"Omgosh Kero! You're a genius!" Sakura praised extravagantly, and hugging the small bear animatedly. "How will we pop it, Kero-chan?"
Kero, extremely proud of his "bright" idea, grinned and offered, "I'll go see what I can do," and flew off.
Kero circled the house a few times, glancing around. A toothpick container sat on the kitchen counter. That might work, he thought, so he picked up a toothpick and continued to browse. Opening a drawer, he found some spoons and a spatula. The next drawer opened to reveal a pair of tweezers, scissors and some other junk. He picked up the tweezers and eyed them thoughtfully.
I wonder what kind of contraption this is, he thought, mystified. Fluttering up holding his toothpick and tweezers, he yanked the third drawer open. A cutting board and two large butcher knives lay inside.
I know this will work, Kero thought smugly, heaving up the butcher knife, tweezers and toothpick, he a made his path zig-zagging through the air back to the bathroom.
Sakura had been sitting on the toilet seat.Well, half sitting. Her left butt cheek was resting on the toilet seat; her right butt cheek was sitting on air. She immediately jumped up upon Kero's entrance.
"What did you find?" she asked excitedly. In a few moments she would be forever, hopefully, free of the evil zit.
"A moment," Kero replied, "What's this?" He held up the tweezers.
"Oh, " Sakura replied, "Those are tweezers. They help you pick up things you don't want to touch with your fingers, see?" She showed him how to use them.
"Interesting." Kero muttered.
"Okay, now will you show me what you got?"
"'Kay." Kero heaved in the butcher knife and toothpick. Sakura's eyes bugged out.
"I think I'll use the toothpick." She said shakily, eyeing the butcher knife warily.
Kero shrugged. "Your choice." Then he proceeded to direct Sakura in the process of jabbing her butt.
A long while later, the toothpick finally met it's mark and a river of puss gushed out.
"Quick Kero! The toilet paper! Give me some!" Sakura shouted frantically. When the puss and blood was cleaned up, and a band-aid stuck securely to her now puss-less zit, Sakura and Kero were both exhausted.
Kero returned to playing his video games and Sakura went to hang out with Madison. And so the rest of Sakura's day passed with relative painlessness.
However, the next morning, Sakura discovered, to her immense horror, the zit had once again been filled with puss and now possessed a diameter of two centimeters!
Pimply Problems
Sakura rolled onto her back under her covers, snuggling deeper into the covers. She suddenly became aware of a pain in her butt.
Wondering what was causing her so much pain, she twisted every which way, trying to see her bottom. Unfortunately, she couldn't see her bottom, so she picked up a nearby pillow, and aimed for the sleeping Kero's head. Kero, thoroughly disturbed, turn irritatedly and said, "What?!"
Sakura pointed at her behind and asked, "What's on my butt?"
Kero replied without looking. "A mosquito," he fibbed.
"Huh?" Sakura began slapping her butt vigorously, trying to swat away the "mosquito." When her hand connected with a bump on her skin, she yelped and jumped out of bed. Dashing into the bathroom, she yanked off her underwear and twisted around to look at her butt in the mirror.
The sight was horrible, gruesome, despicable.
"Horrible, gruesome, despicable." declared Sakura.
There, on her right butt cheek was a cherry red pimple with a diameter of a centimeter. Sakura fainted.
When she awoke some hours later, Sakura was slightly calmer, but still bordering on hysertia. "Kero!" she screeched.
Kero flew in a minute later, muttering irately. "What now?!" Sakura pointed. Kero burst into laughter. "You could name it Mt. Zit," He managed between giggles.
"Kero!" Sakura cried when his laughter had subsided into chuckles, "Get me some lotion. Maybe it'll help."
"Alright," he chuckled merrily, and flew off, then returning a couple minutes later with a large bottle of lotion. Dropping it on the counter, he proceeded to direct Sakura in where to apply lotion.
"Right a bit.No, left.Left, that'd right, you idiot, left! Left!.Up a bit, just a bit more.No, you idiot, you don't even know which way's up and down, geez."
So, two hours and 2 bottles of lotion later, Sakura's behind was oiled/lotionized quite nicely. So, her butt was smooth and soft, but her zit had swelled with the oil from the lotion, which had been mainly concentrated on Mt. Zit.
"Oh Kero-chan!" Sakura cried in despair, "What shall I do? It pains me so very much!"
"Uh.Pop it?" Kero suggested.
"Omgosh Kero! You're a genius!" Sakura praised extravagantly, and hugging the small bear animatedly. "How will we pop it, Kero-chan?"
Kero, extremely proud of his "bright" idea, grinned and offered, "I'll go see what I can do," and flew off.
Kero circled the house a few times, glancing around. A toothpick container sat on the kitchen counter. That might work, he thought, so he picked up a toothpick and continued to browse. Opening a drawer, he found some spoons and a spatula. The next drawer opened to reveal a pair of tweezers, scissors and some other junk. He picked up the tweezers and eyed them thoughtfully.
I wonder what kind of contraption this is, he thought, mystified. Fluttering up holding his toothpick and tweezers, he yanked the third drawer open. A cutting board and two large butcher knives lay inside.
I know this will work, Kero thought smugly, heaving up the butcher knife, tweezers and toothpick, he a made his path zig-zagging through the air back to the bathroom.
Sakura had been sitting on the toilet seat.Well, half sitting. Her left butt cheek was resting on the toilet seat; her right butt cheek was sitting on air. She immediately jumped up upon Kero's entrance.
"What did you find?" she asked excitedly. In a few moments she would be forever, hopefully, free of the evil zit.
"A moment," Kero replied, "What's this?" He held up the tweezers.
"Oh, " Sakura replied, "Those are tweezers. They help you pick up things you don't want to touch with your fingers, see?" She showed him how to use them.
"Interesting." Kero muttered.
"Okay, now will you show me what you got?"
"'Kay." Kero heaved in the butcher knife and toothpick. Sakura's eyes bugged out.
"I think I'll use the toothpick." She said shakily, eyeing the butcher knife warily.
Kero shrugged. "Your choice." Then he proceeded to direct Sakura in the process of jabbing her butt.
A long while later, the toothpick finally met it's mark and a river of puss gushed out.
"Quick Kero! The toilet paper! Give me some!" Sakura shouted frantically. When the puss and blood was cleaned up, and a band-aid stuck securely to her now puss-less zit, Sakura and Kero were both exhausted.
Kero returned to playing his video games and Sakura went to hang out with Madison. And so the rest of Sakura's day passed with relative painlessness.
However, the next morning, Sakura discovered, to her immense horror, the zit had once again been filled with puss and now possessed a diameter of two centimeters!