Angel of Light
Summary: After Kari's death, the DD try to move on. Who's this new girl, with a bad attitude, and why does T.K. feel drawn to her? Trying to unlock the light inside her, he may find something he didn't expect. Can light survive in a heart full of darkness?
Authors Note: Yay! A new story by me. I'm going on vacation the end of this week and hopefully I'll have more stories done to type up for you. I'm using the English names. I'm not that good at writing stuff from a guys pov so bear with me. ;) Thanks. Please Read and review as well.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Digimon. If I did it would be Takari, Taiora, Mimato, and Kenlie all the way.
[T.K.s pov]
I watched the rain come down outside my window during class. It's days like this I miss her the most. Let me back up and fill you in on what happened. It was four years ago. We had just defeated Malomyotismon and were celebrating the end of evil. The rest of the school year was upon us and we just wanted to get through it without interruptions. It was the middle of spring. Our year end exams were coming up and everything was concentrated into passing them. For Kari it was the worst. We still don't understand why, but for some reason the Dark Ocean began to target her again. Her nightmares were getting worse and her concentration was slipping. We did the best we could to help but nothing seemed to work. She was in the same classes as me so, I was able to see how badly she was deteriorating. The day of our final exam, she looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep. I offered to walk her home. She needed some rest badly. I could feel the darkness radiating off her and I knew she was tired of fighting it. I made sure she got home safely and went straight to bed. Later that night I got the worst phone call of my life.
I had just fallen asleep when Tai called. It was almost midnight and at first I thought he was looking for Matt. He said that something had happened to Kari. He said that Kari had been hit by a car and was in the hospital. He didn't know if she would make it through the night. I asked him how she got hit by a car and he said he had no explanation. The only thing they could think of was sleepwalking. Both Tai and I agreed that sleepwalking didn't make sense because Kari never sleepwalks. I got off the phone with Tai and got dressed. I wanted to be with Kari so, I went to the hospital. All of us sat around waiting for any improvement, but none came. All the DDs were there a long with a few of our parents. We each took turns sitting with her. At six in the morning I stirred and realized I had fallen asleep. I looked up and saw Karis parents and Tai leaving Karis room. The look on their faces wasn't good. They informed all of us that Kari had died.
I felt like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. How could someone have taken my angel from me! She didn't deserve this. I realized a long time ago that I had feelings for her that were deeper than friendship and now she would never know how I felt. Even now, four years later, I can't stop thinking of her. On rainy days, though, I miss her the most. She could always brighten any mood and any day. Right now I'm in Creative Writing class. I think I want to be a writer now more than ever. It's a good way of expressing my feelings. I'm supposed to be writing a short story about a happy time in my life, but all I can think about is how much I miss Kari. My teacher is making an announcement.
"Attention class, we have a new student with us today. Please welcome Kristy to our class."
The class chorused a welcome. I couldn't help but notice what she looked like. She was about Karis height and it seemed her favorite color was black. She had on black jeans, black shoes, a pink top with a black leather jacket over it. Her hair was jet black with some pink highlights and her eyes were almost the same as Karis. The only difference was that Kristys ruby red eyes held a coldness in them that sent chills up my spine. The teacher had her sit in the vacant seat in front of me. She looked like trouble from the beginning.
I met up with Davis and Yolie after school and they both agreed that there was something not quite right with Kristy. However, I had this strange feeling that I'd seen her before. We were walking out of school when we saw Kristy trying to steal the principles car. Yolie tried to stop her and when Kristy turned around her eyes were filled with hate.
[Kristy's pov]
I saw the losers leaving school when I was trying to get a free ride. I was hoping they would just leave me alone when the lavender hared girl started yelling at me. She didn't like me stealing this car, but I didn't care. "You're not my mom or the cops so just back off!" I yelled at her. I hate people who think they know me. I finally got the door opened and hot wired the car. I rolled down the window and yelled out. " Go ahead and call the cops. I'm real good at loosing them." I smirked then took off. The look on their face was priceless. They really were losers if they had to try and tell me what was right. I drove for hours and finally made it back to my little home. It was a run down apartment that had seen better days but it fit me just fine. There was a stench that seemed to be getting better and the dishes looked like they were growing something edible. I threw my bag in the corner and watched t.v. I had ditched the principles car about a mile away and stole his emergency cash. At least I'd have something to eat tonight. I was normally lucky if I had enough money for the rent without having to go to my aunt. She was nice, but it was almost toxic to me. I loved the stench of things rotting and decaying. It was comforting. I also loved the night much better than the day. For some reason my aunt thought she could see a little spark of light in me. That's ridiculous! The light totally sucks. Maybe some day I'll make her understand.
[T.K's pov]
After the incident with the car, the principle inforced a closed campus policy. No student was allowed outside the building, during school hours, without a note or a teacher nearby. Kristy, of course, ignored that. I think she did it to dare the teachers to give her detention. It seemed like Kristy always had to be the center of attention. Unfortunately, for me, I got paired with her for biology. It's not like I had to do all the work while she did nothing. No. She always seemed to screw the project up. We were dissecting frogs when she got all frankenstineish and before I knew it she had re-arranged the frogs body parts. Not only was it disturbing, it made a few kids sick. The bad part was, because she was my partner, I got the same grade as her. I used to get good grades in bio and now they were totally dropping. My mom was upset that I had let my grades drop. She didn't even believe me when I told her it was Kristy's fault. Now my mom thinks I'm a liar. This girl is totally making me look bad.
Today I decided I would confront Kristy about our bio grades. Maybe she'll understand. "Hey Kristy. I need to talk to you." I said before lunch.
"What's bugging you?" She asked.
'You.' I thought, but instead replied, "well, I wanted to talk to you about biology class."
"That's my favorite class. You think I'm the best huh."
"Well not exactly. Kristy, your creativity is really bringing our grades down."
"All I did was try and make it fun. If you see that I'm sorry."
"While your creativity is cool, I just think there is a time and a place."
"Look, loser, anyone can cut up a stupid frog and label body parts, but not everyone can make a frankinstine frog." I could tell Kristy was getting really angry. "Look I don't care about little losers like you so, you can shut up and stop wasting my time."
"I'm sorry school is a waste of your time!" I yelled to her retreating back. She really makes me mad. She has no regard for other peoples feelings. It's just not right. I put my things away and headed to lunch.
Once inside the lunchroom, I spotted Yolie, Ken, Cody and Davis saving a seat for me. I sat down with them and we soon were deep in conversation. There was a loud crash and everyone turned to see what had caused the noise. Kristy was lying on the floor, her lunch strewn out beside her. Someone wield for the school nurse. Once the nurse arrived, we were informed that Kristy had passed out. Everyone resumed eating and I was left wondering what had caused her to pass out.
[Kristy's pov]
I woke with a splitting headache. The lights were too bright. I couldn't keep my eyes open due to the brightness. It was probably a good thing 'cause when I opened my eyes the room spun. I heard footsteps and turned toward the sound. I opened my eyes just a fraction to see who it was. "I'm glad to see you awake." The school nurse stated. "You gave us quite a scare." I snorted. Yeah right. Since when did anyone ever care about me? I certainly never cared about anyone. The nurse left and turned off the lights. I wonder if she knew they were too bright? Nah. That's impossible.
School was almost over when the nurse came into my room. She saw that I was sitting up and staring at the wall. "You have a visitor." She said then left the room. I turned my head and saw a boy about my age standing in the doorway. He walked up to me and handed me a folder. "Here's your homework." T.K. said. "You're in all my classes so, I thought I'd get it for you." I just stared at him. I've never had anyone do that for me before. "Are you feeling better?" T.K. asked sitting in the chair next to the cot. "Yeah. I guess." I replied utterly perplexed that anyone would care about me. Why would a so called loser care about someone's well being like this? He offered to walk me home, but I declined. I didn't want anyone to know where I lived. The walk home was long. All the way home I couldn't help but think about that stupid blonde kid. Maybe I'd been to hard on him. I should cut him some slack in bio. Tomorrow I'll actually do the work and maybe, with his help, I'll get it right. I finally reached home and went looking for something to eat. Unfortunately I didn't find anything. Oh well. It's not like I haven't gone without food before. Maybe I'll do my homework first tonight.
[T.K.'s pov]
It's been a week since Kristy's blackout and I think I know why she did. She doesn't eat much if ever. I honestly don't think I've ever seen her eat lunch. The weird thing is, I don't think she is starving herself by choice. Another thing that's weird about her is she's started paying attention and actually doing the work in bio. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm being nice to her. For some reason I feel compelled to help her. She really needs a friend. I made and extra sandwich for her today. I hope she'll except it. I'd hate for her to starve to death.
[Kristy's pov]
"Hey Kristy." T.K. said coming over to me at lunch. "I have an extra sandwich for you if you want it."
I looked at him utterly perplexed. First of all, how did he know I was going hungry and why was he being so nice? I was brought out of my thoughts by my growling stomach. Blushing I reached out to accept his offer. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. I can bring you another one, tomorrow, if you'd like." T.K. replied.
"That would be nice." I heard myself say. He smiled before joining his friends at another table. I devoured the sandwich quickly and realized it was the first time, in what seemed like forever, that someone had made me food. It was very good. I was really looking forward to tomorrow's lunch.
[T.K.'s pov]
A week passed and I started to notice something strange. Kristy was mean to everyone but me. I'm not sure why. Yolie, Davis, Ken, and Cody couldn't understand why I made and effort to help her. They just don't get it. I'm not even sure I understand completely. All I know is that there is something about her that draws me to her and compels me to help her. For every kind thing I do, I am rewarded by seeing something start to change in her. I want to know everything about her, but I got no response when I ask her questions. So, I decided to follow her home Friday night. I told my mom I was out with some friends and would be home late. I hated lying to my mom but it was necessary.
I soon discovered that Kristy lived a long way from the school. I didn't even want to think what time she had to get up in order to get to school on time. I also noticed that the neighborhood was starting to get more rundown the farther we walked. I made sure I memorized the way so I could get back home. Finally she reached a rundown apartment complex that looked like it would collapse at any moment. I followed her to her apartment and watched her through the window. The only illumination in the place was the light from the t.v. The phone rang and she answered it.
"Hello. No. It's not that simple.o.k. It's different.the lights purer here. It's not clouded over. Yeah I wear sunglasses, but the sun dries out my skin. You don't understand. He's untouchable. I'm telling you the truth! He knows how to bypass them.He's not as dumb as you think. You know I would never do that! You don't understand.It's like he knows the darkness.I know what it sounds like! I'm telling you, he understands how the darkness works. He's been there! Fine! You try taking hope away from a kid who's known nothing but hope practically all his life and see if it's easy! I'm only trying to make you understand.Yes sir. I'm not sure. Yes. It scares me too. It's weird. I think he knows something about me that even I don't know about myself. What were to happen if.I know. I can only live where the darkness sustains me. I sometimes envy them.Sometimes.Yes sir. I understand. Goodbye."
When she hung up I decided I had better head home. I had learned a lot about her. I wasn't sure what to do with the information. It was weird. For the first time since Karis death, I didn't miss her. In a way, I almost felt as if she were closer than I knew.
[Kristy's pov]
Lately, life sucks. I've got so many problems to deal with and no one I can dump them on. Well there's T.K., but I can't tell him everything and I know that once I start I will end up telling him everything. Not many people like me. I know why they don't, but I can't help it. I have these urges to be mean and I can't control them. Worse yet, summers coming. I hate the sun. I'm pretty sure I used to like it, but not anymore. Maybe it's because I've changed. For some reason I feel like I should love the sun, but I can't. The one good thing about summer is I get to go back to the ocean. I feel at peace in it's merky depths. This year, however, I'm dreading returning to the ocean. I don't know why but something tells me I'd be better off on land. Life sucks. Plain and simple.
Oh crap. I just ran into Yolie, of all people. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" She yelled.
"Sorry." I replied. Before I realized it I was helping her gather her things. I don't know who was more surprised, Yolie or me.
"Thanks." Yolie replied meekly.
"Anytime." I answered.
What's wrong with me? Why am I going soft all of a sudden? I looked up and found the answer to my question. I pushed a stray strand of black hair behind my ear and stood up. My natural hair color was black, but I wanted a lighter tone so I added pink highlights.
"Hey T.K." I greeted.
"Hey Kristy." He replied. "How's it going?"
"Other than running into Yolie, fine." I told him. He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. It kinda scares me, but he does something to me. Something I can't explain.
It took me all day to figure out what it was about T.K. that made me do weird things. He had Hope. Something I think I once had, but somehow lost. Slowly, everything I was ever taught, was melting away. In the darkness I had power. In the presence of hope I felt alive. T.K. followed me home several times. I know why. One of the times I caught him. I invited him in and we talked for awhile. Then the darkness took control. I started getting mad and throwing things. T.K. tried to calm me down, but it wasn't working.
"Kristy, you have to stop this. I know you can fight it." T.K. pleaded with me.
"Shut up!" I screamed. "You don't understand! I love the darkness. It gives me a power I've never known. There is no way I'm giving it up!"
"It's obvious you're being controlled." T.K. stated.
"I am not being controlled! I want to live like this. I love the darkness. I live for it! I will never give it up. You don't understand! I want to feel the light! I want to embrace it.!"
T.K. looked at me in shock. That's when I realized what I had said. Somehow my true feelings had been voiced and I realized what my words meant.
"Did you just say what I think you did?" T.K. asked me.
I looked at his blue eyes and my knees gave out. I realized now that there was an inner struggle I was dealing with. As tears started to form in my eyes I said. "You should leave. Probably before I end up throwing you out." Sadly, he nodded and left. Only when the door had shut, did I let the tears fall.
Summary: After Kari's death, the DD try to move on. Who's this new girl, with a bad attitude, and why does T.K. feel drawn to her? Trying to unlock the light inside her, he may find something he didn't expect. Can light survive in a heart full of darkness?
Authors Note: Yay! A new story by me. I'm going on vacation the end of this week and hopefully I'll have more stories done to type up for you. I'm using the English names. I'm not that good at writing stuff from a guys pov so bear with me. ;) Thanks. Please Read and review as well.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Digimon. If I did it would be Takari, Taiora, Mimato, and Kenlie all the way.
[T.K.s pov]
I watched the rain come down outside my window during class. It's days like this I miss her the most. Let me back up and fill you in on what happened. It was four years ago. We had just defeated Malomyotismon and were celebrating the end of evil. The rest of the school year was upon us and we just wanted to get through it without interruptions. It was the middle of spring. Our year end exams were coming up and everything was concentrated into passing them. For Kari it was the worst. We still don't understand why, but for some reason the Dark Ocean began to target her again. Her nightmares were getting worse and her concentration was slipping. We did the best we could to help but nothing seemed to work. She was in the same classes as me so, I was able to see how badly she was deteriorating. The day of our final exam, she looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep. I offered to walk her home. She needed some rest badly. I could feel the darkness radiating off her and I knew she was tired of fighting it. I made sure she got home safely and went straight to bed. Later that night I got the worst phone call of my life.
I had just fallen asleep when Tai called. It was almost midnight and at first I thought he was looking for Matt. He said that something had happened to Kari. He said that Kari had been hit by a car and was in the hospital. He didn't know if she would make it through the night. I asked him how she got hit by a car and he said he had no explanation. The only thing they could think of was sleepwalking. Both Tai and I agreed that sleepwalking didn't make sense because Kari never sleepwalks. I got off the phone with Tai and got dressed. I wanted to be with Kari so, I went to the hospital. All of us sat around waiting for any improvement, but none came. All the DDs were there a long with a few of our parents. We each took turns sitting with her. At six in the morning I stirred and realized I had fallen asleep. I looked up and saw Karis parents and Tai leaving Karis room. The look on their faces wasn't good. They informed all of us that Kari had died.
I felt like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. How could someone have taken my angel from me! She didn't deserve this. I realized a long time ago that I had feelings for her that were deeper than friendship and now she would never know how I felt. Even now, four years later, I can't stop thinking of her. On rainy days, though, I miss her the most. She could always brighten any mood and any day. Right now I'm in Creative Writing class. I think I want to be a writer now more than ever. It's a good way of expressing my feelings. I'm supposed to be writing a short story about a happy time in my life, but all I can think about is how much I miss Kari. My teacher is making an announcement.
"Attention class, we have a new student with us today. Please welcome Kristy to our class."
The class chorused a welcome. I couldn't help but notice what she looked like. She was about Karis height and it seemed her favorite color was black. She had on black jeans, black shoes, a pink top with a black leather jacket over it. Her hair was jet black with some pink highlights and her eyes were almost the same as Karis. The only difference was that Kristys ruby red eyes held a coldness in them that sent chills up my spine. The teacher had her sit in the vacant seat in front of me. She looked like trouble from the beginning.
I met up with Davis and Yolie after school and they both agreed that there was something not quite right with Kristy. However, I had this strange feeling that I'd seen her before. We were walking out of school when we saw Kristy trying to steal the principles car. Yolie tried to stop her and when Kristy turned around her eyes were filled with hate.
[Kristy's pov]
I saw the losers leaving school when I was trying to get a free ride. I was hoping they would just leave me alone when the lavender hared girl started yelling at me. She didn't like me stealing this car, but I didn't care. "You're not my mom or the cops so just back off!" I yelled at her. I hate people who think they know me. I finally got the door opened and hot wired the car. I rolled down the window and yelled out. " Go ahead and call the cops. I'm real good at loosing them." I smirked then took off. The look on their face was priceless. They really were losers if they had to try and tell me what was right. I drove for hours and finally made it back to my little home. It was a run down apartment that had seen better days but it fit me just fine. There was a stench that seemed to be getting better and the dishes looked like they were growing something edible. I threw my bag in the corner and watched t.v. I had ditched the principles car about a mile away and stole his emergency cash. At least I'd have something to eat tonight. I was normally lucky if I had enough money for the rent without having to go to my aunt. She was nice, but it was almost toxic to me. I loved the stench of things rotting and decaying. It was comforting. I also loved the night much better than the day. For some reason my aunt thought she could see a little spark of light in me. That's ridiculous! The light totally sucks. Maybe some day I'll make her understand.
[T.K's pov]
After the incident with the car, the principle inforced a closed campus policy. No student was allowed outside the building, during school hours, without a note or a teacher nearby. Kristy, of course, ignored that. I think she did it to dare the teachers to give her detention. It seemed like Kristy always had to be the center of attention. Unfortunately, for me, I got paired with her for biology. It's not like I had to do all the work while she did nothing. No. She always seemed to screw the project up. We were dissecting frogs when she got all frankenstineish and before I knew it she had re-arranged the frogs body parts. Not only was it disturbing, it made a few kids sick. The bad part was, because she was my partner, I got the same grade as her. I used to get good grades in bio and now they were totally dropping. My mom was upset that I had let my grades drop. She didn't even believe me when I told her it was Kristy's fault. Now my mom thinks I'm a liar. This girl is totally making me look bad.
Today I decided I would confront Kristy about our bio grades. Maybe she'll understand. "Hey Kristy. I need to talk to you." I said before lunch.
"What's bugging you?" She asked.
'You.' I thought, but instead replied, "well, I wanted to talk to you about biology class."
"That's my favorite class. You think I'm the best huh."
"Well not exactly. Kristy, your creativity is really bringing our grades down."
"All I did was try and make it fun. If you see that I'm sorry."
"While your creativity is cool, I just think there is a time and a place."
"Look, loser, anyone can cut up a stupid frog and label body parts, but not everyone can make a frankinstine frog." I could tell Kristy was getting really angry. "Look I don't care about little losers like you so, you can shut up and stop wasting my time."
"I'm sorry school is a waste of your time!" I yelled to her retreating back. She really makes me mad. She has no regard for other peoples feelings. It's just not right. I put my things away and headed to lunch.
Once inside the lunchroom, I spotted Yolie, Ken, Cody and Davis saving a seat for me. I sat down with them and we soon were deep in conversation. There was a loud crash and everyone turned to see what had caused the noise. Kristy was lying on the floor, her lunch strewn out beside her. Someone wield for the school nurse. Once the nurse arrived, we were informed that Kristy had passed out. Everyone resumed eating and I was left wondering what had caused her to pass out.
[Kristy's pov]
I woke with a splitting headache. The lights were too bright. I couldn't keep my eyes open due to the brightness. It was probably a good thing 'cause when I opened my eyes the room spun. I heard footsteps and turned toward the sound. I opened my eyes just a fraction to see who it was. "I'm glad to see you awake." The school nurse stated. "You gave us quite a scare." I snorted. Yeah right. Since when did anyone ever care about me? I certainly never cared about anyone. The nurse left and turned off the lights. I wonder if she knew they were too bright? Nah. That's impossible.
School was almost over when the nurse came into my room. She saw that I was sitting up and staring at the wall. "You have a visitor." She said then left the room. I turned my head and saw a boy about my age standing in the doorway. He walked up to me and handed me a folder. "Here's your homework." T.K. said. "You're in all my classes so, I thought I'd get it for you." I just stared at him. I've never had anyone do that for me before. "Are you feeling better?" T.K. asked sitting in the chair next to the cot. "Yeah. I guess." I replied utterly perplexed that anyone would care about me. Why would a so called loser care about someone's well being like this? He offered to walk me home, but I declined. I didn't want anyone to know where I lived. The walk home was long. All the way home I couldn't help but think about that stupid blonde kid. Maybe I'd been to hard on him. I should cut him some slack in bio. Tomorrow I'll actually do the work and maybe, with his help, I'll get it right. I finally reached home and went looking for something to eat. Unfortunately I didn't find anything. Oh well. It's not like I haven't gone without food before. Maybe I'll do my homework first tonight.
[T.K.'s pov]
It's been a week since Kristy's blackout and I think I know why she did. She doesn't eat much if ever. I honestly don't think I've ever seen her eat lunch. The weird thing is, I don't think she is starving herself by choice. Another thing that's weird about her is she's started paying attention and actually doing the work in bio. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm being nice to her. For some reason I feel compelled to help her. She really needs a friend. I made and extra sandwich for her today. I hope she'll except it. I'd hate for her to starve to death.
[Kristy's pov]
"Hey Kristy." T.K. said coming over to me at lunch. "I have an extra sandwich for you if you want it."
I looked at him utterly perplexed. First of all, how did he know I was going hungry and why was he being so nice? I was brought out of my thoughts by my growling stomach. Blushing I reached out to accept his offer. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. I can bring you another one, tomorrow, if you'd like." T.K. replied.
"That would be nice." I heard myself say. He smiled before joining his friends at another table. I devoured the sandwich quickly and realized it was the first time, in what seemed like forever, that someone had made me food. It was very good. I was really looking forward to tomorrow's lunch.
[T.K.'s pov]
A week passed and I started to notice something strange. Kristy was mean to everyone but me. I'm not sure why. Yolie, Davis, Ken, and Cody couldn't understand why I made and effort to help her. They just don't get it. I'm not even sure I understand completely. All I know is that there is something about her that draws me to her and compels me to help her. For every kind thing I do, I am rewarded by seeing something start to change in her. I want to know everything about her, but I got no response when I ask her questions. So, I decided to follow her home Friday night. I told my mom I was out with some friends and would be home late. I hated lying to my mom but it was necessary.
I soon discovered that Kristy lived a long way from the school. I didn't even want to think what time she had to get up in order to get to school on time. I also noticed that the neighborhood was starting to get more rundown the farther we walked. I made sure I memorized the way so I could get back home. Finally she reached a rundown apartment complex that looked like it would collapse at any moment. I followed her to her apartment and watched her through the window. The only illumination in the place was the light from the t.v. The phone rang and she answered it.
"Hello. No. It's not that simple.o.k. It's different.the lights purer here. It's not clouded over. Yeah I wear sunglasses, but the sun dries out my skin. You don't understand. He's untouchable. I'm telling you the truth! He knows how to bypass them.He's not as dumb as you think. You know I would never do that! You don't understand.It's like he knows the darkness.I know what it sounds like! I'm telling you, he understands how the darkness works. He's been there! Fine! You try taking hope away from a kid who's known nothing but hope practically all his life and see if it's easy! I'm only trying to make you understand.Yes sir. I'm not sure. Yes. It scares me too. It's weird. I think he knows something about me that even I don't know about myself. What were to happen if.I know. I can only live where the darkness sustains me. I sometimes envy them.Sometimes.Yes sir. I understand. Goodbye."
When she hung up I decided I had better head home. I had learned a lot about her. I wasn't sure what to do with the information. It was weird. For the first time since Karis death, I didn't miss her. In a way, I almost felt as if she were closer than I knew.
[Kristy's pov]
Lately, life sucks. I've got so many problems to deal with and no one I can dump them on. Well there's T.K., but I can't tell him everything and I know that once I start I will end up telling him everything. Not many people like me. I know why they don't, but I can't help it. I have these urges to be mean and I can't control them. Worse yet, summers coming. I hate the sun. I'm pretty sure I used to like it, but not anymore. Maybe it's because I've changed. For some reason I feel like I should love the sun, but I can't. The one good thing about summer is I get to go back to the ocean. I feel at peace in it's merky depths. This year, however, I'm dreading returning to the ocean. I don't know why but something tells me I'd be better off on land. Life sucks. Plain and simple.
Oh crap. I just ran into Yolie, of all people. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" She yelled.
"Sorry." I replied. Before I realized it I was helping her gather her things. I don't know who was more surprised, Yolie or me.
"Thanks." Yolie replied meekly.
"Anytime." I answered.
What's wrong with me? Why am I going soft all of a sudden? I looked up and found the answer to my question. I pushed a stray strand of black hair behind my ear and stood up. My natural hair color was black, but I wanted a lighter tone so I added pink highlights.
"Hey T.K." I greeted.
"Hey Kristy." He replied. "How's it going?"
"Other than running into Yolie, fine." I told him. He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. It kinda scares me, but he does something to me. Something I can't explain.
It took me all day to figure out what it was about T.K. that made me do weird things. He had Hope. Something I think I once had, but somehow lost. Slowly, everything I was ever taught, was melting away. In the darkness I had power. In the presence of hope I felt alive. T.K. followed me home several times. I know why. One of the times I caught him. I invited him in and we talked for awhile. Then the darkness took control. I started getting mad and throwing things. T.K. tried to calm me down, but it wasn't working.
"Kristy, you have to stop this. I know you can fight it." T.K. pleaded with me.
"Shut up!" I screamed. "You don't understand! I love the darkness. It gives me a power I've never known. There is no way I'm giving it up!"
"It's obvious you're being controlled." T.K. stated.
"I am not being controlled! I want to live like this. I love the darkness. I live for it! I will never give it up. You don't understand! I want to feel the light! I want to embrace it.!"
T.K. looked at me in shock. That's when I realized what I had said. Somehow my true feelings had been voiced and I realized what my words meant.
"Did you just say what I think you did?" T.K. asked me.
I looked at his blue eyes and my knees gave out. I realized now that there was an inner struggle I was dealing with. As tears started to form in my eyes I said. "You should leave. Probably before I end up throwing you out." Sadly, he nodded and left. Only when the door had shut, did I let the tears fall.