*I'm going to try something here, so bear with me if it's terrible and you
all hate it! In September of 2001 I posted a fic called "Standing Alone".
Two years later when I re-read it, I realized there is a lot I can do to
make it better. So the wheels started turning, and I decided to re-write it
and re-post it on ff.net to see if it gets a better response. This is a one
chapter installment!! Although there is a sequel to this fic called "Still
Standing", I won't be re-posting it without a huge response from this fic!
So enjoy this little experiment of mine, and if you like it, send a review!
Hate it? Send one anyway!*
Standing Alone The Second Publishing
In a small apartment in Odaiba Japan, a young blonde boy hid in his room, his hands cupped over his ears tightly. No matter how hard he pushed his little hands against them, no matter how he covered his dark blue eyes, he couldn't erase the sights and sounds of his mother and father as they fought. He was only six years old, but he knew what was happening out in the other room, cringing as the sound of shattering glass echoed down the hall. The door to his bedroom opened, and the figure of an even smaller child with the same blonde hair and blue eyes came into view. The bigger boy picked up the smaller one and put him in bed with him, comforting him as he whimpered quietly. The fighting stopped suddenly as the door slammed loudly, shaking the walls. Moments later, a woman walked into the small bedroom where her children lay, tears in their frightened eyes. She scooped them up into her arms and rocked them back and forth slowly, calming them with her voice as she sang quietly.
"Mama, why do you and daddy fight so much?" the older boy asked after the smaller one fell asleep. The woman looked down at her son and sighed heavily, the weight of the entire world seemingly on her shoulders.
"Oh Matt, my darling, mommy and daddy don't get along anymore. It's very hard to explain." Mrs. Ishida said to her son, her voice tired and worn. Matt looked at his mother with his innocent azure eyes with fear.
"Is it me and TK? Did we do something bad?" Matt asked, his voice trembling. Mrs. Ishida hugged her oldest son to her tightly, tears forming in her blue eyes.
"Never, Mattie. You and TK have done no wrong. This is the way things are, and we can't do anything about it." Mrs. Ishida responded, laying the little boy beside his younger brother on the bed and pulling the blankets over the both of them.
"Matt, my sweet baby, never forget how much I love you and your brother. I would give up everything just to have you. I love you dearly." Mrs. Ishida whispered as she brushed Matt's bushy blonde locks out of his sleepy face.
"I won't, mama." Matt said, yawning. Mrs. Ishida kissed her son's forehead and kissed TK's as well before going back out into the other room, closing the door behind her.
That was nine years ago. After that night, Mrs. Ishida filed for divorce from her husband, and filed for full custody, arguing that Mr. Ishida was abusive. She had no evidence of his abuse, however, so the judge decided on each parent to keep a child. He sent TK with Mrs. Ishida, and left Matt with his father. He further ordered no contact between the parents for eight years, or until they stopped fighting for custody. Matt watched in horror as Mrs. Ishida left him in the courtroom, taking his baby brother with him.
Life with his father wasn't too bad at first for Matt. But after a couple months Mr. Ishida started drinking heavily, sometimes not coming home until the morning light reached the sky. Matt spent many nights hidden in his room, keeping out of sight and out of mind to his father. Whenever he made the mistake of going out of his room after his father returned from a drunken night out on the town, Matt usually paid for it with a black eye or some bruised ribs. Of course, the next day Mr. Ishida would come home with a gift of some sort for his son, begging forgiveness for his temper the previous night.
Matt hadn't seen or heard from the other half of his family the entire nine years. He hadn't even gotten so much as a birthday card telling him they still knew he existed. Occasionally Matt would think about his mother and brother, who would be turning twelve soon. He wondered why they hadn't come for him yet, how they hadn't won custody of him in all this time. Over the years, Matt grew to loathe his mother, blaming her for the hell he was living through. Little did he know things were going to change finally.
"Matt? Matt are you here?" Mr. Ishida asked, walking into the small apartment he occupied with his teenage son. Matt's bedroom door opened, and out walked Matt, his spiky blonde hair standing out against his black shirt and pants. His blue eyes were ice cold and hard as he stared at his father.
"I'm here, dad. What do you need?" Matt asked, trying not to sound disrespectful. That would earn him a smack in the face. Mr. Ishida pulled his arms out from behind his back, revealing a gleaming red electric guitar. For a moment, Matt couldn't speak, he could only stare at the present before him.
"What's this for?" Matt asked, confused by his father's gift. He hadn't come home drunk for days, so he didn't need to bring any apology gifts home to Matt.
"Do you really think I would forget my son's birthday?" Mr. Ishida cried, handing his son the guitar and smiling proudly as Matt strapped it on and strummed it, tuning slightly.
"Well, considering you forgot the last eight or so. . . " Matt muttered under his breath. He thanked his father and retreated into his room, pulling out his sheet music, which was littered with notes and lyrics to songs he'd written in the past few years.
"This'll be great for the band. . . " Matt said to himself, thinking of the band he and some friends were trying to create. They'd even thought up a name for it. They were going to call themselves the Teenage Wolves. Satisfied with his gift, Matt walked back out into the kitchen where his dad was making some chicken for dinner. Matt was shocked once again, since he had been living on take out since last Christmas. No one cooked at Matt's house.
"Well, Matt, today's a good day." Mr. Ishida said, setting the table and putting the chicken down on some hot pads. Matt sat down and dished out some dinner for himself, passing the food to his father without saying a word.
"I think I won the custody battle today. TK will be coming to live with us soon. The judge was really feeling my argument, I think." Mr. Ishida said proudly. Matt almost choked on his food at the statement. TK coming to live here with them?
'How in the hell does he think he could possibly win a custody battle for him? He can barely keep ME!' Matt thought, eating his rice slowly, his frozen eyes locked on his plate. Dinner went without any other words, and Matt retreated into his room, shutting the door tightly.
'There's no way he's going to win. I'm surprised he kept me this long. I can't believe mom hasn't gotten me out of this hell yet.' Matt thought, changing into a black tee shirt and red shorts before jumping into his bed for the night. Just before Matt fell asleep, he heard someone knock on the door.
"Nancy, what are you doing here? You're disobeying the court order." Matt heard his father through his closed door.
'Nancy. . . MOM!' Matt thought as he leapt out of bed frantically. He opened the door to reveal his mother, who he hadn't seen in nine years. She looked a little older, but still retained her youth he remembered from when he was a child. Her brown hair was long and straight, her blue eyes still sad and blue. He stood out of sight, listening to the exchange his parents were having.
"What do you mean I lost Matt? I thought I was getting TK!" Mr. Ishida roared. Matt stiffened as his father's voice rose. This was not a good sign. Ms. Takaishi, as she had changed back to her maiden name, frowned.
"No, the judge called me today and told me to come and get Matt. Apparently there's been a witness to some things you've been doing. Like the time you hit Matt in public? And the many times you've been spotted in bars? Judge Myer said that as of today Matt would be in my full custody. I'm here for him now." Matt's mother said, standing up to her ex-husband. Matt stepped out from around the wall and stared icily at his mother.
"Mattie! I told you I would come for you! Pack your things, you're coming with me." Ms. Takaishi said, walking over to her son and embracing him. Instead of getting a warm hug in return, Ms. Takaishi backed away when Matt didn't respond. He turned around and walked back into his room, shutting the door behind him.
'She thinks she can just come back and everything's okay? I'll show her. . . ' Matt growled to himself as he packed his suitcases with all he could jam into them. He strapped the guitar back onto him, grabbed his things and walked back out in time to see his father strike his mother hard on the face. She fell to the ground, her hand covering the already red mark. Mr. Ishida turned around to Matt's fist in his face. Before Matt could back off, Mr. Ishida retaliated, striking Matt in the chin and knocking him down. The guitar broke as Matt hit the ground. Taking off the broken instrument, he helped his mother up and picked his things up again.
"Don't you ever hit her. I will hurt you so much worse if you ever lay a hand on her again." Matt growled, leading his mother out into the hallway of the building.
"I hope you know this isn't over. You're not taking my family from me, Nancy! I'll get one of them, don't you worry!" Mr. Ishida screamed angrily as Matt and his mother loaded his things into the back of her small car. Matt got into the passenger seat and waited for his mother to get in the other side. She climbed into the driver's seat and paused, taking in the sight of her son for the first time in nine years.
"Oh Mattie. . . . " Matt's mother whispered, reaching over to touch his face with her small hand. Matt recoiled and stared at her with hard, unfeeling blue eyes.
"My name isn't Mattie, it's Matt. I'm not six anymore, I'm fifteen. In case you've forgotten." Matt spat out bitterly. Ms. Takaishi frowned sadly and sighed, shifting the car into gear and driving away from the place Matt had called home his entire life.
'He has changed so much. . .' she thought as she drove, stealing a glance every couple seconds. His hair was spiky, and his clothing was all black. The only things of color besides his golden locks were his eyes, which were as cold as a winter night. They were empty and hard, which almost broke her heart as she watched him stare out the window at the rain that had begun to fall on the world outside.
Matt felt the car stop outside a very nice looking little apartment complex a half hour later. He got out of the car and took his bags in his arms and followed his mother into the building, walking down the hall and stopping at a neat white door. She fumbled with the keys in silence, afraid to say anything else that would upset her son. The door opened, and Matt walked into an immaculately clean living room.
"Well, at least I won't be living in that rat hole anymore." Matt said under his breath as he recalled the dirty apartment he had lived in before. Sitting at the kitchen table was a young boy with the same light hair as Matt, and bright soulful blue eyes the color of the ocean. He looked up as Matt and his mother walked in, and smiled broadly.
"Matt! I've been waiting for you! Can I help you take your things into your room?" TK asked, motioning for Matt to surrender one of his bags. Matt just looked at TK in amazement. He resembled Matt in so many ways, it was like looking into a mirror. The only real difference was TK's brightness compared to Yamato's angry darkness.
"I think I can handle it." Yamato said darkly, heading down the hall and finding the empty room where he would soon call home. He turned around before entering and looked at TK, who stood with Ms. Takaishi with a confused look on his young face.
"Thank you, though." Yamato added, his voice softening slightly. He closed the door behind him, and TK looked at his mother for an explanation.
"Matt hasn't had the greatest life for awhile now. He's very. . . .bitter. Give him some time and he will come around. He needs to adjust, after all, he thought we had abandoned him all those years ago." Ms. Takaishi said quietly, retreating into her room and closing the door.
Matt unpacked his clothing into the dresser inside his room and looked around. The walls were a cream color, and the carpet a dark blue. Blue curtains adorned the window, where a small window seat was built beneath it. Matt walked over to the window and sat down, looking out into the night. Rain was pouring now, covering everything in water. Matt drew his knees to his chin and stared out into the sky, trying to forget all the pain he was feeling. The door opened behind him, and TK walked in with a sandwich and some soda.
"Matt. . . I thought you might like something to eat. I know it's after dinner, but I just thought-" TK started. Matt turned around and looked at the meal, which TK had put on the computer desk.
"Thank you, TK." Matt muttered, taking a seat at the desk and eating slowly. TK sat down on Matt's new bed and watched him for a moment, taking in his brother's presence.
"I never thought I would see you again. You might not know it, but I remember those nights. I may have been three, but I remember. I missed you so, Matt." TK said quietly, making Matt turn around and stare at him.
"You have no idea what I have gone through, do you? I went through nine years of abuse, and Mom wasn't there to help me at all! You have had a perfect childhood, and I have had nothing! You know what, don't talk to me right now. I don't want to deal with it." Matt said, standing up and opening the door. TK frowned, obviously hurt by his brother's comments, and left the room, walking into his room across the hall. Matt shut the door and flopped back into the chair. He stared at the food his brother had made him, and shook his head with frustration. TK had done nothing wrong, and yet he was lashing out at him.
'I'm not mad at you, brother. I'm just so frustrated with everything. . . ' Matt thought as he laid down and closed his eyes, exhausted from the nights activity.
*Okay, that's a good place to stop for right now, you think? Prolly not, but it's okay. Review this and let me know if it's as good as the old one. If you want to compare, the other fic is also called "Standing Alone" and is under my old pen name, Celestial Angel1 (the 1 was added by ff.net, and I hate it.)*
Standing Alone The Second Publishing
In a small apartment in Odaiba Japan, a young blonde boy hid in his room, his hands cupped over his ears tightly. No matter how hard he pushed his little hands against them, no matter how he covered his dark blue eyes, he couldn't erase the sights and sounds of his mother and father as they fought. He was only six years old, but he knew what was happening out in the other room, cringing as the sound of shattering glass echoed down the hall. The door to his bedroom opened, and the figure of an even smaller child with the same blonde hair and blue eyes came into view. The bigger boy picked up the smaller one and put him in bed with him, comforting him as he whimpered quietly. The fighting stopped suddenly as the door slammed loudly, shaking the walls. Moments later, a woman walked into the small bedroom where her children lay, tears in their frightened eyes. She scooped them up into her arms and rocked them back and forth slowly, calming them with her voice as she sang quietly.
"Mama, why do you and daddy fight so much?" the older boy asked after the smaller one fell asleep. The woman looked down at her son and sighed heavily, the weight of the entire world seemingly on her shoulders.
"Oh Matt, my darling, mommy and daddy don't get along anymore. It's very hard to explain." Mrs. Ishida said to her son, her voice tired and worn. Matt looked at his mother with his innocent azure eyes with fear.
"Is it me and TK? Did we do something bad?" Matt asked, his voice trembling. Mrs. Ishida hugged her oldest son to her tightly, tears forming in her blue eyes.
"Never, Mattie. You and TK have done no wrong. This is the way things are, and we can't do anything about it." Mrs. Ishida responded, laying the little boy beside his younger brother on the bed and pulling the blankets over the both of them.
"Matt, my sweet baby, never forget how much I love you and your brother. I would give up everything just to have you. I love you dearly." Mrs. Ishida whispered as she brushed Matt's bushy blonde locks out of his sleepy face.
"I won't, mama." Matt said, yawning. Mrs. Ishida kissed her son's forehead and kissed TK's as well before going back out into the other room, closing the door behind her.
That was nine years ago. After that night, Mrs. Ishida filed for divorce from her husband, and filed for full custody, arguing that Mr. Ishida was abusive. She had no evidence of his abuse, however, so the judge decided on each parent to keep a child. He sent TK with Mrs. Ishida, and left Matt with his father. He further ordered no contact between the parents for eight years, or until they stopped fighting for custody. Matt watched in horror as Mrs. Ishida left him in the courtroom, taking his baby brother with him.
Life with his father wasn't too bad at first for Matt. But after a couple months Mr. Ishida started drinking heavily, sometimes not coming home until the morning light reached the sky. Matt spent many nights hidden in his room, keeping out of sight and out of mind to his father. Whenever he made the mistake of going out of his room after his father returned from a drunken night out on the town, Matt usually paid for it with a black eye or some bruised ribs. Of course, the next day Mr. Ishida would come home with a gift of some sort for his son, begging forgiveness for his temper the previous night.
Matt hadn't seen or heard from the other half of his family the entire nine years. He hadn't even gotten so much as a birthday card telling him they still knew he existed. Occasionally Matt would think about his mother and brother, who would be turning twelve soon. He wondered why they hadn't come for him yet, how they hadn't won custody of him in all this time. Over the years, Matt grew to loathe his mother, blaming her for the hell he was living through. Little did he know things were going to change finally.
"Matt? Matt are you here?" Mr. Ishida asked, walking into the small apartment he occupied with his teenage son. Matt's bedroom door opened, and out walked Matt, his spiky blonde hair standing out against his black shirt and pants. His blue eyes were ice cold and hard as he stared at his father.
"I'm here, dad. What do you need?" Matt asked, trying not to sound disrespectful. That would earn him a smack in the face. Mr. Ishida pulled his arms out from behind his back, revealing a gleaming red electric guitar. For a moment, Matt couldn't speak, he could only stare at the present before him.
"What's this for?" Matt asked, confused by his father's gift. He hadn't come home drunk for days, so he didn't need to bring any apology gifts home to Matt.
"Do you really think I would forget my son's birthday?" Mr. Ishida cried, handing his son the guitar and smiling proudly as Matt strapped it on and strummed it, tuning slightly.
"Well, considering you forgot the last eight or so. . . " Matt muttered under his breath. He thanked his father and retreated into his room, pulling out his sheet music, which was littered with notes and lyrics to songs he'd written in the past few years.
"This'll be great for the band. . . " Matt said to himself, thinking of the band he and some friends were trying to create. They'd even thought up a name for it. They were going to call themselves the Teenage Wolves. Satisfied with his gift, Matt walked back out into the kitchen where his dad was making some chicken for dinner. Matt was shocked once again, since he had been living on take out since last Christmas. No one cooked at Matt's house.
"Well, Matt, today's a good day." Mr. Ishida said, setting the table and putting the chicken down on some hot pads. Matt sat down and dished out some dinner for himself, passing the food to his father without saying a word.
"I think I won the custody battle today. TK will be coming to live with us soon. The judge was really feeling my argument, I think." Mr. Ishida said proudly. Matt almost choked on his food at the statement. TK coming to live here with them?
'How in the hell does he think he could possibly win a custody battle for him? He can barely keep ME!' Matt thought, eating his rice slowly, his frozen eyes locked on his plate. Dinner went without any other words, and Matt retreated into his room, shutting the door tightly.
'There's no way he's going to win. I'm surprised he kept me this long. I can't believe mom hasn't gotten me out of this hell yet.' Matt thought, changing into a black tee shirt and red shorts before jumping into his bed for the night. Just before Matt fell asleep, he heard someone knock on the door.
"Nancy, what are you doing here? You're disobeying the court order." Matt heard his father through his closed door.
'Nancy. . . MOM!' Matt thought as he leapt out of bed frantically. He opened the door to reveal his mother, who he hadn't seen in nine years. She looked a little older, but still retained her youth he remembered from when he was a child. Her brown hair was long and straight, her blue eyes still sad and blue. He stood out of sight, listening to the exchange his parents were having.
"What do you mean I lost Matt? I thought I was getting TK!" Mr. Ishida roared. Matt stiffened as his father's voice rose. This was not a good sign. Ms. Takaishi, as she had changed back to her maiden name, frowned.
"No, the judge called me today and told me to come and get Matt. Apparently there's been a witness to some things you've been doing. Like the time you hit Matt in public? And the many times you've been spotted in bars? Judge Myer said that as of today Matt would be in my full custody. I'm here for him now." Matt's mother said, standing up to her ex-husband. Matt stepped out from around the wall and stared icily at his mother.
"Mattie! I told you I would come for you! Pack your things, you're coming with me." Ms. Takaishi said, walking over to her son and embracing him. Instead of getting a warm hug in return, Ms. Takaishi backed away when Matt didn't respond. He turned around and walked back into his room, shutting the door behind him.
'She thinks she can just come back and everything's okay? I'll show her. . . ' Matt growled to himself as he packed his suitcases with all he could jam into them. He strapped the guitar back onto him, grabbed his things and walked back out in time to see his father strike his mother hard on the face. She fell to the ground, her hand covering the already red mark. Mr. Ishida turned around to Matt's fist in his face. Before Matt could back off, Mr. Ishida retaliated, striking Matt in the chin and knocking him down. The guitar broke as Matt hit the ground. Taking off the broken instrument, he helped his mother up and picked his things up again.
"Don't you ever hit her. I will hurt you so much worse if you ever lay a hand on her again." Matt growled, leading his mother out into the hallway of the building.
"I hope you know this isn't over. You're not taking my family from me, Nancy! I'll get one of them, don't you worry!" Mr. Ishida screamed angrily as Matt and his mother loaded his things into the back of her small car. Matt got into the passenger seat and waited for his mother to get in the other side. She climbed into the driver's seat and paused, taking in the sight of her son for the first time in nine years.
"Oh Mattie. . . . " Matt's mother whispered, reaching over to touch his face with her small hand. Matt recoiled and stared at her with hard, unfeeling blue eyes.
"My name isn't Mattie, it's Matt. I'm not six anymore, I'm fifteen. In case you've forgotten." Matt spat out bitterly. Ms. Takaishi frowned sadly and sighed, shifting the car into gear and driving away from the place Matt had called home his entire life.
'He has changed so much. . .' she thought as she drove, stealing a glance every couple seconds. His hair was spiky, and his clothing was all black. The only things of color besides his golden locks were his eyes, which were as cold as a winter night. They were empty and hard, which almost broke her heart as she watched him stare out the window at the rain that had begun to fall on the world outside.
Matt felt the car stop outside a very nice looking little apartment complex a half hour later. He got out of the car and took his bags in his arms and followed his mother into the building, walking down the hall and stopping at a neat white door. She fumbled with the keys in silence, afraid to say anything else that would upset her son. The door opened, and Matt walked into an immaculately clean living room.
"Well, at least I won't be living in that rat hole anymore." Matt said under his breath as he recalled the dirty apartment he had lived in before. Sitting at the kitchen table was a young boy with the same light hair as Matt, and bright soulful blue eyes the color of the ocean. He looked up as Matt and his mother walked in, and smiled broadly.
"Matt! I've been waiting for you! Can I help you take your things into your room?" TK asked, motioning for Matt to surrender one of his bags. Matt just looked at TK in amazement. He resembled Matt in so many ways, it was like looking into a mirror. The only real difference was TK's brightness compared to Yamato's angry darkness.
"I think I can handle it." Yamato said darkly, heading down the hall and finding the empty room where he would soon call home. He turned around before entering and looked at TK, who stood with Ms. Takaishi with a confused look on his young face.
"Thank you, though." Yamato added, his voice softening slightly. He closed the door behind him, and TK looked at his mother for an explanation.
"Matt hasn't had the greatest life for awhile now. He's very. . . .bitter. Give him some time and he will come around. He needs to adjust, after all, he thought we had abandoned him all those years ago." Ms. Takaishi said quietly, retreating into her room and closing the door.
Matt unpacked his clothing into the dresser inside his room and looked around. The walls were a cream color, and the carpet a dark blue. Blue curtains adorned the window, where a small window seat was built beneath it. Matt walked over to the window and sat down, looking out into the night. Rain was pouring now, covering everything in water. Matt drew his knees to his chin and stared out into the sky, trying to forget all the pain he was feeling. The door opened behind him, and TK walked in with a sandwich and some soda.
"Matt. . . I thought you might like something to eat. I know it's after dinner, but I just thought-" TK started. Matt turned around and looked at the meal, which TK had put on the computer desk.
"Thank you, TK." Matt muttered, taking a seat at the desk and eating slowly. TK sat down on Matt's new bed and watched him for a moment, taking in his brother's presence.
"I never thought I would see you again. You might not know it, but I remember those nights. I may have been three, but I remember. I missed you so, Matt." TK said quietly, making Matt turn around and stare at him.
"You have no idea what I have gone through, do you? I went through nine years of abuse, and Mom wasn't there to help me at all! You have had a perfect childhood, and I have had nothing! You know what, don't talk to me right now. I don't want to deal with it." Matt said, standing up and opening the door. TK frowned, obviously hurt by his brother's comments, and left the room, walking into his room across the hall. Matt shut the door and flopped back into the chair. He stared at the food his brother had made him, and shook his head with frustration. TK had done nothing wrong, and yet he was lashing out at him.
'I'm not mad at you, brother. I'm just so frustrated with everything. . . ' Matt thought as he laid down and closed his eyes, exhausted from the nights activity.
*Okay, that's a good place to stop for right now, you think? Prolly not, but it's okay. Review this and let me know if it's as good as the old one. If you want to compare, the other fic is also called "Standing Alone" and is under my old pen name, Celestial Angel1 (the 1 was added by ff.net, and I hate it.)*