Hey everyone! So how's it going? I realized I haven't written a humor in a while then got the idea for this, so I hope you enjoy it! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.
"I will defeat you, just you wait!" A purple haired woman ranted, shaking her fist threateningly.
"Yea, you and what army!?" Hidan taunted through his laughter as the rest of Akatsuki broke out into loud snickers.
"Shut up! I don't need an army to take you down!"
They all broke out into more loud laughter, infuriating the girl even more. They had just been out on their monthly picnic forced them to have to "bond as a family" as he put it. But it's not like the leader ever bothered to show up to these picnics he made them have. Hypocrite...
'I'll show you!" she began making rapid handsigns as the group of nukenin continued to mock her. She finished it off with the sign for bird before shooting a large laser like beam at them. They held up their arms to block but lowered them slowly once they noticed nothing had happened.
"Ha! Looks like you..." Hidan never finished his sentence for he promptly collapsed onto the ground, the other members following soon after.
"Tch, I told you I'd defeat you'" the girl scoffed, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"What the..." Sasori muttered, pushing himself off the ground into a kneeling position. He glanced to the side and saw his partner lying face down about a foot away.
"Hey brat, get up," he grumbled, reaching out and shaking the blonde's shoulder lightly. The blonde's eyes opened and Deidara slowly began to get up off the ground.
All of the other members also began to wake up around that time. Then a loud girlish shriek pierced the air. Everyone's heads turned toward Deidara and their eyes widened.
"Hidan, look at your chest, yeah!"
"Why don't you look at yours!"
They both let out high pitched squeals when they looked down to see they had apparently become girls. The others also began to freak out when they realized they too had suffered the same fate. Except Sasori and Itachi, they managed to keep up a calm facade and instead just panicked on the inside.
"Senpai, what's on Tobi's chest?" The masked ma- woman asked, pushing her chest up.
Deidara, choosing not to answer, wrapped her arms around herself blushing madly.
"Dammit, I already get mistaken for a girl enough, now I actually am one, yeah!" she whined.
"Why is this happening!?" Hidan growled, stomping her foot.
"I think it was that strange girl's jutsu," Itachi spoke up.
"Imma kill her!" Hidan yelled, clenching her fists, fire burning in her eyes.
"First we should just go back to the base and see if leader-san can fix this jutsu," Sasori said.
"No! We need to catch that little bitch before she gets away!"
"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu said, grabbing the zealot by her, now slightly longer, silver hair.
"Ack, let go you bastard!" She hissed, stumbling along behind her partner.
"Senpai, you never answered Tobi!" The masked girl whined. "What are these?"
"Geeze, don't ask me something like that, yeah!" Deidara snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Why not?"
"Just shut up."
"Itachi-chan, will you tell Tobi?"
"No."
"Awwww, why won't anyone answer Tobi?" She whined, and they could all hear the pout without having to see it.
"Because you're annoying, now shut the hell up!" Hidan snapped, hitting Tobi over the head with her scythe. Tobi squealed as the scythe passed through him and ran to her senpai, hiding behind her.
"Get off, yeah!" Deidara yelled, shoving Tobi away. They stayed silent through most of the trip back to the base, save for a few annoyed grumbles and curses from Hidan.
"We're here," Kisame spoke up as they reached the large mountain that the Akatsuki base was built into.
"Finally," Sasori muttered.
"Hopefully leader-san can reverse this jutsu, yeah," Deidara sighed as Kisame preformed the proper handsigns so they could enter. Once the large boulder blocking the entrance moved away, they all walked inside before it slid back in front of the entrance behind them. The group trudged through the halls until they reached the leader's office. Kisame stepped up and knocked on the large wooden door.
"Leader-san, we kinda have a problem," she said. The door opened and he raised an eyebrow as he saw what his members had become.
"What the hell happened to you guys?" He asked, looking a bit too closely at their chests.
"That's not their eyes!" Konan snapped, coming up behind him and whacking him in the back of the head.
"Some crazy bitch used this weird jutsu that turned us into girls," Hidan explained.
"Oh... Well what do you expect me to do about that?"
"How about reversing the jutsu dumbass!?" Hidan snapped.
"Hey, that is not how you speak to your leader! I expect to be treated with respect!" He growled, glaring at the albino.
"Tch, dream on..."
"Why you-"
"Pein, why don't we get to work on reversing this jutsu?" Konan suggested.
"But-"
"Now."
"Okay." They both went back into the office, leaving the rest of the Akatsuki out in the hallway.
"Well now what?" Kisame asked, looking around at the other members.
"I guess we just wait..." Kakuzu said.
Annoyed at the thought of having to wait, Sasori huffed and briskly walked down the hallway toward her and Deidara's room.
"Ah, Danna wait up, yeah!" Deidara called, rushing after her. After that the other members soon dispersed, going back to their respective rooms.
(With Hidan and Kakuzu)
Hidan paced around the room, angrily muttering curses under her breath. Kakuzu sat down at her desk, undoing the five locks and two seals on one of the drawers before pulling out a little pouch full of money and beginning to count it. Hidan let out a lot screech and threw her scythe across the room where it implanted itself in the wall.
"You're paying for the repairs," Kakuzu said without looking up from her money counting.
"Oh come on Kuzu, it isn't that bad," Hidan huffed, rolling his eyes, and walking over to the wall to yank the weapon out.
"You're still paying for it."
"Dammit..."
(With Sasori and Deidara)
"I can't believe that bitch! I already get confused enough for a girl and now... now I actually am one, yeah!" Deidara yelled as she paced agitatedly around their room.
"Mhm,"
"And not only that, but now even more of those perverts that lurk around town are going to attack me even more, yeah! I won't even be able to leave the base without having to deal with that!"
"Mhm."
"And you're not even listening to me so I'm pretty just much talking to myself at this point, yeah," Deidara sighed.
"Just calm down brat, leader-san and Konan are finding a way to fix this right now," Sasori said, glancing up from the puppet she was working on at her partner.
"But what if they don't find a way to fix it, yeah? What if it takes years!? What if-" Deidara collapsed onto the ground as the sedative coated senbon Sasori threw hit her in the arm.
"Finally, peace and quiet..." The redhead sighed contentedly, going back to working on her art.
(With Kisame and Itachi)
"It sure feels weird Itachi-chan," Kisame mused, looking over herself.
"Indeed," The raven replied, from where she sat on her bed, boredly reading through a book.
"I wonder how long we'll be stuck like this..."
"Leader-san is finding a way to reverse it."
"I hope I can still use Samehada," Kisame said, looking at her beloved sword leaning against the wall next to her bed. She walked over to it gripping the handle and carefully lifting it off the ground, though with a lot more difficulty than normal.
"It's definitely harder to pick up," she muttered, experimentally swinging it, having to grip it with both hands so it didn't go flying across the room.
"I'm sure leader-san and Konan will fix this soon."
"You're probably right Itachi-chan," Kisame agreed, nodding her head and propping Samehada back against the wall.
(With Pein, Konan, and Zetsu)
"Zetsu, go gather some information on what this jutsu is exactly," Pein ordered Akatsuki's spy.
"Yes leader-san."
"Thank God we didn't get caught in that jutsu..." Black Zetsu muttered as he merged into the wall and disappeared. Pein took a moment to also be thankful he wasn't turned into a girl like the rest of his members. Konan on the other hand, stood next to Pein's desk where he sat thinking about how hilarious this situation was. She couldn't wait to see how they would all handle being girls.
"Hey Pein, how do you think they're doing?" she asked, thoughtfully tilting her head to the side.
"I'm sure they're fi-" a loud screech sounded through the base.
"fine," Pein finished, looking back down at his paper work.
"I think I'm gonna go check on them," Konan said, walking towards the door. This'll be fun, Konan grinned, almost evilly, as she left the room.