BG: Here we go again. My first songfic. This is a songfic to "Thrive" by the Newsboys. For those of you who never thought it possible for anime characters to believe in Christ, this is for you. This songfic is also dedicated to a dear friend I met here on ff.net, Eliana. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and hopefully this will encourage you. Cheers! ^_^
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or the Newsboys. So please don't sue me.
~*~ = Lyrics
'blablabla' = Thought
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Down here in the valley every shadow you see, has its own story.
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Yami rampaged around in his soul room, screaming to himself in his head, 'Why is this all so confusing? Why don't I know who I am? Why is there an emptiness in me? WHY?!?' He smashed his hands down on a stone table, a small stream of blood trickling down his red fingers. 'Why can't I ever figure anything out?' Gritting his teeth, he continued to pace about the room, his mind in total chaos.
As his crimson eyes darted around, searching for answers, he ran to each of the rooms, looking, seeking, but not finding. 'Who am I? Where did I come from? Why am I in such torment? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why are there no answers to my questions?' He sighed. 'No one knows, not even my hikari. No one feels the pain I'm going through, because there is no one else. My life is like a shadow, there for a moment, then gone, then back again, without anyone's noticing. No one cares for me.'
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Down here in the valley every puddle of mud, comes from tears and blood.
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He proceeded down a corridor, and opened another door. As the door opened, the room seemed to disappear on its own, as if it had never existed. 'Another blank memory. No one has answers. Not even me, and it's my life! Or do I REALLY exist? Does any one care if I'm stuck in here for the rest of my days? I'm not truly a person, just a spirit trapped in the body of a boy who actually has a life. No one cares…' At this last thought, tears fell from the eyes of the ancient pharaoh. 'It's hopeless. My aibou is too caught up in his own life to care for mine. Why go on? My life is nothing but brokenness, and forbidden memories.' His eyes roamed over to a vase made of porcelain.
'It's so beautiful. And so…whole. Complete. Full. Not like me, who's more like this,' and he proceeded to take the vase, and throw it down, smashing it into tiny pieces. 'There, that's more like it. If this is my soul room, it had better fit my soul, which is more like that…' he said staring at the broken pieces of the vase. And tears fell from his eyes.
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And it's so hard just to get warm, that the chill turns into despair.
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Yami's mindset then changed from self-pity to cold anger. 'What am I doing? I could just end it now, and no one would ever know. They never truly cared about me anyway. Joey, Tristan, Tea…Yugi…' The very thought of his aibou made him even more angry. 'Doesn't he see the torment I'm going through? Of course not, he's too busy with his friends and school, and…' The more he dwelt on it, the angrier he became. 'I'm his bloody yami, for crying out loud! I'm stuck with him all day!' Then a realization came upon his anger-blinded mind. 'He wants me to leave. He doesn't want me; I'm not appreciated anymore. He only wants me to win his battles for him…'
He walked into another room, which held an armory. Yami looked at all the swords, axes and weapons hanging on the walls. He picked up a small dagger, with a curling snake for a handle. 'Well, here goes. Good bye, cruel world.' He then placed the dagger's point on his stomach, waiting for the right moment. He waited…trying to find the courage for what he was about to do. Then, right before he plunged the dagger into his belly, something inside him snapped, and he fell to the floor, crying.
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Will you lift me up, with tender care? Will you wash me, clean in the palm of your hands?
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At that moment, a bright light filled the room. Yami looked up with his red, puffy eyes, trying to gaze at the light. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. After a few moments, the light cleared, revealing a man wearing a white robe, with shoulder length brown hair, a brown beard, and pale blue eyes.
There was something about the figure's calm smile that made Yami stand up again. Yami wiped his eyes with his arm as he asked the figure that had just invaded his soul room, "Who are you?"
The figure just smiled and answered, "A friend."
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Will you hold me close, so I can thrive? When you touch me, that's when I know I'm alive.
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Yami, still sniffling, asked, "Well, friend, what can I call you?"
The man smiled and said, "You may call me Spirit." He then smiled again, a sense of knowingness in his eyes.
'This man is truly crazy,' thought Yami, 'but he…nah.' "What are you doing in my soul room? And how do you know I exist? Why are you here? Did Yugi send you here to shut me up?"
Spirit walked over and laid a hand on Yami's shoulder. Warmth and lovingness flowed from his fingertips into Yami's body, calming him. "No, I came here just for you. You want to know who you are, no?"
Yami looked straight into the man's piercing blue eyes. "Yes, that is what I want…but…how would you know? I don't even know you. You're probably some ancient Egyptian freak trying to control my hikari and take over the world. Leave me!" Yami stomped over to the door, throwing it open. He motioned for Spirit to leave, but Spirit just stood there, a deep sadness in his eyes.
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Down here in the valley nothing's able to grow, 'cause the light's too low.
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"Yami, I know what you are going through. Trust me, no one truly cared for me either, except my Father and my close friends. And my followers. But there are a lot of people who hate and despise me, saying that I don't exist, cursing my name every chance they get." Spirit gazed with his soul-piercing stare straight into Yami's heart. "You've got a good heart, but it's on the wrong path. You are filled with hatred and despair, why? What is your problem, young one?"
Spirit's voice was just so calming and loving, but Yami was not about to fall for it. "What do you care? No one cares about me, I'm just some ancient spirit trapped in a gold puzzle, helping this kid who can't fend for himself with everything. I'm nothing! I don't know anything…I can't remember anything…it's as if there's a great knowledge-keeper and he's having a heck of a time keeping it all from me. But why am I telling you? How do I know you don't exist? You could be just a figment of my imagination, my cruel unforgiving imagination…as a result of too much stress and pain…"
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Folks spend their days digging 'round for diamonds and gold, 'till they just get old.
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Yami stared into the blue eyes again, tears welling up. "I don't know anything about myself. I've tried everything to figure it out, but nothing. Nothing has sparked a memory, nothing…it's all so empty…" Yami trailed off, staring into Yugi's soul room. It all looked so happy, so complete. 'He lacks nothing. He's completely happy. He also knows who he is in this world. I on the other hand haven't a clue. Emptiness…' He quickly turned on Spirit. "Why is it that Yugi is so happy and content, while I'm stuck in here, not knowing who I am, not having any one care about me, or anything? Why is it that Yugi has family, friends, love, happiness, while I have…nothing? Incompleteness? Tell me, Spirit. How do you know what I am going through? How would you know? If you're just a spirit…spirit's don't feel anything…"
Spirit shook his head. "I've felt a great deal, Yami. I've felt various degrees of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical pain that you'd never even imagined of. You've been seeking for answers in all the wrong places. Why don't we have a little talk?"
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And they don't know anything else. They don't know they're breathing bad air.
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"I love you, Yami. You're probably thinking, 'How? He's never even seen me before'. That's where you are wrong. I make it my business to know every one, and everything about everyone. I've known you ever since the day you were born, and before that. Now you might be thinking that I'm some sort of magician. But I'm not. I promise you, I love you, because I have suffered a lot of pain for it, too. Why do I love you? Just because. You don't have to do anything, know anything, and there's nothing you could have done to make me think anything of you otherwise."
Yami shook his head violently. "No, no, NO! How? How could you have loved me? I'm a freak show, with nothing. I don't know where I came from, I feel all this emptiness, and no one knows how to fix it, all right? You are just some freak who wants to make me feel better. Well, guess what? It didn't' work. Well, thanks for your time, good bye now, leave the freak to his ranting now, please? GO AWAY!"
"I love you."
"I hate you!"
"Please, Yami." Spirit took Yami's head in his hands. Yami stared back into the blue eyes, sensing that there was, indeed something peculiar about this man. Yami had told him to leave him alone, leave him, and all that for a long time now, and yet, the man wouldn't quit. He just wouldn't quit.
Yami pushed the man's hands down. "You seem to have it all figured out. Who am I, then?"
Spirit smiled softly. "You will find that out in due time. All I've come here for is to help you, as a request."
Yami was speechless. "Someone…sent….you here? Who? Who was the one who wanted to cause me more torment and anguish? WHO WAS IT?"
Spirit replied, "Your hikari, Yugi. He sent me here, because he believes in me, and I love him. He has sensed your anguish, and he sent me to help, knowing that I could help you.
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But I'm tired of living like this, and my soul cries out, "If you're there…"
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Yami stood transfixed to the spot. "Y-Yugi sent you? So, he really does care about me?"
Spirit nodded. "Yes, Yami. Even thought you are full of emptiness right now, there are people who care for you. Yugi, Joey, Tristian, Tea, Yugi's grandfather, and I. All of them know me, and love me, and they all sent me here to help you."
"Is that why they're always so…so happy?"
"It's called 'joy', Yami. Yes, joy. Something much better than happiness. Joy will fill the void in your soul, and complete your being. Would you like to know such power?"
Yami thought about I carefully. 'What do I do? He is promising me the impossible! And he knows nothing about my past. He can't help me. But, if Yugi knows about him…he can't be all that bad…' "Yes, Spirit, I will try this 'joy' of yours."
Spirit smiled. He walked over to where Yami was standing, and put his hands on his head.
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Will you lift me up, with tender care? Will you wash me, clean in the palm of your hands?
Will you hold me close, so I can thrive? Will you touch me, that's when I know I'm alive.
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The bright white light filled the room again, and it surrounded both the men. Spirit had his eyes closed, and had his hands on Yami's head, mouthing something to himself. Yami stood, eyes shut, trembling with the awesome power of the man. He could literally feel the joy filling up the void inside him. It came on so fast, that tears squeezed from his crimson eyes. The shattered pieces of his soul were coming together. His heart was softened. Yami was then, complete.
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Call me up to your side. Draw up me up to your light.
Let it blind me, Lord, refine me, refine me out of my mind.
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Yami was finally complete. His soul was no longer in torment. As he stood up, he looked into Spirit's eyes.
"You weren't joking. That really does fill people. So, if you really do exist, and you can help people in this way, why do others hate you so much?"
Spirit shook his head. "I'm not sure. They're angry with me, scared of me, they feel as if they are not worthy, they choose to think that I'm crazy, that I don't know what I'm talking about. Most people choose to believe that I'm not real. But you have discovered tonight a lot more than most people in the world has discovered. But others will follow, so fear not."
Yami nodded. "I will not fear. Thank you so much, Spirit." Yami then walked over and embraced Spirit. "You've calmed the angry storm that was my heart. Thank you, thank you—"
"Yami? Are you feeling better?" Yami turned around and saw a head poking around the corner of the door, the head of his little hikari.
"Yugi?" Yami walked over and picked his aibou in a swinging embrace. "I've never felt better! Thank you for sending me this man. He is truly amazing."
Yugi grinned. "Told you so."
Yami frowned. "Did not."
"Did so."
"Did not."
Spirit laughed. "Oh, get out of here, you two. Go have some fun now."
Yami and Yugi grinned. "Ok!" and they ran out of Yami's soul room. "To the movies!" Spirit heard Yugi shout. "Nah, the arcade," Yami replied.
Spirit just smiled, and with the same bright light he had come with, he left. Leaving behind him another legacy of joy and love.
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Will you lift me up, with tender care? Will you wash me, clean in the palm of your hand.
Will you hold me close, so I can thrive? Will you touch me, that's when I know…
I know I'm alive.
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BG: Well, what'd you think? I have wanted to write this for about a week now. And if I have offended you by writing this, well, I'm sorry, but I'm entitled to unleashing my imagination and freeing my soul just like every one else. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Read and review! ^_^