LivLiv: Hey y'all! So this is just a little Christmas short I wrote to tell you that yeah, life can suck, I would know, but it really does get better. Hang in there.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. Next year all our troubles will be out of sight."

I watch this movie once a year at Christmastime, and it always makes me feel good. I stop and listen to Judy Garland sing on my T.V in my room that I haven't left for days. My friends are busy with school so I haven't seen them. I couldn't go to school because my life is shit. I mean, I got into a really good university but something happened. So instead, I'm busy with multiple therapies and drowning in sadness. It wasn't my fault. Sometimes life just sucks, but it seems as though my life always sucks.

Next year. Next year my problems will go away. Next year it won't be as horrible, and next year I'll feel happy. After such horror, I can't help but think that this song is a sign to keep holding on.

I drop the bottle of painkillers and keep watching Meet me in St. Louis. You can do it, Amu. You've had much worse.

End of Flashback – One year later

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yule tide gay. Next year all our troubles will be miles away."

As tears fill my eyes, I stop and think. It really got better. I wanted to die last year, really. I can't tell you how many times I was going to end my life, but life got so good. I'm glad I held on. My troubles really are miles away. Judy sings the rest of her song to her little sister, and I think of Ami.

I get up from my tiny little twin bed, the only bad part of living on residence at university. Walking over to my desk, I grab my phone. Taking a picture of Judy Garland smiling at her sister, I send my sister a text saying "wish you were here watching this with me! Xoxo Merry Christmas."

No matter what, it always gets better. The waiting really sucks, but if you meet the right person, move to the right city, or your life changes in the right way, goodness will come your way. I'm not afraid anymore.