Authors notes- This is my first time writing fan fiction and I am not great with dialogue stories so please be nice. I decided to write this after reading another story that gave me serious Spaily feels. I really like the idea of McHastings, but I feel like the two are way too similar and the only way they would really work is if there was a mediator which is where Emily comes in! I also really like the idea of Spemily, but in any universe where Paige exists Paily is endgame. So to satisfy my Mchastings feels and my Spemily feels I wanted to write a Spaily fic since there are not really any out there. I don't really know where I am going to take this story or how often I will be able to update, but if y'all like it I will try my best. Let me know your thoughts on the story and any ideas about it you want to see happen.
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters
-Spencer POV-
It had been two weeks since Toby had locked me in my steam room. Four weeks since I had found out he was on the A team. Four weeks since my heart was ripped to shreds. Four weeks since I had slept through the night without nightmares haunting me and I was falling apart. It was like I wasn't even in my body, but rather, an outsider watching myself; watching myself crumble unable to do anything to stop it. Every day I watched myself break a little bit more until I thought I couldn't break anymore. I could. It had been a particularly rough day, the numbness had faded away long enough for me to feel the full force of the knife twisting deep in my heart. The days where I felt it all were the worst I now preferred the numbness.
I was exhausted and I didn't know what to do. It was only 7pm, but since I was already holed up in my room I figured I would try to fight for some sleep. I fell asleep almost immediately. Falling asleep was never the problem. The problem was staying asleep. The problem was the nightmares. Just like every night I jolted awake the image of Toby in that hoodie with his hands around my neck still clear. My hands went to my neck where I could still feel his hands squeezing. Looking at the clock on my bedside table I sigh as I realize only 10 minutes had passed. The nightmares were coming sooner each night I was getting less and less sleep. If this continued soon I would be getting no sleep at all. The exhaustion is excruciating, but I feel like I can't breathe so I decide to go outside. Maybe if I tire myself out enough I will at least be able to sleep through the nightmares. I doubt it, but it is worth a try. Before I can talk myself out of it I am outside begging my legs to take me away from this hell.
I am so exhausted I don't realize where I am going until I am standing in front of Emily's house. Emily is one of my best friends and throughout this whole ordeal she is the one that has truly been there for me. For some reason she is the only one I have been able to talk to about this and that is probably the only reason I have not completely crumbled. The other girls know about Toby, but Emily is the only one who knows the details, the pain, the fear, and worst of all the nightmares. My relationship with Emily has always been different, closer. I can always tell her anything and she will help me get through whatever hardship comes my way. I don't know what I would do without Emily which makes me way more protective of her, protective almost to a fault. As I stare at her door I decide that since I am already here I may as well talk to her and see if it will help, it usually does.
I walk up to the door and ring the bell. Immediately I regret ringing the bell I should have texted her I chastise myself. What if she is not home and here mom answers the door? I don't think I could handle that. Or crap what if Paige is here? I don't want to ruin their night. Paige. This thought makes me feel even worse, it wasn't too long ago that I was accusing her of being A when in reality A was sleeping in bed right beside me. A shudder runs through me and tears threaten to surface suddenly I am nauseous as I fight off another image from my nightmares of Toby on top of me, inside of me, all over me. I try to shake the image and focus on where I am. I focus back on Emily and hope that Paige is not here I don't think I could handle the guilt if she is. After that night with Nate or whatever his name was I apologized to her, but after hearing about her past with Ali and after the way she saved me on the train it will never be enough. I can never take back what I said or the emotional damage I know I did. After a few seconds pass I am about to turn and leave so I don't risk it, but before I can I hear someone approach the door. I quickly try to get a hold on my emotions before the door opens to reveal a startled Paige. I was clearly not who she was expecting either. "Paige" I force out in a pathetic voice as I start to panic. I am losing control of my emotions and the last thing I want to do is break down in front of Paige.
As Paige takes in my appearance her eyes immediately soften and she takes a small step forward. "Spencer, hey are you okay?"
I try to respond but I can't I feel the tears fighting to spring free and I know if I speak I will lose the fight to keep them in. The worried look on her face is haunting me I don't understand how she can be so nice to me after how awful I was to her. "Emily" is all I can manage to force out before I feel the tears being set free. Before Paige gets a chance to respond the tears take over and everything starts to fade out I feel myself falling. I can vaguely here Paige calling my name but I can't respond I can't do anything but cry.
-Paige POV-
I am sitting in Emily's living room waiting for her to return. She had gone out to pick up dinner for our impromptu movie night date and she wanted to surprise me with something so she made me wait here while she went out. After about 10 minutes I heard the doorbell ring and I thought it might be Emily needing help with the food so I got up to answer the door. When I opened the door I was shocked to find a tired looking Spencer instead. "Paige" she says in a barely audible voice.
As I look closer at Spencer worry begins to overtake me. She doesn't look tired she looks broken. She has the same look I had years ago in my struggle with Alison, defeated self-hating and ready to give up. "Spencer, hey are you okay?" I immediately ask as I step towards her. I can see the internal struggle she is having as tears start to well up in her eyes.
After a moment she finally whimpers "Emily." I know she is looking for Emily, but before I can tell her where she is I see tears start to flow and her knees start to waver.
"Spencer" I yell as I lung forward and catch her just before she hits the ground. She is sobbing uncontrollably now so I scoop her up into my arms and carry her into the house. I place her gently on the couch then move to go grab some water but before I can Spencer grabs my arm in a panic.
"Please don't leave me" she sobs weakly. The sight breaks my heart so I sit down on the couch and pull her into me. She lays her head on my chest and hugs my waist tightly. I wrap one arm snuggly around her and stroke her hair with my other. I know words won't help her now so I just hold her close and let her cry.
Soon I feel Spencer's sobs die down and her breathing even out. I look down and sigh as I watch her sleep. Seeing her this broken hurts I know we have had our problems, but she doesn't deserve this no one deserves this. Before I can think about it too much I hear the door slam shut as Emily comes bustling in. The sound causes Spencer to stir in her sleep and a panicked look flashes across her face. I tighten my grip on her and softly whisper "Shh Spencer it's okay you are here with me no one is going to hurt you. It was just the door, it's just Emily.
This seems to calm her down and she snuggles tighter into me. "Emily" she mumbles with a small smile before her breathing evens out again. Once I am sure she is back to sleep I look up towards the door and see a startled and confused Emily. My eyes catch hers and she snaps out of her daze rushing over to me.
"What happened? Is she okay?" she asks as she kneels in front of me the fear clear in her eyes.
"I don't know" I reply "she was here looking for you that's all she got out before she broke down." I pause for a moment before I continue "I didn't really try to get her to talk I just calmed her down and got her to sleep. I figured rest was the thing she needed most she looked exhausted."
Emily's eyes locked on mine and a sad smile appears "thank you" she whispers "for taking care of her"
"It's my pleasure" I respond sincerely.
-Emily POV-
After a long wait at the bakery I finally return with dinner and some coconut cupcakes for Paige. I am super excited to surprise her so I burst through the door letting it slam behind me. I walk towards the living room and what I see on the couch stops me in my tracks. Paige is sitting there holding tightly to Spencer. I am confused as to why Paige is cuddling with Spencer, but then I see her face. It is clear Spencer has been crying and the way I closed the door seemed to have startled her. I watch on in awe as Paige pulls Spencer in closer and whispers in her ear. I know just how incredibly comforting Paige can be so it's no surprise when Spencer relaxes into her and falls back asleep. These last few weeks have been really rough on Spencer I know she hasn't been sleeping so it is relieving to see her finally relaxing and getting some rest. Paige looks up at me with a sad smile that breaks me out of my daze. I rush to the couch and kneel in front of her. "What happened? Is she okay?"
"I don't know" she replies quietly "she was here looking for you that's all she got out before she broke down." she pause taking a breath before she continued "I didn't really try to get her to talk I just calmed her down and got her to sleep. I figured rest was the thing she needed most she looked exhausted." She looks up at me with uncertainty and I smile.
"Thank you, for taking care of her" I say as I stare at her in awe. She is honestly the most kind and caring person I know especially now that she is so comfortable with who she is.
"My pleasure" she responds with a slight smirk. Sometimes she doesn't realize how amazing she is and this appears to be one of those moments. "No seriously" I say firmly, holding her gaze "I know things between you two have not been great so this means a lot to me."
She smiles slightly and replies softly "It was nothing; I mean what was I going to do leave her crying on the porch?"
"No" I laugh, "but you didn't have to comfort her like this. I am really glad that you did though because I know firsthand just how comforting it is wrapped in your arms."
A blush begins to spread across her face and she dips her head she looks back up and sighs "I think maybe I should hand her over to you and just head home" she says, but before she can move I stop her.
"Don't she needs you" I plead. Paige shakes her head and opens her mouth to argue, but before she can I point to spencer "Look at her. She has not slept in weeks, not even in my arms. The nightmares only seem to be getting worse yet here she is sleeping peacefully in your arms." We both watch Spencer for a minute before I continue "Paige you may not believe me, but trust me you make her feel safe. You have saved her before and you are saving her again you are chasing away her nightmares."
I catch her eyes and try to portray my sincerity. "Okay" she whispers as she settles back into the couch.
"Okay good. How about I get you some food we can watch a movie and let her get some sleep" I say as I get up and head for the kitchen.
After the movie finished I cleaned up all the food and put the leftovers in the kitchen. On my way back to the living room I stopped in the doorway and watched Paige and Spencer. Seeing them snuggled like that, seeing Spencer finally sleep, seeing Paige care so much for one of her best friends it made her happy. It made her heart burst with love. Hearing a noise I look out the window and see my mom's car pulling into the driveway so I quietly go out to talk to her.
"Hey sweet heart" she says when she sees me "is everything okay? Did Paige go home already?"
"No Paige is still here she is inside with Spencer actually"
At the mention of Spencer's name her smile fell "How is she?" Pam asks the worry clear in her voice.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about it has been rough on her she hasn't been sleeping, but somehow Paige got her to sleep so I was hoping Paige and Spencer could stay the night." Before she could respond I quickly added "Paige will sleep in my bed with Spencer and I will sleep on the floor, please just for tonight"
My mom places a hand on my arm and chuckles "Emily its fine, she can stay just make sure it's okay with her parents okay" I nod and she continues "Do Spencer's parents know she is here?"
"I don't know" I say with a sigh "she was already asleep when I got back with our food and Paige said she didn't say much so probably not."
"Okay I will call her parents and let them know she is staying here and you go have Paige call her parents."
"Yeah thanks mom I love you."
"I love you too Emily."
I quietly made my way back into the living room and smiled when I saw Paige had dozed off. Kneeling in front of her I placed my hand on her knee. "Paige" I said with a gently shake of her leg.
"Hmm" she replied as she slowly opened her eyes to look at me.
"Hey babe, why don't you call your parents and see if you can stay the night. I already asked my mom and she said it's not a problem, that way Spence can get a good night's sleep and we can talk in the morning."
"Okay sounds good" she says as she reaches for her phone. While she calls her parents I head upstairs to get my bed ready.
My mom stops me in the hallway "hey honey Spencer's parents said its fine if she stays they are glad she is finally getting some rest."
"Okay thanks" I say as I turn towards my room.
"Oh and Em"
"Yeah mom" I say as I stop and look back towards her.
"You don't have to sleep on the floor. I know spencer needs you guys and I trust you and Paige."
"Thank you mom" I say as I hug her. It still amazes me how far she has come and it makes me so happy when she does says things like that.
I pull away and smile "good night honey" she says kissing my forehead "Let me know if you girls need anything."
"Okay I will night mom." As she went into her room I headed back downstairs to check on Paige. "Hey what did your parents say?" I ask as I enter the living room.
"They said it was fine" she replies with a smile. I move towards the couch to wake Spencer, but before I can Paige stops me, "let her sleep. I will just carry her she is a lot lighter than she looks." I look at her hesitantly, but she gives me a reassuring smile and before I can object Paige stands up effortlessly lifting Spencer into her arms.
Her strength both physically and emotionally still amazes me. I follow behind her and watch her gracefully carry Spencer up the stairs. When we reach my room I rush ahead of her and pull back the covers. Paige slides into bed and pulls Spencer tight while I pull the covers up over them. I give Paige a quick kiss before turning off all the lights and climbing into bed on the other side of Spencer. I snuggled into both her and Paige and as I close my eyes I whisper "good night Paige, thanks for being so awesome today. I love you."
"Night Em I love you too."