A.N.: Just kinda came to me. Angsty. Spuffyish Post Chosen.
Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you people, it's not mine
She used to think it was so funny. The dreams she used to have about Spike leaving her. He would always disappear in a pillar of fire, a pile of ash the only proof that he had existed in this world. She would wake up laughing, because it was always in the most ridiculous situations that he would disappear. Like one time when she was dreaming about them grocery shopping together, bickering back and forth between the fruits and meat sections, like it was as normal as breathing. And then he would turn, tell her he was going to pick up some bread and WHOOSH! He would be gone when she blinked. Another time she and Spike were fighting, dancing really, trading blow for blow, evenly matched as much as she hated it and he would raise his hand to meet her in midair and then Poof! No more Spike. They always struck her as comical.
Angel had left in a screen of smoke, all mysterious and tall, dark and handsome. He left her with a piercing stare that told her how sorry he was that things didn't work out, that promised her he would always love her. She had replayed that scene over and over in her head, changing lines, moving characters, wishing against everything that she had forced him to stay or gone with him. Angel had left her quietly, silently, going gently into that good night.
Riley had hopped onto a helicopter to leave her, staring pensively into the blackness, not hearing her desperate cries from below. She had jumped up and yelled, trying to get his attention, voice raw from her yelling. She had cried, angry tears rolling down her face as she realized he wasn't going to stop. She had watched as he had flown away, waiting until it was little more than a speck before trudging back home. She had daydreamed that she had gotten there five minutes earlier and he had jumped out of the chopper and pulled her into a passionate embrace. She would tell him she loved him and he….he would stay.
And Spike…he was the one who wasn't supposed to leave. The one that would always be there. He was the one who even if they weren't together was going to be by her side. To annoy her, to comfort her, to love her. She thought now that she had completely taken that for granted. Taken him for granted.
She didn't allow herself to think about those dreams anymore. Turns out they weren't all that funny .
A.W.: Sorry, I know…how depressing, just had to say it. I need to go write some Spuffy fluff now