A very personal question
Fandom: Merlin (BBC)
pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Mentions of the labyrinth of Gedref
Summary: Dialogue fic! Arthur has a very pressing and personal question he wants to ask Merlin: "Are you a virgin?" which Merlin answers and leads to much fluff.
A/N: Inspiration drawn from the unicorn legends and the desire to only write dialogue. I hope it isn't too confusing
!
"Merlin."
"Yes Arthur."
"Do- Since when are we on a first name basis?"
"Since you told me to call you Arthur when we were alone in you chambers."
Pause. "Really?"
Sigh. "Yes."
Scratches chin. "I don't remember that."
Smirk. "That's probably because you attempted to drown yourself in the mulled wine a week ago and told me to call you Arthu."
Nostalgic smile. "Oh yeah. Now I remember."
"Would you like me to stop calling you Arthur then?"
"No." Discreet cough. "No, Arthur is fine."
"Alright."
"Good. That's—good. What were we talking about this again?"
"I believe you were going to ask me something."
"Oh. Ah, yes. Stop distracting me, Merlin."
An incredulous choke. "Distracting you?! I did no su-"
"Yes, distracting me. Now, can I ask you a question?"
A suspicious glare. "What kind of Question?"
"A personal question."
"…It depends how personal the question is."
"Very, Very personal. You could even say – intimate."
"Uh," Blink. "Do I have to answer it?"
Thinks. "No, I suppose not. You could say no- but then I would probably order you to answer it."
Half-hearted attempt at a glare. "Then why ask me if you can ask it in the first place?"
Disbelieving stare. "Because I thought I would be chivalrous and you will be accommodating. Really, Merlin. Get with the programme."
"Fine! Fine. Just-Just ask it."
Smile. "Are you a virgin?"
"…"
"…"
"Arthur, I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that?"
"Certainly. Are you a virgin?"
"Oh god."
"It's something that has been playing on my mind since The Incident Of The Unicorn."
"Wait, what has unicorns got to do with this?"
Rolls eyes. "Because everyone knows that unicorns only let themselves be touched by virgins. Don't you know how the legends go?"
Indignant huff. "It's something that hasn't really kept with me, no."
"…"
"…."
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Are you a virgin?"
Awkward shift. "Do I really have to answer it?"
"I'm afraid so, Merlin. Unless you want me to make it a royal order?"
"I think it will have to be an order. Or else my dignity wouldn't be able to take it if I just tell you."
"Alright then. Merlin, I order you to tell me if you are a virgin. And it has to be truthful!"
Deep sigh. "sjduijdjddinm"
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You mumbled that into your neck scarf."
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Immensely."
"Prat."
"Idiot."
"Royal prat with a royal stick up his a-"
"Just get on with it, Merlin!"
"Yes! Yes, I'm a virgin. Happy now?"
"Really?"
"Yes."
"A virgin?"
"…Yes."
"Wow."
"It's not that big a deal, Arthur."
"I know. It's just…"
Confused. "What?"
"I, uh, can't understand why you would still be a virgin."
"Look, it hasn't really been at the top of my list of 'things-to-do'. In case you haven't noticed, being your manservant and helping Gaius out has pretty much taken up all of my spare time."
"That wasn't what I meant."
"And do bang on about the reputation of village boys, we both know that it doesn't apply to me."
"I didn't mean that either. Look, would you just shut up for one minute?"
"It had better be good."
The Look.
"Shutting up now."
"What I meant to say was… that, um… you're a decent enough guy. Easy on the eyes. A little on the sarcastic side, but not enough for anyone to be put off…"
"Um…"
"I just can't understand why you would still be a virgin."
Blush. "Oh."
"Yes."
"Thank you."
Small smile. "You're welcome."