Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, or anything associated with it. I have written this story solely because I enjoy writing.
The Demon in the Water
Chapter 1: Stained with Blood
InuYasha was staring into the river before him. Staring at the hateful demon that even now stared back at him. The demon whose eyes were filled with blood, the demon who would gladly kill anything it could find, desperate to satiate its unending hunger for death.
Usually, when InuYasha was confronted with a demon, he was filled with anticipation for the coming battle, or anger as the thing threatened his friends. But as he looked into the eyes of the demon looking at him now, all he could feel was pain. Despair. Fear.
For the demon he was looking at…was himself.
Hours earlier, he and Miroku had been ambushed by a moth-demon in human form and his gang of bandits. With the Tetstusaiga still too heavy to be wielded properly, as it had been since it had been repaired with one of InuYasha's own fangs, the half-demon and the monk had been defeated, sealed in a corrosive cocoon by the demon.
Separated from the Tetsusaiga and his life once again in imminent danger, InuYasha's demon blood came to the fore, transforming him into a full-blooded monster. He remembered nothing until he woke up with his friends around him, their faces filled with concern…and fear. Waking up to find himself covered with blood. Some of it was his, wounds he had suffered at Sesshomaru's hand. Most of it was human blood.
One little boy had defended the half-demon, saying that InuYasha had slain the bandits who had threatened them. That he had avenged the people the cruel humans had killed, like the boy's grandfather.
InuYasha knew better. He had killed for the sheer pleasure of killing. The demon he saw reflected in the water would have killed all the villagers, as well as InuYasha's friends, just to achieve even greater levels of ecstasy.
Even after sloshing about in the river for what felt like hours, the smell of the blood still clung to InuYasha's claws. The images of the villagers he had saved still haunted his thoughts. The terror they had felt as they looked at him still chilled his heart.
As he stared at his claws, shuddering at the stink of blood that clung relentlessly to them, InuYasha looked into the river…and that's when he saw the demon reflected in it. He didn't know if it was his imagination or a trick of the setting sun, but when he looked at his reflection, he saw the horrendous beast that had scared Kagome and the others before, the beast that had gleefully slaughtered dozens without hesitation. The half-demon saw the demon's burning red eyes glaring hatefully at him. He noticed the jagged purple markings on the monster's face. He cringed slightly as the beast held out its larger, stronger claws, and bared its huge fangs at him.
What terrified him the most was the soulless gaze the demon leveled at him, the gaze of something that existed only to kill, kill, kill, and kill until there was nothing left. Something that would forever be driven to hunt the living, would never be free of the blinding lust for death.
Sickened by the sight of the demon, and with the smell of blood still on his claws and tainting his soul, InuYasha slogged his way out of the water and onto the shore, where Kagome stood waiting. How can you stand to even look at me? InuYasha wondered as he turned back to look at the river, falling to sit on the ground, unable to even meet Kagome's gaze.
InuYasha knew his demon side scared the human girl who had come to mean so much to him. He knew that the demon he had seen reflected in the river's water would gladly turn his claws upon her if given the chance.
And yet, despite this, despite the threat that InuYasha knew he posed to her, Kagome knelt down behind him, clasping her arms around him. "InuYasha…" she whispered, worlds of compassion and understanding conveyed by her voice and touch.
Doing his best to act disaffected, InuYasha managed a slight snort. "Don't think about it, Kagome," he muttered. "Those filthy bandits don't mean anything to me."
And they shouldn't have mattered. They had been like vultures, seizing upon the weak and helpless, taking everything their victims had, including their lives. They had allowed themselves to be led by a demon that had been as wicked as the bandits themselves. InuYasha had probably saved a lot of lives by killing those murderous bastards.
Their deaths shouldn't have mattered to him.
But they did. As much as InuYasha might have wished otherwise…they did.
Kagome knew that as well. "Don't kid yourself," was all she said as she leaned on his back, conveying whatever comfort she could.
But InuYasha couldn't be comforted. He could only stare at the demon reflected in the water, think of the next time. The next time the demon slipped free of its prison.
Next time, Kagome, InuYasha thought, next time, you could be the one to feel these claws.
As InuYasha and Kagome looked at a sunset many would never see, he felt the reincarnated priestess shift about before moving to kneel beside him. Looking at her through the corner of his eye, he saw that Kagome was struggling with something. He said nothing, did nothing. He merely waited for Kagome to speak.
"Listen, InuYasha," Kagome started, the words coming to her with difficulty. "There's something…I have to tell you."
"What?" InuYasha asked, his voice almost devoid of emotion.
Pursing her lips, Kagome took a moment before speaking. "It's about the Tetsusaiga," she began. "There's something about it…we haven't told you."
"What about it?" InuYasha responded, narrowing his eyes as he did.
"InuYasha, I'm sorry. I should've told you before, but…" Kagome fumbled, her face a picture of fear, concern, and shame. "The Tetsusaiga is more than just a weapon. Your father left it to you…to protect you from your demon blood."
It took a few moments for InuYasha to process what Kagome was saying. "It…protects me from the demon?" he finally asked, his confusion mounting.
Kagome nodded. "Myoga said that…the Tetsusaiga seals your demon blood. It's what keeps you from transforming. That's why your father hid it in the black pearl in your eye. To keep your demon blood sealed," she explained. Taking a breath, she continued, "When Goshinki broke the Tetsusaiga, it allowed your demon side to emerge. So from now on, if you let go of it…your demon side will be able to emerge."
As InuYasha looked at Kagome, his confusion dissolved somewhat…and was replaced by anger. "Are you telling me that you knew about this the entire time?!" InuYasha shrieked, all of the pain and frustration he was feeling aimed right at Kagome.
"We all did…" Kagome whimpered, collapsing before InuYasha's fury. "Miroku, Sango…all of us…"
Aghast, InuYasha rose to his feet, his entire body quaking with rage. "Then why the Hell didn't you tell me?! What, do you like seeing me as a monster!?" he roared, the images of what the demon had done racing through his mind. The scent of the blood…all that blood…
But then, something happened that slowly dispelled InuYasha's fury. Before his eyes, Kagome's eyes filled with tears, tears that fell to the ground as she curled up on the ground before him. "I'm sorry…" she whimpered, looking so fragile that it looked as if she would fall apart at any second. "I was afraid…"
"Afraid? Of what?!" InuYasha retorted, some of his anger still lingering.
"I thought that…if you knew about the Tetsusaiga…that you would just get rid of it…" she explained, looking more brittle with each passing word. "That you would just…rely on the demon…on your claws."
As InuYasha looked at Kagome, saw the pain and misery that had spread across her face, he realized what she was saying. How many times had he stated that he had wanted to be a full-blooded demon? That this was why he sought the Shikon Jewel? And now that he had been granted the possibility, especially with the Tetsusaiga all but useless? So heavy that he actually had tossed it aside in a battle with Sesshomaru?
Yes, InuYasha wanted to be a full demon.
But not the demon he had seen in the water. The demon that lived only for death.
As Kagome continued to weep, her tears gaining greater strength with each second, InuYasha lowered himself back down to the ground and slow, carefully embraced Kagome. "I'm sorry…" was all he said, the words so soft that even his sensitive ears were barely able to discern them. Responding to his presence, Kagome melted into his embrace and returned it, her tears falling upon him as slowly ran his claws through her hair. Claws that still stank of blood…
Some time passed before Kagome recovered and she and InuYasha finally went to rejoin the others. The sun had set a while ago, leaving the two of them to make their way through the darkness to where Shippo, Miroku, and Sango were waiting for them. The three of them were seated around a campfire, and looked up upon noticing their approach.
InuYasha found himself apprehensive as he looked his three friends. He honestly didn't like thinking about such things, given his pain-filled past. But even if he didn't admit it to another soul, he knew that his life would be a lot emptier with these people. His fellow warriors.
As he and Kagome stood before the others, InuYasha waited. He waited for them to tell him to his face that they were leaving, that they would continue to fight Naraku without him. That InuYasha had become too dangerous for them to stay with. It would have been the smart thing for them to do. The wise thing. And it would probably be what was best for them. There was no use in an ally that might turn on them in the heat of battle.
It would be the smart thing to do. InuYasha hoped that they did.
He hoped even more that they didn't.
As the silence became unbearable, Miroku spoke up. "I trust Kagome has explained the situation to you," the monk said, the fire's light dancing about his face. It wasn't a question.
For a moment, a bit of InuYasha's usual attitude came to the fore. "Yeah, she told me. She told me how all of you having been keeping secrets from me!" When InuYasha saw the three of them recoil slightly, the guilt they all felt visible on their faces, the half-demon took another breath and lowered his eyes. "Look, I…"
"We understand," Sango responded, Kirara meowing in agreement. "We should have told you, but…"
"Yeah, I know. Myoga told you not to," InuYasha growled lowly. As even more guilt appeared on their faces, InuYasha his own shame wrapping about him like the heaviest shackles. "So what now?"
"InuYasha…" Kagome murmured.
"We've been discussing everything that's happened, and we've come to a decision," Miroku stated, the guilt he and the others felt abating somewhat as they looked right at InuYasha. As the half-demon felt his stomach clench in anticipation, the monk continued. "We've all decided to stay with you."
When these words finally made their way past InuYasha's turmoil, he looked up at the others in shock. "What…?" he spoke disbelievingly.
As InuYasha stared at the others, Shippo got his typical smart-aleck look. "That's right! After all, somebody's got to look after you and Kagome!"
"That's right. We won't abandon you. Either of you," Sango stated resolutely. When InuYasha returned Sango's gaze, the Demon Slayer became even more serious. "InuYasha, if it weren't for you, my brother would be dead now. Dead by my own hand. I can't just leave you now."
"None of us can," Miroku agreed. "InuYasha, you've saved all our lives more than once. We haven't forgotten that."
"But…" InuYasha struggled, his eyes wide with disbelief. Didn't they hate him for what he had done?
"Besides, it's not like we're defenseless," Kagome stated, just the slightest hint of tease in her words as she went up to the half-demon. "If things get bad, you'll need me to bring you back."
As Kagome indicated the Beads of Subjugation that hung from about his neck, InuYasha regarded the artifact with grim humor. How many times had he cursed the miserable things, especially when Kagome would hit him with multiple 'sits'? Had he the power, he would have ripped the Beads away a long time ago.
And yet, Kagome had used the Beads to snap him out of his full-demon state in the past. She had probably saved him from what he now feared the most.
For the first time, InuYasha felt gratitude to Kaede for restraining him with the Beads.
As these thoughts ran their course, InuYasha looked hard at the others. "Are you all sure about this?" he asked, trying to keep his bluster up. "It's not like I actually need you or anything." Come on, just leave! Get as far away from me as you can! I don't want you to die!
The others gave InuYasha a weak smile, but it was Miroku who approached him. "Believe it or not, InuYasha, I do know what you are going through." When InuYasha opened his mouth, preparing to shout that the monk couldn't possibly understand what he felt, Miroku held up his right hand. "You all know what will happen to me one day, if Naraku is not defeated." As InuYasha looked at the hand that held the cursed Wind Tunnel, the curse that had killed both Miroku's father and grandfather, the monk continued. "I have long since come to accept the possibility of my dying this way, but there is something I can't accept. Something that terrifies me."
With everyone watching, Miroku drew his right hand close to his face. "When my father died, he had my master Mushin restrain me, so that I would not be close to him when his Wind Tunnel finally consumed him. If he hadn't, I would have been pulled into the void then." Letting this sink in for a moment, Miroku continued, "That is what I'm most afraid of; of killing my friends even as I die as well."
InuYasha didn't say anything, didn't do anything. He could only stare at the others as Kagome brought it home. "I don't care what you say. We're not leaving you, InuYasha. No matter what."
The half-demon looked at his friends, the people who had braved so many dangers by his side, had filled so much of the emptiness that had he had to endure over his many years of life. When the emotions that cascaded through InuYasha's heart became too much for him to restrain, he immediately turned away. "Fine," he somehow managed to get out past through all of his conflicting emotions. "Just…do whatever you want."
With that, InuYasha sat down, his back still to the others. As he struggled against the human emotions that were making their way to the fore, fought to keep the tears back, he once again felt Kagome wrap her slender arms about him. He turned his head slightly as her face appeared from over his shoulder. "Don't worry, InuYasha," she murmured, gently rubbing his cheek with her own. "I promise you, no matter what happens, I'll be right here for you. You won't be alone."
InuYasha looked away as the tears redoubled their efforts, doing everything he could to hide the emotions that were dancing about his face. But even as his eyes became watery, he raised up one of his hands, and laid it gently upon one of Kagome's.
"I know, Kagome…" he muttered as a single tear succeeded in freeing itself to fall to the grass. "I know…"
This is my rendition of what happens after the battle in which InuYasha's full-demon side slaughters the group of bandits, but before he goes to Totosai, looking for a way to make the Tetsusaiga lighter. I hope everybody is enjoying it. I've still got one more chapter to go, so I hope you'll all be there! Please, read and review!
I hope you'll also check out my other stories as well! You know how to find them! So until next time, enjoy!