Forever & Always
I grabbed the last box out of the car and walked up the stairs of my new house. I quickly ran into the bedroom to find Ashley making the bed. "It looks great in here babe" as I put my arms around his waist.
He smiled "Thanks, the whole house looks great. I can't believe we finally did it"
"I can't believe we did it either," I turned Ashley around and kissed him lightly. "I love you so much sweetheart"
"I love you too"
Ashley pulled me on to the bed and continued to kiss me gently. Ashley slid his hands up and down my back. There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it" Ashley pushed me off him.
I followed him down the stairs. "Danny, Ben!"
Ashley yelled in excitement. I smiled I haven't seen Danny and Ben since Asking Alexandria went on tour. I ran down the stairs and hugged them. "I've missed you guys so much!"
They smiled at each other then looked down. Ben held up his finger so I could see the beautiful ring that was on it. I looked down and saw Danny had a matching one. Ashley's eyes widened. "Ohmygosh! It's so beautiful, I'm so happy for you two!"
Danny and Ben blushed. "Thanks Ashley, I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with this gorgeous man" Danny kissed Ben on the cheek.
Ben looked up and saw my slightly messy hair. "Woah guys, sorry to cock block" he winked at us.
"Yeah so you guys should leave" I said eyeing him.
"Andrew Dennis Biersack be nice" Ashley said hitting me in the shoulder, "would you guys like to stay for dinner?"
"Sure!" Danny and Ben said together.
I groaned "Dudes"
They both laughed and walked inside. Ashley went into the kitchen to put the chicken on. Danny looked at me, and then whispered. "So when are you going to ask him to marry you."
I looked to see if Ashley was coming. "I was planning on asking him in a couple weeks when we go to Paris"
Ben screams "Really, that's so romantic!"
Ashley walks in the room, "What's so romantic?"
I give Danny and Ben a glare. "Nothing" They both say.
"Alright then, dinners ready," as he gave us a weird look, "Andrew come help me with the dinner"
"Okiedoki" I grabbed his hand and followed him into the kitchen.
I got the chicken and put it on the table. We placed the plates in front of everyone. We took our food and began eating. I looked over and noticed Ashley only had a bit of food and wasn't eating. I always knew he didn't eat a lot, but he wasn't eating at all. I will talk to him about it later; maybe he's just not feeling well. "So when's the wedding?" Ashley asked smiling.
"Late next month, would you two like to be the best men?" Ben laughed.
"Of course!" Ashley jumped in excitement.
"Well we best be on our way, thanks for supper guys" Danny said.
"Anytime, drop by whenever you guys like" I said while hugging them goodbye.
"Take care"
I watched them leave. Ashley went upstairs for a shower, Why wasn't he eating? I wanted to believe that he just wasn't feeling well or ate before, but I couldn't. I knew something was wrong. I heard something that sounded like puking upstairs. "Ashley?" I ran to the bathroom. "Babe? Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine Andy. Just don't come in" He sounded like he was crying.
"You sure? You can tell me if some things wrong"
"I'm fine Andy" He snapped.
Okay maybe he was just not feeling well. I walked into the bedroom and laid down. I was still worried; I'll talk to him when he gets out. I heard the shower turn off. A couple minuets Ashley walked in. He was pale and shaking. "Ash, what's wrong" I asked him again pulling him into bed with me.
"Nothing Andy, I'm fine. I just wasn't feeling good" He snuggled up against me, "I'm tired, can we just go to bed?"
"Yeah sure. I love you with all my heart Ashley" I kissed his forehead.
"I love you too, and I will forever"
I waited for Ashley to fall asleep before I did. I loved feeling him in my arms, and being able to hear his heart beating. I never wanted to let him go. I really did love him with all my heart, he was my everything, and without him I wouldn't have anything left to live for.
As Ashley took deep breaths I felt his ribs poking out. He felt so skinny, like he could just break in my arms. I knew something was wrong.
A Baby Boy You Held So Tightly
I woke up the next morning with Ashley still in my arms. I looked over at the clock, 9:30. I kissed Ash's forehead. "Wakey wakey sweetheart"
I saw Ashley's beautiful eyes open. "Good morning" he said smiling.
He got up to go make breakfast. I could smell it from the bedroom; I walked over to the bathroom and got into the shower. The water was warm and soothing. I got out and quietly walked down stairs; I walked up behind him and kissed his cheek. "What's cooking good looking?"
Ashley laughed, "That's almost as bad as, have you seen how hot my mom is?"
He turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist, I kissed him softly. "I love you, always have and I always will" Ashley whispered in my ear.
"I love you too babe"
I sat down at the table as Ashley brought me my breakfast. He sat down beside me with no food. "Ash, why aren't you eating?" I looked at him in the eyes.
"I'm not hungry" he looked down.
"Ashley. You haven't ate anything for the last 2 days"
"I woke up a few hours ago and I ate something"
I knew he was lying. I got up and put his hands in mine, and looked him in the eyes. "Ashley please. Tell me what's wrong, I know you didn't get out of bed to get food. I would have woken up. Please Ash I love you."
His eyes started tearing up. "I-I'm fat and ugly! I don't deserve to eat! I don't deserve help. I don't deserve happiness and I don't deserve y-you!" He stuttered out.
I pulled him into my arms. We were both crying. "Ashley you're beautiful in every way. You're my definition of perfect babe, and if anything I don't deserve you Ashley. I never want to lose you and I'll always be here for you."
He started crying harder, I held him tight. "P-please never l-leave me." Ashley chocked out.
"I won't I promise, but please eat for me." I begged him.
"I'll try."
I went into the kitchen and got him some blueberries. I walked into the room. His eyes were bloodshot and his face had tears falling down still. "Here you go babe"
I placed the berries in front of him he glanced at them. He put one in his mouth. His face chewed the berry slowly, he ate one after the other, after about 10 minutes he finished the bowl. "Ashley I'm so proud of you"
-Ashley's POV-
"I have to go to the store I'll be back later sweetheart. I love you." Andy said opening the front door.
"Bye I love you too hun!"
Andy walked out of the door. I can't keep this fucking food inside of me anymore! I hate lying to Andy but I can't take it! I ran upstairs and shut the bathroom door behind me. I took my tooth brush and stuck it down my throat. Hitting my gag reflex 3 times before I threw up. I did it 3 more times until I felt my stomach completely empty.
I fell to the ground and cried. What would Andy say if he saw me like this? I felt so bad, why can't I just stop this for the man I love! The car door slammed. I flushed the toilet and ran into the bedroom. I laid on the bed and waited for Andy to come up.
Clutching onto a Disaster
Andy walked into the room. He jumped onto the bed beside me. He got on top of me and kissed my lips softly. His hands slowly went up my back and down around my waist. His tongue asked for permission to enter mine. I allowed it, our tongues danced together and it felt so amazing. His mouth moved away from my mouth and down to my jaw line. I stopped a moan from coming out. His lips moved down to my neck. I couldn't stop the moan from escaping my mouth. He slipped off my shirt and started moving his lips down my chest. I moaned again. He licked my stomach and moved down to kiss my hip bone. I slipped off his shirt and drew hearts on him with my finger. I kissed his lips hard and rubbed the bulge in his pants. Andy moaned, as I undid his belt. I slid it through the loops and threw it across the room. Andy took off my boots and his boots. He quickly undid my pants and pulled them off, revealing my boner. He took off his own pants then got on top of me. He kissed me, each kiss getting harder and more intense. I pulled down his boxers, which made me more turned on. He sat me up, he laid down and I went to lean over him. It was my first time and I was scared, but I loved Andy and was ready to give up my virginity for him. I licked his head teasing him, finally I put my mouth over his dick. He moaned louder and louder every time. He started thrusting his hips forward making me deep throat him. After 5 minutes he got up and flipped me over. I was on my hands and knees; he got the lube out of the dresser drawer. He rubbed it on himself then on me. "Are you ready Ash?" Andy asked.
"Of course" I said weakly.
He thruster forward and back over and over. Soon pain turned to pleasure. I moaned louder and louder until my moans turned into soft screams. "Uh-Andy right there." I whispered.
He started moving faster. "Andy I'm close."
Me saying his name made him moan, all at once a burst of pleasure came over both of us. We collapsed beside each other, both breathing heavily. I just lost my virginity to the man I love.
I walked into the bathroom. I felt like a new person, Andy was so beautiful inside and out. I am so lucky to have him. I couldn't help but feel guilty. Andy still thought I was going to start eating but really after the meal I was throwing it up. I hope he doesn't find out, but I'm not ready to let go of my eating disorder. I looked in the mirror, Andy was so gorgeous and I'm just me. Why did he ever pick me? There are so many other guys that Andy could have. Even Jake, CC, or Jinxx. I love Andy so much and I never want to let him down. But I'm not strong enough to beat this. I looked in the drawer and found a razor, it was so tempting.
Keep me on my toes
I took the blade and pressed it against my wrist. I lightly slid it across. A think line of blood appeared. Panic raced through my mind I didn't know what to do. I cut again and again, I didn't know what was happening. I washed the blood away and put on a long sleeve. I crawled into bed with Andy, he was already asleep. "I love you Andy and I'm sorry I keep failing you." I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his heart until I fell asleep.
-Andy's POV-
I woke up the next morning with Ashley in my arms again. I carefully moved out of bed. I went down to the kitchen and made Ashley a surprise breakfast. I made French toast and eggs. I quietly put the food on plates and brought them to the table. I poured us both apple juice because it was Ashley's favourite and ran upstairs. I jumped on the bed. "Wake up my sleeping beauty!" I yelled as I jumped.
Ashley shot up in surprise and almost screamed. "Andrew were you trying to give me a heart attack"
"Maybe" I winked at him.
I gave him a piggy back down stairs into the dining room. I sat him down at the table. He smiled. "Thanks babe, but I could have made you breakfast."
"But I wanted to make you breakfast for once." I quickly kissed he cheek.
I started eating. When he put the first bite into his mouth I smiled. He was actually trying to get better for me! He ate all of his food. I was so proud it was unbelievable. "Andy. Can you go to the store down the street and get Advil?"
"Sure thing sweetheart" I smiled.
I left the house and walked down the street.
-Ashley's POV-
Andy walked out the door and I rushed up to the bathroom. I took my tooth brush and shoved it down my throat. I threw up until my stomach felt empty. Andy would be back soon, so I rushed back down stairs and turned the T.V. I saw Andy walking down the street. He came in "Andy!" I yelled.
"Ashley!" he came and sat by me, "here's your Advil."
"Thank you." I kissed his cheek "I love you Andrew Biersack"
"I love you too Ashley Purdy"
"Can you put the Advil in the bathroom for me hun."
"Sure and why did you need the Advil?"
"Oh. Uhmm I had a headache. But it's gone now."
"Okiedoki"
Something was wrong with Ashley. Something he wasn't telling me. I'm so worried about him, I just want him to be okay. I'm scared that the eating disorder will get the best of him and he'll get sick. I wouldn't be able to go through life without him by my side. I wouldn't be able to sleep without him there.
I put the Advil in the bathroom like he said too. I looked around the bathroom and found a towel with blood stains on it. "ohmygod..." I whispered.
I ran down the stairs. "Ashley! What the fuck is this?" I yelled holding up the bloody towel.
"Andy." He gasped with tears falling from his eyes.
"What did you do to yourself?" I said sobbing.
He didn't reply. "show me your wrist Ashley."
"No. you don't have to see it."
"Ashley, now"
He pulled up his sleeve. I gasped "Ashley…"
7 cuts went up his arm. The first two weren't deep but the other 5 were. I started crying I couldn't hold it back. Why would he do something like this? I bent down and kissed each cut on his arm. "Ash, you know I love you and I always will. Why did you do this to yourself?"
He looked into my eyes and he was crying "I-I don't know. I just wanted you to be proud of me but, I didn't think I could do it."
"But you did babe."
I held him in my arms all night. We stayed in the living room watching his favourite shows, He fell asleep in my arms on the couch so I carried him up to the bedroom. I laid him in bed and kissed his lips. "Ashley please. I love you so, so much. Never do that again." I got into bed and held him as close and I could. "I'll never leave you"
Your forever is all that I need
Ashley was down stairs cooking. I took out the journal I had been meaning to write it, but I kept forgetting.
Dear Journal.
Over the last few weeks Ashley has been doing amazing! He's been eating more and more every day, he hasn't cut since that night and he's smiling again. Not a fake smile that he used to have, a real smile that brightens my day whenever I see it. I love him so much and I'm happy he's getting better. Also his birthday is coming up; I have no idea what to get him! We're going to Paris in 2 months, I'm so excited to purpose to the love of my life... I can't wait.
I walked down stairs. Ashley was singing to himself. "Good morning sweetheart." I said while sneaking up behind him.
"Good morning."
I sat down at the table. "Darling you still haven't told me what you want for your 17th birthday."
"All I want is for us to be happy." he said smiling softly.
"I'm serious Ash. What do you want?"
"I was serious too. I have you, that's all I've ever wanted." He walked over to the table and sat on my lap.
"I love you Ashley with all my heart, I have never felt this way about anyone before. I'll love you forever." I kissed his lips softly.
I could feel him smiling while I was kissing him. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I wrapped my arms around his waist. Every time I kissed him I got butterflies. He broke the kiss. "Your forever is all that I need. I love you more then you know."
I stared into his eyes, they sparkled. I picked him up and brought him out to the deck. The stars were shining so bright. I laid him down on the tree hammock and got in beside him. He turned over and put his head on my chest as I put my arm around his shoulder. We looked up at the stars. "Look how bright the stars are." Ashley said.
"There not as bright as your eyes." I whispered pulling him closer.
He giggled "You're so cheesy Andrew."
"But it's true. Nothing could ever shine brighter than your eyes do."
I heard him sniffle. "Awe, are you crying babe?" I asked.
"N…no." He said with a shaky voice.
I held him as tight as I could. "Why are you crying? I complimented you"
He didn't answer for a while. "Because I don't deserve it Andy. When I first started eating a couple weeks ago… I was throwing it up after you left. I'm so sorry I lied to you! But I didn't know what to do"
I felt my heart break. I didn't know whether to be mad or sad. I got off the tree hammock. "Why Ashley?"
I ran inside.
-Ashley's POV-
Ohmygod. What have I done! I saw the bedroom light turn on. I ran up the stairs to see Andy. "Andy I'm so sorry. I'm eating now though. Please don't be mad!"
I was ready to get on my hands and knees and beg him to not be mad. I couldn't handle knowing the man I love was mad at me. Tears were falling from his eyes. Then he looked at me emotionlessly. "Ashley I'm leaving for a while."
I could never leave even if I wanted too.
My heart broke into a million pieces. I grabbed his hand and held on as tight as I could. "Andy you can't leave…"
He sat on the bed. Not moving or talking for a while. The silence was horrible I wanted to run into his arms and kiss him and tell him I was fine. But I couldn't. I didn't know what to do other than just sit there. He finally looked up at me. "Why Ley?"
I froze. He hadn't called me that in a long time. The last time he called me Ley I was crying on the bathroom floor at school as he comforted me. I walked over slowly and sat down beside him. He was breathing heavily trying to not cry. "Andy please don't leave…" he paused to hold back a sob. "You're the only reason I'm still trying to get over my eating disorder. I-I..."
He looked down at his feet and I see his tears fall on the ground. Andy took a deep breath and said, "Ash. Do you remember how we first met?"
I nodded thinking about how I saw him walking down the hallway. He was taller than the rest and looked different. His long black hair hung in front of his beautiful blue eyes. He was gorgeous. I knew I wanted to be with Andy since the moment I saw him. Andy looked up at me. "I remember… I was walking down the hall when I saw you staring at me. You looked beautiful. With your flawless skin and perfect hair. I couldn't help but walk up to you. As soon as I heard your soft voice I fell in love with you. I was so happy to see that we had the same class first fourth and fifth period. I remember when we need to pick partners I looked at you and you smiled. My heart melted. That night I kissed you on the lips for the first time as you walked out to your car to go home. The kiss gave me butterflies and made my heart beat faster. I fell for you so quickly…I couldn't believe it. Every time I kiss you, I fall in love all over again Ley."
I looked into Andy's eyes. He was crying still but had a small smile on his face. I just sat there trying to find the words to speak, but I couldn't. Andy looked at the ground again. "Who am I kidding? I could never leave you."
I smiled and instantly wrapped my arms around Andy. He put his arms around my waist and kissed me softly. I could taste the saltiness of his tears as they continued to fall from his bloodshot eyes. I broke the kiss first. "I love you Andy." I whispered against his lips. I felt him smile.
"I love you too Ash."
I nuzzled my head into his neck. I felt his hand go up and down my back as I started to cry again. I was so lucky to have him and I almost blew it. Andy got into his PJ's and I got into mine. We laid in bed and snuggled while Andy sang Saviour to me. I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark. But now I know my wounds are sown because of who you are. I will take this burden on and become the holy one. But remember I am human and I am bound to sing this song. His voice was beautiful. I fell asleep to the sound of Andy's heartbeat.
-Andy's POV-
Ashley had been happier than normal. He was always smiling and laughing. His eyes sparkled. The other day a slow song came on and we danced to it in the living room. I complimented Ashley every morning and he'd blush. We had Danny and Ben come over; even they brought up how Ashley was happier than he was the last time they had visited.
I realized I loved Ashley more and more every day. Everything he did was perfect, it didn't matter what.
We sat on the tree hammock. I could see Ashley was falling asleep so I tickled his stomach. "Hey!" he gigged and smiled.
"Sorry I didn't want you falling asleep yet"
He smiled again. "Babe. Seeing you smile makes my heart melt and my day better. I love you so much." I said as I played with Ashley's hair.
"Awe. I'm so, so lucky to have you Andy. I love you more then you will ever know." Andy smiled and took a deep breath.
"I'm lucky to have you here."
I thought about everything that was going to happen in a couple mouths when school was over and they went to Paris. What if Ashley says no to marrying him? The thought popped into his mind. No just stop thinking about it Andy said to himself. Why would he say no? The thought of marrying Ashley made him smile.
"We should go to bed" Ashley said startling Andy.
"Uh, yeah" he replied. Ashley jumped onto Andy's back as they went inside.
Andy laid in bed with Ashley in his arms. "I love you" Ashley said.
"I love you too sweetheart." Andy really did mean it when he said that, and he hopped Ashley did too.
Someone could waste their whole like waiting for someone like you
I looked over at Ashley. He was still sleeping, my beautiful Ley laid there. I kissed his warm forehead and his eyes fluttered. "Good morning my fallen angel."
He snuggled closer to me. "Good morning" he mumbled into my chest, "What time is it?" he asked.
"10"
Ashley rushed quickly sat up. "Ben and Danny are going to be here in a half an hour!" he rushed out of bed and into the shower.
I had totally forgotten they were coming over. They were coming over to plan the wedding with us. I got out of bed and walked over to the mirror. I had black make-up running down my face from all the crying I did last night. Ashley got out of the shower and sighed at me. He got a towel and walked over to me, he gently washed off the make-up. "This is why I wear water proof make-up." he said with a wink.
I smiled and he bit his lip. I couldn't stop myself from leaning down slightly and kissing him softly as I whispered "I love you" in his ear.
He smiled against my lips and wrapped his arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around his waist. I slowly walked backwards pushing Ashley up against the dark brown wall. He tangled his hands through my hair. He pulled away first. "I love you too." He whispered back.
I finished getting dress and fixed my hair. I heard a knock at the door and Ashley ran down the stairs obviously excited to help plan the wedding. Ben and Danny walked in as I was walking down the stairs. "Why don't we all go to the coffee shop down the road?" Danny suggested.
"Sounds great." Ashley said with a small smile.
We climbed into Ben's car which smelt like strawberries and ginger bread. We drove down the street to the new coffee shop that just opened. I got out first walking around to open Ashley's door. When he got out I laced my fingers through his. I looked over and Danny had his arm around Ben's waist and kissed the side of his head. I smiled, they were so cute together. We walked into the coffee shop. Ashley sighed quietly when we got in. I looked at him "What's wrong babe?"
"It's nothing." He said smiling. "Okiedoki. What do you want?" I asked him. "Umm. Just a hot chocolate." "Okay."
I walked over to order our drinks. When I looked over there was a tall guy talking to Ashley. Ashley didn't look too happy with the guy. I watched as Ash stood up and the man pushed him. I ran over as fast as I could.
-Ashley's POV-
I looked over to where my ex-boyfriend was. I noticed he was walking over. I broke up with him because he was abusive and controlling. He would make me do things and if I didn't he would hit me. It was one of the reasons why I started cutting and why I had an eating disorder. He would always put me down and made me feel horrible about myself. Calling me fat, ugly, worthless, stupid, freak, emo and the list goes on. I was alone at the table Ben and Andy were ordering and Danny was in the washroom. He got to the table. "Hi Ashley." He said with a smile.
"H-hi Heath…" I shuddered out.
"I haven't seen your beautiful face around for a while." He said touching my chin.
"Don't touch me ass hole." I said quietly.
He laughed bitterly "What did you just say bitch?"
"I said… Don't… t-touch me." I said a little louder.
"I can touch you whenever I want too." He said loudly.
I stood up trying to get away from him, but he pushed me down. "You belong to me Ash."
Tears started falling from my eyes as memories started to come back. Andy rushed over and pulled me up. He put his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek. "Are you okay sweetheart?" he asked.
I nuzzled my head into his neck. "Yea… I'm fine." I whispered.
"Who the fuck are you and why are you touching Ash?" Andy snapped at Heath.
"Excuse me who the fuck are you and why are you touching Ashley?" Heath grabbed my arm and pulled me over to him side.
"He's my boyfriend, now let go of him."
"Eh. Your boyfriend?" Heath laughed, and pulled me into a kiss. I tried to get away but he was to strong.
"Stop!" I yelled, "Andy help…"
"Just let go of him!" Andy yelled at Heath.
"What are you going to do about it?" Heath laughed once again.
Heath threw me over to one of his friends. His friend held me so I couldn't get away. Heath walked up to Andy. Heath was way taller and stronger than him. "Kay, all I wanted was for you to let go of ash-"Andy was cut off by Heath punching him in the face. Andy fell to the ground and Heath got on top of him and started punching him more.
I screamed as loud as I could "Andy!"
I ran over to stop Heath. He got up and walked away. "I'll be coming back for you Ashley." He walked away winking at me.
Andy was bleeding and not responding to me. "Andy!" I yelled again. Still nothing. I called 911. "Hello, Yes, Please come my boyfriend, coffee shop, okay, thank you" I cried into the phone.
"Andy…Please… wake…u..up." I said between sobs. I looked up to see Ben and Danny standing there shocked. Tears falling from their eyes.
The ambulance got to the coffee shop. They put him onto a stretcher and put him into the ambulance. I got in with him. I couldn't stop crying. I hated Heath so much. For so long he hurt me, and now he hurts Andy.
A Love That Leaves You Breathless
I sat by Andy's hospital bed. I held his hand tightly in mine. Why hasn't he woken up yet? It was already 2 o'clock in the morning. I looked up at him, his flawless pale skin had bruises all around his nose and eyes. He was hurt because of me, it was all my fault. Tears threatened to come again, but I held them back. I had enough of crying. Ben walked in the room. "Hun, you should go home and get some rest you look horrible."
I looked up, still holding Andy's hand. "But… I don't want to leave him."
"Look, the hospital will call if he wakes up. You need sleep Ash. Danny and I are leaving now so we'll drop you off at your house." Ben said looking worried.
I thought about it for a while. It's true, they would call if he woke up. I might as well get some rest. "Fine…" I agreed.
I bent over and kissed Andy on the forehead. "I love you." I said while brushing the hair out of his eyes, "I'll be back tomorrow."
I walked out of the hospital. Ben had his arm around my shoulders. I could barely walk and I was shaking. This is going to be the first time I slept without Andy in 7 months. How am I going to sleep knowing he's in the hospital because of me! A tear fell from my eye. "Ashley stop crying he's going to be fine." Danny said.
"But… it's my fault." I said quietly.
"No it's not. It's that bastard Heaths fault." Ben snapped obviously angry that I was blaming myself.
I tried to speak but my voice was too shaky. I don't care what anyone else said I knew it was my fault, and until Andy was better I will continue to blame myself and cry. I got into Danny's car and we left. On the way back to the house Ben was talking to me about the wedding but I wasn't listening. All I could think of is the way Heath laughed when Andy said he was my boyfriend. It was such a cold laugh. I hope I never have to see him again.
We arrived at the house. Ben got out to open my door, and when I got out he pulled me into a hug. "It will be okay Ash." Then he got back into the car and they drove away.
I opened the door and walked inside. I got into the bedroom and broke down. All the memories from Heath came back to me. I felt so weak and broken down. I slowly walked into the bathroom and found the razor that I hid from Andy just in case. I felt so numb and without Andy I was so vulnerable. I had no one to talk to at the moment. A sudden thought came into my mind. What if Andy didn't love me anymore because of what Heath did…? The thought scared me, but I couldn't let it go. I took the razor and pressed it against my leg. I slowly slid it across my leg and watched the thin line of blood come out. All of my stress came out as I continued to slide the razor on my leg. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 cuts. 6 cuts turned into 20. Then 20 turned into 30. My leg was stinging as I washed it with cold water. It's all my fault. It's my entire fucking fault! The thought kept coming. Over and over again. It wouldn't stop. Andy won't love you anymore. He'll move out and find someone better then you. He deserves better. The voices wouldn't stop. I started to believe them. "He'll find someone better…" I whispered to myself.
I walked over to the bed. And curled up into a ball. I was so cold and lonely. It felt different laying in bed without Andy's arms around me. I couldn't hear his heartbeat. I felt lost. "Please wake up soon Andy…" I said as I fell asleep.
"Ashley. Come here now." Heath snapped at me. I walked over to him slowly. "Yes Heath?" I said quietly. "Get me another beer."
I walked over to the kitchen and looked into the fridge. There was no cold beer. So I got a warm one from the counter. I walked down the stairs and handed it to him. "This beer is fucking warm!" He threw it on the ground, "Clean this shit up Ashley." He ordered.
"Okay…" I said.
I grabbed a wash cloth and dusk pan. I put the broken bits of glass in the pan. "Hurry the fuck up Ashley! And put more beer fridge so I can have one later!" He yelled.
"I hate you so much…" I mumbled under my breath.
"What did you just say?" He said walking into the room.
"I said I w-will." I stuttered.
He slapped me in the face. "No you didn't!" He yelled and hit me again.
With tears falling from my eyes I tried to get away. He pulled out a knife and put it to my back. "Get the fuck back here and clean this shit up Ash."
I slowly went back to clean it up. "I love you Ashley." He said.
"I love…you too." I slowly whispered.
I woke up screaming. Tears falling from my eyes and I was sweating. All I could manage to say was "Andy…"
-Ben's POV-
I walked over to the kitchen table and sat on Danny's lap. "Do you think Ashley's going to be okay by himself?"
"He'll be fine babe stop worrying." Danny kissed my cheek, "He's just scared."
"Okay…" I said quietly.
"Love, you know I love you with all my heart and would never do anything to hurt you right?" He said wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.
"I know." I turned around to face him, "I love you so much Danny, and I don't care what anyone else says… I'll always love you."
Danny's face went pink. "I love you too Benny."
He kissed me softly and moved his hands up and down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled lightly on his hair. His kisses were so amazing and beautiful. I got butterflies every time we kissed. I bit his lower lip. Making him moan. He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. He laid me down. He kissed my jaw line and slowly kissed down to my neck. I moaned quietly. "Okay, that's enough for tonight." I winked at him.
"Babe. Not cool." He rolled over onto his side of the bed.
I giggled softly. "Good night."
Danny put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Good night, I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." I mumbled into his chest.