Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

I haven't uploaded anything here in a very long time. All my writing has been mostly going to my tumblr blog under the same penname as here, so if you wanna read a few, they're there. Otherwise, I'll try to upload a few onto here.

So this was a gift for one of my friends on tumblr a long while ago. It's a little naughty in some parts, but nothing happens outwardly (sorry to disappoint :P) Also, I apologize if the characterization of the Pope offends anyone. I assure you, it's purely for the funnies.

"Come on, Toni! We gotta get going!"

"Mmng."

"The fu—you're not even dressed yet?! Get your lazy Spanish ass in gear, Vatican City is hours away and like hell Feli is beating me there!" Lovino slammed the door behind him as he stomped back out of the bedroom, leaving the sullen Spaniard alone. He sighed and rubbed his eyes slowly before dragging himself to his feet and shuffling to his closet to pick out a suit.

Just a few weeks ago, Lovino told him the news: as part of a long tradition made/forced by their bosses, the two halves of Italy will travel to the Vatican to officially introduce themselves to the new Pope as personifications of the Italian nation. Strict law normally states for nations to keep the secret that they are nations to everyone aside from their bosses. The Pope is the exception, since the church is a huge aspect of not only the Italian culture, but for the culture of many countries all over the Earth.

However, this year, there has been a change. According to Lovino, they were allowed to bring one guest each this time, since this Pope was extremely interested in other country's personifications as well. Feli was bringing Ludwig, who isn't Catholic but still considers it a great honor to meet the Pope, especially the current one with German descent. Antonio… not so much. He was a fairly religious man himself, but he bore a bit of resentment toward the current Pope Benedict XVI. It stemmed from the very simple reason that he had a few homophobic beliefs.

"Well, what do you expect?" Lovino asked him when Antonio voiced his opinion. "A good number of Catholic bigots are homophobic, and this is their idol. He is also the idol of my nation, your nation, the potato bastard's nation, and many more. We cannot screw any of this up, Toni. If we anger the fucking Pope, it will humiliate all of our nations and anger our bosses, which Feli and I certainly don't need."

Lovino was very clear about the rules—no touching and no mention of their relationship. If Antonio came, he would have to act like Lovino's very polite colleague. At first, Antonio refused to go, seeing no point in coming if they have to keep their love a secret. He was a country of passion and being denied the right to show it and scream to the world that the grumpy Southern Italian was his lover felt like a blow to his very soul. Lovino had to beg and plead for him to come along, not wanting to go alone while Feli and Ludwig get to go together. It took several hours and a lot of cute pouty faces (maybe a kiss or two as well) before Antonio grudgingly agreed.

Once he was dressed in his suit, a classy Armani suit that Lovino bought him long ago, he made his way downstairs to be assessed by his lover. Lovino was sitting on the arm of the couch when he arrived, and he stood up when Antonio got to the bottom of the steps. His eyes slowly roamed over how perfectly his boyfriend filled the suit out, the clothes hugging his curves as well as defining little things like the color of his eyes and hair. Lovino let out a low whistle.

"Damn, I'm good."

"I feel so stiff in this thing. How am I going to survive a whole day in this?" Antonio made a face. Lovino's face softened and he walked over to busy himself over Antonio's tie, fixing the haphazardly-tied accessory.

"It's only a few hours. You'll survive."

"Survive hours without being able to touch mi amor?" Antonio abruptly yanked the Italian against him. "Impossible."

"Don't exaggerate. Now let go, you'll wrinkle our suits!" He ignored the protest and pressed soft kisses to Lovino's lips. He tried shoving the man away, but ended up getting pulled into a longer and more heated kiss instead. Their lips started moving passionately and desperately against each other, sucking and nibbling occasionally and heavy breaths being passed between them. The same message was sent across—that Antonio wasn't the only one hurting from this deal. Lovino would miss him too, miss touching and being touched by the Spaniard.

Sometime during the spicy kiss, Lovino's mind was clouded over. His heart was pounding and he lost his train of thought over and over, forgetting everything except the feeling of his partner's lips. As he slowly began to regain his senses, he found himself pressed against the wall with his hands clamped on Antonio's tightly-confound ass and gripping at the fabric with his boyfriend's lips kissing and sucking his neck. "N—Ah! T-Tonio…"

"I should wear a suit more often." Antonio breathed against his skin, his hot breath making the younger man shudder. "You seem to e-enjoy it." Lovino let out a short and slightly hysterical 'hah!'.

"T-Tonio, we're—we're gonna be l-late." Lovino groaned but made no move to shove the man off, even taking a hand off his butt and sliding it into his hair.

"So?" Antonio huffed. "L-let's just forget it, hm? Let's stay in bed and spend the whole day together."

"Tonio." Lovino murmured, still breathless but sounding more stern. His hands moved to slide along Antonio's back. "We have to go." Antonio sighed and nodded, but didn't let go. Neither did Lovino. They just held each other and occasionally planted kisses on one another. The old holy man has lived this long—they can spare 10 more minutes.

X-X-X

Finally, they got into the car and started the long drive from Madrid to Vatican City. Luck was on their side for the most part; there was minimal traffic on the way there and both nations knew a shortcut or two to get to Italy faster.

Whilst driving, Romano went over the rules—the Pope is to be treated with the respect of any king the Spaniard has had. If he says something disagreeable, he sits there and keep your mouth shut. He speaks when spoken to. Romano went on and Spain agreed with almost everything. He still wasn't happy over the rule of not being able to touch his boyfriend. "No kiss on the cheek?"

"We're not greeting each other, so no, there's no reason for kisses on the cheek."

"No hugs?"

"No."

"I can't even hold your hand?"

"Not even that." There was a long, stale silence for a moment before Romano quickly peeked at his lover and then back at the road. Spain was staring at him with an angry pout. "Hey, don't give me that fucking look! If we wanna make a good impression on this guy and stay on his good side until he keels over, we must give him what he expects."

"And he expects two straight men."

"Exactly." Spain scoffed. "Now, quit pouting. We'll be there soon." They rode in silence. Spain didn't speak until the following exit ramp.

"Will Feli and Ludwig be forced to hold back too?"

"Yeah. Those two also have reputations to uphold. You're lucky you're not in the same boat as the wurst sucker." Romano smirked. "The Pope came from his place." Spain spared a dry chuckle. He felt a tiny bit better knowing he and Roma won't suffer alone.

The rest of the drive was short. They were in Rome before they knew it and, finally, they arrived at the beautiful Vatican City. Romano parked and the two of them walked side by side as close as they could. Some Swiss guards greeted them and checked them before taking them inside and to the same area they left the Northern Italian and his 'date'. "Vee, fratello, you're kinda late!"

"Don't chaste them for being late, Italy. We just arrived 20 minutes ago ourselves." Germany nudged his little boyfriend and greeted Spain while Romano pretended that the German was a fixture in the wall, only talking to his brother. Veneziano filled them in and said the Pope was getting dressed still and they would have to wait a little longer. Spain wondered to himself why any man would take so much time to get dressed. Nevertheless, they had to sit and wait.

Spain let his mind wander freely. He thought about this morning and that long and hot kiss that could've led to other things if Romano hadn't come to his senses. In his opinion, Romano has always been the better kisser. Just the way his lips move and the way he uses his tongue; how he can be shy at first and then tap into those wild Latin instincts. It was enough to make even the country of passion melt. Spain licked his lips at the memory, and let his imagination run wild over what could've happened if they had just missed this silly meeting and ran upstairs instead. Oh, how wonderfully Romano would've used his lips then.

WHAM! "Presenting his Holiness, Speaker for the Lord—Pope Benedict XVI!" A guard announced after the doors were loudly opened. Spain had jumped to his feet and nearly knocked Italy over. Both regained balance as the nations came face to face with the Pope himself.

"Ahh, am I finally meeting the country representatives?" He kindly smiled at them. The Italian brothers stepped up first.

"Buongiorno, Padre! I am Italia Veneziano, but I am also known as Feliciano." The peppy Italy gently shook the holy man's hand.

"Meravigliosa di incontrarvi, Feliciano!" He shook Vene's hand, then Romano's.

"I'm Italy Romano, but you can call me Lovino if you wish." A soft smile graced his lips when he introduced himself. Spain just about attacked the man for his adorable face, but just rocked back on his heels beside Germany and waited for the 3 to greet each other.

"It's so wonderful to meet the representation of this great nation itself. And who would your guests be? Are they also Italy?" He glanced over their shoulders at Spain and Germany. The brothers chuckled.

"No, no, there are only 2 Italies. Well, 3 technically… but anyway! This is a good friend of mine, Ludwig. He is the country of Germany." Feli introduced.

"Ah, mein own homeland. Eine solche Ehre." The old man shook Ludwig's hand before turning to Spain curiously.

"This is Antonio, the country of Spain." Lovino simply stated. Antonio gave him a sideways look before shaking the man's hand.

"Delightful to meet you, all of you. Such wonderful nations, right here in the home of the Lord." The kindly man of God, plus his guards, led the nations into another room. It was similar to a grand study or small private library, with a few extra chairs in front of the big desk. There was a big cross over the desk on the wall. The Pope held a short moment of silence for prayer before inviting his guests to sit.

Feeling devious suddenly, Spain snuck his hand under Romano just as he sits and gives his bottom a quick pinch. "CHIGII!" he screeched, jumping back up to his feet. Everyone looked at him in surprise while the Spaniard tried not to laugh.

"What happened?!" The Pope looked at him wide-eyed.

"Um, nothing, just… static electricity. Shocked me." Lovino laughed nervously and sat back down slowly.

"Yeah, I felt it too!" Feli nodded. "It must be the chair fabric."

"Hm, I suppose so. I'm terribly sorry for that." The Pope frowned and turned to talk to the guards about getting refreshments or something of that nature. Lovino shot Feli a grateful look for the cover and glared at his innocently-smiling boyfriend. Antonio didn't regret his actions one bit, however. That fine Italian ass was always worth touching.

X-X-X

The meeting basically consisted of drinking wine and idle chat in Italian between his Holiness and the brothers. Occasionally, he would ask Germany a question in German. As best as Spain could pick up from the minimal Italian he knew, it was just mindless chat about the home life and such. They both responded with half-truths, like saying they live alone but open their home to other countries. They do technically live alone, since some of their stuff is still at their Italian villa. The rest took residence in their other homes in Germany and Spain.

At some point, the conversation switched to English, but Antonio was only half listening. He was back to thinking of more pleasant things, like what he'd love to do to Lovi when they left. He was torn between getting his boyfriend in a dress for some roleplay and breaking out the handcuffs. On one hand, he can always milk some lovely screams of pleasure from the Italian's kink. On the other hand, he'd love to dig his hands underneath the long skirt of that maid outfit they have tried out a few weeks ago. Heaven knows Spain longed to be called 'Boss' once again.

"Antonio!" He blinked slowly and glanced over at the caller of his name lazily. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noticed that Feli and Ludwig were not in the room.

"Mmm, yes Lovi?"

"Stop zoning out. You didn't even hear your question."

"Hm? Oh, right." He had almost forgotten where he was. Antonio straightened up and looked at Pope Benedict. The man was standing in front of them with his glass of wine. His face was a little red. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Lo siento. What were you saying, your Holiness?"

"I had asked what your duties are as a nation. With your country's history of economic troubles, it must be difficult."

"Yes sir, it can get pretty tough. Yah know how it is, with civil wars still leaving scars and all the riots. But I manage; I work hard and my country prevails." Spain smiled proudly.

"Yes, it is always so admirable, especially given how the nation itself is run."

"Gracias, padre, but wacha mean by 'how it's run'?"

"I mean no offense to you, Antonio, but your nation has undergone a lot of trouble with those riots and the wrong kinds of laws and decisions being passed." Toni frowned.

"I'll admit, my country has had some bad luck. But with all due respect, there's nothing wrong with any of our laws."

"Mm, it's debatable, but I would rather not get into any dirty topics." The Pope occupied his mouth with his drink. Antonio was afraid he knew exactly which law his Holiness disapproved of and was about to get defensive when he felt Lovino put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. He glanced at Lovino's warning face and sighed mentally. He remembered one of Roma's rules, to sit quietly and not argue if he speaks his opinion, even if he is wrong.

"It's a tragedy that my own homeland is considering passing it as a law. Thank the Lord that Italy still has some sense." The old man mournfully laminated.

"Sense about what, padre?" Lovino decided to ask.

"Same-sex marriage, my boy! What's your opinion on it?"

"Er, I'm indifferent about it. I'm loyal to the church, but I also have friends who I am loyal to that 'play for the other team', as my Grandpa Rome would say." Romano shrugged his shoulders lightly, trying to loosen the tense atmosphere. Spain snorted lightly, but the Pope was not amused. He hummed in thought and took another drink, during which Romano elbowed the Spaniard.

"I see. And you, Antonio? Since your country has made a law of it in 05, you must have no problem with it."

"Yes sir. Gender shouldn't get in between two people who love each other and want to be together." Spain spoke without missing a beat, looking the old man straight in the eyes. Lovino had to chomp down hard on his lip to keep from grinning like an idiot.

"What could you know of love, son?"

"They don't call me the Country of Passion for nothing, padre. In fact—" Antonio stood up, grabbed Lovino's wrists and abruptly yanked him up. Before anyone could speak, Antonio dipped and kissed him sweetly, holding him closely in his arms just a few feet from the ground. The Italian froze momentarily and even kissed back in the shock, his heart fluttering and blood heating up his face.

"Oh mY GOODNESS! WHAT IS THIS?!" A yell came from somewhere in front of them. Antonio broke the kiss to grin up at the frozen homophobic priest.

"This is what the Spaniards, Italians, and all other human beings would consider love, your holiness." He brought them back up to their feet and immediately lifted Lovino to sling him over his shoulder. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a much better place to be. It was lovely meeting you. God bless and such~." With that, he turned on his heel and left the frozen Pope Benedict standing there with his wine.

When the guards closed the big doors behind them, Lovino unfroze. "Wh-what the hell, you idiot?! Put me down! Get your ass back in there!"

"Mm, thinking about my ass, are we?"

"I'm serious, you bastard!"

"Lovi, do you really want to go back in there and face the wrath of the Pope and humiliation that you just kissed a man in his house?" Antonio raised an eyebrow.

"You—! I—…O-oh God… we made out in front of the Pope."

"Yep~."

"We made out… in front of the POPE." Romano's voice shook a little. "My life is so over."

"Maybe we won't have to attend these meetings now!"

"Veh, fratello? Antonio? Where are you going?" Veneziano asked, walking in the opposite direction with Ludwig from the bathroom. Antonio smiled to himself when he noticed the both of them looked disheveled.

"Feli! Go in there and make up a lie! I don't care what you say, just save us before it's too late!" Lovino frantically demanded. Feliciano asked no questions, just did what his brother told him and grabbed Ludwig's wrist as he ran toward the big doors Lovino and Antonio were leaving behind. They managed to get back to the car and get on the road despite the Swiss guards' odd looks at the couple while escorting them. Lovino spent most of the car ride ranting at Antonio and to himself while Antonio drove and waited for him to cool down in silent victory.

When they were a minute away from Romano's house, he had finally calmed down and looked thoughtfully at the windshield. "Feel better?"

"Mm."

"Penny for your thoughts."

"It's just… we just kissed in front of the Pope."

"Yes, I caught that, silly Lovi. You've said that many times already." Antonio parked the car in front of the house and met Lovino's eyes. They stared at each other for a moment before the Italian slowly broke down into giggles. His Spaniard joined him in laughter. Neither of them exactly knew why, but this whole thing just felt very hilarious to them. It was almost unreal.

"Y-you kissed me i-in front of the most p-powerful man in church!"

"Hell yeah I did!"

"He looked so fucking pissed at us!"

"I'm n-not allowed b-back there again, huh?" Antonio giggled, wiping his eyes. They were practically screamed in laughter, clutching their stomachs.

"Hell no! O-oh fuck, I can't breathe! Y-y-you're such a fucking i-idiot, y-you know that?!" Lovino's head fell against Antonio's shoulder as he tried to calm his laughter. "B-but you're my f-fucking idiot, you bastard, r-right?"

"M-mm." Spain hummed gently and let out a few more chuckles as he pressed a small kiss to the side of Roma's head. "All yours, genius or idiot." They sat like that for a little while, their laughter slowly dying down.

"I really liked what you said back there, about what you thought of marriage."

"It was the full truth, mi cariño." Romano leaned back slowly, looking down at the gear shift shyly.

"If… if it were possible… wo-would you—?" The words got stuck in his throat, and so did Antonio's words for a moment before he reached up and tilted his head up so he could look him in the eyes when he answered.

"In a heartbeat. There's nothing I want more than to spend my eternal life loving you and calling you mine. I love you, Lovino Vargas."

"I-I love you too, Antonio." His hand reached up to clasp Antonio's at his chin, eyes blurring with tears and lips twitching up into a soft smile. "So fucking much. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." Antonio didn't have an answer. He just knew he had to kiss this man for real this time, and he did. The kiss was sweet and loving. When they pulled back for air, they kissed again with a little more passion and desire.

Antonio gently shifted and started crawling over to Lovino's seat, making him scoot back to make room, the kiss unbroken until they were both pressed tightly together in the passenger seat, Antonio on his lap and facing him chest to chest. The love-struck Spaniard pressed a few more pecks to Lovi's lips before trailing them along his cheek, jaw, and neck. Their hips rolled together a bit and they gasped when they felt each other get hard.

"Shall we go inside, my Lovi love?" Antonio purred in his ear. Lovino shuddered and nodded, at a loss for words again. They opened the car door and Lovino managed to swipe the keys from the ignition before they stumbled out of the car and to the front door. Lovino leaned back against the wood as Antonio fiddled with the lock.

"Antonio, there's one thing I have to say first."

"Hmm?" He unlocked the door, but didn't open it as he looked at his lover's flushed and lust-filled face. Lovino gently let his hands brush over Toni's jacket lapel.

"I really do love the suit." He breathed. Antonio smirked a little and chuckled darkly before picking Lovino up and pressing him to the door. The Italian responded by wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck.

"Really? Mmm… now I feel a bit guilty about taking it off~." He opened the door and carried the man up the stairs for a night full of luscious kisses and hot and sweaty lovemaking. They even managed to find a spare pair of handcuffs somewhere in the closet.

X-X-X

The next morning (or early afternoon, rather), the pair woke up sore but satisfied, a good sign that last night had been as wonderful as they thought. Antonio made breakfast wearing only an apron while Lovino actually had more modesty and wore a light robe. He called his brother about the other day. By the time the bacon, eggs, churros, and coffee were made, Lovino ended the call and was able to dig in. "So, what did he say?" Antonio wondered, only partly caring about news of the old geezer but feeling a bit guilty for leaving the younger Italian with his mess. Lovino swallowed his food to respond.

"Well, Feli walked in and the Pope was screaming at him about us." Spain frowned at that. "So he and Ludwig were able to lie and claim that his Holiness had way too much wine to drink and to lay down. He also said that we all had an emergency to get to and that's why we left. The Pope even called Feli to apologize and say that he indeed woke up hung over and yesterday was a blur."

"That's fantastic! We should cook dinner for them in thanks." Antonio suggested. Romano nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Yeah, but there's a catch. Our boss demands that we go back and help the Pope with some paperwork, plus have dinner with him to make up for the trauma."

"Ah, okay. I suppose that's reasonable." Antonio shrugged and nibbled his bacon. Lovino eyed his thoughtful and all-too-mischievous undertone for a moment before leaning forward.

"Toni."

"Hm?"

"There's no way in hell you're ever going back to Vatican City with me."

"Hehe, I know~."

Translations:

Buongiorno- Good day

Meravigliosa di incontrarvi- Wonderful to meet you

Eine solche Ehre- Such an honor

Fratello- brother

Padre- father