AN: This story was inspired by Taylor Swift's song "Mine". For those of you who know the lyrics, you should see them reflected in the storyline. For those of you who don't know the song, I hope you'll still enjoy the story. I also did some research for the Coast Guard so I hope I've got that stuff close, if there are technical mistakes, or mistakes in the details, I hope you'll forgive me. Hope you enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds and the characters of the show do not belong to me, I'm only borrowing them.
2007 - Following the episode "Identity":
Reid stepped up to the office of SSA David Rossi, and knocked nervously. Part of him still wasn't use to Gideon being gone and still saw this as his former mentor's office. Other than the time he had come in here with Morgan and Prentiss, as they had tried to profile their new team member before their last case, he had been avoiding the office. He wouldn't be here now if Hotch hadn't asked him to drop something off.
"Come in," Rossi replied, glancing up from the report he was finishing up from their last case. He noticed immediately how hesitant and nervous the younger agent was. "Despite the rumors, I don't bite, though I might growl a little," he said, a small smile coming to his face.
Reid tried to smile, and failed as he took a few steps into the office. "Um, Hotch wanted me to drop this off to you. It's a consult he wanted you to work on," Reid said, his hesitancy coming through in his voice.
David Rossi held out his hand for the file. Slowly, Reid walked further into the office. He handed the file over to Rossi as he continued to glance around the office.
"I see the painters came in," Reid commented, noticing that the toupe walls were gone.
"Yeah, so what does this color say about me Dr. Reid?" Rossi asked casually, as he leaned back in his chair. He smiled slightly, amused at the flushed appearance that the younger agent's face took on.
"Ah, you know it was Prentiss who was using the wall color to profile you," Reid replied, looking around the office, wanting to see anything except his new teammate's face. "Maybe you should ask her."
"Maybe I will," Rossi commented. "Might be entertaining to hear her thoughts," the older gentleman said. He noticed Reid's gaze focused on something on the wall behind him. Turning his head to look over his shoulder, Rossi saw that he was looking at the Renaissance art that the young doctor had been profiling from. "Thought that was a good place for it. A person's taste in artwork says a lot about person, wouldn't you agree doctor."
"I guess, so. Sometimes. I didn't mean anything . . . I'm sorry if I offended . . ."
Rossi held his hand up. "No offense taken. We're all profilers here. Its second nature to profile people. We do it even when we're not consciously thinking about it. I'm the new guy on the team, its only natural that you all would be curious about me. It was kind of entertaining honestly."
"How much did you hear?" Reid asked, the tone of his voice revealing the nervousness he felt inside.
"Oh, I saw you all go into my office. You made it challenging for me to keep out of sight with you peeking out the door. I was wondering if you were actually going to leave the doorway?"
Reid nodded, his gaze floating around the office once more, not only seeing what was currently there but what use to be there too. On the bookshelf that was against the one wall, Reid's gaze fell on a picture. It showed a girl, early twenties sitting on a jetty by the ocean. The Pacific Ocean to be exact, as not only did he know the young woman in the photo but he knew it was taking about six years ago and he knew that because he remembered taking the picture.
"Whose that?" Reid asked, pointing at the photograph, curious to find out the relationship his new teammate had with the woman in the picture.
Rossi turned and looked at the photo. A smile came to his face. "That's Amber, my daughter. That was taken back when she was a sophomore in college. It's been about six years now. She's a rescue swimmer with the Coast Guard stationed out of Kodiak, Alaska, something that her mother blames on me."
Reid nodded, trying to keep his face passive so as not to give away that he already knew part of the information. To not reveal that he knew something that Agent Rossi didn't. Apparently, Amber hadn't gotten around to telling her father about her transfer yet. To be fair, Reid had only gotten the text informing him about it a few hours ago. The text had simply stated that she was being transferred to Station Washington in a couple of weeks and that she would call him tonight.
He suddenly wanted out of the office even more, and this time it had nothing to do with the fact that the office use to be Gideon's. Now he wanted out because he realized he knew a whole lot more about his new teammate than he had thought he did. Things that he was pretty sure Agent Rossi didn't want the whole team knowing.
Spencer Reid wasn't sure why he had never made the connection before. He had known Amber's last name was Rossi. Knew that her father was an author, as that was what the agent had been doing when he had met Amber, Agent Rossi having already retired from the bureau. Still, he had never made the connection that her father was indeed the well known profiler David Rossi whom Reid had been a fan of ever since he had read the man's first book.
Now that Reid had made the connection though, he suddenly wished he never had. The relationship he had with Amber Rossi had always been tenuous at best. It wasn't that the feelings weren't there. They loved each other, at least he thought they did, but neither of them had grown up in what could be defined as normal households. Neither of them had grown up seeing a loving example of what it meant for two people to live their lives for each other. Giving their childhoods it was only natural that they would have trouble developing normal, healthy, adult relationships. Despite all their problems though, there had always been something drawing them together. Reid had felt its pull ever since he had met her back at Caltech. The fact that he now knew he worked with her father just added one more element of weird to their unique relationship.
Reid opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't come up with anything, so he closed it again. The awkward moment was disrupted by the ringing of Rossi's telephone.
"I best be getting back to work," Reid said quickly, pointing toward the door as Agent Rossi reached for the phone.
Reid turned to head for the door and stumbled when he tripped over his own feet. Keeping his balance, his face flushing red once again, he continued toward the door.
"Agent Rossi," the older profiler said, answering the phone, catching the not so graceful exit of Dr. Reid. "Hey, Amber. It's nice to hear your voice. It's been awhile."
As Reid left his teammates office, he had the feeling that Agent Rossi was about to find out about his daughter's transfer.
Before walking into that office, Reid had thought the transfer would be a good thing. A chance for him and Amber to find again what they had once had. A chance to finally sort out their feelings for one another and figure out how to stay together. He had something to go on now having seen Hotch's relationship with Haley.
Hotch and Haley's relationship wasn't perfect, but then perfection was something that could only be found in fairytales. They had their problems, this job being one of the biggest of those, but through it all even someone as naive in the ways of love as Spencer Reid, could see that the two of them cared for one another. Reid had picked up on something being wrong with his boss's relationship lately. Had noticed Hotch didn't talk about Haley as much, nor did he call her like he use to. However, Hotch hadn't made any mention of it, and so Reid wasn't about to bring up the subject.
The one thing he did know was that Hotch loved Haley and Jack. Reid saw that love in everything his boss did, and every time he spoke of them. Reid hoped that one day he would find that. He was already sure he had found the person. Even after not seeing her for over a year, the two of them having caught dinner one time Amber was in town, he still knew he cared very deeply for her. Was it love? Despite knowing the logical, scientific definition of the word, Reid wasn't sure he could answer that. What he did know was that he enjoyed spending time with Amber. Felt better when she was around. Worried about her when she was away or he hadn't heard from her in awhile.
Now that he knew that Rossi was her father, he suddenly worried that maybe this wasn't meant to be. What would the older profiler think if he knew Reid had ever dated his daughter, let alone if the two of them got together once again. He had gotten the distinct feeling that Rossi didn't think too much of him while working on their last case in Montana. Rossi definitely hadn't seemed too impress when Reid had told him about reading all of the veteran agent's books nor had he been too talkative about the subject.
Reaching his desk, Reid plopped down in the chair and absently reached for the top file on the pile on his desk. He opened the file, and looked down at the contents laying on the desk in front of him, seeing them but not really seeing him. His mind was somewhere else.
Suddenly, he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Reid jumped at the touch, turning to see who was beside him. Glancing to his left, he saw Morgan, who had been working at his own desk, now standing there, a look of concern on his face.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you but I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. You opened that file but haven't done a thing with it yet. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"
"No particular reason. It just seemed like you were off in your own little world."
"Just thinking about something."
"Want to talk about it?" Morgan asked, not ready to let it go. It wasn't like Reid not to be able to focus while he was at work.
Reid shook his head no, and actually started working on the file. If he appeared to be busy working, the younger profiler was hoping that his co-worker would go back to his own work and let things go. It didn't happen that way though.
Morgan looked up to the office that Reid had just come out of. As much of an honor it was to work with a legendary profiler like SSA David Rossi, Morgan had his doubts about how well Rossi would fit with the new team environment of the BAU. Granted, this past case had gone much better than the first case Rossi had joined them on. Their new teammate seemed to be getting the hang of the new way of operating, working with them, sharing his thoughts with the team. Still, he was still the unknown link in the team, and as such Morgan was wary of Rossi. Not to mention, Morgan knew that there was something that Rossi wasn't telling any of them, not even Strauss. He also had the felling that it was that something that had brought him out of retirement.
Morgan looked away from the office and back down at Reid. "Is Rossi giving you a hard time?" he asked, knowing that Reid had just come from their new teammate's office. Yes, Reid, Prentiss and himself had been caught in Rossi's office, profiling the guy but Morgan wasn't about to let Rossi take that incident out on Reid. It had been his idea. Prentiss had followed willingly and Reid reluctantly. "I'll take care of it, if he is."
"What?" Reid asked, looking up at Morgan. It took him a moment to figure out what it was that the older man was saying. "No. It's fine. Rossi isn't giving me a hard time at all."
"Okay," Morgan replied and reluctantly head back to his own desk. He apparently wasn't going to get anywhere with Reid right at the moment. The dark-skinned profiler would let it go for now but he wasn't about to forget about it. He'd be keeping a close eye on Reid throughout the day and planned on making another attempt to get him to talk when they left work that afternoon.
Coast Guard Air Station Kodiak, Alaska:
"I'll call you with more details when I have them, Dad. I just wanted to let you know about the transfer and see if I could stay with you for a little while until I get settled," Lt. Amber Rossi said into the phone, as she sat at her desk at the air station. Around her it was business as usual at Station Kodiak, which to the untrained eye would look like chaos.
"You know you can crash with me anytime you need to. I also know you don't want to be living with dear old Dad for a long time, so I'll help you get settled into your own place as quickly as possible."
"Thanks, Dad," Amber replied, just as a call for her flight crew came over the station's PA system. "I got to go. We've got a call. I'll talk to you soon," Amber said quickly. She didn't even wait for her father's reply before hanging up the phone and getting to her feet.
At a brisk walk, she headed for the locker room as were the rest of her flight crew. Within moments she had donned the bright orange survival suit and gathered her gear from the locker. Pushing the locker closed, she turned an headed for the jayhawk helicopter that would be waiting to take them to wherever they were being called to.
One of four qualified female rescue swimmers currently with the Coast Guard, Amber Rossi had worked hard to get to where she was at. A champion swimmer since seventh grade, she had worked hard enough in high school, with both academics and her swimming, to earn herself a full athletic scholarship to Caltech, though college had been her mother's plan for her. Amber had her eyes set on the military, seeing it as way to get out on her own and to have the support of a close "family" that she had missed growing up. To keep the peace, Amber had given in and agreed to take the scholarship and go to Caltech, putting off any decision about the military for four years.
For Amber, there was never any doubt what she would do once she graduated from Caltech. The only thing that had changed was her choice in the branch of service she wanted to serve in. For as long as she could remember, Amber had wanted to follow in her father's footsteps and join the Marines. That had changed her first semester at Caltech. She had seen the Los Angeles Coast Guard in action for the first time, while working as an LA county lifeguard. She had been impressed to see how they had all worked together to reach a common goal. Impressed at the risks they had taken, especially the risks of the rescue swimmer, in order to save the lives of those that were in trouble. The men and the women were dedicated to everyday working to save the lives of those here at home, and not some unnamed faces overseas.
It was this cause of saving lives that had appealed to Amber. The Coast Guard, more directly than the other branches, were dedicated to the preservation of life. Sure, the rescue missions weren't the only thing the Coast Guard did. There was also the enforcement of maritime law. Missions to keep drugs from entering the country via the shipping lanes. By the mid-way point of her first year in college, Amber no longer had her eyes set on joining the Marines but in joining the Coast Guard. Though not a direct following in her father's footsteps, the spirit of the idea was still there and she still knew her father would be proud of her.
Much to her mother's chagrin, following graduation in May of 2003 Amber joined the Coast Guard and by mid-June was beginning Officer Candidate School at the Coast Guard Academy. As with many things in her life, her parents had fought over the whole incident, her mother blaming her father for her career choices. For putting "dangerous" ideas in her head. She had never been able to make her mother see that the choice was entirely hers. That though what her father had done with her life might have exposed her to the military life, he had never once pressured her to follow that path herself. Had never pressured her in her career choice like she had often felt that she had received from her mother.
At the end of the seventeen week course, Amber graduated at the top of her class from the program as an Lieutenant junior grade. Though her father had managed to make the graduation, taking time from his book tour, her mother did not. Amber soon found herself back in Los Angeles, this time serving with the coast guard air station, putting in the six month build up training necessary before she could attend the Aviation Survival Technician (AST) "A" School, her eyes set on completing the training to be a rescue swimmer.
Lt. Amber Rossi, climbed on board the jayhawk waiting on the tarmac for take off. As the helicopter took off, Lt. Rossi and her fellow flight crew members were soon receiving a briefing on the situation they were flying into. The FV Blue Aqua had suffered a fire while in the middle of the Bering Sea. Despite their efforts to put the fire out, the crew of the Blue Aqua had been unsuccessful and the captain had sent out the may day for Coast Guard assistance. Not long after the first call, the captain had radioed again saying that the crew was abandoning ship. Now, the members of the flight crew that were headed out to their location were all that stood in the way of an icy burial at sea for the crew of the FV Blue Aqua.
"Approaching Blue Aqua's last know position," the pilot said over the radios they were all wearing. "Keep your eyes peeled for survivors in the water."
"Opening cabin doors," Petty Officer Dan Finney said from his position near the door.
The cabin door to the helicopter opened, and the roar of the passing wind filled the cabin. The three Coast Guard personnel in the back of the jayhawk trained their eyes on the passing waters below. All eyes looking downward, looking for any bodies in the ocean. A splash of yellow or orange in the otherwise blue waters. The crew of the Blue Aquas best chance was to have been able to get into the life raft. If they were actually in the cold waters of the Bering Sea, even in the survival suits, they had very little time.
"We've got smoke to the south west," Commander Lou Harris, the leader of the flight crew, said over the radio.
The pilot, Petty Officer Jake Conrad, maneuvered the helicopter to head in that direction. All other eyes in the helicopter continued to scan the waters below. They were lucky in that the waters of the Bering Sea were relatively calm this early morning. The task of abandoning the ship and getting the life raft deployed would have been easier for the crew than if the winds were blowing and the seas were heavy. Given enough time to abandon their ship, the chances of the crew getting to the life raft were better than if they were in bad weather.
Soon, the sinking vessel FV Blue Aqua could be seen. Smoke billowed out from the engine room, and the waves lapped the deck, already partially underwater. There was no chance of saving the vessel but until they found bodies saying otherwise, the Coat Guard personnel of Airstation Kodiak considered the crew still alive and knew that they were the only thing standing in between those fisherman and certain death.
"Got a visual on the life raft," Finney called out, following the words with the location of the said raft.
Lt. Rossi followed Finney's directions and soon had a visual herself on the life raft. Immediately, she started scanning the waters in the vicinity of the raft, looking for any survivors who might not have made it to the raft. She was just thinking that all of the crew might just have made it onto the raft when she noticed a speck of orange in the water between the sinking ship and the raft.
"We've got a straggler," she called to her crew mates. "About thirty feet from the life raft."
"Okay, prepare to deploy swimmer," Harris commanded. "We're rescuing the individual first and then moving on to the life raft. Rossi, once the victim is in the basket and we're lifting them to the copter head for the raft."
"Understood, Commander," Lt. Rossi said as she moved to the edge of the cabin, her fins, mask and snorkel in hand, as Conrad maneuvered the helicopter to a position above the individual in the ocean.
Once sitting on the edge, Rossi placed the swim fins on her feet. Next, she removed the radio headset, and handed it to Lt. Barlow on her left. On her right, Finney was bringing the hood of the survival suit up, and zipping and fastening the clasp. Donning the mask with the snorkel attached, Rossi signaled that she was ready.
"Rescue swimmer ready to deploy," Finney called out.
"Deploy rescue swimmer," Commander Harris ordered.
Taking one last deep breath, Rossi pushed herself off the edge of the helicopter cabin and plunged feet first to the frigid waters below. Her momentum took her beneath the waves of the Bering Sea, and she immediately began kicking upwards to regain the surface. It wasn't long before the Coast Guard lieutenant's head broke the surface, and looking up she immediately signaled to her crew that she was okay before starting for the victim not far away.
Now that she was in the water with him, she could tell that the survivor was slowly trying to make progress toward the life raft. Relief that they weren't going to be pulling a body from the ocean this time, flooded through her as Rossi closed the short distance between them.
"Man, am I glad to see you," the captain of the FV Blue Aqua told her as she reached his side. "The rest of my crew made it to the life raft. The engineer suffered burns trying to put out the fire."
"We'll get your crew just as soon as we get you to safety," Rossi assured him, as she signaled for the basket to be lowered.
Quickly and efficiently, she helped the fisherman into the basket. As those in the helicopter started hoisting him to safety, Lt. Rossi started to swim toward the life raft. Having heard the beating of the helicopters rotors, the fishermen inside had unzipped the flap of the raft and two faces were peering out. As she approached the raft, Amber saw the hope in those two faces. It was that look of hope in the eyes of those she rescued that made everything she had gone through to get to this point worth it.
AST "A" school wasn't easy for anyone. Only about half of those who start the six month training at an air station in preparation of going on to the rescue swimmer school in Elizabeth City, North Carolina even make it. The attrition rate for the school itself is high, sometimes reaching as high as eighty percent.
Amber Rossi had long ago lost track of the number of people who had told her she would never make it through the training. Female candidates had to meet the same physical requirements as their male counterparts, meaning that they had to work harder to meet those requirements. Few made it past the pre-conditioning at the air station. Those who did, seldom made it through the A school. Amber took and used all the people saying she wouldn't make it through and used it as fuel to keep going. At moments during the eighteen week rescue swimmer school, when she toyed with the idea of dropping out on request, she thought of all those people who doubted her and dug deeper to continue on.
Amber had been sent to Air Station Sitka following the completion of the month long Emergency Medical Technician training in Petaluma, California. Arriving in Alaska at the end of the September in 2004, Lt. Rossi had been serving in the northern most state of the United States for the past three years. She had served at Air Station Sitka for six months before she was transferred to Air Station Kodiak. It hadn't taken her long to earn the respect of the other Coast Guard personnel she served with. Her current flight crew had been together for the past eight months. Other than Commander Harris, none of them knew about her transfer yet and Amber knew she would have to soon find the time to break the news to them.
Grabbing onto the life raft, Rossi peered inside, taking assessment of the survivors. There were five of them, which accounted for the full compliment of the FV Blue Aqua. She immediately spotted the guy who must have been the engineer, as she noticed the burns to the right side of the man's face. As the survival suit was covering the rest of the body, she couldn't see if there was any other burns. Counting respirations, she noted they were higher than normal.
"We'll get all of you to safety, but we're going to lift your engineer out first," Rossi informed the fishermen. "I need you to help me by moving him toward the opening so I can get him into the basket when my crew members send it down."
The survivors replied in the affirmative, and began to do as their savior asked, as Rossi glanced up to see where her comrades were. The helicopter was now poised over her position. In the opening of the cabin she could see one of her crew mates, which though she couldn't make him out from here, she knew would be Finney, peering down at her. She signaled for him to lower the basket again.
Amber felt a sense of relief wash over her, as Petty Officer Jake Conrad touched the helicopter softly down on the tarmac back at Air Station Kodiak. The engineer's condition had deteriorated during the flight back to the air station. The Coast Guard personnel quickly helped transfer the man from the helicopter to the waiting gurney of the paramedics. Amber and her crew had done their job and now the man's fate was in the hands of the paramedics who would transfer him to the hospital, where the doctors and nurses would take over.
"Thank-you so much. You don't know how grateful I am for what you've done," One of the other fishermen said coming up to Amber, reaching out to give her a hug.
Over the three years of working up here and plucking people out of the Bering Sea and the Pacific Ocean, she had gotten use to the displays of gratitude from those they saved. It was a natural reaction and one that made the job worth doing.
"Just doing my job," she told the man, returning a quick hug.
As he turned and followed the rest of this crew and the paramedics to the waiting ambulances, Amber thought about the good she had been able to do. Because of all of their efforts, these men would get to go home to their families. She felt good about that, but at the same time she also felt a sense of loneliness. Doing this job didn't leave much room for family. It kept them away from parents, brothers, sisters and other family and friends. It also left little room for starting a family of your own. Yes, a few attempted and even fewer made it work. None of her flight crew had wives and even Finney's fiancé had just recently called off the engagement.
Up here, her flight crew was her family and though each and every one of them meant the world to her, she knew that deep down, she wanted something more. Maybe that want was part of the restless feeling she had been experiencing over the last few months. The change in her attitude about the job. She used to live and breathe this job and never doubted she wanted to be doing anything else. Now, she often wondered what else she was missing out on. Wondering if life could hold something more for her. Instead of looking forward to the next mission, she found herself thinking about family and friends she hadn't seen in awhile. Thinking about Spencer Reid and what they had once shared. More than once, she had wondered if the two of them could once again found what they had once shared.
Commander Harris had noticed the change in Amber too and had ordered a psychological evaluation. The result of that evaluation was that the psychologist had reported that she was showing early signs of burnout. It was the psychologist who had suggested a transfer to a less remote post. Suggested that she step away from working as a rescue swimmer for awhile.
The lack of resistance at this suggestion had surprised Amber at first. After all she had done to get to this point, she couldn't accept the fact that she was ready to just step away from it. Now, she found herself looking forward to the transfer to Station Washington. She would still be serving in the Coast Guard. Still making a difference, just doing that in a different way. The fact that she would be near her Dad made the idea more appealing, though she knew that with him back in the bureau they might still have trouble finding time to see one another. The same went for Spencer.
Even being closer together might not be enough for her and Spencer to work things out. Seven years ago, the course of their lives had brought them together. The two of them had made the unlikely couple but somehow, at that point and time, it had worked. Then that chapter of their lives ended. The two of them had headed in different directions as they reached for their dreams. Now it seemed as though life was leading their paths to cross once more. Despite the unknowns, she found herself looking forward to this next chapter in her life.
As Amber walked off the flight deck surrounded by her flight crew, she knew the only thing she was really going to miss were these guys. Once again she wondered how she was going to break the news of the transfer to them.