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Avuta'!
Following the Oscar sucess of"The Departed", and his recent entry into the MS13, James Cameron realized how powerful the mob life was, and wanted to reap the benefits right out of it! In the hip hop year of 2157, or as it was then referred to as, twenty UH, fidy se-en! In the year 20uh fidy se-en, the ship, or the, or da, da boat was ridin' in smooth to its destination to Panadoha! And ya, it's spelt with an exclamation mark. Panadoha, that's not right. It's Panadoha! Da boat was ridin' in smooth to its destination to Pandoha! And James Sully, or as he was called, and will be called! J. Sull, was stoked to be crashin' in a whole new crib.
"Whoa, this new pad is gonna be duh bomb!" Proclaimed J. from his chriogenitc sustaining pad, and was looking back to when the big man on campus of this operation layed the question on him. It was back on the earth pad, 'bout two weeks ago, and he was at his brother's cremation, or his blow out, and he never looked hotta! The leutenant asked him to take a road trip to this hot new pad, to pick up some ice and take it to da bank, because he had the same stuff as his twin bro Cameron, or the Big C, he said he was down! This was all goin' down while his bro was bein' chucked on to a bonfire, or hot spot, and the others were bustin' moves around the spot and heatin' puffy treats over it. As soon as his hallucintaion ended, da boat docked at the port of the new pad.
"Yo! Wake up bumbs!" Yelled the captain. "We here!"
"Bout f***in' time." Said J. The boat had left when he was thirty, and had been ridin' for fidy hizzles, so now he was floatin' eight biggies. He hopped on his ride, or his wheelchair, and sailed through the pad of the new pad, Pandoha! On his way to his crib, he went past the big cheese, Col. Jamesrich, who was layin' down the law that the crowd was here to hook some ice called Jamesdonium, and weren't gonna get squat but six billion James dollars, which wu'un much. But him, he wu'un takin' dat bull, sin he wad named afta the producer, Jamesrich said he was pullin' in his legs, his solid for real legs. Not some legs they jacked off some dead dude and sewed on you. They did that s***. At his crib, J. hooked up with a dude who was called Jamescameron Jamesery, a brodda a Camerons, he went down the trainin' road wid him, and was stoked for da biggy. It was then that Dr. James Augustine shuffled in, and everybody chucked all over da crib.
She slid over ta J. When he quit chuckin' she layed it down to him. "Yo! I don't need yo, I need yo brodda!" She banged his fist on her chest and flashed J. a peace sign.
"So'ai, he dead. He dropped when he tried to grab some fruit from a tree while ridin' his Pinto." Said J.
"Mother f***! We have the same call, but we nuttin' alike.
"Let's hit it James." Said Jamescameron.
"Hu?" Asked the two.
They then rode it over to their pads, and cruised on into their Jamesatars, which looked just like the bros on this pad. J. was then ridin' his Jamesatars, and he was lovin' it! "This is fawesome!" In the future, they combined the words f*** and awesome into one super work, fawesome! He then ran and threw and old dude outta his ride, and kicked a brodda off a cliff and chucked a pig into a glass pad, and took out 100 broddas. He digged his Jamesatar!
The day before two days later, the gang hauled it on into the James jungle of Pandoha! They were crashin' it there to pull some data and get familiar with the forest. "Alright, les dig some roots!" Yelled James as she took out her micro glasses and got da scoop on some roots. "Look at dis flow, is fawesome!"
While all that was goin' down, J. was sawin' down some plants, cause he didn't dig flowers. This showed him some super freaky rhino dudes. "Uh! James!" He screamed.
"Hu?" Said the two.
"J., run at it!" Yelled James.
"Aiy, haaa!" He ran at da beast, it backed, off! "Ha, you think yer the king of the jungle? Well I am! Mother f***, I'm fawesome!" It was then that a huge panther beast lunged at him.
"Ah! James!" Yelled James.
"What?" Said the two.
"Ah!" Screamed J. as he charged away from the beast and fell smack dab into the great James River.
After six hours of sliddin' in the forest, J. had an arrow made right at his skull by some babe, who lived on Pandoha! She was one of the Jamesvi', and her title was Jamestiri'. She pulled dad f***er in da bow, and was just about to let it loose when a jellyfish crashed smack dab on da arrow, which was queer, cause jellyfish crashed in da water, on the earth pad. "What da f*** is goin' on?"
Later, when J. was slaughtering some wolves fo supper when Jamestiri' sacked him, and tugged him on over to their pad, and it was hot. "Whoa, what is dis pad?" Asked J.
"Ma, dis is pad to all da Jamesvi'." Said Jamestiri'. "Dis here's Home Wall, where we all come to crash after a long day a bangin'!"
"Whoa, dey got bangin' all the way over here?"
"Damn straight!"
The queen a da Jamesvi', James'at strolled over ta J. and gave him da 4-11, or here, it was the 5-12, cause dey got one up on earth crashers. "Yo! Was yo name?" She damanded.
"Ma nays James Sully, but it get called called J. Sull, and I will be called that!" He yelled.
"Aiy, Jsull, we go'a lay it down fo yo all straight like yall follows, we hookin' you up! Goa teach yo how we bang it o' school he, and maybe, we let yo crash wid us, ya hear!"
"Aiy babe!" Yelled J.
"Yo! Wus up!" Yelled the king, Sa'lo.
"Whoa, is all cool Sa'lo!" Yelled James'at. "This mother goa crash wid us a while, goa get da 5-12, see if he down oh not, ya hear?"
"Ma I hea, he coo, is all good, peace!" He yelled as he banged his chest and left. The whole tribe cheered.
They all slid over to Home Wall, and leaned it up on da concrete. J. was lookin' up Jamestiri', and she snubbed him and pulled some leaf blanket over her. He did the same. Then he was back at his pad.
"J., J., slide back J.!" Yelled James. "Yo! J."
"Yo yo yo! Was up!" Said J. who had just slid back.
"Yo! J., da Jamesatar, it coo?" Asked Jamescameron.
"Ah, ah ya dog, you wouldn't believe, I make you out, cold, you on da floor, poundin', dis Jamesatar so hot, it o' fia, you don't even see it, it outta sight! Ya is crashin' o'a at their pad."
"Whoa, you straigh wid us, you straight dog?" Asked James.
"Ma, you ain't Ellenin' us ah you dog?" Asked Jamescameron.
"Na man, I straight, solid!" He yelled as he smacked up James, she dropped out! So J. slid back ova to da pad, and got the 5-12 on da Jamesvi', what dey chowed on, dey moves, even dey noise.
"Yo! Yo! Dis tree got mo leaves den ca's wid Leno! Yo, yo!" Rapped Sa'lo.
"Ya!" Yelled J. as he jammed along. He got all da ups on da newest bangin' and how to shoot an assault. He even got hooked up wid a new ride, a big, honked out dragon, and he banged up da sky so bad, it not even funny. Dis sky so banged up, da air bruised, need oxygen, dis air so banged, it not even see, no cornea, corniac arrest, arrested, booked, processed, hooked up in a cell arrested, dis air so banged. He pulled out all da stops on dis situation, he was da baddest banga in dis pad, he was so bad, he make satan look like a bunny, floppy ears, eats carrots, cute, dat satan, he bad, he Jersey Shore on dis pad! So, he ride it, three months, when Jamesrich slid on over ta his pad.
"Yo! Gotta shut dis down, you get back, to da earth pad, hook you up yo legs, straight up!"
"Na, na na na na. Na, I gotta finish dis mother, dere's dis party tonight, sounds pretty fawesome!"
"Aiy!" Said Jamesrich.
At da party, J. was gettin' let in ta da gang, and was diggin' it big time. "Yo! You in dis gang, so bad, straight, straight up, you up, you in space, you Apollo, you da sun, you Pluto, except you real, you ain't no rock, no not you, but you up, way up, telescope, you up! You in da gang!" Yelled Sa'lo.
"Ya!" Screamed da gang. Dey had da sickest frat party Pandoha eva seed, and it brought da house down!
Lata, at da big queery tree deal, J. and Jamestiri' was slidin' into da center. "Yo! Dis place, where our ancestors crash, yo, once dey dead!"
"Whoa, I see crashin' here, so hard!" Said J.
"You are O-M-a-G-13-aya now, you may make your bat from the blocks of Home Wall, and you may choose a bitch, we have many hot bitches, G-Nopt is best Rapper."
"Na I don't want G-Nopt."
"Jamestiri' den blew out one-a da jellyfish with a head band on it head. "Jay'lall is, good banga."
"Ya she is a good banga." Jamestiri' looked at J. with a worried look. "I've already chosen. But this bitch must also choose me."
"Ha ha, she already has."
The two started makin' out, big time, J. started drummin' on trash cans, and was rockin' out, pretty soon, dey ahd dat tree rockin' out wid dey trash drums and heavy make-outin'. Da next day, dey was out, sleepin', when some bros came and was sawin' up da tree, and J. went wack. "Yo! Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo!" He screamed as he banged up da guys and punched through the camera and into da guys eye.
"Uh! Yo!" Yelled da guy wid da guy.
Back at da pad, Jamesrich was freakin' out, and J. was tellin' it out straight. "Yo, yo can't go bangin' up pads, pad bangin' is out, 100%, pad bangin', 0%, 0, 0, yo, 0, yo!"
"Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma we gotta, ma, gotta ged dad ice, take out dat pad, move it, slide out, out a dat pad, straight up, yo!" Yelled Jamesrich.
J. was wackin', he straight up took da gang to get da oda gangs, and were all crashin', and dey were able to, cause everybody brung's dey own walls. Da next day, da earth padders pulled in, and neva saw what banged dem. It was J. and his gang! Dey got banged so hard, it not even funny, they banged like da air, need oxygen, we talkin' O, sixteen mass units, right off da table, dey smack dab on da periodics, dey not even see, corniac arrest, arrested, high security, straight up, set up in concrete cell, cell block, straight up, cell block, O! Dey banged so bad, dey gone, dey, 0%, straight up, dey outta sight, outta mind. Do lookin' in dey minds, dey not dey, out! So, J. went on to be head banga, and he and Jamestiri' crashed it up, bangin' up Pandoha, till sun go down, dey rule. "Fawesome!" Yelled da whole gang.
PEACE!
THE END