Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: Target practice... You should have specified the target a little more carefully...

A/N: Fluffy fun oneshot requested by Dreaminsapphire. Hope you enjoy it! This is part of my A Light in the Darkness universe, but can be read as a standalone. Slight spoilers for Shadowed and Revealed.

Target Practice

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

12 Quickening 1001

I should have said no that morning. I should have put my foot down and absolutely refused to participate in the exercise in futility I was currently stuck doing. I hated Oreius. He made me do it and refused to listen when I tried to protest. Oooh, that Kentauri was going to get it. Bhí mé ag dul a fháil ina seachadfar beart den dath agus a dath a athrú go rud éigin náirithe! Corcra...ar bith, bándearg! Oreius an Centaur Ginearálta bándearg! (I was going to find a batch of dye and change his color to something humiliating! Purple...no, pink! Oreius the pink Centaur General!)

"Dame Sepphora, I don't know why you are smiling when you've yet to accomplish your task."

Did I mention I hated Oreius that morning? And, he was way too fond of using my new title. Not sure why, it wasn't like I listened to him anymore than I did before I was knighted. I sighed as I looked over my left shoulder at him, "Well, everyone else is laughing at me. Why shouldn't I join in?"

He smirked (I was going to hit him if he got close enough), "Because you're supposed to be trying to hit something."

I scoffed, "Please, I have hit everything!"

"Except the target, Kat."

I glared at where Edmund was sitting on the ground with his siblings. Why the Royals were out here watching me fail miserably at the new exercise Oreius had decided to add to my training instead of doing something else was beyond me. Okay, so I knew exactly why they had stuck around most of the morning and then came back this afternoon when they realized I was still out here. "Don't you four have court or something else you can do?"

Susan and Lucy both smiled and shook their heads, while Peter and Edmund smirked, "No."

I hated them all. Lucy looked up at me with those big blue eyes and innocently asked, "Are you going to try again, Kat?"

I brushed some hair out of my face then nodded, "I suppose I am...especially since these two won't let me leave unless I hit a target." Lucy giggled as I gestured to Oreius and Alithia, who had taken over for the other archer who had been trying to help me hit the stinking target all morning before she threw her hands up and declared me to have the worst hand with a bow she had ever seen. She had been surprisingly uptight for a Maple Dryad (yes, I deny being responsible for any of that uptightness). I mean it could have been worse...sort of...a little...maybe... Okay, so the fact that every single arrow I had loosed thus far had hit everything except the target was about as appallingly bad as it could get without shooting someone...accidentally of course...except maybe Oreius.

I nocked another arrow and drew the string back until the fletching was even first with the corner of my mouth then with my ear. I aimed just above the target and released. My arrow flew straight...over the target and buried itself in the grass beyond. Oh come on! I lowered the bow and ignoring the laughter from the four nuisances in the corner, I looked at Alithia who was frowning at the archery range. I followed her gaze and wondered if Aslan might be so kind as to let this last attempt actually be the last attempt. I mean, so far my arrows had literally hit everything but the target as in there were arrows sticking out of the ground with their red fletching glaringly obvious to the left of the target, to the right of the target, behind the target, in the bushes thirty feet beyond the target, sticking out of the water barrels behind the bushes behind the target, and I had sent three arrows into the mortar of the wall framing the far side of this particular archery range.

I shook my head, "I'm done. I don't see how this could possibly get better and I've already thought how it could get worse." I paused then gestured to where the few remaining archers had gathered in front of the last five targets out of the thirty targets on the range (I was aiming at the first target on the northern side of the range), "Which they have also clearly thought of, not that I blame them. So, may we end this round of torment now?"

Oreius looked at me and I knew the evil Kentauri wasn't going to let me off yet. "Just hit the target in the rings once and then you can stop."

On the off chance, Alithia would be willing to help me defy Oreius, I turned to her, quietly begging her to help me out. It didn't work. Alithia shrugged, "You skimmed the top of the target this last time, I think if you adjust your aim once more, you'll be able to hit inside the rings."

I had the sudden urge to hit something...like Oreius because the whole thing was his fault anyway. I had been skimming the target since seventh hour that morning...I had been adjusting my aim "once more" since about that time too...I was not amused. However, before I could act on the little voice telling me hitting Oreius would be worth any consequences he threw at me, Susan appeared at my elbow. She quietly offered me her bow, the gift from Father Christmas, "Maybe this will help you."

I nodded my thanks then grabbed another arrow and once again went through what was now a very monotonous and annoying routine of nock, aim, draw, aim, release. My arrow flew straight then it dipped at just the right time and it hit the target...in the right leg. Unbelievable. Edmund and Peter were nearly rolling on the ground, that's how hard they were laughing. Susan and Lucy were trying not to do the same, but the giggles spilling out from behind their hands gave them away. Oreius and Alithia were both struggling not to join the royals in their laughter. I sighed, "All right, so it's safe to say that I am really, really, really terrible at archery. Can I stop now that I hit the target?"

Oreius gave me an amused look, "No. Try again."

I couldn't help myself...I had to argue, "But, Oreius, I hit the target!"

"In the leg. You still haven't hit the target in the rings where it counts, Sepphora. Try again."

Edmund stopped laughing long enough to exclaim, "Oh, Kat, your target has a gimpy leg now. At least we'll know who you shot, all the ones with arrows in their knees!"

They all started laughing at that and I muttered under my breath, "Is fuath liom tú go léir. Agus, a cheap tú a bhfuil gruaig oráiste a bhí droch...ach fan, nuair is é seo níos mó ná Measaim go bhféadfadh liom lí do chuid gruaige arís. Sea, is féidir liom é a fheiceáil anois...gach trí cinn de tú le gruaig bándearg geal. Ó, fuair mé díreach tar éis mo smaoinimh sásta nua." (I hate you all. And, you thought having orange hair was bad...just wait, when this is over I think I might dye your hair again. Yes, I can see it now...all three of you with bright pink hair. Oh, I just found my new happy thought)

I quickly smothered the urge to laugh at the mental image I had conjured of Oreius, Peter, and Edmund with their hair dyed a bright pink that would make Barbie envious. Alithia had regained her composure the fastest and she gave me a measuring look. "Normally, I never suggest this particular method. However, given the circumstances, perhaps if you visualized someone you would have no qualms shooting in place of the target, you will hit inside the rings this time."

Guess who I was visualizing as I nocked another arrow and used Susan's bow for the second time. I think it worked because I hit inside the rings...it just wasn't the target in front of me. There was utter silence as we all stared in disbelief at what I had done. They looked at me, then they looked at the target, then they looked back at me. I lowered Susan's bow and just started laughing. I couldn't help myself, they looked down right gobsmacked and it took almost two full minutes before Edmund managed to voice the question they were all thinking, "Kat, how did you do that?"

I shrugged as I gained control over my laughter, "I have no idea, but I did what was required, and I'm done now."

I walked past Oreius who was still staring at the target in silence; in fact, he didn't say anything until I had returned the bow to Susan. "And, why do you think you've completed your task, Dame Sepphora?"

I smirked then pointed at the target, "You said hit the target inside the rings, I hit the target inside the first ring."

"You hit inside the first ring of the target two down from the one in front of you!"

I looked up at him and propped my hands on my hips as I retorted, "You said hit the target, you never said that I absolutely had to hit inside the rings of the target right in front of me. I have no idea how I managed to do that, by the way, but I think it counts as fulfillment of the task you gave me, Kentauri."

He looked down at me in silence for several minutes before he spoke, "Dame Sepphora, I had intended for you to be able to defend yourself at a distance and to hit targets that are in front of you. However, taking into account everything you have done today, I have decided it would be better if you did not make another attempt at archery because you are a true menace to everyone around you when you have a bow in your hands. And, you still haven't hit the target directly in front of you."

I glanced at the archery range and all those arrows (and these were just from that afternoon) sticking out of things other than my assigned target. I hated to admit it, but Oreius was right. I should not be given a bow if they wanted precision...or to live without being Swiss cheese and shish kabob imitators. However, my not hitting the assigned target seemed to be part of Oreius' reluctance in allowing me to leave, so... I leaned down, pulled out my boot knife, and threw it. I turned to Oreius and grinned, "There I hit the target inside the rings and it's even a bull's-eye. I'm done now."

He rolled his eyes then nodded his acquiescence before I went to retrieve my knife. The blade had sunk a good two inches into the target, not bad if I do say so myself. Finally leaving the archery range, I glanced at Oreius. "Considering the fact that I have more than enough skill with knives, swords, and hand-to-hand combat, the whole not being any good at archery thing doesn't bother me. So, why did you insist I try and try and try and try and try...and try?"

He shrugged, "I had my reasons."

I scowled, "This was just so you could torment me for the day, wasn't it?"

"No." I was not convinced.

I pointed at him, "I'm going to get you back for making me do that, Kentauri."

"After you get back from patrol you mean?"

Oh, that's right, I was supposed to go on my first patrol this next week. "Yes. And, why do I have to go on the patrol to Glasswater? Ardon said it has been boring for the past eight months."

He didn't even bother to pretend he didn't know I was going to be bored to death on the patrol. "You are going because you need to learn the rest of the duties that accompany your knighthood, which makes you an official member of the Narnian Army. Captain Cletus is leading the patrol and you shouldn't run into any trouble in Glasswater. Checking on the Weavers' Guildhouse there is something else you can do."

I rolled my eyes, "So, you kept me out here all day to see if my endurance was really back where you wanted it to be before I leave with the patrol on Firstday. Target practice is a weird way to do that, Kentauri. Besides, I'm sure nothing interesting is going to happen on the patrol or so you hope, right?"

Oreius smirked, "Katerina Alambiel, you always make things interesting. However, I would appreciate it if you managed to stay out of trouble while on patrol. Surely, you can do that much."

I smiled, "Of course, I mean what could possibly happen on a patrol to Glasswater?"

ӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁӁ

A/N: Please Read and Review! So, this would be why Katerina is not really encouraged or allowed to be an archer. Hope you enjoyed this light diversion. Leave a review below and let me know what you thought about it and if you have any requests or suggestions let me know in your review or via PM.