Defender, By The Grinning Psychopath.
Summery.
Jo falls into a coma and it doesn't look promising. Can Dean find a way to bring her back? Or does he spend the rest of his life wishing he had told her he loved her?
Disclaimer i do not own, Supernatural. lyrics, by Cruxshadows, from the song Defender.
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Partly betawritten, by Film Princess.. summery provided by Film Princess, cause i suck at them. also partly betawritten by AmyLee22, big thanks to those girls.
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By Vigil's light, this night to keep, watching eyes fall over her, moments lost, fragments unseen, but I will still be here.
I watched over the prone body, of Jo… watched her small chest rise and fall, watched her wanting more than anything else, than to take back all that lost time between us, all those lost moments in which, I could have said so much to her, done so much… told her that I loved her, how I could have showed her how much I loved her…
All that time, wasted on one nighters, and on my unappreciative family.
They say, this cause is lost, that she will not return to me, they say that she is gone, and this is just a shell unliving.
I had been there, when the doctors pronounced her comatose, and not very likely to recover… I had been there, heard them myself, but I refused to believe them, believe that the woman I loved, was gone forever, and not likely to return, that I would never really be able to tell her how much I loved her, and how stupid I had been to not call her, when Sam went after her.
And through the dark of the morning, she fades but I will not leave here, fight back the demons around us, love lives and will defend her.
Demon hitmen came, and I fought them, I put salt down by all the doors and windows, and around her bed, and when the orderlies ordered me away, when visiting hours past, I snuck back in, and watched over her with a shotgun, and Ruby's knife.
I told her I loved her, every hour, told her how much, and how long I had loved her, and how much I wished I could turn back the clock so I could take back all those moments I'd had with other women, and give them unto her. I told her this, every hour, of every day I was there.
By dancing light, alone in the darkness, my eyes play tricks with the shadows, prayers for miracles seem to pass unheard, but i am with her still.
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6 weeks passed, Sam, Bobby, Ellen, and Castiel, ran around the world trying to stop the Apocalypse, trying to find a way to defeat the Devil. I sat alone in darkness, with Jo, shotgun in my arms, I told of my love for her once more, and squeezed her hand… and I thought just for an instant… that maybe I saw her lips curl upwards in a sweet loving smile… I blinked, and just like that the moment was gone, and I sat there alone, hurt. I put it off as just a trick of my distressed mind, playing tricks with the shadows, and for the first time in my life… I actually prayed that I was mistaken.
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And through each moment believing, she knows that I will not leave her, one life held fast to another love lives and I will defend her.
Lay there, motionless, happily deluding myself, that the hand holding mine, and the voice filling my head, was Dean's, I'd been hearing and feeling it for 2 weeks now I think, but I knew it wasn't him it couldn't be… there was no way he'd leave his brother for me, no way he'd profess his love for me, not like this anyway… no it was most likely my mother, holding my hand now, talking to me every day, and my mind just twisting her voice around, and even her words to where they became his…
It was saddening, but then as the buddist said, ever so often, life is suffering.
I held fast to his words, let myself believe at least for a time, that they did indeed originate from Dean Judas Winchester, and not from my own tortured soul trying to compensate for my unrequited love for him.
And so, I slept on… thinking, dreaming… and delusional. Letting my illusion of a defender, watch over me, and care for me the way the real Dean Winchester never had before. Knowing he would never leave my side.
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And through the Dark of the morning, she fades but will not leave here. fight back the demons around us, love lives and i will defend her.
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2 more weeks went on, 2 more weeks in which, several more times in the dead of night, Joanna Beth Harvelle slept, and I stood watch over her, held her hand, and fought off all demons and vampires who came meaning her harm.
And then, she came.
I slept, my head resting on my dear Jo's stomach, in the middle of the day, after once more having snuck out before the nurses and orderlies, returned, and back in when visiting hours came.
And I dreamed… and in the dream, for some reason… I saw Ruby, looking just as I had last seen her, before I stabbed her with her own knife.
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"Hey there, Deano, long time no see, I'd say its nice to see you, but I'd be lying, you leprous jar of Camel snot."
I grinned fakely, and said, "Ruby, nice to see you, Hell's treating you well I see, how's the ninth circle or whatever number that one is that's saved up for those who betray their friends." that last part came out as a growl, and I reached for the knife at my side, but was surprised when it wasn't there.
Ruby held up the bone handled serrated blade, and smirked, "Looking for this lover boy? And it is the ninth, but I'll have you know, that I'm not in hell right now… nope, I'm actually inside this thing, you see me and this blade, are linked, my soul is tied down to this dagger here, and the only way I'm going back to hell, is if you destroy this thing here… now I'm here to offer you up a deal Deano."
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"Don't call me Deano, and what kind of Deal?" I asked suspiciously, "I mean, what the hell could you possibly have that I want, your dead, and this is just a dream, and even if it isn't I'm now thinking of finding some heavy duty ritual to destroy this here pigsticker."
Ruby took in a deep breath, which I couldn't help noticing, made her breasts stick out just a bit, which as a result revealed to me, that she wasn't wearing a bra… sure Ruby might not ever win any competitions where breast size was concerned, but she was curvy I'd give her that much… very, very curvy, particularly in the chest. "I can give you Jo back, Dean… not a shell with me or somebody else in it, not a zombie, not a revenant… a 100 percent pure blooded human being, all damage repaired, no repercussions for her to pay afterwards."
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I stared at her, and thought a long couple moments, about what Ruby proposed, I knew first hand, what a demon was capable of, knew that it was at least possible that what Ruby offered… but at what cost?
"Whats the price?" I asked, my suspicion back a thousand fold, not that it had really gone to begin with.
Ruby smiled, and tossed the dagger back over to me, "I need you to bring me back, Dean…"
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And through each moment believing, she knows that I will not leave her, one life held fast to another, love lives and I will defend her.
I was happily deluding myself, that the head on my stomach, wasn't Ellen's but Dean's, and happily deluding myself, that the hair I weakly stroked, were the gelled dark brown spikes of Dean's hair, and not the shoulder length chestnut brown curls of my mother.
When tragedy struck, and despair filled me.
Suddenly, the head was gone… and I heard words whispered into my ear, "I'm sorry Jo… I'm so, so sorry, but I have to go now, I'm not sure I'll be back… I mean I'll come back if I can… but there's a, a very good chance, that I'm going to die doing this… in any case, I just wanted to say once more that… I love you, and I wish you were actually awake to hear me say those words, wish I'd said them sooner, wish I hadn't been such an idiot, and had just called you back the way I said I would, when that thing with Meg and Sam happened… I'm sorry… and I love you.
I felt lips press themselves to my forehead, and then another softer… slower kiss on my lips…
Lips that felt an awful lot like Dean Winchester's lips.
And then, he or she… left, just like that… just like he had done so many times before. And I settled down in the darkness, and waited for my imaginary man to come back… as per usual.
There is no fact, that cannot be challenged, no course of fate we cannot repair. The means to an end is in the beginning. Strength to endure, comes out of despair.
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I stared around at the clearing, and then back down at the dagger in my hands… down at the blood that coated the blade, and into the runes carved into the blade and the bone handle.
I had a choice here, I could find Bobby, tell him about the dream, and find some way of either exorcising or destroying the stupid dagger… or I could go on with the ritual Ruby had forced me to memorize, and bring the bitch who had caused this great big mess to start with, and possibly… bring back the love of my life, Joanna Beth Harvelle.
I large part of me, wanted to do the former, and get rid of Ruby for good… but a much, much larger part of me, far more dominant part, wanted my Jo back… no matter what the cost was.
So I looked down, at the words, over at the pyre I'd built around what remained of Ruby's old body, that I could find… and slowly, in a loud precise voice, announced the words.
I waited for a long moment, after I had found each word, and practically screamed it out loud.
Nothing happened… I spent a long couple minutes, just waiting, and waiting… and just for the hell of it waiting some more. It wasn't until finally, just about when I was gonna curse Ruby, and write what happened off as a stupid dream, my cruel subconscious had dug up, to get my hopes up, and then, it happened.
The orange flames, turned scarlet, with hellfire, sulpher filled the air, and suddenly… suddenly the flames shot upward, whirrled around in the air, caved in on itself, built back up again to a large bubble… that even without having the benefit of being psychic like Pamela or my brother, I knew was going to explode.
And I was just turned about half way around, when it did explode.
The concussion from the blast, lifted me off my feet, and threw me across the clearing, through many dead branches, tearing at my arms back legs and all the rest of my body, before I finally fell, down to earth… with many, MANY regrets.
When my hearing had returned somewhat, the small fire on the sleeve of my leather jacket, had burned itself out, burning parts of my hand extremely badly, and filling my world with pain, pain of which I really just couldn't find the breath in my body to give a damn about.
I turned over, onto my side, got onto my hands and knees, and vomited… after that, I got to my feet, removed the few charred remains of my left eyebrow, plucked 2 or 3 of the equally charred hairs on the side of my head, off, I looked down at my left arm, and tried to get it to move… it wasn't talking to me.
I knew the odds weren't good against my not having a broken arm, seeing as 2 branches had collided with it, on the way down to the ground, where it had then experienced the full weight of my compact body coming down on it… but still had hope.
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I strolled back, over to where the clearing was, and stared down at the remains of the few flickering flames of the fire I'd spent over 4 and a half hours preparing.
And cursed, before kicking out, against a few remaining embers. "Damn that Ruby!"
"That's, not very nice, swearing at the girl that's going to save your girlfriend is it?" Ruby laughed.
I spun around, and stared… there stood Ruby, as curvaceous, and Hispanic as she had been in life, eyes twinkling with a playful sorta amusement.
I grunted, "You could have warned me that was going to happen!" I snarled, and she giggled, "And where would the fun be in that? I mean after all, you did kill me, and all, I do need some payback you know."
I had to conceid, at leas tin the privacy of my own head, that she did have point there. I growled at her, "Look lets just get this over with okay, or your going right back inside this stupid dagger of yours, okay."
She shrugged, "Okay, suit yourself lover boy." she stepped up to me, placing one booted foot ontop of mine, and wrapped her arms around me, being careful to go under my broken arm.
And she kissed me, and instantly, I felt every single bit of damage, in my body, repair itself, in less than a second. I didn't know how long it had to go on for, so I just let her kiss me even after the bittersweet numb sensation in my mouth had passed, and the stench of sulpher had gone from the air.
She pulled back, and smiled up at me, "Your lips are soft, and you taste like mint chocolate."
"Yeah, well you taste like traitorous bitch, with an undertone of rotten eggs, and I'm gonna kill you later first chance I get!" I snarked.
She rolled her eyes, before turning her back on me, and walking away, and towards the Impala. "Come on lets go, and fix that girlfriend of yours all up nice and proper."
I stared at her, my mouth open, before chasing after her, reaching up, and twisting her around to face me again, "Wait a minute! I thought you did fix Jo, I mean, that kiss back there, You, we!"
She smirked, "Yeah, that was just a kiss sweetheart, to fix you up, and just plain out for the hell of it, you really are good looking you know that."
I glared at her, before falling her to the Impala, muttering dire imprecations on her head the whole way.
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And through each moment believing, she knows that I will not leave her, One life held fast to another, love lives and I will defend her.
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I waited in the darkness, the barrier between me, and that never ending darkness, that as always threatened to engulf me, like a raging fire, now thinner than ever before.
And then, I heard them, or him to be precise, I heard Dean Winchester, and another voice, a woman's voice, one that sounded awfully familiar, but I couldn't place it… I knew they were arguing, but weariness, and the darkness were heavy upon my consciousness, and I couldn't make out the words.
And then, I heard him, clear as day, in my ear. "I am so Sorry about this Jo, but… but I just can't live without you, sorry." I felt his lips press against my cheek.
I wanted to ask him, what he was sorry for, but as all the times before, I just couldn't manage it, that darkness, weighing me down, refusing to let me go.
And then, I felt it… felt the soft, feminine lips against mine, felt a long, nice feeling tongue, slip between my teeth, and into my mouth… and then I felt fire… smelled the awful familiar stench in the air, of rotten eggs, that I knew to be sulpher, and suddenly my throat felt like it was on fire, my whole body felt like it was on fire.
I strained, against the fire that burned so fiercely inside my body, and in my very blood.
And then, the fire was gone, and the lips separated from mine… and I opened my eyes.
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My heart, practically leapt from my chest, and up into my throat. as i watched, Jo convulse and writhe under Ruby, as Ruby pressed both hands to either side of Jo's delicate face, to hold them together. i wanted to yank Ruby away from her, to thrust the dagger between Ruby's shoulderblades, and through into her heart. But i quite honestly didn't have a clue how long the kiss should go on, and if i ripped her away from Jo, before time, what could happen to Jo? so chewing the skin away from my knuckles, i waited by her side, alternating between glaring at Ruby's back, and sending apologetic looks to Jo.
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And then, when Ruby finally pulled away. Joanna Beth Harvelle, went still. and just lay there, as silent as the grave itself.
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Ruby, took a few faltering steps back, catching herself on my shoulder as she fell. she breathed in a few deep heavy breaths, and looked up at me, through dark glowing mahogany eyes.. "IT is done!" she growled, low and dangerous.
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and then Just like that, Jo Harvelle opened her eyes, and locked her gaze upon me. i went completely still under those perfect emerald orbs. i could feel myself, dropping away, losing myself in the wild, untamable, passionate sea, that was Jo Harvelle's soul.
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Jo, coughed softly, and looked up at me, her eyes suddenly sparkling, with tears, and pain. "Dean?" she croaked, and i froze, at the sound of her voice, it was dry husky, with some of that same old tinkle in it, oh god, how i had missed that voice. " Dean, what are you doing here?"
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she asked, softly. and i couldn't contain my exuberance any more. i leapt forward, and hugged, Joanna Beth Harvelle, to me. i breathed in her familiar sweet fragrance. i mix of Molasses, from all the whiskey she had grown up around, and cherries, and maybe a few green apples. it was glorious, and i don't think i'd ever smelled anything, so invigorating.
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and then, i pulled back, and i kissed her... long, tender, and passionately on the lips... and just for a second she kissed back, and then she squeaked, and pulled away, looking up at me with wide eyes. "I love you..." i breathed, gazing down into the endless expanse of green, that was her eyes.
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"Dean," she whispered, staring up at me, reaching up with one trembling hand, to stroke the side of my face, "Dean is this real?" i nodded, feeling tears trickle down my face, as i stared into her gorgeous green eyes. i kissed her again, before pulling her tightly to myself, and burying my nose, deep into her pale blond hair, and taking in a deep breath of it, it was absolutely soaked in that incredible aroma.
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i saw a flash of movement, and looked up to see Ruby, walking on silently by, she looked back at me, her eyes having returned to their former shade of deep hazel, and smiled. waving a little. i hesitantly waved back at her, and silently mouthed the words, "Thank you." she rolled her eyes smiling a bit, before nodding, turning around and walking away.
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Epilogue.
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Me and Jo walked through the dark, cold cemetery. It had been a few weeks since Jo's sudden and miraculous recovery. The only person who truly knew the truth was me and Ruby and I planned on keeping it that way.
As the passed by several graves, Jo was would always stop and look down, "Its sad isn't it?" She said as she looked down at a small grave.
"Whats sad?" I asked her.
"How we as humans are forced to stand by and watch our loved one be killed of one by one and most of the time there is no way of stopping it. Makes you wonder who is next."
"There is no reason to be scared Jo. I would never let anything happen to you. I promise." I said and Jo turned around and looking at me with sad green eyes, "maybe that is what scares me Dean."
"Why does that scare you Jo?" I asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
"Dean what happened with me? I mean I was dead. I could feel myself letting go and them somehow I was brought back. I remember seeing a woman in my room that I have never seen before. Who was she Dean and be honest."
"Maybe she was like a guardian angel."
"I'm serious Dean. Did you make a deal or something to save me?"
I looked into her worried eyes and for a split second wanted to come clean with her about everything but I couldn't, "Jo I would never do that because I would never hurt you like that."
"Promise?"
"I promise Jo." I assured her. Jo smiled up at me and moved forward. She wrapped her arms around me as i did the same. we stood there in for what seemed like an eternity before something in the shadows caught my eye. My eyes moved up and there was Ruby standing in the darkness waving at me. Part of me was screaming to go kill her and send her back to hell. I knew that one day I would owe her. I just didn't know when but that didn't matter to me. What mattered now in this moment was that I had Jo.
Jo pulled away from me and looked into my eyes, "is everything ok?"
"Never better. Maybe we should head back." I said.
"Yeah. Its freezing out here." She said. Just as she turned away from me, i grabbed her arm and pulled her once again against my strong body, "I think I know the perfect way to warm you up." i said with a cocky grin spreading on my face.
"Is that so?"
"Oh yeah and I saw a nice motel about 5 miles back, has those magic fingers i was telling you about. What do you say?"
"I say what the hell are we still doing here." Jo reached up and pulled me down to her lips.
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And through, the dark of the morning, she fades but i will not leave here, fight back the demons around us, love lives and i will defend her. and through each moment believing, she knows that i will not leave her, one life held fast to another love lives and i will defend her...
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Love lives, and i will defend her!
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kay, so what did you guys think? its pretty much my only semi successful attempt, at a respectful fic. and to be honest it was sorta.. new, to me, really, really strange writing it. please Review!