Secrets and Makeovers By:



A/N: Pre-LotR

"What do you want to do?" Diamond moaned, her brown hair waving as she collapsed on the Cotton's sofa.

"Ya!" Estella agreed, "We ran out of things to do hours ago!" The three girls, Rosie, Diamond, and Estella were at a slumber party hosted (of course) by Rosie Cotton.

"Well," Rose said, her pink lips pursed in thought, "we could always." She trailed off, her mind blank of ideas.

"I know!" Diamond cried. "I know, I know, I know!"

"What?" Estella and Rose said in unison, making the hobbit from Long-Cleeve giggle in response to her friends' eagerness. "Well. we can talk about. BOYS!!!"

"Is that all you ever think about, Diamond? Boys?" Estella giggled, her light brown hair shaking. "Well of course not. And does anybody else have a better idea?" At the other girls' blank expressions, the girl said, "I rest my case."

"Okay," Rosie said, "at the count of three, we have to say who we like. One. two. three." * * * Meanwhile, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were smuggled into the Cotton house by Jolly, Rose's mischievously perky brother.

"Alright," Jolly explained, "The girls are in the living room. If you'll just press your ear against the door like so. you can hear everything the lovely ladies are saying."

The three hobbits rushed forward and crushed their pointed ears to the door, where they heard the girls shriek out their names, much to their everlasting amazement and joy. * * * "Ewwww! Estella, you like Merry? That's disgusting!" Diamond shrieked, her tongue out in a grimace.

"Well at least I don't like Pippin, Diamond!" Estella countered, her eyes widening in amazement. Both the hobbit girls looked at Rosie and said together, "And you like SAM!!!"

"Well, yes," Rose answered calmly, "What's the matter with that?"

"Everything!" Diamond said as she sat down and smoothed her tousled hair. "I mean you're the belle of Hobbiton and you like a GARDENER?"

"Yes, that's one of the things I like about him: his love for flowers."

Outside, Sam blushed scarlet, a goofy grin on his red face.

"Well, Estella, tell us what you like about Merry!" Diamond pleaded, her violet eyes wide with anticipation.

"Ummmmm, I don't really actually know. He's really nice to me and he's so adventurous. I mean, *I* could never steal from Farmer Maggot like that. I'd be too scared. He's so courageous. And he always has that cute confused look on his face." Estella attempted to mimic the look, but failed and continued, "Plus, he's just hot!"

There was a coughing from Diamond's end of the couch, and in it was audibly heard, "That's (cough) what you think (cough)!"

Estella glared at Diamond, who was smiling innocently, and gave her a light whack. "Well, Diamond, it's your turn. Rose and me are just dying to know about what you find in Pippin."

Diamond patted her skirt primly. "He's just so funny. And I'm sure his life is never boring. If I married him, I'd never have nothing to do. It's impossible! And he's just so cute! That grin of his just makes my heart melt like ice in August!" Pippin smiled happily in the hallway, several mushrooms crammed in his mouth.

"Plus, he loves to eat, and so do I!" Diamond finished, clapping her hands in delight.

"Err, Diamond," Rosie said, her hand on her stomach to stifle the laughter that threatened to explode from her. "Uh, no offense, but. that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard." The laughter came out all at once, and Estella and Rose stated giggling hysterically. When they had finally stopped chuckling Diamond pouted and shot back, "Well, we'll just see how good your reasons for liking a gardener are."

Samwise frowned in the hall, his lips stuck out in an insane pout. Merry stifled a chuckle at the weird look and poked Sam hard in his stomach. Sam, infuriated, poked Merry back, who fell on top of a mushroom chomping Pip. Pippin glared at Merry and socked him. Hard. Right on the nose. It all resulted in a noisy tussle between the hobbits.

Meanwhile, back in the room, Rosie puckered her lips in thought. All of a sudden, there was a loud bang on the door. "Dern it, Jolly! Mum told you not to bother me and my friends!" She stomped over to the door, followed by Diamond and Estella, all of them in their nightgowns. Rose the door and jerked it open roughly, but froze at the sight she saw.

There were Merry, Pippin, and Sam, rolling around on the ground like wild dogs. "What is it, Rose?" Diamond asked impatiently, pushing the stunned hobbit out of the way gently, Estella following suit. Their faces drained of color as the girls saw their objects of affection outside the room.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" The girls screamed in dismay, the paleness of their shock replaced by the bright red of embarrassment. The males on the ground froze. It was a rather funny sight. Sam had Merry by the hair, poised to blow a punch, and Merry had Pip by the ankle, the latter scrambling for escape from the wrath of his cousin.

The youngest boy looked up at the seemingly towering and blinked dumbly. "Uh. I don't suppose we'll get in trouble for this, right?"

"Oh no." Diamond said as she and the other girls walked to the dresser and wielded lipstick. "I beg to differ."

She and the others grinned horribly, and the boys screamed in utter and complete horror. * * * Half an hour later, the boys had "transformed into lovely young ladies," as Estella laughingly put it. Each had on a lovely dress; Sam in blue, Merry in a charming apple green, and Pippin in luscious lavender. (No, not the purple!) "It really compliments them, don't you think?" Rose asked the others as she applied blush to the tied up Sam.

After the "transformation" was over the females led their poor prisoners up to Bag End. Rosie rapped on the door, which was soon answered by a groggy looking Frodo. "Excuse me, Mr. Baggins, but I have some new friends that I know you'll just love to meet."

Frodo stifled the laughter that erupted as he saw his three bewigged friends. Each was wearing a dress over their soiled clothing. All were wearing a disgruntled frown, and Sam made the insane pout that had led to their discovery, folding his arms in complete embarrassment. Frodo burst out in chuckles, clutching his stomach as he collapsed in complete merriment.

As he recovered, he said, "Well, fellows. you can't say I didn't warn you."

To which the other males could only smirk at.

The End