WARNING! The following fanfic refers to drinking, gambling, violence, and sexual preferences that some may find objectionable. IF at any time you are offended by what you read, we would like you to keep in mind these three words: We warned you.
(Also, we ask that you read the Author's Note at the end of the story. Arigatou!)
YAHIKO'S BIRTHDAYBy Weasel Girl-sama, and some of her loyal, if crazy, assistants. .
Megumi paced through the dojo, looking about her as she walked. Where is he? she wondered to herself. She noticed Kenshin sitting and watching Yahiko and Kaoru train. She went and sat down next to him.
"Where's Sano?" Megumi asked, glancing over at Kenshin. "He's been gone awhile."
"Sano? He's out gambling," replied Kenshin, not taking his eyes from Yahiko.
"Nope, I'm back" came Sanosuke's voice from behind them. Megumi turned to look at him. Sano had a bottle in one hand and a long, thin package in the other.
"Today was my lucky day," he said with a grin. He held the bottle up. "Sake for everyone! Too bad Hiko isn't around." He passed the bottle to Megumi and tossed the package to Yahiko. "Happy birthday, kid."
Yahiko tore the packaging off, while Megumi left to find cups. Kenshin, however, eyed the bottle apprehensively.
"Umm… Sano?"
"Eh?"
"This one… uh…can't really hold his liquor very well…"
This was interrupted by a yell from Yahiko.
"Cool! A sword!"
Kaoru leaned toward Sano as Megumi returned with the cups.
"A sword? You got him a sword! she hissed.
"And…? He's training to use one anyway. Might as well have one, right?"
Sano reached for the sake bottle and a cup.
" If you aren't going to drink this…"
Some time later, everyone (except Yahiko) had had a "few" cups of sake and the bottle was nearly empty. Sano stood up.
"I'll go get more. We can't run out halfway through the party!" he said with a grin and left. Yahiko had disappeared, most likely slashing something or other with his new sword. Megumi had taken the sake bottle and gone. Kaoru and Kenshin were alone and somewhat drunk, Kaoru's kimono was sliding off her shoulder.
"You aren't going to leave, are you? asked Kaoru, her eyes slightly unfocused.
"Oro?"
"I don't want to be alone again."
"But Kaoru… even if this one did leave, there's Megumi, and Yahiko, and Sano…"
"That's not what I mean. I love you and I don't want you to leave."
"Uhh… that puts this one in a rather awkward situation. You see, this one loves someone else…"
"What? Who? Wait… its Megumi, isn't it? That's it, into the street she goes! Where is she?"
"No! Wait! It isn't Megumi at all! You don't understand! This one doesn't love Megumi! The one this one loves is…"
Yahiko had turned around when he heard Kaoru cry out. He rushed back to where the others had been drinking sake. He came upon Kaoru with Kenshin. They were alone. Kaoru was shaking her head and crying, "No, no, no!" Kenshin was holding her sleeve and saying, "This one is sorry. But those are my feelings." It appeared to Yahiko that Kenshin was pulling her sleeve down. She yanked her arm away. "Don't touch me, you sick freak! I hate you!" (Ooh, this looks bad! )
Yahiko had had a secret crush on his instructor for some time now. (even worse!) To see Kenshin grabbing at her like this filled him with anger, jealousy and hatred. He unsheathed his new sword and yelled "Kenshin!" (Plot twist!)
Kenshin turned to see his own love facing him with a sword. (Kenshin turns out to be a gay pedophile!) He jumped up.
"Yahiko! What…?"
He had no time to finish his question. Yahiko leapt suddenly at him. Kenshin pulled out his own sword and blocked the attack.
"Yahiko, this one doesn't want to fight you!"
"You better keep your hands off Kaoru, then!"
"ORO?"
Yahiko jumped at Kenshin again. Kenshin blocked again. However, Yahiko, powered by anger and adrenalin, had jumped with too much strength. His sword broke and the blade flew upward. On it's downward journey, it slashed Yahiko's throat.
"NOOO!" screamed Kenshin.
Just then, Sano appeared in the doorway, holding the second bottle of sake.
"What the hell…?" he said, surveying the scene with wide eyes.
"Once again," whispered Kenshin, holding Yahiko's lifeless body, "This one has killed the one he loves." He lifted his eyes to Sano's. "No. You are at fault as well. You gave him the sword. If not for you, he would still be alive. Now this one will avenge him!"
"What? You want to fight? Fine, on one condition. It has to be a fist fight."
"Wha…fist fight?"
"Yep."
Kenshin dropped his sword. "All right."
A few days later, Sanosuke stopped by the dojo. He found Megumi washing the breakfast plates.
"Is Kenshin still in the hospital?"
Megumi dried off her hands. "Yeah. You could have gone a little easier on him, you know."
"Well, he kind of freaked me out with that whole 'This one will avenge him,' thing, ya know."
"Hmph. And Kaoru hasn't stopped crying for four days, ever since the fight."
"Is she crying because Yahiko got killed, or because Kenshin doesn't love her?"
"How could anyone tell? You can't here what she's saying anyway."
"Mmm, true…Anyway, I'm going to the Akabeko. Want to come?"
Megumi got to her feet. "Yeah, okay. No point in just sitting around here, I guess."
They left.
END
(Author's Note: This was not intended to become a real fanfic. It started as a joke. How did it get from that to this? Your guess is as good as ours. The original idea was that Sano would get with Megumi when he got back with the second bottle of sake, but we later decided that a Kenshin-Sano fistfight would make more sense. Sort of. Plus, the author was arguing with her friend, Shessy's Star, one day about (WAI! 1000 WORDS!) who would win in a fistfight. We think Sano would win, obviously. If you think otherwise… THEN WRITE YOUR OWN (BEEP)ING FANFIC! Also, please review, and tell me what a sick, twisted mind I have. And to actual gay people: This is not meant to be mean! It was just for a plot twist, 'k? You guys are cool with me, I'm not evil. Go rainbow! LGBT civil rights rock! To those evil homophobe people: (BEEP) YOU!)