Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the desk I'm sitting at, I rent it. Please don't sue me, you won't get anything. Almost everything in this fic is either owned by the CSI gods or Linkin Park, where the title and most of the words came from, the whole song is posted at the end.
Intro dealy: I saw this in my head when I heard this song last week, talk about you know you're a labrat when, Anywho here it is, and yes it is a departure from my other stuff, but not to worry I still very much believe they should be together. Enjoy.
Oh ya please tell me what you think, I need that legal high right now. Cheers.
Faint
By: PrepSatan
There was a sudden knock at Sara's door, that startled her and made her stomach flip. Not so much because of the knock, but because she knew that Grissom was on the other side of the door. She had called him over saying that she wanted to discuss a case with him, but really it was just to get him over because she wasn't about to have this conversation at the lab.
She had decided to leave the lab, for good this time, unless Grissom could convince her that he needed her to stay. That he needed her, not that the lab did, and it would take a hell of a lot more than a plant this time.
Sara shook her head free of her thoughts and moved toward the door, she paused again with her hand on the knob. There was another knock and she opened the door.
Grissom stood there as expected, he hadn't changed after work and was still clad in his black Dockers and dust blue button down shirt, but for some reason looked more casual now.
'God he looks good in that, the shirt really brings out his eyes. Damnit, stop that Sidle, don't let yourself fall for him again, control yourself.' Sara thought as she turned her back to him and walked away from the door. Grissom followed her in, closing the door behind him.
"You said you wanted to talk to me?" He asked.
Sara swallowed, "Um… ya."
"So, what did you find?"
"Sorry, what?"
Grissom was getting annoyed, she had called him over after several hours of overtime to talk about a case that, for some reason, couldn't wait until tomorrow, it was raining so the driving was crap, and now she was acting like… like… well he couldn't really place it, she almost seemed scared or anxious about something.
"The case Sara, what about the case?" he prompted, hoping to get this show on the road.
Sara took a deep breath, "There's nothing about the case, I just didn't want to have this conversation at the lab."
Grissom was angry that she had lied to him about this. "Why didn't you just ask me to come over then, why did you lie?"
Sara took another deep breath, "Because I knew that if it wasn't work related you wouldn't come."
Her words dug into Grissom like a knife.
"Well spit it out then, what is this really about?" He hissed.
"Us Grissom, this is about us."
"What us, there is no us Sara."
"Damnit Grissom, for the love of God, are you really that blind?! Can't you see?!"
"See what?!"
"That I love you! That I am a little bit of
loneliness, a little bit of disregard, a handful of complaints but I can't help
the fact that everybody can see these scars.
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel, but it's like no
matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real!" She threw her hands in the air, "So I let go,
watching you, turn your back like you always do, face away and pretend that I'm
not
but I'll be here cause you're all that I've got! I can't feel the way I did before,
time won't heal this damage anymore!"
Grissom turned away, he couldn't hear this, he couldn't believe she was saying these things to him. He felt Sara grab his arm and use his momentum to spin him around until he was facing her again.
"Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored!"
Sara stopped her tirade long enough to take a breath, but Grissom jumped in with his two cents before she could finish.
"I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident, because you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense! It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out!"
To Sara it sounded almost as though he was saying he had feelings for her as well, but she needed so desperately to hear him say that he loved her that this just wasn't good enough. Grissom took a breath to continue his assault, but Sara jumped in.
"You're too late Grissom, I'm leaving, okay, you can't stop me I'm leaving!"
Grissom couldn't believe he was hearing this, he was trying to tell her that he did love her but she wouldn't listen, "Hear me out now. You're gonna listen to me, like it or not, right now"
"I can't feel the way I did before, time won't heal this damage anymore! You just too damn late!"
"Fine you won't listen, then to hell with you!" Grissom turned to leave, and Sara immediately wished she had listened and accepted what he had said.
"Grissom! Wait!! Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored!" Sara yelled one last time, but now she was too late, he had walked out, out of her apartment and out of her life.
Sara couldn't believe that she had just lost Grissom forever, it hurt so much. She couldn't stop the pain, it tore out her heart and shattered her soul. She felt the tears stinging her eyes, she tried to stop herself from crying, she had cried enough because of him, but the tears came anyway. So alone in her apartment Sara slumped to the floor and cried.
Linkin Park Lyrics
"Faint"
I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got
[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense
I say what you never wanna say but I've never had a
doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got
[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
[Thanks to gtsujiuchi@attbi.com for these lyrics]