Chaos, chaos everywhere, from the floor that belongs to the aftermath of a tornado, to the desk whose surface looks more like a kitchen sink, cluttered with dirty dishes and soda cans. Sunlight flits through the window, landing on a sleeping boy with a mess of tangled blonde hair. He's kicked off his blankets in his fitful sleep, and now they add to the ever-present chaos of the room. Neither the sunlight nor the ruckus of his alarm clock can awaken him. With his eyes squeezed shut he reaches out and smacks the top of the clock, silencing it, and then goes back to sleep.
Hours later, in the same chaotic room, the boy sits bolt upright in bed. His blue eyes are open wide, his blonde hair sticks up every which way, and his pajama shirt is on backwards. With amazing clarity, he speaks out into the chaos of the empty room,
"I need a puppy."
"Remind me again, what gave you the idea to go and get a dog?" Axel asks for the umpteenth time, his hands on his hips. Roxas is sitting Indian style on the carpeted living room floor, a little puppy in his lap. He is doing his best to corral the energetic dog, but is not very successful. Barely paying attention he replies,
"I had a dream that we both lost our weapons and were attacked by a million dusks and then a giant dog from heaven swooped down and ate the dusks and pooped out munny and I thought we should get a dog." He speaks calmly and evenly. "I checked with the landlord and he said a puppy was ok so long as it didn't destroy anything, so I went and got one." The puppy in question is a small little border collie puppy with a two-toned face, black body and white belly who is currently nibbling on Roxas's fingers in search of food. With a sigh, Axel looks at the ceiling as if it could give him patience and wisdom so that he won't decide to see if puppies are combustible.
"You thought to ask the landlord, but you didn't bother to ask me?" he grumbles after a minute, turning back to Roxas and the puppy, one eyebrow arched so high it is almost hidden in his hair. Roxas shrugs and does not look up.
"It was your idea," he says vaguely, tickling the little dog's white belly. Axel's eyebrow inches upward even more.
"It was?" he asks slowly, in a puzzled tone, trying to make eye contact with Roxas to see if he's joking.
"Yeah, in the dream it was your idea to take the giant dog home," Roxas explains, making a grab for the puppy as it escapes from his leg-barrier. Axel smacks his forehead, and then slowly drags his hand down his face. His forehead is red now, like his hair.
"Roxas," he says exasperatedly, one hand still covering half of his face, "that was a dream."
"So? You were in it, weren't you?" Roxas replies, fetching the puppy out from behind the couch. "Uh-oh," he remarks, head still behind the couch.
"You have got to be kidding me…" Axel growls under his breath. "What now?" he says more loudly.
"Daisy had an accident," Roxas replies, not moving behind the couch.
"It's not house broken?" Axel nearly yells, causing "Daisy" to wriggle out of Roxas's grasp and run behind the TV. None too gently, Axel fishes the dog out of the wires. "This thing is going back where you got it from right now, got it memorized?" Roxas has finally gotten out from behind the couch and he runs over, snatching the puppy from Axel's grip.
"No!" he says, holding the dog protectively. "Daisy's my dog and I'm keeping her!" Daisy yips in agreement, white-tipped stub of a tail wagging.
"Roxas…. 'Daisy' is a boy," Axel says slowly, simply amazed by his friend's stupidity. All of the expression drains out of Roxas's face as reality sets in. He carefully flips the puppy over.
"Oh."
"Take it back. Now," Axel orders.
"Whyyyy?" Roxas whines, struggling to hold on to the puppy, who is tired of being suspended in mid-air.
"One- You don't know how to take care of a dog. Two – I don't want a dog. And Three – This particular dog is not even house trained. We are not keeping this dog."
"I do too know how to take care of a dog!" Roxas retorts, stomping his foot and giving the puppy a startling shake. The puppy yelps and finally makes its escape from Roxas's grip, falling a short distance to the floor. As the puppy darts to the hallway Axel scoops it up again, shaking his head.
"If you don't take this dog back, I'm leaving it in a back alley to get eaten by rats," he says definitively. Roxas's mouth drops open in shock.
"But… but… it's just a puppy. You wouldn't do something like that to a poor little innocent puppy!"* Roxas replies, huge blue eyes widening in a pathetic sort of puppy-like expression. Axel rolls his eyes.
"Roxas, why the heck would I want a puppy around when I've got you to take care of?" he asks, exasperated.
Roxas frowns at this and says, "I can take care of myself, and a dog!" Axel scoffs.
"You didn't even know it was boy."
"I forgot to check!"
"No, you're just a moron," Axel says, shoving the puppy into his best friend's arms. Roxas stares at him, holding the wriggling puppy. "If it's not gone by morning, it will have a very short life-span," Axel informs him. He stalks towards the kitchen, pulling open the fridge. "Roxas, why is there cat food in the refrigerator?"
"That's cat food?"
"No, puppy! Don't eat that!" Roxas yelps, scooping up the dog and wrestling a piece of moldy food from his mouth. He gags, stumbling to his garbage can and throwing the chunk of food on top. It bounces off, landing on the floor again. The puppy wriggles in Roxas's grasp, licking his face all over. "Ew! Puppy! That's so gross!" Roxas complains. Holding the dog at arm's length, he stumbles to the bathroom.
Grabbing a toothbrush and getting it wet, he struggles to hold the puppy still while he shoves the toothbrush into its mouth. "You need to clean your mouth out after eating that… thing!" he insists, pulling at the puppy's lips. With a growl, the dog bites his fingers, sharp little puppy teeth breaking the skin. "Ow!" Roxas says, dropping the toothbrush. There is a wet plopping noise. Roxas looks up from the puppy and his bleeding fingers.
He just dropped Axel's toothbrush in the toilet.
The puppy uses Roxas's distraction to escape and go leaping off the bathroom counter. Roxas dives, barely managing to catch the hyper dog. Tucking the squirming thing securely under one arm, he surveys the toothbrush in the toilet.
"Axel is so going to kill me." He leans over to flush the evidence and the puppy slides out from underneath his arm and lands in the now flushing toilet. A howl of pure terror splits the air. "AAAHHH!" Roxas yells in synch, diving after the dog in the toilet. The puppy flails, and is slippery when wet, making him very difficult to grab.
Axel hears the noise and storms into the bathroom. Water is everywhere, and in the middle of the mess stands Roxas, holding that cursed puppy. The soaked puppy has Axel's toothbrush in his mouth.
"ROXAS!" Axel thunders, diving for the boy and the dog. Nearly falling on his face, Roxas runs past him, puppy held tightly. He bursts out of the apartment into the hallway and keeps running. Axel slams through the door after him. "I'M GOING TO KILL THAT STUPID DOG!" he growls, tearing after his terrified best friend.
Axel catches Roxas in the stairwell. "Give. Me. That. Thing," he spits, glaring menacingly. Roxas shakes his head firmly, cradling the still wet dog against his chest. Axel's glare tightens. "Roxas," he growls, sticking out a hand to receive the dog.
"You can't burn him if he's wet!" Roxas shouts, panicked.
"Give me the dog, Roxas," Axel repeats, getting more impatient by the second. Roxas tucks the puppy securely in one of his pants pockets and draws his Keyblades.
"No!"
Axel summons his chackrams in a whirl of fire. The battle begins. Axel is smart enough not to burn down the apartment building, but it limits what he can do. He doesn't stand a chance.
Axel is not quite sure how it happened, but he is pinned to the floor with Oblivion lightly scratching the skin around his collarbone. The stupid puppy is out of Roxas's pocket and licking his fingers.
"We're keeping the puppy," Roxas says firmly. Axel groans.
"I hate you," he remarks, staring at the ceiling. Roxas laughs.
"No you don't."
"Yes, yes I do, got it memorized?" Axel retorts, still staring at the ceiling. He is not shooing the dog away from his hand.
"Whatever," Roxas replies, putting the Keyblades away and scooping up the dog. "I'll buy you a new toothbrush," he adds, offering Axel a hand up. Axel looks at his best friend, then at the stupid dog, and smiles, letting Roxas pull him upright.
"And dog food and carpet cleaner," he informs Roxas.
"Oh yeah…" Roxas says, hanging his head, just remembering the mess behind the couch.
"Yep, you get to clean that up, and the bathroom," Axel informs him.
"Okay! Then you get to watch Checkers!" Roxas says, smiling and plopping "Checkers" into Axel's arms.
"Checkers?" Axel asks, staring incredulously at the puppy and then at Roxas. He gets his face licked for his remark.
"I think that should be his name," Roxas says, heading upstairs. Axel sighs, pushing the pup away from his face. He follows Roxas back to their apartment. They wince at the smell as they head inside.
"Hurry up, and don't forget to take the cat food back," Axel says, plugging his nose and retreating to his room, Checkers firmly in hand.
*This sentence was accidentally originally written as, "You would do something like that to a poor innocently little puppy!" XD
A/N – Poor Axel! Ha ha!
So, where did this mad little idea come from? Youtube videos - which are about as weird as Roxas's dreams. I was watching a spoofy KH video by a chick named AxelObcessed, and at one point it showed a bunch of emo pictures of Axel and then said, "Somebody get this man a puppy!" Well, after dying laughing I wonder exactly how that would go. And then Roxas popped up in my head begging for a puppy too, and this happened. I hope you enjoyed it! This is definitely not a one-shot, but I'm not going to be writing seriously on it either, since it's just for fun!
Edit: So, Fanfiction hates Microsoft Word formatting and messed a lot of things up. I think I fixed them, but I'm not really sure. So, sorry, I tried.