Auden had to succeed, to win
It wasn't something that was optional
It was a necessity
She need to win
To impress her demanding mother
To make up for her free-spirited brother
And most importantly
To get her absentee dad's attention
All Auden has in her life is the ability to win
She has no friends
No boyfriend
No social life
She's a winner
Through and through
Though if you look at through Eli's eyes
She's always losing
The girl never even learned how to ride a bike for Pete's sake
He wanted to teach her how not to win
He was good at that
He repeatedly failed things all his life
Auden couldn't figure out how he was okay with that
If it had been her, she'd be having a meltdown
Auden's need to win just seemed like ambition to most people
Eli saw it differently
He saw a girl just begging for attention
Not in a bad, rebellious way
But a quiet, pleading way
She wanted people to look at her achievements
Not who she was
Because, if they looked who she really was
They'd see a loser
Not just any loser
But an insecure loser
That's why Auden needed to win
She needed the disguise
To shield her from preying eyes
So that, if anyone looked only a the surface,
They'd find perfection
Not the real deal
Nobody wanted to meet the real Auden
She was a complete mess
Still reeling from her parents' divorce
She hated how they didn't even bother to make sure she was okay
Auden learned that emotions were irrelevant in her family
She learned to lock her feelings into a closet
And throw away the key
It helped her win temporarily
But Auden soon discovered that she really didn't want to win
She wanted to be love
And that's how she lost