Snape sat down, chatting with the other professors. It was a typical Halloween party. Students were telling spooky stories, eating candy, and having fun. That is until Quirrell came busting through the Great Hall doors.
"TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" He yelled, running quickly. The room fell silent as he repeated himself, stuttering, "T-T-TROLL IN THE D-D-DUNGEON!" Dumbledore stood up, looking down at him. Quirrell muttered, "Thought you ought to know," and fell to the floor.
Screams shot from every table. Snape glanced left and right before heading to the third floor corridor just as Albus eventually silenced everyone and had the prefects lead the students to their common rooms. Severus knew exactly what was going on. Quirinus had set a troll loose so he could race and get the Sorcerer's Stone, but Snape knew better. Severus arrived just in time to see Quirrell standing outside the door, muttering to himself. He had just opened the door when Snape ran at him.
"You!" Snape hissed, pushing Quirrell against the wall inside. "I knew it was you!"
"S-s-s-s-Severus! P-p-p-pl-please!" Quirrell winced, eyes wide in horror.
"Beg for your life, you foolish windbag. I should kill you right here and now." He raised his wand and voice, snarling.
"S-Snape, pl-please d-don't."
"Gah, you're useless to me." Snape grabbed ahold of Quirinus' cloak, raising an eyebrow, "The only thing you'd be of any use to anyone is a nice stammering sex toy for me." He lowered his wand, "Lumos." A small light came from his wand as he glanced down Quirrell's front.
Quirrell's eyes widened, "W-what?"
"You heard me." A small smirk crossed his lips. "Don't pretend I haven't heard the rumors about poor, quirky Professor Queer. Everyone in Slytherin knows you're bent for me. Believe me, I'm sure Malfoy has also told a few Gryffindors..."
"B-but what about y-you? D-do t-they k-know you'r-re g-g-gay?"
Sev snorted, pointing his wand at the other professor,"Maybe. I don't mind. Besides, even Dumbledore is gay."
"T-True..." Quirrell whined, "W-What a-are y-you g-going t-to d-d-do and s-say ab-bout th-this?"
"Nothing as long as you give me what I'm after." Snape sneered.
Quirrell didn't want everyone to know he was after the Sorcerer's Stone and even the slowest of students knew that. With that said, Quirrell nodded and started to undress.
"Good choice, Quirrell. Next time you won't be so lucky. I may not be in the moo-"
A low growl interrupted the two.
"O-oh d-dear!" Quirinus said in alarm, almost ready to undo the final button on his clothes.
"Damn it!" Snape roared. He raised his wand and shouted, "Expelli-" but not until the three-headed dog bit down on his leg.
Quirrell wasted no time and finished off Snape's failed spell, "Expelliarmus!" A bolt of red light shot out of his wand and hit the beast's chest, causing it to stumble backwards.
"Run!" Severus shouted, staggering to his feet and limping as quickly as he could out the door, pushing him out as well. He grabbed onto the door and shut it as he tripped, landing on top of Quirrell.
"SON OF A BIT-" Snape yelled, his wounded leg hitting the floor, but Quirrell covered his mouth.
"S-Shhh, w-we d-don't wa-want t-to g-get ca-caught." He hushed. Snape nodded and rose to his feet, leaning to the left so he wasn't putting all his weight on his bleeding leg.
"What the hell were you thinking you disgusting ball of-" Snape was cut off by a loud crash coming from the girls bathroom. He glanced at Quirrell to find him buttoning up his cloak.
"Well, are w-we going t-to g-g-go s-see w-what th-that w-was?
"We better. If it's something importa-"
"What are you two doing up here!?" A voice blurted. Snape and Quirrel turned to see Minerva McGonagall yelling in shock. She must've spotted a button undone on Quirinus' cloak because she looked slightly disturbed, "Were you two-"
"No time for questions, Minerva, we should go see what made that noise." Snape blurted out, "Honestly, we should make sure that wasn't a troll smashing through a wall!"
"H-he ha-has a-a po-point."
"Gah, c'mon you two. I suppose you're right." She turned just in time to miss Snape smirking at Quirrell and pretending to act like he's shoving his wand into Minerva, causing Quirrell to nearly fall down laughing. Severus snickered and walked after McGonagall, Quirnius right behind him.