a/n: so i haven't written anything in forever. but guess what: today is an important day. Today would be Kendall's birthday (for those of you that don't know her, she's the girl that hugged AJ Cook.) You can find her on tumblr. Her URL is petrifyingprentiss ….. and she's flawless & lovely and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. So I told her i would write her a fic for her birthday, soooo here it is! This is a songfic…the song is Kendall's favorite (and now mine…i'm obsessed.) This takes place after 7x01 It Takes a Village. Beth is non existent. So yeah. Enjoy :) xoxo
Glass by Thompson Square
Tryin' to live and love
With a heart that can't be broken
Is like tryin' to see the light
With eyes that can't be opened
"Emily," Aaron Hotchner said gently, as the last members of his team exited the BAU. He and the brunette were the only two left. She was standing quietly, facing the door, watching the team she had fought so hard for earlier, go home, after a long couple of months. He stepped closer to her, but she did not respond.
Emily couldn't help but think of all they had gone through, together, and apart, since her departure. She had been in hiding for such a long time, and she had missed her family and friends, and her home.
"Em," Aaron said again, a little louder, jolting her out of her trance. He put his hand on top of hers.
"I'm tired, Aaron," she mumbled, taking his hand, but still not turning around.
"I know, Em," he said soothingly. He gently tugged on her hand, causing her to turn around to face him. He studied her face; now that the excitement of earlier had faded, he saw how weary and sad she seemed.
He took her other hand and pulled her closer. He stroked her cheek with one hand gently.
"Aaron," she began, shakily.
"I'm going to kiss you now," he told her, and waited a moment for her to protest, but she didn't. So, he kissed her. It was gentle, and warm. Hotch tried to pour all his love, and to show how much he cared for her, in this kiss. She broke away quickly, stunned at what had just happened.
Yeah, we both carry baggage
We picked up on our way
So if you love me, do it gently
And I will do the same
"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head, a single tear falling.
"You have nothing to be-" he began.
"I'm damaged goods," she said almost inaudibly, as she looked down at the ground.
"No," he said, refusing to let her think that, "You're perfect…we're all damaged a little, Emily. God knows I am," he said, also looking down, thinking of his late wife, Haley. "We've all been through a lot in the past year…in the past couple of years. Not much has come easy," he said, lifting her chin gently, so she was looking him in the eyes again.
We may shine, we may shatter
We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after
We are fragile, we are human
We are shaped by the light we let through us
But we break fast 'cause we are glass
'Cause we are glass
"I don't know how I can go back to normal after this! I think I loved him, Aaron. I loved Ian Doyle. When he was shot, and when he was dying, and when he was holding Declan's hand, I realized that I wanted to be the one holding him. When I heard the gun fire, I almost jumped in front of him," Emily confessed. "Every time I close my eyes, I see his face, I hear his voice…and they aren't nightmares, but they're sweet dreams and old memories," Emily said, biting her lip.
"Emily, I know that you're not over him completely. It's all happened so fast, how could you be? But I want to help you. I've always been here for you. You know that. This time is no different," Aaron insisted.
"It is, Hotch. It is different this time. Because before, you were there when the case hit a little too close to home. This time, it's beyond too close to home! And it's also different because I lo-," Emily stopped herself, frustrated.
I'll let you look inside me
Through the stains and through the cracks
And in the darkness of this moment
You see the good in that
But try not to judge me
'Cause we've walked down different paths
But it brought us here together
So I won't take that back
"I have always opened up to you. I've let down my walls, put away the compartmentalizing, and just talked to you," she continued, disregarding her last statement.
"And you can do it again, Emily. You just have to trust me. Take a chance. A leap of faith. Go for it. Go for me," Hotch pleaded. Emily sighed, feeling that life was defeating her. Tears started to fall down her cheeks.
"You know why it's different?" Emily cried, "Because you just kissed me!"
"Emily….things have been hard this year. The only thing that was keeping us… keeping me going, was knowing that we were bringing you home. And now you're here. And I couldn't help but kiss you. I've wanted to for so long," Hotch admitted.
"I've wanted to kiss you since you showed up at my apartment, before we went to Milwaukee," Emily said, biting her lip, blushing.
"Let me in, Emily. Let me help you," Hotch requested.
We might be all in water
This could be a big mistake
We might burn like gasoline and fire
It's a chance we'll have to take
"Maybe we won't make it. Maybe it won't work out. But at least we'll know we tried. If we never try, then we'll never find out how sweet it could be. Emily. I love you. Maybe you don't love me, too. Maybe you don't want any part of this. But all I'm asking is for you to try. Who knows? This could be just what you need to feel better, back to normal, or even better than normal!" Hotch exclaimed.
We may shine, we may shatter
We may be pickin' up the pieces here on after
We are fragile, we are human
And we are shaped by the light we let through us
But we break fast 'cause we are glass
We are glass
"I'll love you, and I'll take care of you," Hotch said, "I will protect you, and I will be your best friend."
"It sounds like you're trying to marry me," Emily said with a nervous laugh. Hotch grimaced, knowing that when she made jokes, she was trying to deflect pain or uncomforted.
"Emily…will you try? Just say no, and I'll leave you alone," Hotch requested, "And we'll go back to the way it all was."
"I want it to go back to how it was before, Hotch. I need it to. For the sake of my sanity…" she said frowning.
"Okay," Hotch said, nodding, accepting his defeat, he turned to leave, but Emily's voice stopped him.
"But I need you, too. I can't be okay if I don't have you," Emily slowly approached Aaron, and in one swift motion, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. She broke the kiss, and leaned in towards his ear.
"I love you, too," She whispered, and then kissed him again. She felt his lips curve up ward in a smile.
"It's good to have you back," Hotch murmured.
"It's good to be back," she replied, and kissed him again. And it was, truly, good to be back.