"It's a nice turnout," Albus commented as he and his only sister sat beneath the shade of the great oak tree behind the Potter household. Before them were the many guests attending the party held in their elder brother's honor to celebrate his so far successful career in pro Quidditch. Though they were happy for him, the two found themselves out of place among the many high profile friends of their parents, and their brother.
"I guess." Lily shrugged. "The Minister's son has the eyes for Rose, and it's the most entertaining thing I've seen all year."
The two shared a laugh as Lily pointed to the far end of the yard where Rose Weasley was doing her best to evade the small framed, oily haired, twenty-something creature as he followed her through the crowds. As they disappeared, Albus turned to Lily. "I heard his cousin has a thing for you."
"Which one?" Lily has nonchalantly as she let her eyes gaze over the crowd.
"Chase." Albus answered. "You know him. He went to Hogwarts with us."
"He was older than me, Albus."
"So was Scorpius," Albus replied, but was met by silence. Lily didn't even turn to him, and instead kept her eyes fixed on the every changing crowd before them. She could hear the laughter and talking but the longer the silence continued between them, the more distant the sound became, especially as thoughts of the only Malfoy child started to move about her mind.
"Lily?" Albus asked and she sighed as she faced him.
"What?"
"You're ok, right?"
"Yeah, Albus, it's been a year." Lily answered as she turned away. As though on que, the once perfect blonde boy strode towards the Potter siblings before he took a seat beside Albus. With a groan, he fell back on the grass and stared up at the leaves of the tree.
"Tired?" Albus asked.
"Worn out." Scorpius answered. "And my father is none too happy with the way I conduct my personal life, and I know that if I go to the Manor tonight without some perfect girl, I'll never hear the end of it."
"What exactly is your father's idea of a perfect girl?" Lily asked curiously and Scorpius rolled onto his side to peer at her.
With a laugh he answered. "You, without your uh…"Scorpius paused as he cleared his throat. "Your witty remarks about everything."
"So someone boring?" Lily asked and Scorpius laughed again as he rolled back to his back. For a moment, a comfortable silence fell around the three friends, but as Scorpius sat up, Albus and Lily turned to him.
"He's all but engaged me to Amber Sterling."
The silence shifted from comfortable to tense in a matter of mere seconds. Lily shifted her eyes away from him, and Scorpius noticed, his own eyes lingering on her before he turned to Albus.
"You mean the famous model?" Albus asked curiously and Scorpius nodded.
"She's nothing like the image she projects to the media. She's not quiet or reasonable. Or even well mannered. She's a disaster. The woman cannot hold her tongue."
"That's always bothered you." Lily commented, her voice colder than she meant it to be, but Scorpius didn't hear it as harshly as Albus had. Scorpius knew Lily well enough to know exactly how her emotions affect her voice.
"Not as much as you'd think." Scorpius responded and again Albus tried to stop any conversation between the two, especially about another woman.
"He wants you to be married again?" Albus asked curiously, but Scorpius' eyes remained on the side of Lily's face. Though she was looking away, he knew she could tell he was watching her.
"Yes, he says it's a better image for the Malfoy family."
"Maybe that's your problem," Lily commented, finally turning to him, but she was not familiar to Albus. His sweet, kind hearted sister had been replaced with a woman scorned, her naturally light blue eyes now a dark sapphire as she stared at Scorpius. Scorpius, unlike Albus, did still recognize Lily. After nearly five years of marriage, he knew every side of her. And though she seemed angered to the point of no return, Scorpius knew that beneath her outer layer of anger she only held passion.
"What is?" Scorpius asked.
"You do things for the Malfoy family image, and not for you."
"That's not true at all." Scorpius responded. "I married you, didn't I? Somehow, I can't imagine my father agreeing that marrying a Potter was better for his idea of the Malfoy image."
"Well, I guess I should be thankful you lowered your standards then."
"Don't start twisting my words." Scorpius responded strongly. "I didn't come over here to argue with you, Lily. Although it seems I can't go anywhere near you without it becoming an argument."
"Guys, come on." Albus groaned but neither paid him any attention.
"I don't try to argue with you, Scorpius."
"Really?" He replied with a dry laugh. "So every time we're remotely near each other, it's me who starts an argument?"
"Yes." Lily snapped before she got to her feet and started to walk away. Albus turned to Scorpius, and much to his dismay, found Scorpius rising to his feet as well. Deciding it was probably better for his health not to intervene, Albus let Scorpius follow Lily towards the crowd behind the house. At a safe distance, Albus trailed behind, expecting a rather large display but instead the divorced couple wound up in the center of the dance floor.
"Why are you so mad at me?" Scorpius' voice was low and rather harsh as he spoke into Lily's ear. Their arms had instinctively wrapped around one another, but both were careful not to get too close to the other as they moved to the music and around the thick crowd
"Why does everything have to be about you?" Lily spat back as Scorpius spun her around, taking her by surprise.
"As I remember it, you divorced me, so I just cannot grasp what reason you have for being mad at me." Scorpius continued as though Lily had said nothing. She narrowed her eyes at him, and from the look in her eyes, he knew he had gone too far, though he still did not understand what it was that drove her to such anger.
Releasing her as quickly as he could, Scorpius slipped away, but this time Lily followed him. "Why do you always do that!"
Everything had suddenly gotten eerily silent as Scorpius slowly turned to Lily.
"Do what, exactly?" Scorpius asked, and though his voice carried the sarcasm from his emotions, he truly did not understand the woman whom he once loved with his very core. "Everything I do, whether we're married or not pisses you off, so there's very little I can and can't do around you. Wouldn't you agree? But for the purposes of this argument, please tell me what I did this time."
"Why do you have to act so smug all the time?" Lily groaned as her parents started to appear at each side of them.
"And how do I do that, Lily? What was it? When did it start? When did you start to hate me?"
Scorpius hadn't seen the flash in her eyes, for she had sent him into the air with one swift wave of her arm. The crash of him landing into one of the tables had echoed, but the complete silence around them had intensified the sound.
"Why do you say things like that?"
"Because!" Scorpius yelled back at her as he struggled to get back to his feet. Ignoring the rips in his clothes and the spots from the food that had been on the table, he walked towards. "Because you use spells on me! Why would I not think that? You divorced me, remember! So explain to me what I did to deserve that? You got what you wanted! You even got a very generous settlement and the house, Lily. I gave you everything you wanted even when you didn't want me."
The words had stung, but Scorpius knew Lily. She did not walk away when it started to hurt. She stayed and fought, and that had been what confused him the most. She ran when it came to the marital problems he didn't know they had, but when it came to anything else, she fought. Whether she fought to keep everything together, or fought back, was a different matter.
"So that's it?" Scorpius asked when lily didn't respond. "You'll send me fifty feet in the air, but you won't tell me what it was I did to make you hate me? To drive you to get a divorce instead of actually talking to me? I don't understand why you-"
"I had an affair." Lily's voice was almost unheard except by those closest to her, including her parents and brothers. Scorpius, also, had heard the words but he didn't respond at all. At least he didn't appear to respond to Albus, and her parents. Lily could see it though, just like he could see it in her eyes.
Before her parents could reach her, Lily turned and started to walk away but after a few more steps, for the second time, Scorpius watched her run away.
X
Ginny and Harry Potter peered up, Ginny far more concerned than her husband, as Albus came around the corner of the kitchen. "She wasn't there." Albus said and Ginny turned away as she sighed, though Harry only nodded softly.
"Where is she?"
"I don't know, Mum." Albus answered with a heavy sigh. "I can't imagine she would be coming around after that anyway. Not only does she not want to be around Scorp, she doesn't want you hovering around her every two seconds."
"Gin," Harry said her name in a warning tone as she peered up at her second child. "He's right, you know. You have a tendency to hover when people aren't exactly at their best. She just wants some space. She'll come home when she's ready."
"Did you go to Scorpius' apartment?" Ginny asked and Albus rose an eyebrow.
"Not only would he not let me in, she's not there anyway." Albus answered. "They're both just laying around musing about the relationship their not supposed to have anymore."
Ginny had been ready to respond, but a pop echoed through the room. As the three turned, they were met by Scorpius, though he was not as put together as he usually was. His hair was unkempt and dirty, just as his clothes were.
"Is she here?"
"No." Albus answered. "Would you like to stay and explain a few things?"
"Like what?" Scorpius replied, obviously distressed.
"Like what happened."
"Why would I know, Albus? That's precisely why I've been popping all over the world looking for your sister, who apparently just does not want to be found." Scorpius answered. "Which is not like her at all."
"Well, if you haven't been home, how do you know she's not there waiting for you?" Albus asked. Scorpius narrowed his eyes at Albus for a moment before he popped out, before Ginny could demand any answers from him.
As Scorpius reappeared in the living area of his apartment, he found himself looking down at a small head of tossed red hair, and eagerly walked towards the couch, but as he moved around to the front, he found Lily asleep, her dark eyes shut as she rested against the arm rest. With a sigh, Scorpius stepped towards her and gathered her in his arms before he carried her into the bedroom. After removing her shoes, he set her on his bed and pulled the covers over her before he stepped back, his own dark and tired eyes staring down at her.
Somehow, over the course of the last year, he'd convinced himself that he no longer loved Lily Potter, and that the finalization of their divorce had clearly marked the end of their relationship. Yet, as he watched her get what he assumed was much needed sleep, every last feeling he convinced himself he did have came back faster than he could've ever imagined. The warm feeling she had always given him had suddenly overwhelmed him, but then there was a sharp pain of betrayal.
I had an affair. I had an affair. I had an affair. I had an affair.
As the words continued to echo, the pain slowly grew until he finally forced himself to turn away from her. Leaving her to sleep, Scorpius decided on taking a shower, hoping the water would clear his mind, but he had no such hope. With every warm feeling Lily gave him, her confession stung in a way nothing else ever had.
Though he was physically refreshed, the mental, and emotional, toll had been too much to simply wash away. As he walked back into the bedroom, he paused in the door frame when he found Lily sitting up on the edge of the bed watching him. Though she did not appear as tired as he, her eyes were still dark, and even puffy.
"I was waiting for you." Lily's voice was soft, and when she started to speak, she found she could not even look at the man she had been married to for so long. Instead, she casted her eyes downward. She could hear Scorpius moving, but she didn't know where. The sound of his dresser opening let her know he was dressing behind her, for there was little reason to move into the next room after five years of marriage.
"I was looking for you." Scorpius finally answered. She saw him step in front of her, and he soon sat beside her on the bed, though she did not turn to look at him. He had to reach out, his hand cupping her cheek, to force her to face him. As innocent as the touch was, neither felt as though it was simply a brush of skin. It was fire, or maybe ice. As simple as it might've been to anyone else, the gesture had been intense to the pair.
"I'm sorry." Lily managed to say the words, but just barely. She did not have tears in her eyes, for she rarely did, but Scorpius knew her voice was close to breaking, if it hadn't already.
"So it's true," Scorpius had simply spoken the words as he withdrew his hand from her cheek. It had not been a question, but a statement, and suddenly the mere inches between them felt like a miles thick wall.
"Will you say something?" Lily whispered softly.
"I don't know what you want me to say." Scorpius' voice was soft as well, but Lily could hear the pain she had caused. Even if they were divorced.
"Anything."
"Well, tell me why it matters now? We're not even together, Lily. You wanted a divorce."
"Why do you do that?" Lily looked up at him, her eyes starting to darken they way they had days before. "Why do you always have to remind me that it was me? That it was my choice? My divorce?"
"It was your choice, Lily. I came home and you were gone. You didn't even leave me a note."
The silence that followed seemed to intensify as Lily tried to hold his gaze, but she soon tried to turn away. He had seen the look in her eyes, and as she tried to move away, he put his arm around her waist, his other hand finding her cheek. With nothing else to do, Lily forced herself to look in Scorpius' eyes.
"Do you still love me? At all?" Scorpius asked softly, almost afraid of the answer he would get.
"Yes."
She didn't know how to respond. All she knew were Scorpius' lips pressed against hers for the first time in a year. At first it was slow, almost as though it truly was the first kiss they ever shared, but as Lily moved into him, her own lips starting to part, the kiss intensified. It might've been hours, or just minutes, but by the time Lily found her thoughts once more, she was laying back on Scorpius' bed, his hands on her waist and traveling up and down her curves. His lips were attached to the smooth skin of her neck, finding that one spot that drove her to the edge.
"Scorpius, no." Lily forced the words from her lips, and could feel his lips slowly pulling from her skin, and she was reminded of one more reason she loved him so. He never forced her into anything more than what she wanted, or could handle.
Scorpius sat up and rested his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. She could hear his deep breaths as he regained his composure.
"Just tell me why, Lily."
"Why we shouldn't have sex right now?"
"Why leave me?" Scorpius asked as he swallowed and turned to her once more. "If you had-" He tried to say the words but he could not. He could hardly bear the thought of his Lily, his wife, in the arms of another man.
"I didn't know what to do." She responded softly. "It was stupid, I know that, Scorpius." She started to reach out for his hands, but stopped herself. Once he realized what she was trying to do, he turned his hand and held it out, watching as a small smile appeared across her lips as she placed her hand in his and moved ever so slightly closer to him. "I was emotional."
"Well, what I mean is, was I the one who drove you away?"
"No," Lily shook her head as she looked at him. She saw the relief that momentarily crossed his face, but it was soon gone. "I just…"
"What? Tell me, please, Lily." Scorpius lowered his head to hers, until their foreheads touched. "Just tell me the truth."
"I was pregnant. With our baby, Scorpius. And I wanted to tell you." Lily started and again questions formed in his head, but wanted her to finish first. "I tried to tell you so many times, but by the time I finally did try to tell you…"
"What?" Scorpius asked softly, as he gently kissed away one of the tears from her cheek.
"I lost him."
"Lily," Scorpius sighed as he pulled her closer once more. Though she had not specifically explained the extent of her feelings for him, knowing that she still loved him, even if just a little, was more than enough to make him want her as close as possible. "It would've been alright, love."
Another tear fell at the name he called her. It had been over a year since he'd last called her that, and she had not known how she loved it so until he finally said it once more. "I'm sorry, Scorpius. I was mad at me. And I was mad at you for your job, and then the baby and I was just so emotional about everything."
"I turned down that job to stay here with you, Lily."
"I didn't know that yet." She replied as she tried to look away but Scorpius would not allow it. "The stress of everything was more than I could handle, and then losing the baby on top of that just…"
Scorpius pulled her to him, letting her burry her face in his chest. He knew she did not like to cry, but that she coming close to the point where she could no longer hold it back any more. Slowly, he lifted her until he cradled her in his lap, his arm protectively around her body. He could faintly hear her quiet sobs as she pulled herself closer and closer to his chest.
The silence was not uncomfortable, this time, but Scorpius still needed one more answer. "Lily?"
"What?" He could still understand her muffled voice.
"Who?"
Lily pulled away slightly, just enough to look him in the eye. "Robert." She felt his arms tighten around her, but she did not want to say anything further. She did not need Scorpius to lose his temper. Not when she knew he was the only one who would ever put her heart to ease, and wash away her guilt. Perhaps not instantly, but eventually. And perhaps they could not overcome her mistake, and Lily understood that well enough, but she needed him now more than ever, to simply hold her and promise that the world would not crash that night.
"Why didn't you just tell me? After?" Scorpius asked.
"I was afraid."
"Of what?"
"That you would hate me. That you wouldn't love me anymore. That you wouldn't want me."
Scorpius reached up to cup her cheek. How badly he wanted to kiss away her tears. To fall with her into bed and hold her through the night. To promise that everything would be ok. To tell her of his enduring love. And then there was the part of him which not stop stinging from the pain of betrayal. Who could not understand how the woman he so desperately loved would turn from him.
"And the divorce?"
"I felt like you shouldn't have had to waste your love on someone who… who didn't deserve it."
"Stop." Scorpius shut his eyes as he shook his head. He could not hear of anything so ridiculous. When he looked at her once more, they did not exchange words. He simply pulled her close to him once more, wanting to hold her. He did not know if they would together again. He only knew that he wanted to hold her, just once more, if never again.
"You always deserved my love, Lily." Scorpius whispered softly before he pressed his lips against her temple. "I only wish we had this conversation a year ago."
"I'm sorry."
"Shh." He cooed softly in her ear as he held her tighter. "Don't apologize anymore. Just…" He trailed off and Lily pulled away to peer into his eyes.
"What?"
"Give me one more night with you, Lily. Just to hold you and kiss you again. Tomorrow we'll worry about everything else. Just let me love you tonight."
Slowly, Lily nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her lips find his.