Atvar stumbled through the doorway in a drunken haze. "Ssssttttupidddd unisherse! Hic-Hateshs meese! I hateshs ish ri-urp-ightsh backscks. Hic" he slurred drunkenly taking another swig from his bottle.
"Ah exalted Fleetlord, are you alright?" a scientist said trembling at the sight of the drunken fleetlord appearing in the doorway.
"I'sh ish fine," Atvar said sadly. "The Usi-unish-unisherve hates me, b-b-b-burp-but I feel fine." Atvar put a friendly hand over the scientists shoulder. "Whash a g-hic-reat shientish doing shis late a night?"
The scientist was too afraid to remind the exalted Fleetlord it was 10am. "Uh, well, uh."
"Spitz it outsh lishard! Or I'lls shoots ya outsa the air-air-air. H-help me out friend, itsh that -hic- thingy door watchmacallits? Burp walk through it to gesh outta this here shi-hic- ship," Atvar said, proud of himself for the minimal slurring.
"The airlock?"
Atvar hissed in pleasure and took another swig from his bottle. "Tttthhhaaatttsss the two. You'ssa good little lishturd, not likes that ashhole Straha. I tells ya whats I's gon-hic-gonna do. If you's can tellsh messa goody goody news, I's a gonna makes ya head o' re-re-researchy shit. That Ttomatolls guy is too fuck'en d-d-d-URP! Oh Emperor! I donst reme-spit-mber eating that!"
The scientist stepped carefully around the mess and went to his machine. "Well, um, exalted Fleetlord," he began.
An empty bottle whipped past his head and shattered against the wall. "Enough o' your fanshy ash talk. Lesh sciency and more goody's -hic-!"
"Ah," the Scientist stared in horror at the Fleetlord now peering at him with drunken menace and somehow holding another bottle of alcohol.
The lizard decided he didn't want to know how the naked Fleetlord had kept it out of sight until now. "I made a machine that can see through dimensions. Type in something you'd like to see and if theirs a dimension that fits it will show it."
Atvar glared at the scientist as the words slowly penetrated through the many layers of alcohol induced haze. "So's," he said finally, "iffen I types in say 'stupid Big Uglies fighten' blue cat people and dying, hehe, I'd shee it? For real and for true? Hehehe!"
"Yes, exalted Fleetlord."
Atvar shoved the scientist out of the way and stumbled over to the device, it looked like a big computer, he fondled it dreamily. "Oh yesh honey, you's and me ish gonna have SSSSOOOOO mush fun tog-hic-ether!" With a look of sheer pleasure in his eyes he turned on the machine.
The scientist saw the look of lust in his Fleetlords' eyes and shuddered as the drunken lizard shivered in delight. The machines screen lit up and Atvar stared drunkenly at it. With a shaking, hesitant hand and a look of fear flickering across his face, he typed in two simple words with extreme care. 'Atvar wins'.
The machine began to hum.