"But you know where you belong"
Author's note:Hey guys,Ever since I watched the TVD finale I wanted to write something like this and here I am. sorry for any grammatical errors and simple language because English isn't my first language.I hope it doesn't suck too much.
Here goes…
People are born,they live and then they 's what life is about.
What does living actually mean? Sure as hell that it is different for every individual but what is the only thing that's common for every Homo sapien?
Doesn't matter if someone is a vampire or witch,if they were originally human they will always have that thing .The thing is quite like a punch of fear,rage,love and all the confusing emotions. Emotions somehow give purpose and then we live;one way or the other.
It is different for everyone.
For Salvatore brothers in particular life was always about something to do with family and the toxic love which came as a by product.
Is this the same for everyone on this earth?Does family affect everyone like this?
Another fascinating characteristic of humans..they know who is their family,they just know it.
Not everyone being related to you by blood is family.
There's something so weird about the feeling of that blinding love and nothing else matters and you do the selfless things that'll usually matter don't matter anymore.
Is this suffocating?
Damon never understood the twisted reality of this bond. He was supposed to be perfectly happy.
He was was with the love of his life. The girl who brought him back to life,who tamed the monster within him, girl who showed him the good in world.
He knew what that meant and he felt the flutter of being in love. Whenever he would hold her hand,his heart would do weird things.
Everytime he looked at her;he knew this was his happy place.
He was not ready to accept the reality of the moment. He was sure it was some sort of a trick .According to him his brother just got married and last night they were partying together.
"You do know that you're my best man..",Stefan said as he stumbled through the caves.
"Yeah baby bro I know,who else would do that for you",Damon sang the words as he got hold of Stefan.
Stefan frowned at his brother as he continued,"Do you think I should do my hair differently…for the wedding?",he ruffled his hair with the free hand.
"Woah! you really are drunk.",Damon looked quite surprised.
"Well,because of you Damon",he chuckled, "now com'on answer the question."
"mm.. I don't know…you can try,it doesn't matter anyway",Damon finished his sentence and dragged Stefan out of the cave towards his car.
"It does,what if Caroline thinks it's stupid",Stefan pouted a little as if he was thinking it through.
Damon couldn't help but laugh a little as he settled Stefan into the front seat and walked to the driving seat.
"She likes you more than she likes your hair",Damon started the car.
"Plus you have hero hair ,they'll look good afterall brother,let's go home now.",Damon patted Stefan's shoulder as he sped to the 'home'.
Damon smiled as the memory flashed in front of his eyes as he stood outside the Salvatore graveyard. Then smile was replaced by a frown followed by secretive tears.
It was time to say goodbye.
After Stefan's death Damon would just walk around the Salvatore mansion with his bourbon. Elena knew he needed some time to make peace with the fact that his brother is dead and this time there is no other side or phoenix stone to get him back. He was actually dead.
He was standing in the middle of his living room,all sorts of pain rushing to him as he looked at the fire place and the couch.
"Are you drunk?"
"I don't know mom,am I?"
He laughed to himself as he reminisced the time when his brother was drunk partying with his dead-guest best friend.
Somehow he knows she'll be there with him;where ever he is.
In that moment he remembers the sight from a night one week back when his brother was sleeping there a night before his wedding.
His face formed a frown and then a tear slipped down from his eye. Only then he felt a warm hand clasping his,he turned around to see his brother's widow,smiling at him to console him as she couldn't stop the tears roll down her cheeks. He squeezed her hand as a form of reassurance .
For know he knew how to keep going and not surrender to the ineradicable darkness that cloaked him. He had to take care of her,she's the most precious thing he left behind , she was kind of a part of him and Damon had to be there for her.
Darkness,what form of darkness was this which made his life a roller coaster filled with happiness as well as darkness that prevailed in every wave of the air but at the same time it brought back the light to him.
Something was missing..so much so that he left his own house. It was like something haunted him, like someone's absence meant more than everyone else's presence.
What was that feeling?
What was that hollow?
Not that Damon didn't have a peaceful life with Elena but there was an itch. Damon was unable to describe that, it was even more difficult to make himself understand that why there was always a part of him that felt lost and maybe…guilty? Responsible?sad?
It could be all of the above.
Years passed,Damon used to visit the Salvatore graveyard thinking maybe that would help. That definitely helped because he'd be surrounded by a strong wave of warmth.
Temporarily.
But still…what was it?It pissed Damon off..what was so wrong and horribly missing about the life without his little brother.
There was a time when he thought that his brother wasn't important enough for him,slowly that changed because he found his true self and now when he was actually experiencing it..he was confused. He didn't want to walk away from the beautiful life he was gifted with .He wanted to live his life to the fullest. He wanted to live!But there was always a wait..in Damon's case there was more of a fear factor than the wait because he believed he'll never see Stefan again.
He was happy,very very happy so what was wrong then?
He was still the droll he had always been and he was still…you know..Damon but this was weird.
What's missing?
"Damon!this is not the time when you choose to go all sad!",Ric complained as he stared at the mirror reflecting Damon's figure all suited up in a black Tuxedo.
"I'm not sad Ric,I'm just ….emotional",he sipped his bourbon straight from the bottle like most of the times.
"I know what you're thinking but it's your wedding day and he wants you to be happy on this day. Trust me,so suck it up.",Ric left the room after giving him an understanding smile.
Damon looked at the ceiling as if he was contacting someone on the skies.
"It's my wedding day and it means so much less without you…I miss you little brother,plus my best man sucks,I would never let him do this if you were here Stef!",Damon let out a small laugh and cleared away any traces of the tears forming in his eyes as he walked out of the room.
When Elena would be on call,he would take long drives in his car, all alone..just to have some time trying to find a way to let go of the angst.
Bonnie was the only one who truly understood his coverted torment,she empathized with him because she knew the pain. Ric was mostly busy with the twins and the school and his was too afraid to share his sorrow with Caroline because he knew she was going through worse.
Why not Elena? because he feared he might mess up the happy times with her and she deserved better than forever mourning for his brother with him,also because he knew it was difficult for her too. So Bonnie would always sit with him in silence to let him know that he's not alone in this,that she knew. Those were the times when they talked about Enzo as well. WOW ! Damon lost one of his best friends as well. He missed Enzo too.
Talking with Bonnie would always calm him down,but the nameless and meaningless suffering kept crawling behind him.
Time kept flying.
He turned out to be an amazing dad.
Named his daughter Stephanie,whenever he called her…
"Hey Steph baby comehere!",everytime a face flashed in the back of his head.
"I used to call him Stef as well,my baby brother Stef",he told Stephanie as he tucked her into bed while telling her one of his brother's heroic stories. The sparkle in her green eyes (thanks to Salvatore genes) taking away the deep-rooted trouble , for a moment it would seem like he's in heaven. There was something so familiar in those eyes but then it would just go away when Stephanie would dose off in sleep.
Being a dad quite literally changed his life. It was more exciting now,he had something more useful to do. As Elena used to be a lot busy in the hospital so he would get extra time with little Steph. She was a lot like Stefan,may be they raised her like that or whatever but she was kind and calm and she did this thing with her eyes when she had to make a point. That was Stefan.
The real tragedy was when he used to be alone at home. He suffered from ennui and he craved to be with someone he loved because otherwise he woudn't be able to keep his mind off the terrible thing that happened years ago. Also he'd drown into the ocean of his bad deeds and events like Tyler's death would choke him mentally. He had kind of switched his humanity off for that part,he was astonished that humans could do a little of that. What he didn't get was that the cloaked dismay was a product of that.
Life was moving fast.
That didn't change the back story of Damon's life,he was still strangled in the elusive chains of God knows what that feeling was. The heartache felt the same. He thought he had eschewed that part of his life but no,that wasn't going nowhere. He tried his best to maintain the equipoise in his life. Sometimes, he was forced to think that Stefan caused him more trouble by dying,by leaving him behind. That left him confounded by his own thoughts.
Life didn't stop.
Now….
Honestly,he had made peace with the fact that this longing feeling was going to be with him forever until the day he dies(for him maybe after that because according to him he'll re-open hell) and he was ready to live with it because firstly he was happy and secondly he knew all it meant was that he missed his brother.
He tried to make up for the mistakes he made. He was a good person now, he raised his children right and gave his family all the happiness they deserved. He was the good Damon and he knew all that he felt was also a baggage of whatever wrong he did. He knew he did wrong at times and he embraced that... easy or hard,he did it anyway.
His walks with Elena,their hands entwined and that's how life was going..blissfully and peacefully.
He was a handsome and funny old man. Still the Damon everyone loved and hated. He was lucky to be with Ric when he died and he was lucky enough to have his three girls Elena,Bonnie and Caroline by his side when he was dying.
He gave the cure to Caroline so that she could take it if she ever wanted to.
"Don't ever do that because you're scared to live Blondie…do it when you actually want it.",he whispered to Caroline in his feeble voice.
He was ready to go now, he was done here. Now the real thing starts.
There was haze in the sky,The breeze was cold but warm enough to relieve his senses. The gleaming sun shone on his face.
He opened his eyes in his Camaro,in the Salvatore backyard.
He felt different,He was young.
Also like some sort of load was taken off of his shoulders. Now he knew what was happening and he smiled in a way he almost forgot he could.
He got out of the car and walked to the front door of Salvatore mansion. This was it..now he knew,he knew what was the torture that lingered through his soul when he was alive. It was the love that he had for his brother,it was the craving to be with him.
As he was just getting himself ready to knock the door,the door flung open.
There he was.
"Damon"
"Hello Brother",Damon said in the lowest tone possible.
There was something in his words. It was everything.
He hugged him,tight,with all the power. The pain was slowly going,the evanescent pain...it was all gone. He felt it and that was everything,even though he had his own new family when he was alive but what was this feeling which he was experiencing right now?
This was felicity,This was where he belonged. In all those years it was missing that's why he was always anxious...happy but anxious. Because deep down everyone knows what's missing.
Because you know what is going on and what you have to do even if that's not exactly how you planned it.
Because you know what's not possible and what's possible,that all you need is peace and you don't always understand why you feel like that but you know where you belong.
A/N:Thankyou so much for reading guys.I'm impatiently waiting for all the I was hoping to add Stefan's POV to it as well but then I figured If you guys will like it, I can do that your reviews and suggestions are R&R
Love VB :-*