Oy, do I have to do this again? All this legalism stuff really sucks. Disclaimer: [sigh] I don't own Lilo and Stitch people, they belong to Chris [cough, Christina, cough] Sanders. And I don't hate Chris Sanders; he's just fun to mess with. Heheh, Christina.

Bath Time

Gantu was relaxing in his chair reading the earth newspapers. They were very interesting, although he would never admit that to another alien or human, since he was a bad guy and ergo, not supposed to have any hobbies. "Hmm, interesting. 625 and I are both Leo. Funny, he doesn't seem like a Leo." Now Gantu would never, ever, be caught being interested in human astrology. If anyone found out, he'd be humiliated for the rest of his life. They would never get off his case. Then an alarm beeped. "Hmm. It's time for 625's bath."

625 was making sandwiches, as usual. "Aloha Oy. Salami on rye..." he sang happily as he wrapped up the sandwiches for later consumption. A shadow of dread and fear came over him as Gantu came into the room. It was...bath time. "625, it's time for your-" but before he could finish, 625 was already gone. The following excursion was similar to the one that Lilo has to go through with Stitch daily. Lilo and Gantu had more in common than they thought. Gantu had to find 625, which was surprisingly hard, and drag him into the bathroom, dump him in the tub, and lock him in. He wouldn't, however, give 625 his bath, because that was just plain weird. How would you feel if you had to scrub down your naked best buddy in a bathtub? Of course, it wasn't that simple. Today 625 was especially difficult. Gantu had 625 in his grips, but they were struggling on the ground. "Why...won't...you...take...a...bath!?" grunted Gantu. "Because...water...is...evil...and ...dangerous!" They were both on the ground now, sweaty and exhausted. Gantu then had an idea, sort of. He tied up 625, who still had a lot of fight in him left, and called Jumba. Normally he would never think of doing this, but this was a special occasion.

At Lilo's house, Jumba's communicator rang. When he answered, a face appeared on the screen, a face he thought he would never see on his communicator. "I need your he-" "I'm sorry, I don't answer to big dummies." Gantu sighed. "Well if you'll just listen to me-" "No! I will not be doing the revealing of important information about my genius experiments, not to you. And besides, I am still being mad at you for interrupting punch line." Gantu sighed again. "I'm not calling about the experiments. Not really. I just want to ask you how to get 625 to take his bath," said Gantu. "What? That is being very simple. Just be throwing sandwich in tub." "Huh? 625 is so obsessed with sandwiches that he'll even eat the ones that are soaked?" asked the giant, shark-like alien. Jumba responded laughing, "Oh no. Heh. He will be jumping in trying to save sandwich's life. Is how I was getting him to take bath before dehydration. Works every time." "Really? Wow, thanks." Just then fate decided that Lilo would walk inside Jumba and Pleakley's room. "Jumba? What are you doing?" Then she saw the communicator and Gantu's face on it. Immediately she went from nice, sweet, innocent, and slightly cast out little girl to raging, pissed-off voodoo priestess. "JUMBA! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE BIG DUMMY BEHIND MY BACK!!!?"

At his ship, Gantu watched the scene with amusement. It's just like a movie. "Uh oh. I am being very busted now. I...have to go." Jumba signed off looking really nervous and scared for his life as Lilo screamed in the background. Gantu threw one of 625's sandwiches into the water-filled bathtub and untied him. 625 immediately jumped in, screaming, "What the blitznak are ya doin'!!!?" Gantu left the room. "Enjoy your bath," he said and locked the door. 625 just had a confused look on his face. "Hey! That was a cheap trick!"

When he didn't hear any sound from 625 for fifteen minutes he went to the bathroom door. "625? Are you taking your bath? 625?" "What?" came the little golden experiment's reply. "You're not taking your bath, are you?" Gantu said, getting that look of being annoyed at someone's pathetic attempt to do something. His arms were folded, and his weight was shifted to one foot. "Uuuh...'course I am." 625 splashed some water. "That's it. 625, I'm coming in to make sure you're taking your bath!"

"No! Don't come in! I'm naked!"

"625, you're always naked!"

"..."

"625?"

"Shut up you hurt my feelings."

Well, that was enough. Gantu unlocked the door and went in. 625 was (surprise!) sitting on the floor attempting to resuscitate the soaked sandwich. "That's it, I'm giving you a bath whether either of us like or not!" "No! Get away from me, you whale-thing!" shouted 625. Gantu grabbed 625 and shoved him in the water, although not deep enough to drown him. He began scrubbing him down. "Hey! Stop that! Let me go, blubber-butt! Watch it with the patookie! Whoa! Hey watch it! That area is strictly off limits!" No, it's not what you think. And if you thought that, shame on you! You're a dirty-minded pervert! Anyway, back to the story.

"625! If you don't want me to touch your tail then wash it yourself!" said the former captain of the UGF. "Why do I hafta take a bath anyways? It's not like I sweat a lot!" "Just because we're the bad guys doesn't mean we can't keep clean! You can get a lot of things from bad hygiene, especially a horrible smell!" This kept up for about half an hour. Finally they were done, and 625 was free to wander off to sulk. "Blitznak. I need a shower," muttered Gantu. Unfortunately, the recent ordeal had exhausted their hot water supply, so Gantu had to settle for a cold shower.

Back at Lilo's house, Jumba was outside, facing the wall. He didn't understand why the humans considered this a form of punishment. It wasn't really that bad. It was bad enough, however, that the little girl was mad at him. And so was the walking noodle, Pleakley. He shuddered as he felt Lilo's glare down his back. It was almost as bad as his ex-wife's evil eye (what he considered to be one, anyway). Lilo said, "That'll teach you. Next time you'll think twice about fraternizing with the enemy!"

The End

Phew. That was my longest story yet. Please review!