English is not my first language.
This story takes place the night after Rue and Marvel were killed. The announcement about two possible victors never happens.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All rights go to Suzanne Collins.
"A good apology is like a farewell.
When you know you won't see each other again."
Zoran Drvenkar: "Sorry"
It was so cold. Freezing air was creeping up every little part of her skin it could find and she could not stop herself from shaking. She could see her own breath, she could feel her body go numb. The cold was keeping her awake. She feared that if she managed to fall asleep, she wouldn't wake up again. She feared, if she fell asleep, someone would come and slit her throat. She feared he would come. She feared him...
A little fire wouldn't hurt, would it? She's clever, she will hear him coming. She will know.
You wake up, startled, as if you can feel in your bones that something is not right. That feeling has woken you. Something is wrong. You look around and you know. You understand now. You knew, before you even looked, what had disturbed your sleep.
She wasn't even sure if she wanted to wake up. It'd be nice to just die in her sleep. So peacefully. So quietly. So meaninglessly. As if she was just any other normal person. As if she didn't have innocent people's blood on her hands. As if she wasn't responsible for all that suffering. She didn't deserve to die that way.
No fire. Stay cold. Shake. Keep yourself awake or die in your sleep. It didn't really matter to her anymore. She didn't know why she hadn't given up yet. Why hadn't she stay put and let her district partner end this? It could be over. It would have been over by now.
You don't know why you woke up all alone in the middle of the night. But then again, you do. You understand. It's pretty clear to you. You try to justify her actions. You seek for a deeper reason. It couldn't have been just the fear that made her leave, could it? She wouldn't do that. You know her. And yet, you doubt your judgment. Maybe you don't know her at all. Not anymore, at least.
So cold. Her teeth were chattering and she hugged her knees to her chest to keep herself warm. It was a natural human instinct; trying to survive even when she knew she didn't stand a chance at this point. She had no food, no shelter. Nothing. But she was still fighting. Still fighting to survive. Apparently, there was something humane about her, still.
You get up from the cold ground and decide to go in the woods, even though this was not how things were supposed to be. You feel extremely tired. You suck it up. You have no choice. You start feeling the rage building inside you. It's like a monster is slowly coming back to life. You're mad now. Furious. How could she?
She closed her eyes, imagining that she was somewhere else. Hoping that she could just fall asleep and dream and never wake up. She almost felt like praying to God she didn't believe in to take her. She'd end up going from one hell to another. But everything seemed better, compared to the alternative. She didn't want to die an ugly death, even if she deserved one. And she didn't want to win and be forced to become Capitol mascot. On President Snow's mercy. She didn't want to be those people's entertainment anymore. Enough was enough. Even for Clove, who against all odds, was not all bad, after all. Not everything about her was bad, murderous and vicious. That was not the plan, though. That was not what they wanted her to be, but she didn't give a damn. It was still her life. She deserved a little bit of control over her own thoughts and feelings. She was gonna die, anyway. She had spent a lot of time, wondering whether she should care what kind of impression she would leave, what people would remember her for, how they would remember her. But she was Clove. She never cared what other people thought of her. She just always played her part.
You walk through the woods for what seems like hours. You tell yourself you're not looking for her. But you've lied to yourself way too many times for one night. You are looking for her. She left. She left you to die. Fury is what's clouding your judgment. She will be sorry.
Freezing. But her eyes began to close despite that. She was so tired. Exhausted. She needed sleep. The more she felt herself falling asleep, the warmer she felt. It was nice. She stopped shaking now. Her muscles relaxed and she was almost sure she was dying.
It was so warm now. She could feel the hot air wrapping itself around her form. So nice. It had to be some sort of a really sweet dream. Or maybe she was being taken away. Maybe God had heard her after all.
You almost step on her. You look down and you can't help but smile to yourself. She was never good at simple things. Why would she be? She had never felt the need to hide. It was not her style. You knew you'd find her. You know her. You kneel down next to her and notice her pale face, the way her body trembles every other second and her purple lips. You wince.
So warm. So pleasant. She could spend the rest of her life, surrounded by this feeling. She only knew what it's like to feel cold and empty, so she never realized what she had been missing out on. Until now. It was a really good feeling. Like a breath of fresh air for someone who was locked in a basement all their life.
Out of the blue, she started to hear some cracking noises.. what was that? They sounded almost like a...
Her eyes opened and Immediately watered, as there was a small fire right by her head and the smoke irritated her eyeballs. She sat up quickly, startled. A big, black jacket she must have been covered with fell from her shoulders. She looked up and felt her heart in her throat.
You hear her waking up and you know it will only take her a second to recognize your presence. You know you're maybe a minute away from an attack. You wait.
He sure was there. Sitting on the other side of the fire he had for sure started himself. Sharpening his sword, focused and concentrated. A shiver ran down her spine at the sight of him. At the sight of Cato, looking so dangerous.
He found her. Of course he did... she knew she would never be able to hide from him. He was her partner for half of her life. He knew her. He knew her habits, her weaknesses. He knew everything.
She was good as dead the moment she had entered the arena.
You can't seem to find the guts to look up at her. You're not ready yet. You're still so angry. You don't want her face to erase the anger you're feeling towards her. You're scared that she may be able to put your monster back to sleep.
She just sat there, frozen. It was like that moment when one knows there's going to be a thunderstorm, but it's not quite there yet.
"Morning, Cloves." he growled, not looking up "how'd you sleep?"
She gasped, despite her attempt to try and stay quiet and strong. She was too scared at this point, though. She knew Cato. She had seen him kill and torture. She knew he wouldn't spare her from all this pain. He was most probably sharpening that sword for her.
He looked up now, his face wearing a hard, cold expression. No smirk. Not even a hint of one.
You look at her and you feel as if you're looking at somebody else. She doesn't look at you the way she used to for the last couple of years. She looks nothing like herself. She looks broken. Weak. You'd have no trouble punishing her. You grit your teeth.
God, she was good as dead. She was about to experience pain that she had made other people feel in her life. Now it was time to pay for her sins. She was going to suffer, ironically, by the hand of the one person that she would have possibly considered a friend in a normal world. If they were normal people.
But they weren't. And she knew he would kill her without a blink of an eye. She could practically feel the blade digging into her skin already.
She felt like she was frozen to the ground, while he stared at her so intensely. She could tell he was very angry. That would only add more pain to her already terrible death that he was definitely planning now in his mind.
You stare at her. The monster yearns to get out. You are so mad. You just want to get this over with. It has to be done. There is no other way. You just have to do it. You hate how you've been lying to yourself. You hate yourself. You hate what you've become. You were never supposed to be this person. You're trying to suffocate the real you and focus on the monster inside you. The monster knows better. It knows what has to be done.
There she was, just waiting for all this pain to start. She wasn't very surprised. She always knew she was doomed to die in the arena. As good as she was, she never really thought she'd make it out alive. And she didn't really want to. She was gonna fight him. It was an instinct.
"I asked you a question, little girl." he said, making her stop breathing for a few seconds "how did you sleep?"
She swallowed hard, putting one hand on her knife by her waist. His eyes wandered down from her face to her belt. She squeezed the handle so hard her knuckles turned white instantly.
"Sure that's a good idea?" he asked, surprisingly calm. She let out a breath she'd been holding since the moment she saw him. He looked back up in her eyes. "You wanna fight me, baby girl?" He was smirking now. She glared at him, getting angry and miraculously gaining some confidence thanks to that. She was about to die. But she was not a 'baby girl'.
"Do you?" she spat at him, still trying to pretend she wasn't scared of him. Even though it was too late for that. Everyone watching the Games knew that she was.
You can't believe her. Here she is, looking like a porcelain doll that you could crash with one movement. But she still wants to make it hard. So angry. The monster is like a flame that's licking on your insides. Just do it, you tell yourself. After all, it'll be super easy. Won't it?
His smirk started fading, as he got even angrier, having heard her voice so hateful, having seen her eyes so full of venom. But there was something else he could see, too. Fear. There was clearly fear, trying to hide behind the hate, that her beautiful, dark eyes were filled with.
"Scared of me, little one?" he asked, an evil smile coming back on his face "you are, aren't you?"
You see how terrified she is and the monster is pleased. But you're not.
She glared at him again, but he'd already noticed that she was trembling. She just wished she'd died before he found her. Now there was no escape. He was going to take his time killing her. For leaving him when she was supposed to keep watch. For taking the last of their food. For all she'd ever done wrong.
Maybe she still stood a chance. Maybe if she reacted fast enough...
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Cloves." he said casually, reading her mind "no need to make this even worse." he added, glancing at her, warning written all over his face.
You pray to God you don't believe in she won't do a thing. She can't be that stupid. You are having a hard enough time, fighting yourself on this. You don't need her little hands attacking you. You don't want to have to look her in the eyes. You don't want to have to touch her. You can't touch her that way. You will hate yourself even more. Not that it matters. Then again, it does. Because you're both still alive.
She swallowed hard and squeezed the knife even tighter.
"Don't, Clove." he almost barked. "Don't."
She couldn't stop the trembling. She was so afraid of what was about to come. But she still planned on fighting back. It was the least she'd be able to do. The least she could do to not act like a coward again.
The air between them was so tense one could cut it with a knife. Clove waited for the right moment to attack and Cato just sat there, smirking, but silently telling her not to attack. Warning her.
This was it, though. She snapped. She couldn't take it any second longer. It was time to end this. Why drag it out?
You know she will do it. You know her. You can read her like a book by now. You wonder does she know that? You wonder what could have been if you hadn't gotten yourselves in this mess? You wonder what could have been if you had lived in a different world?
She lunged forward, jumping over the small fire and her body collided with his. She was on top of him and her knife was ready in her hand. Ready to give him a fatal blow. But this couldn't have been that easy...
And easy it wasn't because a second after she was already unarmed and he was throwing her off of him harshly. She hit the ground and gasped, fear eating her from the inside. She was up on her feet before he could do so much as blink and she was already running off. She didn't get away too far. He grabbed her and roughly pinned her against the nearest tree, making all the air escape her lungs. She was trapped between the tree and his big form. One of his hand wrapped itself around her throat, as he held her there in a tight grip. He was panting and God, he looked so horrifying Especially when he had her on his mercy, his newly sharpened sword in his other hand by her head.
You can see you've caused her pain. You see her eyes all teary and it doesn't make you feel anything. The monster likes it.
"You're good at running away, aren't you, little girl?" he hissed, his face so close to hers she could feel his breath on her cheek. And it didn't help her calm down at all. She was dead already. "You're fucking great at leaving your partner to die cause you're too big of a coward to kill him yourself, huh?" he spat out, looking about ready to break all her bones. "You couldn't take that little hand of yours, reach for one of your knives and finish me, could you? So you fleed, hoping someone else would do it for you. Am I close?"
All the hatred vanished from Clove's eyes at this point, as she actually started to feel bad. She had betrayed her partner. She had turned out to be a coward. Yes, he was angry to the maximum, but he also felt betrayed. She'd just left him sleeping by a fire in the middle of the night, while she was supposed to have his back, while she was supposed to make sure no one would come and hurt him. But these were Hunger Games. She knew he was just waiting for a good moment to run her through with his sword. Why would she stay put and wait for him to do it?
You watch her eyes go soft now. You can't stand it. The monster hates this look she's giving you. You have to make her stop. You have to hurt her again. How dare she?
"You're so fucking scared of me that it's pathetic, Clove." he barked, squeezing her neck a bit, making her choke. Her fingers grabbed his hand, trying to release herself from him. It was nothing like she had imagined, though. He was being fairly gentle... for Cato. Oh he was going to take his sweet time killing her. She knew it.
"Want me to do it fast?" Cato asked, his eyes burning holes in her face "want me to do it painlessly, don't you?"
Now her lips started trembling along with her body. She was trying so hard to stay in character. To be the Clove everyone thought was fearless and unstoppable. But this fear was unbearable. She never had to be scared of anything before, as she had always been more than capable of defending herself. But this.. was something she was not prepared for. This.. was her feeling completely helpless.
You hate yourself. You're disgusted. Everyone is watching. You hate it. You hold your breath for a little while. Who are you? What are you thinking? What are you doing...
"Why would I, little girl?" Cato carried on, squeezing her neck tighter, making her eyes water "Why would I make it quick after you left me out there for certain death?"
He pulled his arm back, the sharp end of his sword inches away from her face.
"Cato," she gasped, her nails digging into his hand.
"What is it, baby girl?" he smirked evily. So vicious. She could tell he wanted her to beg. She had spent half of her life with this guy. Did that really not change anything? Was she about to suffer even more than the rest of the fallen tributes? One thing she knew for sure, though. She would not beg.
"Ready for this, kid?" he asked hatefully and she abandoned all her hopes for an easy death. She looked into his cold, murderous eyes, embracing the agony that was sure about to follow.
You look her in the eye. You see her, you really see her. You see the both of you. Together. At the Academy. Training together. Hours after hours. You remember how she used to smile when she thought you weren't looking. You remember her laugh. Not a girly, sweet sort of laugh. It was Clove's laugh. The one she would let out whenever she managed to beat the crap out of you. Because you let her. And she knew it. You remember that one remarkable time she gave you a half hug when you told her your only family, your only brother had just died in the Games. You see her. You see everything. All the time you had spent with her.
And then she closes her eyes. And the monster tells you what to do. You tell the monster to shut the fuck up.
She counted to ten in her head and closed her eyes, deciding she was not capable of staring him down while he pushed his weapon in her body. It was Cato, after all. She knew things would change once they both end up in this goddamn arena; she didn't blame him for whatever he was about to do. This is what they had trained for. She was just yet another tribute. Yet another kill. But she couldn't help but close her eyes, because she didn't want to see him do it. She wanted to remember him in the best way possible. As her partner, her training buddy. As a potential... friend.
Cato let out a scream of fury and slammed his sword forward, which she guessed was probably going to hit her arm first.
But it didn't.
Clove opened her eyes and faced panting Cato. The sword was stuck in the tree, inches away from her shoulder. She looked into his eyes, which were no longer cold or filled with hate. He was looking at her with a hurt expression on his face now. He let go of her neck and put his hands on either side of her head.
You hate yourself. You hate what you've become. You hate her because she's the reason. She's the reason you're so torn. It's all because of her. You should be the victor by now. You shouldn't care. But you do. You care to the point you wish you had never volunteered. You wish you hadn't been brainwashed into thinking you had to be here. That you had to train to become a killer. But you don't regret that part. That's how you met her. You just wish you were smarter.
She was still trembling slightly, but she returned his stare and waited for whatever was about to happen. She just wished he could stop playing and get this over with. The more she thought of all the things he was probably going to do to her, the more pain they would bring her.
'Just kill me already' she thought to herself and he must have noticed the pleading and daring look in her eyes, cause his eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth to say words she never would have thought she'd hear him say.
You can't believe her. You were sure she would not become this person. This scared, little girl you have completely at your mercy. She is not who you thought you knew so well anymore. Or maybe she's only the person you know so well. Maybe her monster has left her alone, too. Who is she? What is she thinking?
"You really thought.." he said, still breathing heavily "that I was gonna hurt you?"
Clove's face turned white and her shaking hands fell to her sides. She was paralyzed, still, by fear and confusion. What if it was just a trick? What if he just wanted her to think he wasn't gonna do anything? Just to play with her some more? Just to see what she'd do?
"Clove," he said and she froze, because she could swear his voice had turned soft. But that would be an absurd, wouldn't it? "Don't be scared of me." he whispered, almost asked her. It was not a demand. She parted her lips slightly, trying to calm her breathing, feeling her heart pounding in her chest, her blood running through her veins.
You're hurting. You can't stand the way she's looking at you. You can't stand the fear. She has to stop looking at you this way or you'll go crazy. You never thought you'd see her eyes so scared, that you'd see her so vulnerable. Because of you. It feels horrible. You don't want her to fear you. You want to see her smile again. Hear her laugh..
She just stood there, as shocked as she had never been before. There he was, sparing her life and not only that; he was also trying to reassure her that she didn't have to be afraid. What was she supposed to think now? The vicious, heartless Cato. Cato, who could kill with cold blood.
"Don't fear me." he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, making her stiff.
You needed it. The smallest skin to skin contact. You needed it to make sure that you're doing the right thing. The monster keeps quiet.
She licked her dry lips and was happy to notice that her breathing was going back to a normal rhythm. He must have noticed, because he stepped back, letting her get herself off the tree. She stayed put, though. He was gazing at her for a long while and then he shook his head slowly and looked away.
"Are you still scared of me?"
He wouldn't meet her eyes now and so she stood there, frowning and not recognizing this person in front of her. She was more than certain that he was going to kill her. That he was going to torture her. But now.. she started doubting. She started.. hoping.
"I'm not sure." she whispered and her voice sounded like it didn't belong her. She herself felt like those words came out of somebody else's mouth.
You can see how torn she is, as well. You know that feeling. You don't know what to do now. You've lost yourself. You've lost the monster. Who are you?
"We're near the big finale, now." Cato said "it is up to you if you wanna stick with me. It seemed pretty clear that you didn't. But you still can if you choose."
She pushed herself away from the tree slowly and rubbed her sore neck. He glanced at it and saw red marks that his fingers had left.
"Sorry about that." he said and he actually, genuinely looked like he regretted it "it's just that you pissed me off, Cloves." he added, smirking slightly. She looked up at him and, before she knew it, a small smile started forming on her face.
"I know." she replied and her eyes softened like they never had before.
There she goes. Showing you that beautiful smile of hers. It's probably the prettiest one you've seen so far. You feel relieved. It's like nothing has changed. She is still there. You are still here, too. Somewhere.
"Look, kid" Cato whispered, coming closer and she shivered a little, fear seizing her body again, as she took a small step back. He stopped immediately and gave her a look full of reassurance and regret. She had no idea what was happening to them and why it was happening. All she knew was that it felt good to feel something. Even if it was fear. Even if it was pain or hate.
"Don't be scared of me." he asked now "don't fear me, Clove, because I could never hurt you."
She could hear something in his voice. Something she didn't recognize. Something that soothed her fear, stopped her shaking. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but it made her feel good. Safe. At least as safe as one could feel in the arena.
"I'll go if you want me to" he promised, making her frown.
"Why?" she asked, hoping he'd understand what she meant by this question. She wanted to know. She had to know why he was acting this way. What made him so humane all of a sudden. What made him... care. The look in his eyes said it all.
"Because if we lived in a normal world and if we were normal people," he started, coming closer again slowly "you'd be my family and my only friend." he confessed and she knew he meant it. And she knew he was telling the truth. Even if he still planned on killing her in the end. He meant that.
"You'd be everything, little girl."
She didn't pull away this time and she let him trap her against the tree again, his arms on each side of her head. Sword still stuck in the trunk.
It started making sense now. Why he had made that fire. Why he had covered her with his own jacket, so that she wouldn't freeze to death.
"But we are not normal people." Clove said "and this is not a normal world."
"Yeah," he breathed, his face very close to hers now "which is why I can't promise you that if it comes down to you and me, I won't try to win."
"You said you would never hurt me." she reminded him, feeling anxious again.
"I don't have to hurt you to win."
The truthfulness of this sentence hit her. He was right. He didn't have to. They could just wait for the Game makers to send some animals or something of that sort and he could just easily leave her behind. He could let someone else do the job, too. He wouldn't have to hurt her. He'd still win.
"I can't promise you that I won't try to win when it comes down to you and me" he repeated himself and it seemed like it was hard for him to confess that to her, "but until then, I can promise you ... that as long as I'm with you..." she could feel his breath on her lips now "no harm will come your way."
She could barely breathe, amazed at how good this close contact felt and how it affected her body. A few days ago she would have killed him for coming near her. She would have killed him for going soft. But something changed and there was no going back.
"Promise?" she asked under her breath, shaking, but not out of fear anymore.
"I promise, Clover" he smiled "I promise."
And with that, just like that, his lips were on hers, letting her experience passion she never thought she'd feel. His kiss was surprisingly slow and soft. He placed his hand on her cold cheek and caressed it, as his lips carried on moving with hers in a rhythm. It felt incredible. She felt lust, but not for blood like she'd been taught to. She felt lust for him. For life they'd never have. Now she understood why some people in their district chose to do something so extremely foolish and love another person. She had always thought of them as idiots. She thought that there could be no love in the world they lived in. In a world where kids were trained to kill other kids for somebody's entertainment. In a world where parents had to lose their children as a punishment for rebellion they weren't even responsible for. Love? How was it possible?
Just when Clove thought he'd never stop kissing her, he did. He was breathing deeply, his hand still on her cheek, his other arm still by her head.
You can't believe what you just did. You can't believe how good it felt. You loved the taste of her lips and how natural it felt to be kissing her. You had to do it. At least once. Because you know you will never have her. Not if you lose... not if you win.
Minutes passed by slowly and they just stayed still, staring into each other's eyes deeply, knowing none of this was supposed to happen. None of those felings were supposed to be exposed. None of the words were supposed to be said out loud.
Their moment was over, though. Their little, tiny bubble burst. Died. Just like one of them would very soon.
"We should go now" Cato said, pulling away and grabbing the handle of his sword. She took a quick glance at it and he was pleased to notice she was no longer afraid. He pulled the sword out of the tree and gave her one last semi soft look before his eyes turned completely cold and vicious again.
"Let's go." he said coldly and started walking off. She stood there, watching him go for a little while, but she didn't hesitate to follow. That's how it was going to be from now on. Cato and Clove. Together. Until the end. Until one of them would face their destiny and become a victor.
Little did they know that they were not even 24 hours away from saying goodbye to one another. To their partner. To the only person in their life that meant more than nothing. Little did they know that this was the only chance for them to expose their feelings that they didn't even know they had before. Little did they know that their heads were barely above the water, they were both so close to drowning.
They didn't know that they were hours away from making a really bad plan.
"You go take care of that bitch from 12 and I will watch out for Thresh and the redhead." he told her, not a hint of softness to his eyes, no more smirks or half smiles. No more close contact. No more kisses. It was, as if nothing happened. She almost wished that he'd stayed the way he was that morning when he found her. She almost wished he still looked at her with so much passion as he had a few hours back. She almost wished he'd kiss her again...
"Clove."
She shook her head.
"What?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
She nodded shortly.
"Good. Stick to the plan and we'll be fine."
The fact that he said 'we' sent a slight shiver down her spine. Which she found pretty damn stupid. They were in the Hunger Games. There was no way out for them both. There was no way out for her. This was the wrong place and the wrong time to be feeling things like this. She chose a very bad time to start feeling anything at all. Death changes people, apparently. You have to face it or feel its throbbing breath on your back to understand yourself and to realize what you are and what you wish you could change. For Clove and Cato, it was way too late.
"Ok." she nodded again and started walking off, her back turned on him, feeling so scared again. But not of him anymore. Clove was scared of something else. She was scared for him. She was scared she wouldn't see him again. She was feeling way too many different emotions at the same time.
"Clove."
She stopped, swallowed hard and put on a hard face before looking at him over her shoulder questioningly.
And there it was. A hint of a human being in his hard eyes. A ghost of a friend. Lover.
She almost stopped breathing right then and there.
"Be careful, little girl." he said quietly, "Careful."
Clove couldn't help it. She sent him a small smile, feeling so warm inside. It truly did feel good. How she wished she had experienced that earlier. Before she had chosen to throw herself in this game along with her own partner. She had felt so cold and empty all her life. Except for now.
"You too." she said, purposely letting him sense by her voice that she was concerned.
"It'll be okay." he assured her "I got your back."
She smiled again. She believed him. She knew that if she could, if she knew how, if she hadn't been raised to be a murderer... he'd be the one she would love. And she knew that if he could, if he knew how, he would love her back. But they didn't know how. Not today. Not for now. Not in the world they lived in.
And they will never know.
But she believed he'd protect her. He had promised no harm would come her way. She wanted to believe him.
What she didn't know was that in a few hours from now, he would be screaming her name at the top of his lungs, running like crazy to try and save her. She didn't know he would come too late, that he would fail her.
He will drop to his knees by her side and hold onto her hand.
"Stay with me" he'll say. He will beg for her to stay. But she will look into his eyes and see betrayal. Because she will realize he had sent her out here to die. She will understand he never had her back. That he broke his promise. That he never intended on protecting her. That he could have stayed closer to Cornucopia. He could have run faster. He could have taken Thresh down in the woods.
She will see all of that in his eyes. She will curse herself in her mind for being so naive. She will realize she should have let him walk away. That she should have stayed afraid. That fear could have saved her life.
But she will not hate him. She will open her mouth to try and say that it's okay. That she understands. That she would have done the same. She had done the same. And she will know that the fact he wasn't able to kill her himself, just as she wasn't capable of killing him, makes them at least a tiny bit humane. She will take a shaky, husky breath and she will try to tell him all that.
But she will never get the chance. She will not be able to speak anymore. Not a word will come out of her mouth. She'll realize that everything she'd known before they came here was real. That who they were before they entered the arena was who they actually are. She will realize they were not the kind of people who knew what words like 'friend' or 'promise' meant. They were not one of those people who cared.
Fear will come back to her. But she will not be scared of him. She will not be scared of dying. She will be afraid of what comes after.
And right before life fades from her eyes, right before Cato sends her a teary look full of regret, that fear will finally leave her alone.
And she will not hear Cato's apology. She will not hear him cry softly above her dead body. She will not be able to see how he doesn't want to carry on. That he hates himself for letting her die. For breaking his promise. For his betrayal. That watching her die made him realize he had lost everything he had. She won't be there to see that anymore.
He will squeeze her cold hand and close her eyes. Canon will cut through the silence like a knife.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." he'll say. And he will be. Only.. it won't matter.
She will never know.
You die with her. The monster awakes. You're not there anymore.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's all right because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.
But that's all right because I love the way you lie."
A/N: I hope you liked my story and will leave me a little review! Thanks so much for reading. :)