I was in Italy with my friends and we were climbing up Mount Vesuvius. Got to the top, and I fell into the crater, and I was plummeting to my death, when all of a sudden a person caught me and WHO SHOULD IT BE but Marius Pontmercy, and he took me through this labyrinth and he's got this underground lair and Grandad's there, and Marius says "I would like to ask your grandfather for your hand in marriage,"
I don't know why he asks my grandfather rather than my father, but, oh, well.
So Grandad says yes, and me and Marius get married and fly on jetpacks to the top of the mountain and greet all of my friends as sexy Frenchman and wife, and all my friends think Marius smells really nice and then they ate him and that, my friends, is the story of how I became a cannibalised widow at the age of 14.