Hijikata Toushirou was fairly certain that if there was one single worst possible scenario to successfully manage an escape, that he was in it.
He was being led down a corridor, he guessed to some sort of brig. His feet ached as the heavy metal cuffs rubbed against the bones in his ankles. He tried not to stumble as he shuffled down the corridor, being half-drug along, his hands securely bound together with a thick rope, the other end being held by an amanto almost as tall as he was, but nearly twice as wide. Overpowering it was out of the question, given the difference in girth.
Earlier, when the creature had pulled too hard on the leading rope and Hijikata had fallen from the unbalance, he had gotten a look at the creature's piercing, unfazed stare, along with a wide yellow beak that must serve as a mouth, although Hijikata hadn't heard it speak. The amanto merely pulled out a white signboard that said, "Watch your step and keep up!"
It was dead silent the whole time, and Hijikata found the whole experience unnerving. The creature had even included a "fufufufu" at the end of his placard.
The fact that his sword was not at his side was causing him a sort of mental itch. Hijikata internally cursed at his predicament. He wasn't sure who exactly he was more angry with. Sougo, for getting him caught, or himself, for falling for Okita's trap. In hindsight it was painfully obvious that the whole operation tonight had been a setup.
It had started with Sougo coming to his room this morning, saying that they had a unconfirmed lead on some Jouishishi terrorists. These particular terrorists were not only wanted by the authorities, but also by a Yakuza gang for stealing some serious no-nonsense weapons and ammunition. The Shinsengumi had been on the lookout for them in hopes that they could catch them and confiscate the weapons before the Yakuza did.
According to Sougo's report, those same terrorists were planning on stowing away on a ship to escape Edo. The info was unconfirmed, however, so someone needed to go confirm it, and as Yamazaki was currently on a stakeout, Hijikata decided it was easier to do the job himself.
Just like the sadistic brat knew he would.
Most unfortunately, recon from a distance hadn't been enough. When Hijikata saw about a half-dozen men sneak onto a ship, he used his radio to call for backup and then decided to follow the terrorists aboard before they could find hiding spots. He wasn't quick enough to catch up to them, however, and while he was sneaking around trying to find them, he realized three things.
One, he was not aboard a passenger ship. It looked like a cargo ship. Second, the cargo he did find made it highly likely that this was a smuggling vessel. And that was just what he needed to deal with tonight, a combination of pirates and terrorists. The third and final thing he realized was that he had not turned his radio off before coming aboard. Naturally, Hijikata was made aware of this fact right when a member of the ship's crew was passing by his hiding spot, and Hijikata was trying to become as invisible as possible.
"Hijikata-san! Hijikata-san! The men are all here, which ship exactly are you on?" Sougo's bored drawl blasted from his pocket and by the time he turned the damn thing off, most unfortunately he had been noticed and apprehended by this white-clad monstrosity.
Leave it to Sougo to turn a good lead on some terrorists and try to use the lead to kill him, and, well, maybe catch the terrorists, too. Killing him was what these pirates were sure to do if they recognized that had the vice-commander of the Shinsengumi on their ship.
"Damn that Sougo!" Hijikata cursed as he continued to shuffle down the corridor.
Eventually, he was tugged through an archway at the end of the corridor, which opened up to what was clearly the bridge of a ship. Plainly visible through the windows were the lights of Edo in the distance, their reflection dancing across the waters of Edo bay.
Hijikata shook his head a little to distract himself from the mesmerizing display. "Focus, focus..." He mentally told himself. The fact that the shore was that far away was bad news. They had already cast off. He could barely make out some red flashing lights, most likely from Shinsengumi patrol cars, by now almost a mile away. He looked around the cabin, expecting to see more crew members, or perhaps maybe the captain. He looked for some reason that would explain why he had been brought here, but apart from himself and the alien, the room was empty.
He sensed a movement from the creature next to him. Turning to look, he saw it holding up another sign.
"Captain, it seems a stowaway has snuck on board. What should I do with him?"
Hijikata was perplexed. Captain? Where? He started to scan the cabin again.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Laughter boomed throughout the enclosed cabin.
Hijikata froze, his eyes being drawn to the only movement in the room, a chair that was slowly swiveling around so the occupant would face him and his captor.
"A stowaway, huh?" A voice said.
"Oiii! You're not even facing us yet, how do you even know what the sign said?!" Hijikata thought.
"Bring him closer, Elizabeth, I want to see the face of this wretched soul."
"ELIZABETH?! What kind of disgusting name is that? Well, the name itself isn't disgusting, but when applied to this creature it is definitely disgusting!" Hijikata thought, his face aghast. He didn't even notice that his captor was tugging at the rope, trying to obey the Captain's orders.
Finally getting annoyed, with an almighty tug Elizabeth pulled the rope so hard that Hijikata fell, face-first, onto the cabin floor. Grimacing at the pain, he felt his body being drug across the cabin floor until he was at the feet of the man sitting in the chair. Propping himself up on a forearm, he grudgingly looked up, a defiant look in his eyes.
The face of the dreaded space pirate, Captain Katsuura, loomed over him. It was a face that any special task force police officer worth his salt would know. The captain had one leg crossed over the other, leaning back in a relaxed position, an elbow propped against the armrest, the hand attached to that arm cupping his chin.
"You know, Elizabeth, truth be told, it's been so long since we've had a stowaway these days that I'm having a hard time recalling what we do with them."
Up popped another sign. "Make him swim with the fishes! (fufufufu)"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Again laughter boomed throughout the cabin.
Hijikata had the distinct thought that this manner of laughing did not suit the man at all. He looked like an idiot when he laughed, rather than the nefarious pirate that had earned the nickname of "The Black Death." Whether his opinion was merely his nervousness at the suggested death sentence, or if Captain Katsuura really was an idiot, Hijikata couldn't be sure. Once again, the absence of his sword on his left hip irritated him more than ever.
"The Black Death" turned to the space creature. "Right you are, Elizabeth. As expected of my first mate! You do seem to like that punishment, don't you?"
The creature merely stared ahead with its dead, expressionless eyes. That expression was starting to get on Hijikata's nerves.
"Before the sentence is carried out, let us first become acquainted with our guest." Captain Katsuura stated. He directed his attention to Hijikata. "What is your name?"
"What's the point of getting to know your victims?" Hijikata replied with a surly mutter.
"Hmm..." Captain Katsuura mused. "True, but you could think of this as your only chance to change my mind."
Hijikata sighed, figuring that it was easier than taking on the whole ship if he could convince the Captain to help him.
Trying to avoid suspicion, Hijikata confidently stated the first two names that came to his mind.
"Sakata Tamegorou."
Captain Katsuura looked mildly surprised.
"Hmm…really?" He mused for a few moments. "I have a childhood friend named 'Sakata.' Perhaps you are related? His pet, Sadaharu-dono, is a lovely creature, even if he is poorly trained."
"I have no family, err, Captain."
Hijikata inwardly kicked himself. It was shameful enough to sully his brother's name in a place like this, but 'Sakata?' What kind of a name was that? And what kind of bad luck was it that Captain Katsuura actually knew a guy with a name like that? Now he would be memorable, which is the opposite of what he was going for here. He needed to be in, out, and then forgotten about.
"That's too bad..." The dread pirate space captain mused. "Well, Sakata-san, would you mind kindly telling me what exactly brought you to my ship? What exactly did you stand to gain by coming here besides a premature death?"
Not for nothing was Hijikata referred to as the brains of the Shinsengumi. He had hatched a plan during his long walk to the bridge, in case he was asked this question. In cases like this, it was easiest to tell something as close to the truth as possible, that made it more believable. Since only an idiot would wear a police uniform to a stakeout, the civilian clothes he was currently wearing were nondescript, and he was not about to explain that he was a cop.
"I'm not a stowaway, and I'm no thief." Hijikata declared arrogantly, trying to imitate the yakuza thugs he was used to interrogating. "I didn't even know who this ship belonged to when I snuck aboard. I'm here because I'm looking for someone, and that person happens to be here on your ship."
"Ho~oh?" Captain Katsuura responded. "Is he one of my crew, Sakata-san?"
"I don't think so. Not unless your crew feels the need to board your ship by sneaking on. Or unless your crew is full of so-called Jouishishi 'patriots' who like to steal from Yakuza." Hijikata replied with a derisive sneer.
Captain Katsuura started. "There are Jouishishi members aboard my ship?" He asked, his voice instantly more serious.
"Yes... er, Captain." Hijikata replied arrogantly. "We got a tip that they were going to try and skip town tonight, and my boss sent me to catch them and bring 'em in before they got away. I have to have a nice, long conversation with them about some business transactions before I bid them goodbye."
The thought of making Sougo answer for the mess he now found himself in was also on Hijikata's mind, making the menace in Hijikata's face and voice genuine, as expected of the demon Vice-commander.
"I see..." Captain Katsuura replied. "There was a time where I was sympathetic to the Joui cause. I even helped them with a few shipments back in the day. But traveling through the galaxy, and gaining more and more amanto crew members, I suddenly found myself unwelcome in their circles. In fact, last time I was on Earth they left me a ... rather unpleasant gift. I'm afraid I find their presence on my ship rather unwelcome."
"Captain Katsuura." Hijikata addressed the pirate directly. "To make up for sneaking aboard you ship, allow me to assist you in catching those scoundrels. It would be my pleasure to then escort them from your ship, as well as take my own leave when the time comes."
"The punishment for stowaways is to walk the plank." Captain Katsuura replied, eying Hijikata shrewdly for a long moment. Then he finally opened his mouth and said, "However, if your story plays out, you would not be considered a stowaway, I suppose. And I daresay that I will even allow you to conduct your…business…with these gentlemen before we do our own punishment.
"I wouldn't have it any other way!" Hijikata answered.
"Very well, Sakata-san." Captain Katsuura said. Then, turning to his subordinate he said, "Elizabeth, gather the Harlock crew. They should have been on watch when the stowaways snuck aboard, let them make up for their mistake.
Another sign. "Aye, aye sir."
"And tell the rest of the crew to stay in their quarters. It'll make searching for the stowaways easier. Issue a code "Lafresia" until further notice.
The sing was flipped over. "Yes, Captain."
The Amanto exited the bridge, its feet slapping loudly on the metallic floor.
"Now, Sakata-san. We have a slight problem. Do you see those flashing lights over there?" Captain Katsuura pointed to the shoreline where the red flashing lights of his men's patrol cars still were.
"Un." Hijikata nodded. "They most likely belong to the Shinsengumi. I was entrusted with this job to beat them to our Joui...friends." He grinned menacingly.
"Right." Captain Katsuura agreed. "The problem is, unless I am mistaken, you do not have transport off of my ship, and I really don't want to risk a run-in with the Shinsengumi to give you a ride home."
"Ah. If it's about that, I have a solution. If I could get my radio and my sword back, I'm pretty sure I can get someone to come out and pick me up." Hijikata responded.
"Very well, then. I will have Elizabeth return your items when she returns."
So the thing was a female now? Hijikata tried and failed to conceal a grimace.
Some time passed before Hijikata thought to say, "I'm surprised you let them just walk the plank. From here they could probably swim to shore. That's pretty merciful for a pirate. We're usually a bit more...strict with our punishments."
"Well..." Captain Katsuura responded. "It would be...if it weren't for the 10 kilo cannonballs we tie around each of their limbs."
"Ahhh, that there is more my style." Hijikata said with a chuckle.
It was a few more minutes before Elizabeth returned, along with several human and Amanto pirates.
"Where's Gintoki?" Captain Katsuura asked.
From out of nowhere a sign popped up. "Couldn't find him, sir. His men say he is probably sleeping somewhere."
Captain Katsuura sighed. "All right then. Men, we have some stowaways to look for. Sakata-san, if you'd be so kind to give us descriptions of the stowaways."
Hijikata started, not expecting to be addressed, but he recovered quickly. "Right. Well, there were 6 men. All dressed like ronin, but with ridiculous black jackets over their kimonos. They all snuck aboard and went below deck at the nose of the ship."
"Do you hear that you space dogs?" Captain Katsuura barked. "They're probably in the cargo holds. I want you lot to find them and get them ready for a walk!"
"Aye, aye, Captain." The crewmembers shouted, grunted, and wheezed, according to their species.
"Elizabeth, I need you to direct the search of the cargo holds, and then return Sakata-san's belongings to him."
"Aye, aye, Captain" Appeared on a sign.
Captain Katsuura pulled Hijikata aside as the amanto held up signs dictating the details of the crew's search.
"Don't forget to contact your friends, Sakata-san. I intend to leave for space immediately after we dispose of our unexpected guests."
"Yes, sir! And thank you, sir!" Hijikata said stiffly.
With a final shout, grunt, and wheeze identifiable by their individual species, the crew members shuffled out of the bridge.
The alien walked up to him and held up another sign that said, "Follow me." It then turned and led him through a different door leading out of the bridge. They walked down a corridor that looked like it was the living quarters. Curious faces, human and amanto alike, peered out of cabin windows as they passed.
Finally the...erm...first mate stopped at a cabin at the end of the hall.
It opened the door, and Hijikata saw a small cabin with a single bunk.
He looked questioningly at his captor-turned-companion.
"Your radio is on the desk, sword is to the left of the desk." He read off yet another sign.
"When does it even write on those?" He thought grumpily as he retrieved his items.
He turned around to see a familiar sign.
"Follow me."
He followed Elizabeth down the corridor and through a door until they were out of the living quarters. He followed the amanto down another corridor and through another door. He looked around and guessed by the amount of open space and increased headroom that he was in a cargo hold.
He went to catch up to his companion but a white-clad outstretched arm stopped him short. The amanto was holding up another sign.
"This is an auxiliary cargo hold. We have several on this ship. We will search this one before joining the rest of the crew at the main cargo hold."
The amanto was looking at him out of the corner of its eye.
He nodded. "I got it."
The sign flipped over.
"You start on the left side, I'll check the right."
Another nod. "Understood."
He turned and walked to the left. The cargo hold was roughly divided into aisles, storing various crates and bundles on haphazard shelves. Hijikata was getting more and more twitchy the further he searched the hold. Most of the items he could identify were items that the Shinsengumi spent half their forces trying to keep off the streets of Edo.
He took a deep calming breath as he reached into his yukata and pulled out his lighter and a pack of Mayoboros. He took a cigarette out and stuck it between his lips. He had to let the contraband go. If he blew his cover here he was a dead man. He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, letting the smoke permeate his lungs. He repeated the ritual a couple more times before he continued the search. His objective was clear: to get the Joi and get out ASAP.
He rounded a corner when the sound of soft snores met his ears. Exploring further he found the source of snores to be a man, cleverly hidden between and behind some crates, sound asleep. If he hadn't heard the snores, he wouldn't have guessed a man could fit there. Even so, Hijikata rolled his eyes. Seriously? Just how inept were these Joui? Letting their guard down so much that they actually fell asleep? It was a miracle they'd managed to lift such heavy artillery off the yakuza, let alone stay out if the hands of the Shinsengumi.
He kicked the crates where the Joui was sleeping.
"Oi, you. Get up." He growled.
There was only the response of more snores.
Hijikata kicked the crates again, with more vigor this time.
"Get up, you useless crook."
"Today's supposed to be... lucky for me. Ketsuno Ana said so... in her dark horoscope..." a groggy voice responded.
Hijikata kicked the crate again. He was met with a fresh wave of snores.
Angry and out of patience, Hijikata reached over the crate, grabbed hold of the man's silver curls, and pulled none too gently.
"Ow ow ow! Dammit, that hurts! What do you think you are doing, you bastard?!" The man shouted at him.
"You have a lot of nerve, you scum." Hijikata responded, menace oozing in his voice. "Thought you'd gotten away scot-free, huh?"
"Who the hell are you?"
Hijikata didn't answer, just kept pulling the Joui out of his hiding place.
"Oi oi oi oi oi! What did Gin-san do to deserve such rough treatment?"
Hijikata got the Joui on his feet and gave a menacing sneer in his suspect's face. "Don't play dumb. Let's start with stealing from yakuza and then trying to escape by stowing away on this ship. Where are your comrades?"
A hand gripped Hijikata's shoulder. Or was it a ... flipper? He couldn't tell. He turned to see a sign held up by the first mate.
"Sakata-san, this is the ship's second officer."
Hijikata took a minute to process, and then let go of the man's hair without a word.
The silver-haired man rubbed the back of his head, then proceeded to yell at Hijikata.
"Finally! You should treat a person's curls more gently! I put up with enough grief just for having them!"
The real Sakata then turned his head to the first mate.
"And I know I'm the second officer, you asshole!"
Another sign popped up.
"Sakata-san is a yakuza helping us find some stowaways."
"What did you just call me?!" The second officer screeched, a visible tick going in his forehead.
Elizabeth was about to pull out another sign, but Hijikata decided to intervene.
"You're Sakata-san, the second mate?" Hijikata asked.
"I just said that, are you deaf?" The man replied irritably, unwillingly meeting Hijikata's gaze.
Hijikata took a drag on his cigarette and exhaled before answering.
"I'm Sakata the yakuza, nice to meet'cha."
Understanding washed across the other man's face. He looked over Hijikata's shoulder at the first mate.
"Oi, you. What do you think you're doing, letting a yakuza on this ship?"
Up popped a sign.
"Captain's orders, Sakata-san."
"What, seriously? Man, what is Zura thinking?"
Hijikata watched mutely, leisurely smoking his cigarette, as the two senior officers of the ship discussed the stowaways. Finally the real Sakata turned away from the Amanto.
"Tch. So all we have to do is find them and then we can get rid of this guy, huh?" He said grumpily.
"I'll be more than happy to get out of your...hair...after my business is done, pirate." Hijikata replied with a hint of a smirk.
The dig at his hair made the real Sakata rub the back of his head unconsciously.
With a resigned sigh he said, "Then let's find these guys and sink them."
He turned and the now-trio resumed the search of the cargo hold.