Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin or any of the characters. Rights go to Hajime Isayama.
It wasn't as if he didn't like him. No. It really wasn't like that. Maybe it started out as some petty rivalry, but it never boiled over to something more. It never passed the point of nonsensical scuffles at breakfast or childish fist fights over Mikasa (although he was sure the little brat didn't even realize who they were over). They were two people with clashing personalities and yes the other boy got on his last damn nerves too quickly sometimes, but he could never hate him. Not when there were so many other things in the world that he felt deserved hate more.
Too eager to die. Suicidal asshole. Reckless idiot. Those all came to mind when Jean thought of the one called Eren Jaeger. He'd long since passed the point of calling him such names daily that it'd be practically impossible to take them all back. It'd go against their daily routine if he didn't call him one of those crude names at least twice a day. Once a day for a minimum. It was just how things were.
The first time he seemed to connect with Eren (if only for a little bit) was a few days after he officially joined the scouting legion. He was so full of fear and doubt and he didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was the words of Marco that constantly ran through his head – you understand the feelings of the weak. Maybe it was because of the look of sheer regret that would suddenly end up plastered all over Connie's face every so often. Maybe it was because he just needed to know for himself. Maybe it was just because it had been so long since he saw the boy. So long since he yelled at him and let whatever negative feelings he had burst out. Whatever the reason was, Jean let his mind go at it. All the doubts and fears that were drowning him were all splashed upon the Jaeger boy's face.
"Why are you asking all these questions now, Jean?" Mikasa's frustration with his aggravated answer seeking was becoming apparent. Her eyes analyzed him. A frown made its way upon her lips. Normally he'd be pleased with himself for being able to obtain her attention if only for .5 seconds, but now wasn't the time. Now wasn't the time for that.
"Listen, Mikasa. The thing is, not everyone is like you. We're not willing to give our lives up for Eren without anything in return." His eyes went from the oriental beauty to the wide-eyed brunette. "We need to know what we're dying for or else we'll hesitate when the time comes." His fierce, serious gaze never left Eren's face.
"And so," he continued as he stomped towards the other boy, "Eren! Eren, I'm really…I'm really counting on you!" That was it. He had reached his breaking point. His hands were shaking. He was trembling viciously as he clutched onto the other boy. The two just stared into each other's eyes until –
"Y-yeah."
It was a weak reply. If it were anyone else he might've just lost all hope right then and there. But. But this was Eren Jaeger. Despite the lack of confidence in what he said verbally, Jean could see all he needed to in his eyes. All the determination that was placed in humanity's newfound hope could easily be seen in his eyes. That was all he needed.
The second time their interactions didn't graze over to pointless yelling was right before the legion set out on their mission. It would be a run through. A trial if you will. It was supposed to get Eren and the other soldiers prepared for when they'd try and take back Wall Maria and find the basement that was supposed to be full of hell he didn't know what.
Eren was petting his horse. Even from afar Jean could see how troubled and scared the other looked. It seemed like he was patting down his horse and putting on a fake smile - more to calm himself down rather than to pamper the animal. Jean would be damned if he let the pillar of the mission shit in his pants before they even started. Sure, he was scared too, but now that they were in the midst of preparing and right in front of the wall, all that fear had to be set aside. At least, all the fear had to be forced back into his trembling heart and not spewed all over his exterior. Trembling hands could get him killed out in the field if he wasn't careful.
"Jaeger! Oi, Jaeger!" Jean's persistent shouts were lost over the commotion that had already begun. Civilians were lining up at the sides and gossiping and talking and praying. As if it weren't noisy enough with the legion members alone. "Jaeger!" He pushed his way through the crowd, making sure his horse glided through the masses right behind him. Finally, after a few shoves, a kick to the shin, and more than enough nips to the head, he had arrived where he wanted.
"J-Jean? What are you doing over here? Aren't you supposed to be on the right flank or….or maybe I got that mixed up. Shit! I should've written it down somewhe-"
"Jaeger, do me a favor and keep your piss from running down your legs. We're about to go into titan infested territories and the last thing we need is for our super boy to go die a meaningless death just because his sweat got in the way of his fucking sight."
"….Right." In any other situation this would've called for more than a few exchanges of swear words and shoves. Right now all Eren could do was nod and try to take the advice. "Right, I'm sorry." His hands clenched and unclenched until finally they stayed in a tight ball. His eyes were casted downwards. "I won't ruin this."
The look on the titan shifter's face made Jean's heart falter slightly. Slightly and only slightly. If anyone else said otherwise then they were a lying shithead.
"Come on. Eren, if you say it like that I can't have much faith in you doing your job right when the time comes."
The two met each other's eyes and that was all there needed to be to it. With a firm nod of the head, Eren began to hoist himself up on his horse. "I promise you, Jean. I swear on my life that I will not die until mankind can live happily without those bastard titans."
There he went with the dying talk again. "Just try not to die at all," he mumbled under his breath. "Okay, that's good enough for me. Don't fuck this up man," he growled although a nervous smile graced his features.
"Yeah, sure. I'm not backing out," Eren replied with an equally nervous smile. Nevertheless, they were smiles just the same and the moment was pleasant. Sadly it was broken in a matter of seconds. Jean nodded back and stationed himself at the correct position with the other new recruits. He was still nervous as all hell, but as long as the shifter was as determined and stubborn as he was, he had faith that even if he did die, it wouldn't be in vain.
"30 seconds until the gate is opened!"
It was time to go beyond the wall.
The third time they interacted with fairly positive attitudes towards each other…..well there was no third time. If anything, Jean was the most pissed at the Jaeger boy during this time period.
"Dammit!" His hands were formed into fists as he gritted his teeth together. This wasn't supposed to happen. The dumb suicidal asshole was supposed to be there for mankind. He was supposed to be there for the legion. But instead he got himself nabbed by a bunch of rotten traitors. Eren was kidnapped! The little shit had the nerve to get whisked away like that!
He was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be there for Jean. As annoying as the boy was, Eren was Jean's pillar. That boy was his hope and happiness in these dark times. Without him….without him, what would he be dying for? Damn that dirty, freakin' punk!
Humanity's strongest was still unable to battle efficiently, humanity's second strongest was nowhere to be found, the 104th graduates' top soldier could only look at the sky with a sullen expression…..Dammit! Just what the hell was he dying for here?! Was he dying for such a dark reality? Without Eren everything just wasn't as sunny. All the faith that he had once placed on making it through this hell was now draining away.
He knew they were in the midst of a rescue plan. Mankind's most genius strategists were trying to work things out. He knew that. But how was he supposed to gain the strength to save Eren when he needed Eren to gain strength.
"This is all you fault, Jaeger," he seethed. Half sobs were stuck in his throat as he rapidly rubbed any traces of the start of tears. "This is all your damn fault, Eren."
ohgod this was written at four in the morning. I'm probably gonna regret it but jean x eren = uncontrollable amount of feelings. idek if this is romance or just heavy bromance or smth
comments and feedback are always lovely. Thanks for reading xoxo.