Pairing: Clarke/Anya
Anya gets a strange text that might manage to salvage her evening, and give her a trip down memory lane
Modern AU/Fluff/Minor Smut
9:22PM
Unknown Number
If you give me pizza, I'll let you touch my butt
Anya found herself staring hard at her phone screen, not at all sure what prompted someone to text her such a message, and definitely perplexed at who it could be. She wasn't ignorant of booty-calls, she'd certainly had her fair share during University, but social media had been sloppier and less refined back then. She was on the older side of twenty-five now, and things like that, while they still happened on occasion, were rare.
So needless to say, despite the confusing situation, she was a little amused at the possibility of someone getting her number and sending her one. Or, at least, someone misdialing and sending the wrong person a booty call. Honestly, that might almost be better.
Anya knew she could handle this one of two ways. She could be a mature adult and ask who was calling, potentially helping the other person realize their error, if the message wasn't meant for her. Because, really, it likely wasn't meant for her, and someone would have to be brazen about the situation to continue after that kind of response.
Or, she could amuse herself, because she WAS terribly bored, with her weekly girl's night having been cancelled short notice after she'd gotten half her prep done. Something like this could kill a few minutes and give her a funny story to tell friends next week, at the very least.
"To hell with it, let's shake off the rust and have some harmless fun." She muttered to herself, starting up a reply.
9:24PM
Anya
Enticing offer. Tell me more...
Anya figured it'd be best to maybe lead in with a more teasing angle than something more brazen that could end the interaction faster if she messed up.
9:25PM
Unknown Caller
Wellllll I'm super hungry, and I just finished an intense 30 day squat workout at my gym, so you can get in on this prime real-asstate for the low low price of a pizza. Pepperoni-pineapple to be specific
Anya leaned back into the couch and let out a laugh at the response. Either the person was drunk, or desperately hungry for a few things. And to be honest, pizza really didn't seem like such a bad idea. Still, she had no clue who this was, and maybe prodding around could help.
9:26
Anya
You're pushing your assets pretty confidently. How do I know if it's worth the price of entry?
9:28
Unknown Caller
Haha as if you need a reminder but alright. All this can be yours for one easy payment of delicious pizza, complete with the Griffin seal of approval
Anya didn't have long to digest the caller's message before a second one with an image popped up. And try as she might, Anya could not look away, because that really was a premium grade ass. Glorious, even. Whatever squat workout the girl had been doing was definitely worth it, in her books. It was a picture from behind, the girl facing away from the camera and leaning onto her bed, a head of thick, wavy blonde hair spilling past her shoulders.
Anya was definitely intrigued, even if this was still completely out of the blue, especially since the unknown caller really had seemed to send her message to the wrong person. She reluctantly scrolled back up to the previous message and took it in, eyes fixating on 'Griffin'. She knew that name from somewhere, but was having trouble recalling from where.
Anya was just getting ready to type another probing, vague reply when it hit her.
Griffin. She had neighbours down the street with that name, she helped them lose a few pounds a few years back when she was still working as a personal trainer during Uni. Nice people, Jake still occasionally stopped by for gardening tips on occasion. They'd even invited her over one New Years' for their block party, and they'd been hilarious drunks, and their daughter...
"Oh fuck." She muttered, cursing herself internally for having entertained the text at all now, because it only took a glance at the picture again to confirm it was their daughter, Clarke.
Clarke, who was five years younger than her. Clarke, who was like sunlight personified, just fucking radiant in her beauty. Clarke, who once had a big teenage crush on her, and had drunkenly asked her out a few years ago at the party before the girl's more sober friends could haul her away. Clarke, who used to ogle her ass when she was out in her front lawn, gardening. Clarke, who had moved away across town to be on her own and study art, much to the chagrin of her mother, though Jake never seemed to mind too much.
Clarke, who had been out of bounds for so long that Anya had eventually forgot about her. Clarke, who was probably twenty-two by now. Very legal. And definitely full grown.
"How the fuck did she get my number?" Anya asked herself as she leaned forward and wondered if she should make it clear to the blonde who exactly she was sending messages to. Honestly, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Still, she didn't want to entirely ruin the mood, in case it really was all on purpose.
9:30
Anya
Two questions, if I may?
9:30
Clarke Griffin
Oh you may
Anya rolled her eyes at the girl's response and quickly typed out her inquiries, hoping that it would at least clarify what all was going on.
9:31
Anya
One, might I share in the delicious pizza if I let you touch MY ass? And two, do you know who you sent this to?
9:31
Clarke Griffin
Raven, if you're trying to get me to call you Dr Reyes again I'll scream. And, uh, to answer the first, duh, but i'd prefer your hands be full of a little somethin else ;)
Anya let out a sigh, not knowing who Raven was, and definitely having confirmation that none of this was meant for her, as slim of a hope as that had been.
Deciding to at least have a good laugh at the ordeal, she decided to dig up some of the blonde's awkward attempt at asking her out, and throw it into the text.
9:32
Anya
I hate to break it to you, sweet cheeks, but this isn't Raven. But I am proud that you did end up toning your body, even if it was without my hands on expertise.
9:33
Clarke Griffin
Finn I stg, you have to stop fucking around on Raven's phone, or we'll both kill you. Stop being creepy
Anya quirked her brows at the hostile response, and the fact that Clarke clearly still thought she was messaging at least Raven's phone. She wasn't sure who Finn was, but she at least approved of the blonde lashing out against a creeper.
9:34
Anya
I don't know who Finn is, and you're not messaging Raven's phone. Sorry to break the bad news, but it seems you've been pranked.
9:35
Clarke Griffin
Ugh I'm going to kill Octavia. This sucks. I just wanted some pizza and for someone to touch my ass. Sorry random stranger.
9:36
Anya
Would it help if I told you that you didn't text a random stranger? And that the initial offer is still enticing?
Anya sat there waiting as seconds ticked past, and nearly decided to toss on some Netflix after a few minutes had passed, figuring Clarke had decided to cut things off. However, her phone buzzed once more just as she was reaching for her remote.
9:44
Clarke Griffin
Depends on who it is. And if they're up for getting a large instead of a medium, with extra pineapple.
Anya bit down on her lip to stifle a laugh, wondering just how hungry Clarke was that she'd negotiate with a potential stranger over pizza toppings. Feeling more than a little amused, Anya moved to her mirror and made sure she looked at least presentable. And maybe she swapped her tops for the more brazenly cleavage-heavy one she'd planned on wearing that night before she snapped a selfie with her practiced amused-and-slightly-superior smirk.
Not wanting to have any time to second guess herself, she sent the picture Clarke's way, and followed it up with a brief message.
9:48
Anya
Surprise, sweet cheeks
Anya barely had to wait ten seconds for the first response from the younger blonde.
9:48
Clarke Griffin
Oh no
9:48
Clarke Griffin
This can't be happening
Anya just smirked at the panicked response, feeling a slight bit of sympathy for the woman.
9:48
Anya
I would think those four words to myself every afternoon of your senior year in the spring, when you'd ogle me while I was gardening.
9:49
Clarke Griffin
Hey! Who wears tight pants while they're gardening? And they only got tighter! I mean, you wore denim so tight that it had to have been painted on!
9:49
Clarke Griffin
AND LEATHER? IN NINETY DEGREE WEATHER? REALLY?
Anya laughed at the memory, even if it was all from much tamer reasons than expected. She'd been doing stunt double work at the time, and she'd often wear a lot of what she had so the costuming department would save some money. And because she only had a brief time between getting home from that job, and going off to work as a personal trainer, she'd get her already dirty clothes a little dirtier with some gardening before going in to shower and change. That she'd been stunt doubling as some sexy urban spy was just an afterthought at the time.
9:49
Clarke Griffin
But, before I let myself die of embarrassment and humiliation, can you give me a good reference to a hitman? I need to have my friend Octavia assassinated.
9:50
Anya
I might know a guy. But I have a counterproposal, Clarke
9:50
Clarke Griffin
Are you going to kill me instead and get it over with quickly? Because I would prefer a merciful death. I'm innocent in this.
Anya shook her head in amusement as she crossed the room and grabbed her car keys. Now or never.
9:51
Anya
Your friend clearly meant to embarrass you. I'm sure she knows all about the crush you had on me a few years ago.
9:51
Clarke Griffin
Twist the knife why don't you
9:51
Anya
My point is that she wanted to get a good laugh at your expense. But if I'm being honest?
9:51
Anya
You're hungry for pizza, I'm thirsty for you. And whether we grope a bit while we eat, or I end up with three fingers knuckle deep in you, I'm confident in that Griffin seal of approval. I'm sure you could find something to rub in your friend's face with my help. Your call, sweet cheeks.
Anya sat with a mild sense of anticipation a she waited for a response. It wouldn't be a total let down to get rejected by the blonde, she understood that a lot of time had passed. People changed, after all. But she really would be up for getting a good hands-on look at Clarke's hard work at the gym. And she wouldn't be opposed to catching up with the younger woman either, everything else aside.
9:53
Clarke Griffin
Anya, if you give me pizza, I'll let you touch my butt
The message was followed by Clarke's address across town, and maybe Anya rushed out the door and into her Lancer. Maybe she sped to her favourite shop and paid the manager an extra few dollars to speed up the service on the pepperoni and double pineapple pizza.
And maybe, later that night, Octavia got sent a 'thank you' picture of Anya's head buried between Clarke's thighs, hands gripping the younger blonde's ass while she attempted to eat her pizza.
A little eating out, some quality pizza, a gorgeous host, and a solid workout. Anya really couldn't find a reason to ask for much more on a Wednesday night.
Clarke stopping by the next day to watch her tend to her tulips and lilacs, well, that was the start of something entirely different.
A/N: Welp, this is me trying to get fully motivated to write again. I saw a post on tumblr a ways ago, something like 'if you get me pizza I'll let you touch my butt', and I thought a bored Clarke Griffin could definitely be the kind to send something like that to someone.
Anywho, this was just silly, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!