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Yet Another Halloween – First Chapter – Agony.
Yet another Halloween came, and he felt just the same as the one before.
The brown haired man sat in his chair by the table, looking ragged than usual. He gazed out of the window, seeing Hogwarts' towers, pitch black upon the darkening blues of the sky.
Remus clutched the bottle of Firewhisky in his hand, raised it to his dry lips and drank. Halloween should not have been a holiday at all. It should have been canceled… How could the world have gone round and round yet again? How could people have kept on in their daily life? He never could, not after that Halloween.
He perfectly remembered it, vivid like it was yesterday. He knew something was off when he went to sleep that night, Halloween, twelve years ago. Something was wrong, evil crept all around that night… And worse, he could remember the morning after.
A loud knocking sound came from the wooden door of the small apartment. Remus, who hardly slept that night, woke up to it. He got himself up off the couch, and looked at himself. He was wearing yesterday's clothes, which were now all wrinkled. He could not remove the bad feeling that was hurting his heart…
"Come in," he called towards the door, picking up his wand from the floor and shoving it into his belt. The door opened gently, and in the door stood no other that Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts' headmaster. The unannounced and unexpected visit brought Remus to his legs. He came to greet the old man, but he stopped himself from doing so – he had never seen him with such a face that he could not comprehend. The headmaster's face gave nothing but agony and sadness.
"Sir?" that was the only thing that Remus could bring himself to say. Something has clearly happened. "Remus… I bring bad news."
Remus allowed himself to learn these memories, again yet another year. He could remember the pain, the damned pain in which he felt when the old man spoken his words, told him what happened. And then denial, controlling him, washing all his soul, telling him desperately that the man was lying, he has gone mad, it could not have happened.
And then, acceptance. Sirius – no, Black – has betrayed them. James, Lily and Peter – were all dead. Nothing, nothing explained it then, and nothing ever could. Sirius of all people… And it hurt the most.
And year again, in Halloween, Remus' heart filled with hatred and agony. And even here, in Hogwarts, where everything and everyone were safe, Remus was not, terrified and agonized. And the only thing that could remind him of hope was the young black-haired and green-eyed boy that has already been sleeping somewhere in the quiet castle. Harry had survived, and for now Remus – who was gulping down his Firewhisky – would do his best to keep it that way, yet for another Halloween.