Hi! I just felt like writeing this im working on just my memorys it was almost done but my mom deleted it so I have to start all over I just got this Idea and wated to post it before I forget sp here it is I swaer I will work it IF you nice peopole would be so nice and tell me what you think of this story!! Please im begging you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(thank you to every one who has reviewed JMM this is for you!((even if you don't like the pairing…))) im trying to do a long one atleast 20 chapters

oh and heres a guid

'thoughts'

"talking"

"naruto trying to talk"

flashback/dream

i think thats it...

Welcome to my life Chapter 1Prolouge

I saw the pain flicker across his beautiful porcelain face though I knew I couldn't do anything to stop it. The only thing possible for me was to stand there hand clenched into a tight fist, ready to strike something if it happened to cross my path. Tears streamed down my face as I fought the urge to go running after him. I knew where he was going and I thought it was for the best. I hoped it was for the best… 'I'll let Sakura tell everyone.' I decided, nodding to myself, and ran off to the training grounds to cool off some.

Kiba walked into the room, not really sure on what to ask about since I couldn't exactly speak yet. But before he had even placed that 'everything will be okay' look, I could feel that he wasn't going to be a bringer of any news. I wonder where Sasuke's gone...? Did he really go?

"Hey man how are you feeling?" I glared at him not really knowing that he knew about the loss of my voice I outstretched my hand towards the bedside cabinet, wanting him to hand me the notebook. I quickly gave Kiba an answer, jotting down on the notepad - like I really wanted to talk to him, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I had lost my voice and now had found out I couldn't be a ninja? How did he expect me to feel? I'd lost Sasuke too.

'Let's see I just lost my best friend lost my voice and I cant be a ninja anymore what do you think?' I mentally punched him, wanting him to feel the same amount of pain that was turning me back to the lonely boy that I had been so many years ago, instead of making him come closer so I could punch him I threw the note pad at him in fury.

I could see his moving over what I had wrote slowly and I tried to calm down "I'm sorry man you know I am, it's just as hard to see you like this after everything we've been through. Seeing you so strong and independent… everyone's breaking because it feels like we're losing you... and Sasuke. I'm sorry."

I could feel that he was trying to give me some sort of empathy lesson, and I knew he was trying his hardest to help me have a positive outlook on my situation. Kiba finished what he was saying, "Hinata and Shino are coming in next. Maybe even Sakura if she has enough time." I nodded silently because there was nothing else I could do maybe I should just ask them all to leave when they came, but then again they were my friends, I had to let them come in and see me, I don't want to turn into another loner again - I should try to stay positive.

After a few moments, Kiba left, I didn't really want him to leave, nor did I want to be in company – I just wanted Sasuke back. "Naruto-kun, are you better or worse?" Hinata smiled as she walked up to my bed, I eyed her carefully as she was hiding something behind her.

I look around the room, forgetting how my notepad had reached the other side of it – then I began to wonder, would I ever be able to speak again? Did I have to rely on a notepad for communication? Shino suddenly appeared behind Hinata. It looked as if two out of the three visitors had showed up.

Shino quickly handed me my notepad as if he was sensing my frustration. 'Better' I write and show each of them. Before I knew it she hands me a gift, a box wrapped in sliver paper with a orange bow. I smile at her and try to ask a question with my eyes – is this really for me?

She smiles too, and nods and I tore it open as quickly as I could. I smiled as I saw what it was, it was a picture of when I had got back from training. We were at that party they threw for me, everyone was there even Sasuke - we all looked so…so happy it made me want to cry. Though I put up another smile and nodded in thanks, she smiled and hugged me tightly and left me with the relaxed Shino. He was sitting on one of the only chairs, "Naruto…" he started his voice deep and rough.

A sigh escape his lips and I sat there waiting for him to ask whatever it was he wanted to ask. "Tell me how you are really feeling." I looked at my notepad for a moment, I didn't know how to explain what I felt – sure I was happy that I was alive and all my friends hadn't abandoned me, but… Sasuke leaving and not being able to speak…not being an ninja?

It was my turn to sigh as I slowly wrote down one word that would help Shino understand my feelings. 'Hurt.' Shino nodded slowly as if he were trying to think of the main reason behind my pain. "Why?" He asked looking at me straight in the eye. I dropped my gaze to look at the notepad that was now my only way of socializing.

'Because he left.' He frowned at that, I didn't understand what went through Shino's head sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

"You have no right to feel that way, Sasuke is the only person who has a right to feel hurt because of you…" he trailed of and left the room letting me think over his words. I was confused at first but that was probably why he had left so I could think over it again and again.

'Shino is right…but I love him I realize that now.' A knock on the door takes me out of my thoughts, I look up and see that Sakura had popped her head round the door – maybe to check that she had the right room? "Ohiyo Naruto," She smiled at me I smiled back in greeting. Though she wasn't here to give me a gift or even a few wise words, she was in fact here to…

"Its time to go to sleep." I usually liked to run around, having a lot of stamina can come in handy. Though since I woke up I wanted to just fall back asleep, yet I didn't want to appear rude to everyone that was taking time out of training to come and see me.

'Really already? I thought it was earlier that that!' I frowned as my thoughts were not voiced, she handed me a glass and some medicine though I refused to take them, and when she had threatened to poke me with a needle and inject it all I settled for pills. The sleeping medicine didn't taste that good but who was I to care as I instantly felt drowsy "Night Sakura-chan." I think that maybe she read my lips as she said her own goodnight to me. "Night Naruto." and she left…. Leaving me to my horrible nightmares…

I was taking my frustration out on some tree when I felt someone's chakra signature behind me so I turned around "Who I-?" Suddenly I got hit in the throat leaving me coughing and gasping for air I hadn't even found out who it was yet, though when I heard the cold voice I knew straight away who it was.

"You'll pay for that." Hissed the person standing in front of me, my eyes widened wondering why on earth Sasuke was doing this to me. "Sa-Sasuke!" My voice sounding weak, he punched me in my stomach making me cough up blood and elbowed me on my back and I fell, kneeling, to the ground.

"Sasuke-why?" I was losing my voice it sounded even weaker, I didn't know if it was because he had punched me or because I was under a spell of complete confusion.

"Why Naruto? You want to know why? It's because you are an oblivious idiot. That can't even see that…" His words struck me like venom, I didn't know what to do as he kept hitting me, though he muttered something, something that I just managed to catch – hissed in hate. "…I loved you."

Even though his words got through to me, and even though he had admitted it he continued to proceed to attempt to kill me. I had almost passed out when I was laying on the ground where I fell. I whispered-my voice weak and fading "I love you too Sasuke." I saw him freeze and physically tense and turn around but after that… nothing…Everything went black as night.

I bolted upright in the hospital bed. "Sasuke!" my mouth was open in a silent scream, I still had tears running down my face and I felt as broken as I looked. I feel back into the bed, silently staring at the ceiling wondering what Sasuke was thinking now. I was too absorbed in my own thoughts to notice a worried redheaded boy with thick eyeliner and emerald green eyes "Naruto…" I turned my head to look blankly at Gaara. 'Gaa…ra?'

He nodded my eyes widened and I started to cry I haven't seen him since the chunin exams!! I jumped into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, he looked a little frightened as I went through so many emotions within the same of a few seconds. "I missed you so much." I tried to say, and hoped that I would actually make a sound but I only managed to mouth the words.

I pull back and he hands me my notebook that had been sitting on the beside-cabinet since Shino and the others had left. "I've missed you how have you been!'I ask smiling the whole time, he seemed quite happy that I was happy. "Good and how are you feeling?" I felt relief as he could understand what I was saying – even if it was some basic questions.

I blinked and gave him a look, 'what the hell do you think?' He smirked at the face a pulled and I tried to get onto another topic, such as – why he was here. "So… what's up?" His face stayed the usual emotionless one, and his voice stayed in the one mono-tone as if he weren't too bothered on why he was here.

"I'm staying here until you get better than you are going to live with me in Suna" I blinked, I hadn't heard that right – now my hearing was going too. I didn't really know why he wanted me to come, I was useless, I was no ninja anymore. Even with the newly found excitement I couldn't help but get bogged down on that small fact….

'Hold on Gaara what am I supposed to do there? I'm not a ninja anymore…' I could feel that Gaara was slightly annoyed at the fact I had went back and questioned him about what was happening but still he replied, which I was happy for.

"You will stay there and be my personal assistant how does that sound?" I nodded a smile back on my face. "Good because you don't have a choice." He put bluntly, I sweat dropped wondering why he had to put it like that. There was a knock at the door, and I gave Gaara a look – reminding him that I was not able to speak. "Come in." Gaara called in a bored fashion.

Sakura stepped in I saw her looking at us – in other words me sitting in Gaara's lap with my arms around his neck and tears streaking my face and his arms wrapped around my waist to stop me from falling. She gulped and shook her head slightly embarrassed. "I-I'm sorry am I interrupting something?"

I smiled and shook my head and nudged Gaara looking at Sakura, motioning that he should say something about Suna. He nodded, but Sakura knew there was something going on, and asked. "What are you two scheming over there?" She raised a suspicious eyebrow at us though Gaara stated again, in a tired manner, "I'm taking Naruto back to Suna with me."