Disclaimer: FANfiction, brilliant people! I don't own Vampire Knight, the dear boys I play with in this fic, or Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (my inspiration) A Study in Scarlet (Sherlock Holmes, my title-inspiration) and the many other detective/spy movie I will (oh-so-lovingly) make fun of.

Warnings: Shonen-ai (TakumaxShiki and KanamexSomeoneYou'llFigureOutSuperSoonIfYouDon'tAlreadyKnowCauseIt'sObvious *breathes* XD And extreme crackiness. Yay for crack!fics! :P

Chapter 1:

"It was a cold and windy day, and he strode into my dorm like he owned the place. The stick of pocky he was munching on snapped in his mouth, filling the silent room with-"

"Takuma, what the hell are you doing?" Shiki grumbled at the more-than-slightly insane blond.

"Well," Takuma turned to his roommate and lover, "I'm being a detective!"

Shiki tossed his books to the floor of their dorm and raised an eyebrow. He collapsed gracefully onto his bed and asked, "A…what?"

Takuma's smile brightened. "A detective!"

At the model's deadpan look, Takuma elaborated.

"See, the Chairman had these movies he let me borrow because I was bored and Kaname was busy- he kept saying something about annoying not-vampires and too much sunshine and stop-talking-about-manga and then kicked me out! Just because he had work to do! Then Aidou said I wasn't a real vampire and Kain just sat there, and Kiriyuu-san told me to stop bugging him and glared and Yuuki-chan was busy too and you and Rima were at a photo shoot." Takuma glared accusingly.

The younger model knew he hadn't sent enough time with his lover lately, but it really wasn't his fault. And Takuma was so high-maintenance sometimes, it was no wonder everyone seemed to be tired of him, sweet as he was. Shiki shook his head fondly. He was so distractable, too. What was he saying again?

"Point?" the bemused (and slightly confused) model asked.

"Oh, yeah. Headmaster let me borrow these-" the blond held up a stack of DVD's- "and they're so cool! Humans have really great taste in movies, you know. But it gave me a great idea! I can finally figure out what's been bugging Kaname!"

Shiki sighed heavily and examined the videos.

Black and white film noir detective movies? He was going to use these to solve a mystery? Really, Takuma had some interesting ideas. Academy life wasn't the most exciting after all, but this… "Takuma…"

"Yes?" said vampire perked up. "Do you want to help me?"
Shiki huffed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Takuma, you're going to get in trouble. Kaname can take care of himself." Whatever it is that's bugging him, Shiki thought. He hadn't missed the distracted, glazed look their beloved pureblood had been sporting recently, or the depressed, almost longing aura that hung around him, however well their prince tried to hide it.

Takuma jumped up and out of his chair and flomped dramatically onto the bed next to Shiki. "But Kaname's my friend! I've got to find out what's wrong!" he pouted. Turning his best puppy-dog eyes on his friend, he begged, "Please? If you're not going to help me, at least let me."

The brunette huffed. "Fine. But I'm not wearing a fedora."

Two hours later, Takuma and a very reluctant Shiki snuck out of their dorm room. The blond-haired vampire had somehow managed to find them old-fashioned, noir-era suits, complete with-much to Shiki's dismay-black felt fedoras. As if creeping around like a couple of private eyes looking for clues wasn't suspicious enough.

Although the model kept his perpetual monotone, Takuma could hear the annoyance in Shiki's voice as he asked, "Where exactly are we going?"

"Oh lighten up a little! You're always complaining about being bored."

At Shiki's deadpan look, Takuma answered, "To the kitchen!"

The model's expression was enough to warrant an explanation.

"I'm hungry!"

With a barely-perceptible shake of the head, Shiki followed his friend through the empty hallways. Takuma was going to get them into so much trouble, he just knew it.

A/N: Ohhhh goodness. This is another one I have absolutely no idea where it came from. :) Umm… Review, and tell me if I'm as insane as I think? :P

I would really like to know if they're as out-of-character as I think they are, though. And was Takuma too rambly? ^^;;

Love you all, now click the pretty green button! :) ~Aly