Fairly Odd Family Guy Ep.1
Dinner And A Date: Scene One
Timmy walks into the kitchen where Sanderson is busy reading the newspaper and organizing his stock portfolio.
"You there!" Sanderson ignores him.
"I say, look here you pompous butt kisser!" Timmy said. Sanderson breaks his gaze away from his newspaper to look at the pink-hatted boy. He is covered in makeup and nail polish.
"What is it now?" He asked boredly.
"Look, I've been a bawdy little monkey! I've gotten into Wanda's makeup and made a mess of myself!" Sanderson just looks at him for a second before going back to his newspaper.
"And your point is?"
"Well, aren't you going to tell on me?" Timmy asked.
"Why should I? You always get caught."
"It would be fun if someone actually told on me, but you're not going to do that, aren't you? Meaning, that you'll be responsible for not watching me whatsoever?"
"Nope."
"You mean, I can do whatever I want, and I won't get into trouble?"
"Yep." Timmy pauses to think about this before he relalizes what's going on.
"Dammit, I know what you're doing! You're trying to use reverse psychology on me so I can stop being bad, right? Well I'll show you!" Timmy grits his teeth and leaves the room, but he pops his head back.
"So uh...I guess that you're really not going to tell on me?" He asked.
"Nope."
"Really?"
"That's right."
"Oh...well then...I guess I'll continue on, shall I?" Timmy said, kicking at the linoleum under his feet.
"You do that."
"Sure will." Timmy checks his fingernails for a few minutes before he suddenly points at Sanderson.
"Dammit, you're not the boss of me!" He then runs out and slams the door behind him.
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Wanda: It seems today that all you see, is violence in movies, and sex on TV.
Cosmo: But where are those good old fashioned values...
Astro, Charmy, Sanderson, and Timmy: On which we used to rely?
Everyone: Lucky there's a family guy! Lucky there's a man who'll postively tell you, all the things that make us...
Timmy: Laugh and cry!
Everyone: He's a family guy!
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"Scully, I'm afraid that...I have an alien in my stomach, and will kill me once it comes out." Mulder said.
"Mulder, is there anyway we can get it out?" Scully asked. Mulder gasped as pain washed over him.
"There is one thing...come closer..." He whispered. Scully leaned to hear what her partner had to say.
"Scully...I just want to tell you...I...I..."
"What? What is it?" She asked, her lip quivering.
"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" He said. Then the alien burst out of his stomach and killed him before it went after Scully.
"Geico...saving 15 or more on car insurance."
"Serves him right...he should have used a condom." Wanda said.
"Oh yes, surely one who has an alien baby could use a bit of protection...get yourself educated, woman!" Timmy snapped, throwing his gerbil at her.
"Timmy, that's not nice...you could poke someone's eye with that." She answered absently as she tossed the animal out the window. At that point, Cosmo poofed into the room, waving a piece of paper around.
"Look everyone! Jorgen asked me to host a dinner party for some rich fairy family named Rake! Heheheheheheh...Rake."
"Cosmo, do you remember the last time you hosted something like that?" Sanderson asked.
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A drunken Cosmo is entertaining his guests at his Halloween party by dressing like a can-can girl and attempting to sing karaoke.
"Oi! The next number...goes out to my best friend in the whole wide world!" He grabs a nearby guy who happens to be dressed in a peanut suit.
"This here...peanut guy!" He says as he throws an arm around him and kisses him. He puts the microphone to his mouth and sings very badly.
"Feeelings...!" After a few seconds, he then suddenly passes out onto the floor. Realizing he wasn't moving, the guests look at each other before walking slowly out the door. One takes his wallet, then runs.
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"Well at least this is a formal dinner party thing, where we get to wear tuxedos and dresses and all that." Cosmo grinned. Charmy got off the couch excitedly.
"You mean I can wear my dress? And dance with the guy I always wanted to?" She asked, looking at Sanderson and batted her eyelashes at him. Timmy rolls his eyes.
"Please, girlfriend...we've already got enough on our plate without you pretending to be some Cinderella." Wanda got up from her seat on the couch and read the letter in Cosmo's hand.
"Timmy's right sweetie...you need to finish cleaning the fireplace...it's gotten dirty again. And after that, wash the windows and siding...you can do that while we're having fun at party, can't you?" Charmy suddenly burst into tears and ran up the stairs to her room.
"You all hate me!" She sobbed.
"...She seriously needs to get laid." Timmy said.
"You can do that, right?" He asked, looking at Sanderson. In the meantime, Astro was clickling the buttons on the TV remote before Cosmo turned to him.
"Hey kiddo, aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?" He asked. Astro shrugged.
"Can't, Dad."
"Why not?"
"My math book is in the closet, and there's an evil monkey in there." Cosmo let out a 'phft' noise.
"Oh come on. There's no such thing as an evil monkey in your closet." He said. Astro looked at the stairs, and saw the evil monkey glaring and pointing at him from the middle steps. He groaned sadly and looked at the floor.