Blinded Blue Eyes
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I ran up the mountain facing my koi, I stared at him: he was wearing a baggy t-shirt and a thick pair of blue jeans. I could see he was hiding something. I grabbed his wrist, it was way too thin and I could easily feel his bone. Suddenly realizing that lately I hadn't been eating with my koi, he would always make some excuse to get away and now I understand why.
"Why did you have to do this?" I questioned him suddenly but deep in my voice was a cry of concern. He turned towards me with widened eyes, shifting uncomfortably in my tight grasp, his bone felt like I could snap it in half in a split-second. He replied to me with silence and this caused me to start worrying.
"Answer me, please Kouji…" I pleaded him. He stared at the ground before looking into my eyes. I could feel them widen as I saw the reflection of his life in those deep blue eyes: pure emptiness. Quickly as that I realized what was going on.
"Please don't do that to yourself--" I practically begged him. "--it's not healthy…" Staring at me I saw a tear form in his eye and he smiled bitterly.
"It's doesn't matter anymore Takuya, I finally realized that I'm far from perfect and--" He laughed mockingly at himself, tears streaming down his face. Slowly he backed away, as I followed him and finally he said: "--I don't deserve you." He took a plunging step back and my eyes widened with a gasp as I threw my hand forward to him but he didn't take it, not even an attempt. On the edge of the mountain I leaned forward with my hand grasping out still believing he could grab it, I stared at him fall, his eyes wide open yet completely empty, baggy clothes collecting air and showed his thin body, that cruel smile laughing bitterly at himself as his the tears flew up. My tears colliding with his as I screamed my koi's name: KOUJI!
Why was my koi so blind with those beautiful naval eyes of his, how could he not realize that to me he was perfect but it was too late, because both of our hearts died that night, even if one of our body's still existed on the world, living without Kouji was the same as dying, just wishing he could've seen the truth.
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Koji4ever- I'm sorry for that, I just can't seem to capture that angst feeling. I hope you enjoyed it anyway, any suggestions would help. I wrote this because I had a pretty shitty day, since my ms boyfriend dumped me. So I guess this is dedicated to that bastard, tell Patrick to have a nice fucking life -smile-