I hadn't always been like this. My heart was once open and free. A mixture of happiness and hope, flying about in an empty space where anyone refused to hold it and nurture it. Never did it hit me that I would lose everything that belonged to me, but then gain the pain of others.

What was I supposed to do? I was a little kid, taking everything for granted and not seeing that what I had in my hands. Back then; 'love' was the one thing that would keep the insanity in me calm and sheltered. Back then, I had love. I guess I'll never be capable of loving again if I don't try. I just don't get it. What is its significance? Even if they say that you see the world in rose-tinted colours, what is to stop the pain during and afterwards of 'love'?

Never have I seen anyone I would think of in a romantic light. In a way that could intrigue me. Not power-wise. Not enemy or spar-wise. I don't think I ever will. The past has left an irremovable scar on me. I hate it. I hate that every day; I have to put up with those idiots. Kakashi, with his cryptic remarks, inability to care for his team (not that I care) and sick mind – he never stops reading that porn series, for crying out loud!

Then there's Sakura – freakin' Sakura. Oh good Lord above, why did you have to let something like her roam the Earth? I'm not saying she's ugly, because she's not. I don't really go for the bubbly pink hair and green-eyed girls, but it's her personality and freaking obsession that ticks me off...I can't get to sleep without the fear that I'll find out that I've gotten drugged and forcefully married to Sakura whilst passed out or something much worse...

Then there's Naruto. God forbid the things that I would do to him if they let me free. Too violent, gory and bloody for even the bravest of ninja, for even the most twisted torture masters! But that dobe has some kind of value. He doesn't ever give up. Even after he has been battered and bruised, he never backs away. He has a dream, one that will lead him to the light, even if he has a load on his back. Sakura may be the most skilled stalker I have known, but she is bright, logical and strong-willed. Like Naruto and Sensei, she does not let people give her any crap and fights back. Those two are probably the bravest ninjas and people in general I have known. I should be looking up to them, not the other way around.

Then there's Kakashi sensei. All that crap about not caring for his team – bullshit. Even when the three of us/me and Naruto/Sakura and Naruto were at each other's throats, Kakashi would nurture us and tell us to treasure each other. Even though I just turned my cheek at those speeches, the ones where he was telling us to be a team, I would soak in each word. This was coming from the man that was taught by a hokage himself. His words must have some significance. I may get angry about his cryptic remarks because I (on the rare occasion) cannot solve some of them, but he has made me a wiser person. Ways to live as a ninja - even though I ended up blinded by my on hatred and them wandered to the wrong path.

I now realize that I am a broken man. A mad man broken apart from his soul by the sly hands of revenge, blinded love and emptiness in my own heart. I guess I'll never be complete, but I guess if you are out there, waiting to complete me, I'll wait for you.

I'll wait for you, the one who will complete me and repair me. You'll be the one to love me, no matter what. It's a long shot, hoping to find someone like that in the dark depths I have fallen in, but I will wait for you to pass me by, take notice and then pull me out of the darkness.

If you're already waiting, carry on. You may not know me, but we can be the same. I am a broken man, with only one hope left. You.

Come save me...please?