A/N: Heeey! This is an independant companion to "Ryuk's apples"; actually more of a side story. Written on a day when we didn't have any apples, just a banana.(there were MANY "that's what she said" jokes). Guaranteed to be pure crack, and if you take it seriously, you might die of a brain aneurysm. So don't.
One day, Ryuk asked Rem if she wanted to see something horrible. She didn't really enjoy awful things, but since it did get a bit boring following Misa around to all her photo shoots, she agreed. To her surprise, Ryuk led her to the nearbly Junior High school; not exactly a hot bed of criminal activity. She was further surprised when he zoomed in on a group of teens that seemed to be normal. With her shinigami eyes, she read their names. Emily, Kennady, Lucas, and Eddy. Normal names. Normal faces. Normal people. So what was so horrible or interesting about that?
Rem was bored out of her mind. If Shinigami went on dates, she would have resolved to reject Ryuk for the next century or so, especially if this was his idea of fun. All they had done was watch the teens, who ate, repeated the phrase "That's what she said" a lot, and laugh. But her attention was caught when they pulled out a banana. Rem liked bananas. The potassium, the colour, the taste.... it was all she could do not to snatch it right away.
"Hey," one of the kids said, "Since we don't have an apple, maybe we should destroy the banana instead!" This suggestion was met with laughter from the group, and a near heart attack from Rem. Destroy a banana? Maybe Ryuk was right. Maybe those kids really were evil! She followed them out to the parking lot, where they played a modified version of catch with the banana. The objective seemed to be to let the banana smash against the ground, until finally, it lay in a messy heap. When Emily and Kennady were nominated to pick it up, they left it there instead, claiming it was "Biodegradable, so it's good for the environment!"
Rem stared after them in shock. They had to be punished. And she knew just the person.