A/N: I haven't abandoned Matched. In fact, I should be updating within a week. This a crack fic based on my headcanon that Hawkmoth and Master Fu ship Ladynoir. T make this work, the characters may be OOC. Enjoy!
"We need to get them together."
"I agree. They've been partners and classmates for three years. How long can they go without seeing what's right under their noses?" Master Fu groaned, frustrated. He turned to the man dressed in the purple suit behind him. "Do you have any more ideas?"
Hawkmoth shook his head sadly. "No, I don't think so. I mean, the akuma attacks obviously didn't work."
Master Fu nodded sagely. "Damn their sense of honor. If only one or the other followed each other after de-transforming, we wouldn't have this problem. Marinette would get Adrien, and Chat would get Ladybug."
"We even designed akumas to trap them in sticky situations!" Hawkmoth spoke, ticking off his fingers. "There was Honey Funny, who bound them in sticky sugar constantly, even after Ladybug used her lucky charm."
"Chat Noir didn't use his cataclysm yet, so that failed," Master Fu interjected.
"Catnip Anesthesia perfumed the air with the scents of herbs meant to make them woozy so they would spill all their secrets. They were so close to telling each other their civilian identities too."
"Until Catnip knocked them into the water, breaking the effects of the scents," Master Fu reminded.
"Remember Love Dove?"
"How could I not? His fragrance sent everyone searching for their crush to kiss them. Ladybug started searching for Adrien, and Chat Noir chased Ladybug as she rushed to find her blond classmate, who was right behind her. It was actually quite funny; I caught the whole thing on video."
"Ooh. Can I see?" Hawkmoth peeked over Master Fu's shoulder as the video began to play. They watched Chat desperately chase Ladybug as she screamed Adrien's name aloud, intent on finding him. They watched the two superheroes, Chat de-transforming first because of an exhausted Plagg. Ladybug noticed suddenly that Adrien was running behind her, and she leaped on him, planting her mouth onto the concrete as Adrien screamed that he wanted to be the one to initiate the kiss.
Master Fu paused the video. "Just look at them go."
"That wasn't the best idea, was it?" Hawkmoth winced. "We had a lot of people chasing other people. I'm pretty sure there was a complicated parade winding its way through Paris."
"I also have a picture of that too."
"The sad thing was that they actually learned of each other's identity but forgot it after coming out under the akuma's spell."
"It was such a tragedy."
They nodded in shared sadness.
"Remember all the times we tried to get them together outside of civilian life?"
Master Fu sighed. "Well, we did do the classics: girl falls onto boy and kisses him by accident, girl needs help and boy helps her, boy needs partner and asks the girl, the boy and girl are leads in the school play with the mandatory kiss."
"They thwarted all of them though: Adrien simply helped Marinette up while dodging her lips, Marinette always goes to Alya for help, they both partner up with their best friends, and Alya and Nino got the leads in the school play after Adrien and Marinette turned down the parts."
"We haven't tried this one yet." Hawkmoth stared at his partner in crime.
"Which one?"
"The most classic of the classics," Master Fu whispered.
Hawkmoth lowered his voice too. It seemed appropriate somehow. "Tell me."
"We make them kiss."
"Do we just mash their heads together?"
Master Fu nodded.
"What about their kwamis?"
Master Fu grinned evilly. "I secured their full cooperation last night. We just need to tell them what to do. I'm thinking that Tikki and Plagg are the ones who are going to bind them together with rope."
A purple kwami popped out of the suit. "I can heighten their feelings for each other."
Wayzz moved forward. "I can increase your power so that their love for their crushes are extremely strong."
"Can you guys call Tikki and Plagg here?" Master Fu asked. "We need all six of us together to put this plan into action."
A few minutes later, Tikki and Plagg appeared. "We can definitely bind them together," Tikki said. "Do you have any extra-strength duct tape?"
Hawkmoth produced a heavy roll adorned with pictures of Marinette and Adrien. "Certainly. How about this Adriennette roll?"
"That's pretty."
"I had it custom made," Hawkmoth said proudly. "I've got one with Ladynoir featured all over it too."
The squad planned to target Marinette and Adrien when they were both walking into Master Fu's studio for their weekly lesson tomorrow. Hawkmoth would hold them together while Tikki and Plagg bound them with the duct tape. Wayzz would strengthen Nooroo's powers so the urge to find and kiss the crush would be overpowering. Master Fu would record the entire thing for posterity.
It was agreed that the plans be kept a secret.
The next day, when Marinette and Adrien were walking into the studio, Hawkmoth jumped out from behind the door, holding Marinette and Adrien together in a crushing grip. He attached the first end of the duct tape to the duo, and left Tikki and Plagg to bind them in the Adriennette roll. Nooroo and Wayzz began to heighten the teenagers' feelings for their respective crushes.
Silence.
Then suddenly, "TRANSFORM ME!" Tikki and Plagg were sucked into jewelry, and Ladybug and Chat Noir were bound together. Chat hastily used cataclysm, freeing both himself and Ladybug. Ladybug crashed through the thin screen walls in an attempt to hunt down Adrien. When she became tangled in the mess of wood, Chat Noir caught Ladybug and planted a large kiss on her lips. Simultaneous shouts of "YES!" were heard in six different voices in that moment.
The kissing went on for quite a while as Ladybug and Chat Noir learned of each other's civilian identities from the mutual transformation sequence and realized that they were experiencing mouth-to-mouth contact with their crush.
Eventually, they had to be separated. By the time Master Fu had recorded a full two hours on his phone, hands were roaming. When both superheroes refused to stop, Master Fu and Hawkmoth had to bodily separate them. Too much was too much, and the squad most definitely didn't want to see things progress to the next level.
They hauled the two teenagers to a rooftop to dissipate the raging hormones, directing Tikki and Plagg to teleport them home.
Success was sweet, even if the two teenagers couldn't look at each other without turning red for a month afterwards. Of course, all that repressed sexual tension only meant Master Fu and Hawkmoth needed to get them together-again.
The squad couldn't wait.
A/N: Thoughts, anyone?