Note that I do not own the characters in this story. All rights go to Veronica Roth.

I feel a thread tugging me again, but this time I know that it isn't some sinister force dragging me toward death.

This time I know it's my mother's hand, drawing me into her arms.

And I go gladly into her embrace.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?

I want to be.

I can.

I believe it.

My mother is gone again. Everything is gone, there's nothing left. This is the end, I think. It's all over now. I'm welcoming death, because maybe everything will be better where I go next. But I can't move on, because I still feel alive. Even though I'm buried deep down in this darkness and can't find the end of it anywhere and I'm gasping for air, I still feel something. It's like a deep ache growing inside of me, eating me up from the inside. If I'm… if I am dead, I wouldn't feel anything, right? So why does the darkness slowly fade away, why does this deep ache grow into stabbing pain, spreading from my stomach to my head and all the way out to the tip of my toes. Everything hurts now, the pain is everywhere, I'm drowning in it. I feel like screaming but I can't find the right muscles to open my mouth and I don't know where I am or what's going on. I just want the pain to stop; please, please,I think, make it stop. And then, suddenly, the blackness is complete again, wrapping around me hard like a blanket, heavy and thick, and the pain is gone.

I'm pulled awake with a jerk and I can't feel anything for a moment. It's dark, but I'm relieved that it's not the paralyzing blackness from before. When was before? I have no idea how long I was stuck in the darkness.

I can finally breathe normally, although every breath comes with a stinging pain. I try to open my eyes but I can't. The pain is getting worse every second and I catch myself longing after the heavy darkness, the only thing that at least got rid of the pain.

Bang.

The worst pain I've ever felt hits me in the stomach like nothing else I felt before and I try to scream but only a low moan escapes my lips. My eyes fly open, desperately looking for something that will help me escape. Then my eyes adjust to the darkness in the room and I see a figure sitting in front of me.

Everything comes back to me.

Caleb. The death serum. David with the gun. The fear of dying, and then my mother. I must've lived. In some unbelievable way I survived both the death serum and David's bullets. But now he's come to finish what he started.

I scream out loud. No, not this, not him! Please, don't let him shoot me again, I don't want to die…

"Shhh", a familiar voice says. "It's okay, Tris, you're safe. It's okay."
I feel a hand on my cheek and my heart stops for a moment. Looking up into those dark blue eyes I finally feel safe again, I feel at home.

"Tobias?" I cry out, a few tears running down my cheek.

"I'm here", he whispers, his hand placing a string of hair behind my ear.

"C-can you turn on the light?" I say, trying to sit up. My voice shakes a little as I speak.

He turns on a lamp next to my bed and helps me sit.

I take a few deep breaths to calm down and look around in the room. White walls, medical equipment on steel tables, windows with closed blinds. A hospital?

"How are you feeling?" Tobias asks, his face concerned. "How's the pain?"

"I… I don't know." I say. He looks at me sternly and I have to look down. "Everything hurts." I can't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I don't feel like myself.

Tobias nods and pushes a couple of buttons next to my bed. "Painkillers", he explains. "We'll have to wait a couple of minutes for them to kick in."

I notice several tubes going into my arms and feel kind of sick. "How long have I been... unconscious?"

"Almost two weeks", Tobias replies, and his voice breaks. I suddenly realise how tired he looks, dark rings around his eyes. "You've been in a coma."

I flinch. "I thought... I was dead. I thought I died. "

Now it's his turn to flinch. "Me too."

I can't look at him. "I'm sorry", I whisper. "For going in there, and for hurting you, I just... I couldn't let Caleb die, not when I had a chance…"

My eyes are tearing up again and I desperately try to blink them away. How did everything get this bad? Why does everything I do have to hurt someone?

Tobias places a hand on my chin and tilts my head up, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"Don't cry", he says softly. "I'm okay, and you're going to be too."

I shake my head, and I can't stop the tears now. I miss my parents. I miss the way it used to be between Caleb and I. My head hurts, and I can't breathe.

"Shhh, it's okay", Tobias says again.

I scoot over a little in my bed so that he can lie down next to me and he wraps his arms around me. "I love you", he whispers. "I'm so glad you didn't die."

I have no answer for him.

He lays beside me, his hand stroking my hair, until the pain meds kick in and I fall asleep.

When I wake up the sun is shining through the window, reflecting in the metal tables against the wall.
"Hey", says Tobias softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better", I says, sitting up on my own this time.

I clench my teeth as pain from the gunshot wound spreads through my body. He notices.

"Do you want more pain meds?" he says, worried.

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

He looks like he doesn't quite believe me, but gets up. "Christina has been waiting for you to wake up. Do you want to see her?"

I nod. Christina's the only friend I have left now, except for Tobias and maybe Cara. Will, Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, they're all gone. I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Don't cry, I tell myself sternly.

Tobias bends over me, touches my cheek gently and then leaves through a door on the opposite side of my room, which Christina enters through a couple of seconds later. She smiles as she sees me and rushes forward to hug me. I let out a small moan of pain.

"Sorry!" she says, letting go quickly. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too." I smile back at her.

She studies me for a while, and her smile disappears. I suddenly notice her blinking back tears. "Why did you go? You should have let Caleb..." She doesn't continue, almost like she doesn't have the energy to carry on.

I sigh, closing my eyes. "Caleb… he would've died immediately, and I couldn't let him do that, not when I knew I had a better chance at survival. No matter what he did, he's still my brother."

"You could've died to", Christina protests. "You almost did."

I look down. "I know. I'm so sorry…"

I take in a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain. "I didn't want to hurt any of you."

She nods, biting her lip. "We know that. Just… don't do anything like that again."

"I won't."
"Promise?"

"Promise."

Eeeep! A new story! What did you think about the first chapter? I tried my best to stay true to the characters, although of course they've changed a little after going through what they have, and I really hope you liked it. Please leave a review telling me what you thought and I might continue the story! :)