Remembrance of a Girl
"I can't believe Katsura sent me on this fool's errand!" the red-haired hitokiri griped. For such a young man, hardly turned fourteen, his voice sounded as a low, terrifying snarl. His travel partner, another skilled hitokiri five years the boy's elder, barely suppressed a shiver.
"I agree, Himura-san." How do you think I feel about it? I got landed with you!
Hiijike Rusuko silently lamented their commander's decision to pair him and Himura Kenshin together. The surly young manslayer needed no escort, desired no partner, and would quite frankly preferred not to have gone on this mission at all. All these things made their journey to Edo a very unpleasant, and unsettling, experience.
Find Katsura's woman and deliver her to the Geisha house safely… Kenshin ruminated on his orders. Ikumatsu-sama was extremely important to Katsura if he was willing to send his best hitokiri all the way to Edo, just to escort her a few miles to her Geisha house.
A few weeks previous, assassins had tried to attack and kill Ikumatsu-sama in order to get to Katsura. But she had successfully fled to sanctuary in the home of an ex-Geisha, Yoshinta Tsana. Not long after word of that attack reached Katsura, other conspirators of the same group had tried an attack on his life as well, which brought the newest, and by far most deadly of the Ishin's shadow assassins, upon their necks. With the threat permanently ended thus, Katsura saw fit to send escorts—Kenshin and Rusuko—to accompany Ikumatsu-sama on her return journey.
"Hiijike-san, do you happen to know why Katsura saw fit for us to travel together? Why didn't he just send you? You are plenty skilled to protect Ikumatsu-sama," Kenshin said coldly. Rusuko was insulted, but debased himself to humor the dangerous, twisted boy-assassin.
"I guess he wants to give Ikumatsu-sama the best possible protection, Himura-san. It is always a good idea to send two hitokiri instead of one, just in case some unforseen tragedy occurred and one of us—in other words, me—died. This way, Ikumatsu-sama will undoubtedly be protected."
"Hn."
Kenshin grunted, disliking being used for Katsura's personal life. He thought his reasons for being hitokiri were clear: he killed for the country of Japan and its freedom from oppression, not just one man! When Katsura had been attacked, he had of course agreed to take care of the problem since Katsura Kogoro was vital to Ishin operations.
But thankfully for his commander, he understood on some level that Katsura would have protected Ikumatsu-sama himself if he wasn't the head of the Ishin Shishi, and had not given up his sword for the same reason. Because of this, and his trust in Katsura, Kenshin could overlook this one personal request the man had ever made of him. And yet, he still didn't like it.
"I will never understand being so attached to just one person…" Kenshin muttered. "I do not wish Ikumatsu-sama to be hurt or die… but how can Katsura, or anyone, care this deeply? When everyone is suffering, how can he be so selfish?"
Rusuko held his silence. He remembered that Kenshin was just barely fourteen years old, and had already been thrust into bloodshed so gruesome that most other hitokiri were unsettled by it; particularly given the boy's age, and recent debut into the role of a manslayer. Even if he never left his role as "Demon of the Shadows", Rusuko suspected that his incomparable skills and frightening deportment would become legend, synonymous with death. He was fourteen, and wielded an ancient style which did the work of ten hitokiri or more, and he made even the most dangerous assassins—on his own side, no less!—nervous enough with just a glance of his strangely colored eyes. They were so deranged and teeming with violence all the time… So it was not surprising that he was already cynical and unable to discern selfishness, from a man holding on to sanity and happiness in such turbulent, hellish times as the Bakumatsu.
The two hitokiris reached Ikumatsu-sama's haven by twilight. It was a sword arts dojo where the once-geisha Yoshinta Tsana lived as the wife of Kamiya Koshijiro, a warrior, a pacifist, and a master swordsman. Together, they were a very compassionate pair, and had welcomed Ikumatsu with open arms despite the dangers of her situation.
"A pacifist getting mixed up in this business…" Kenshin muttered darkly, as he and Rusuko entered the front gate. "That doesn't make sense… As much as I wish to defend his freedom to do as he pleases, I just can't understand his willingness to get involved with these dangers. It's rather hypocritical. What if the assassins had come, and he'd been forced to kill them? What would happen to his ideals then? Feh…" Rusuko glanced at the brooding teenager and sighed.
"Well, it makes no more sense for him to own a sword arts dojo or fight alongside us in the revolution, when swordsmanship teaches to kill and he is, like us, a killer. But I believe he hopes to create a style that defeats without killing. He would naturally wish to help a friend of his wife's…and perhaps he wanted to protect his wife, child, and Ikumatsu-sama while he is home for the time being, by testing out his theory if necessary." Kenshin 'feh'ed again, and Rusuko thought: You just can't understand caring for someone, can you, Himura? Your soul is already so drowned in the blood of others… I pity you, for your life must be a living hell, steeped in turmoil and confusion…
"Swords always kill, Hiijike-san," Kenshin suddenly said, in a voice close to a whisper. "That is their purpose, and Kamiya-sensei is a fool if he thinks he can make it otherwise." Rusuko felt his suspicions confirmed, and was grateful that Kenshin spoke in such a low voice, lest he was heard by the Sensei.
Rusuko knocked on the door and waited patiently with Kenshin. Instinctive fear and nervousness settled over the younger boy, even while Rusuko was glad that he'd soon have more agreeable company than his moody and cantankerous comrade. Unlike Rusuko, Kenshin was not accustomed to meeting new people for social matters. He had grown up with a recluse, learning Hiten Mitsurugi until he was thirteen. And not too many months after leaving, he had been discovered and taken in for Ishin assassinations. His deadly skill with stealth and the blade, combined with his unlikely age, had rendered his life nothing more than a means for death. Anyone new he met, he usually killed without ever speaking a single word to them.
So now, on a rescue mission, he feared the reactions of Ikumatsu-sama and her friends. He worried that they would hate, or fear, him.
Kamiya-sensei was the one to answer the door. The tall, proud warrior opened the door with apparent calm. But neither Kenshin, nor Rusuko, overlooked the fact that he had a sword in his left hand. When he recognized who his visitors were however, he betrayed a glint of relief in his brown eyes and smiled slightly.
"Come in, come in. Ikumatsu-san is with my wife and daughter." The other two entered, and he shut the door behind Kenshin before leading the way to a back room.
Inside, was Ikumatsu-sama, dressed in civilian clothes, sitting across from another attractive dark-haired woman in an everyday housewife kimono. The women had been sewing and talking amicably, like old friends, until Kamiya-sensei slid open the shoji and the men entered. Koshijiro entered first and stood next to his wife, then Rusuko, and then Kenshin who stayed nervously by the door, not looking at anyone. He occupied himself with closing the shoji very carefully and silently, thus delaying the time when he'd have to meet someone's eyes.
Unfortunately for him, his methods did not go unnoticed by anyone. He could feel their eyes on him, and realized they were waiting for him to complete his task before they began speaking. So, palms beginning to sweat, Kenshin slid the shoji into place again and looked up quickly. His eyes immediately met the warm brown gaze of Ikumatsu-sama.
The geisha smiled kindly, and Kenshin felt his neck heat up when she muttered a strange word under her breath: "Hitomi…" It meant 'beautiful eyes'; Kenshin couldn't fathom why she would say such a thing, but the fact that she looked at him as she said it, with such fascination, was embarrassing enough. His jaw involuntarily tightened, prompting Ikumatsu-sama to look away discreetly, not wishing to further unsettle him.
She had been unable to help it, her surprise upon seeing him had been so great. Only hearing of him for the first time after the attack, his description as a fourteen year old manslayer had left her with the impression of a dark, rough, roguish brute, rather than a gentle looking boy. She had even asked Kogoro-sama to send someone else, fearing being escorted by the delinquent. But her lord had insisted. And now being faced with such a waifish, handsome, unusual looking young man with fiery red hair and innocent violet eyes, she was almost glad. He emanated more protection and good will than the malevolence Kogoro had led her to suspect, and made her feel very safe.
To think, she felt safe in the presence of a fourteen year old…
"Thank you for coming, Himura-san, Hiijike-san," said the other woman present. Kenshin prepared himself to meet the eyes of Kamiya-sensei's wife, Kamiya Tsana. He looked in her direction almost defiantly, but the action was missed, as her head was bowed in gratitude to him and Hiijike. When she did look up, Kenshin was surprised by the strange eye color—a deep gray-blue—and the straightforward expression. There was a marked difference between Tsana-san's and Ikumatsu-sama's eyes. The latter's were mysterious and befitting of a high-ranking geisha, while the former's were pointedly honest and direct. Surprisingly, Kenshin felt much more comfortable with the look in her eyes than the subtlety of Ikumatsu-sama's.
"There really isn't much to discuss," Tsana-san said, in a clear voice. She and Ikumatus-sama had risen to their feet. "Ikumatsu-san is ready to go whenever you both are ready. But for now, you have traveled far. I suggest we all have a meal, and then you may rest."
"Thank you, Kamiya-san," Rusuko replied graciously. "A meal would be most welcome." Tsana-san nodded at him, breaking her eyes away from Kenshin's.
As she led Rusuko and Ikumatsu-sama away, Kenshin noticed Kamiya-sensei kneel down over something at the other side of the room. He heard the man whisper a name.
'His daughter,' Kenshin recalled.
"Kaoru-hime. Wake up, little one, it's time to eat."
Kenshin heard him chuckle as the sleepy little girl made a muffled protestation. He gathered her in his arms, and when he stood up and turned around, said, "All this excitement has finally made her exhausted. My poor angel… I'm happy she is getting rest."
Kenshin barely heard, because he recognized that little three-year-old girl. That sleeping face, though young, was undeniably…
'Kaoru…'
Himura Kenshin awoke with a start in the Kamiya home…his home. He tried to settle his breathing as he recalled the details of a very strange dream-memory...
He had been fourteen, which was very early in his career as a hitokiri. The incident with Ikumatsu-sama had later been recognized as one of his first major debuts in the underground of the revolution. Some of his comrades gave him the nickname 'Demon of the Shadows' in acknowledgement, which was just the first of many he would receive. 'Hitokiri Battosai' came slightly later, as his prowess with battojutsu emerged.
Kenshin had all but forgotten by now… But the night he and Hiijike-san went to collect Ikumatsu-sama from the Kamiya dojo… That was the very first night Kenshin had ever seen Kaoru-dono.
The next time he'd seen her had been fourteen years later. But by then, he'd been put through his chaotic career and suffered the loss of Tomoe. Kaoru had looked so different as a vibrant seventeen year old in gi and hakama. When she was three and dressed in a baby's kimono, Kenshin hadn't even seen her open her eyes; she'd slept all through dinner, and then he, Hiijike, and Ikumatsu-sama left early the next morning.
But now, all these years later, he recalled this forgotten memory from his life. She was now Himura Kaoru, sleeping peacefully beside him…
Kenshin sat up and leaned over his wife to look at her sleeping face. Coincidentally, she looked so childlike in her repose…
The night we second met… I remember recognizing the name of the style the fake Battosai claimed to use. But I knew he was a fraud anyway, and couldn't risk exposing myself. Nor did I know what to believe of the situation…
And when she'd claimed it as her family's style… At first I thought she was a niece or cousin, but the more I looked, the more I saw some of Kamiya-sensei's features and her mother's direct gaze. Not to mention the bright blue eyes—only those could come from Tsana-dono…
…I can't believe I forgot to tell her about this! Kaoru would love to know, that she would… He smiled affectionately at his sleeping wife. When an unconscious sound, low and comforting, passed through her lips, Kenshin chuckled softly. "Oh, Kaoru…" He bent down to kiss her cheek, and then curled an arm around her waist to pull her closer as he laid down again.
"…Ken-shin?"
Kenshin noted that she still sounded half-asleep.
"Hn?"
Kaoru giggled to his bewilderment.
"…Is everything all right?" She started to squirm, so Kenshin released her until she situated herself facing him, and then wrapped his arm around her again. The happy look in her eyes suddenly became concerned by his silence, despite the gentle grin on his face.
"I hope it wasn't another bad dream… Was it, Kenshin?" She bit her lip in an adorable manner, and Kenshin chuckled. Even now, when he was quite possibly the happiest man on earth, she worried about him for even the slighest reasons. He couldn't let her go on believing that was why he'd woken up…
"No, no, actually, Kaoru, this was a good dream. A very good dream…" Her expression lit up immediately.
"Oh! Tell me!" she encouraged him, snuggling closer. Kenshin thought about it, but decided that this was a conversation better for a different time…
"…In the morning, Kao-koishii… I'm sorry I woke you…"
Kaoru smiled sweetly at her husband, effectively warming him from the inside out. Then she unexpectedly kissed him on the lips, lovingly and experienced after ten years of marriage. Kenshin returned the fervent touch, starting to smile in the middle of it.
Kaoru felt her lips change and pulled away curiously.
"Kenshin… Why are you smiling like that?" she asked. She knew him well enough to realize that this particular smile had something to do with his dream.
"I'll tell you in the morning, Kaoru…" Kenshin said, laying a hand over hers, in a silent request to kiss him again. But Kaoru sighed.
"All right…" she drawled, rolling over to her other side again. "Leave me in suspense. But, you will tell me the moment you're awake, won't you?"
"Hai. Absolutely…" Kenshin realized that he'd have to get his kiss himself, and smiled slightly wider. Kaoru never ceased challenging him.
"Okay."
Kaoru met his lips once more as he leaned over to kiss her goodnight…
"…See you in the morning… I love you, Kaoru."
"Hai… I love you too…" Kaoru smiled joyfully, letting her eyes fall closed.
Kami, do I love this woman… Kenshin thought.
And with the hope of a few more kisses in the morning, he too drifted off to sleep.