AN: Short one-shot for the Character Diversity Boot Camp Challenge by owluvr. Rated T for death.
Remus couldn't think, couldn't breathe, all he knew was that his world was crashing down around it and he was desperately holding on, trying to hold up the walls as they crushed him. Somewhere inside, the wolf was howling and it drowned out all the noise around him. Time stopped moving and wound itself around his heart, choking it with memories.
And suddenly the air returned to his lungs and the howling stopped. He beat down his grief and grabbed hold of Harry, calling upon the wolf's strength to keep him from running up and challenging Lestrange or whatever other stupid thing he was about to do. Eventually Harry pried free, and some other things happened but Remus wasn't really sure. He couldn't stop thinking about Sirius, no matter how many times he reminded himself that he had to keep the kids safe. Sirius would have wanted his first priority to be Harry, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't stop Time from showing him memory after memory, taunting him with the things he'd never have again.
At some point, after a lot of fighting and silent tears (mostly his) and Voldemort and the Minister, it was safe again. Many people approached him cautiously, asking him if he was okay and did he need anything, but Remus just shook his head and assured them he was fine. All he really wanted was for everyone to leave and allow him a minute of silence to process everything that had just happened.
He managed to get a minute alone with the Death Veil, the closest thing he had to Sirius. Dumbledore had been reluctant to leave him alone in the room, perhaps thinking he would throw himself in after Sirius, but Remus was smarter than that. He knew he couldn't bring him back and he would only die as well, never even having the chance to avenge him and leaving Harry another comrade down. Sirius wouldn't have wanted that.
The Veil fluttered when he approached, though he felt no breeze. He sat down in front of it. "Sirius," he started, but his voice broke. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Sirius, I'm sorry… I can't… I never thought…" Nothing seemed right. What did you say to your best friend, your lover, who had just been murdered?
Time showed him another memory, his favorite one.
Remus's body ached all over from last nights transformation, and his skin burned from the freshly applied scar potions. He watched the clock in misery, waiting for classes to end for the other Marauders, when Sirius would get here.
"Moony!" Came the call, right on time. The dark haired boy practically ran to his bedside. "How are you feeling?"
"Like every bone in my body just broke and refused in a different shape twice." He told him. "Oh, wait…" Sirius laughed, but his eyes were worried.
"I brought you some chocolate." That was an understatement. He lifted and dumped out nearly an entire shoebox full. Remus stared down in amazement.
"Where did you get all this?" he asked, picking out a few Chocolate Frogs.
Sirius shrugged. "Honeydukes, some. I managed to swindle some from Longbottom and Prewett too." Remus grinned up at him in thanks and Sirius gently lifted his knuckles to his lips.
"Nothing but the best for you."
"Where are the others?" Remus looked around, noticing for the first time that the two other Marauders were missing.
"Ah, we, uh, got caught hanging Snivellus from the Owlery rafters."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Again? Really?"
"He was being rude." Sirius defended himself. "Plus, I heard him talking earlier about how weird it was that you were sick all the time." Remus wasn't as bothered by this as he should have been, he knew. Then again, Snape had been saying it for a year or so now and had yet to discover his secret. The novelty had begun to wear off.
They sat and talked for another half hour or so before he began to feel tired, a side effect of the potions. He lay back against the pillows and was silent for a moment.
"Sing to me." He said to Sirius. Sirius blinked.
"Sing? But I've got an awful voice."
"That's not true." Remus argued, but if he was being truthful, Sirius's singing voice sounded like a dying animal being run over by a lawnmower.
"What should I sing?" Remus shrugged sleepily.
"Anything. I just want to hear your voice." There was a pause as he let his eyelids drift close. Then, Sirius began in a hesitant tenor.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
He sang it three times before Remus fell asleep, and soon it had become their song.
He smiled sadly at the memory, and at all the other memories of Sirius singing it to him, his voice never improving with repetition. Remus didn't care, though. He loved it, especially when he sang it to him when he was sad or hurt. Nothing could have made him feel more loved.
His voice still breaking and wavering, he sang quietly, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." His own singing was somewhat better than Sirius, not that that was difficult or anything. "You make me happy when skies are grey." Except for right now. Right now, he was breaking his heart. He wiped away more tears as his voice wobbled more and more. "You'll never know, dear, how much I love you." When was the last time he had told him that he loved him? Had he said it yesterday, before they went to sleep? Had he told him this morning when they woke up? Had he ever mentioned in passing that he had never stopped loving him since the first time he told him as teenagers, not even for the 12 years he believed he had betrayed Lily and James? "Please don't take… my sunshine… away." His words were interrupted by great heaving sobs, and he buried his face in his hands.
A light breeze coaxed his face now, and somewhere he thought he heard a boyish voice whisper, "I love you, too.". Before he had time to look around, to find where it had come from, Dumbledore was behind him and pulling him to his feet, putting an arm around his shoulder and leading him away, whispering that it would be okay and how his grief must be immeasurable. He Apparated him back to 12 Grimmauld Place and tucked him into bed, making sure he drank a Dreamless Sleep potion.
Though it was late, the sun did not set until he had fallen asleep.