~ Author's Note ~
A one-shot that appeared to me in a dream.
Warnings:
Dark! Kana
Profanities
Angst
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His cheerful laugh floated into the air, sounding like the joyful ringing of bells signaling the start of Christmas. Well, at least it sounded like that to her. She stared at him as he laughed at a joke cracked by the fair-skinned, dark-haired new transfer student. Female new transfer student.
Something inside Kana burned. An unfamiliar feeling; one she'd never experienced before. She stared at Rikuo as he laughed, his brown hair glistening in the warm sunlight. She felt a genuine smile appear on her face. He was so lovely, like a ray of sunshine, an Angel of Mercy, a Messiah. She stared dreamily at him, basking in the glow of his happiness.
And then he did something which infuriated her. "You're so cute, Oikawa-san!" he told the jokester, ruffling her silky long hair. The girl blushed, smiling shyly at him and stared down at her feet, muttering a "Thank you." Kana gripped the pen in her hand, anger flaming inside her.
If Zen-sensei wouldn't have arrived in classes at the moment, who knows what she would've done.
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She wanted to run away and hide. She wanted to die. She wanted all the people to stop talking. She wanted to rip off their mouths and scream "GODDAMMIT BITCHES! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" But externally, she just smiled.
Even her friends decided to sprinkle salt on her wounds. Even they decided to betray her and leave her all alone to die in her dingy well, taking away her sunshine. Saori sat on the desk and pointing to Rikuo Nura and Tsurara Oikawa commented "They look so cute together." She turned to look at Kana. "Don't they, Kana-chan?"
No they don't you stupid little bitch. They're the fucking most annoying and mismatched couple I've ever seen in this shitty world. "Yes" she smiled "They certainly do."
"Kyaaaaaaaahhh, I want a boyfriend too!" Natsumi whined, shaking in her chair.
Kana stared at her. They're not dating, you annoying whore. And shut that whiny little mouth of yours. "Don't worry, Natsumi-chan, you'll get one someday." Like hell you will, bitch.
They were together like always. Ever since Tsurara had come, Rikuo would always be with her but Kana knew she couldn't blame him. That annoying clingy slut, she's with Rikuo-kun all the time! She practically feeds of him! Why can't she just leave him alone?!
Rikuo and Tsurara were reading a manga together, sitting in the second bench of the class while Kana and her friends sat in the fifth. Natsumi and Saori drifted off into their own topics, ignoring Kana. But the brunette was busy watching the others. Her heart clenched in pain when Rikuo and Tsurara looked at each other . . . . . AND SMILED.
She wanted to tear her eyes out. She wanted to stab at her eyeballs till they rolled out of her head and dropped on the floor. Then they started giggling together.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!
She was obsessed with Rikuo Nura. And she'd do anything to get him.
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She knew his favorite food. His phone number. His hobbies. His favorite color. The shortcut route he took home. The café he visited everyday. His address was carved into her mind. She even knew the brand of underwear he wore. She knew everything there was to know about him.
And even then, he chose that clingy blue-eyed slut over me.
"Rikuo-kun, why don't you love me?" she muttered, staring at the small Rikuo doll she made. She kissed it passionately and dressed it in a tuxedo she sewed herself, giggling. "You look so handsome, Rikuo-kun. I'll make more clothes for you, okay?"
She spent the whole knight sewing clothes for her little Rikuo doll in her room.
She compared a Hawaiian-patterned shirt and a fancy leather jacket. But then, something inside her snapped.
"THIS ISN'T WORKING!" she screamed, throwing all the clothes on the floor. She sat leaning against the headboard of her bad, knees pressed to her chest and arm around them. It was dark outside and her hands were red and bleeding from all the pricks she'd got. She picked up the Rikuo doll and threw it. It crashed against the door of her room and its thread opened, all the stuffing coming out.
I want you Rikuo. I need you. And I WILL have you.
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Screams erupted through the whole classroom. She knew what it was all about. She knew what had happened. She stared at the new couple as they were surrounded by friends, everyone congratulating them. She just stared and remained in her seat, not bothering to greet them.
Let her 'good girl' image go to hell.
"You caught quite a catch there, Rikuo-kun!" winked Kiyotsugu, elbowing the bespectacled brunette in the ribs.
Rikuo just laughed awkwardly while Tsurara giggled. "He he, thanks Kiyotsugu" he said, nervously rubbing the back of his head.
"So" Saori chirped, excitement evident in her voice "Have you both kissed yet?" At the remark, a dark blush spread over the faces of the new couple.
Kana could never explain how much that sight hurt her. She felt tears drop down her cheeks and disappear on hitting the cold floor below. But no one bothered to comfort her. No one even bothered to look at her. They were busy with the new 'cutest couple' of the school. She furiously wiped her tears away, hiding her face behind her science book.
Do you know how much it hurts me seeing you with her? Do you know how much my heart clenches when I see you holding hands? Do you know how many knives stab my heart when you smile at each other? No, you don't. I doubt you even know who I am Rikuo-kun.
Cause I've always been in the background. No one notices me.
She's one of the most popular girls in school even though she's been here like for what . . . . three months?
I've always watched and waited, watched and waited, watched and waited. Waited to hold you in my arms. Waited for you to smile at me. Waited for you to ruffle my hair. But you never did. Even though I've been watching since the past three years.
I want you to hold me. I want you to touch me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to ruffle my hair. I want you to smile at me. I want you tell me I'm cute. But you've never done any of that. You haven't even glanced at me once.
I want to be with you in her place.
I never wanted to be popular. I never wanted people to like me. All I ever wanted was for you to love me.
She took the popularity. I was okay with it.
She took everyone's love. I was okay with it.
She took you. And that fact burns me.
"Kiss, kiss, KISS!" everyone cheered, encouraging the tomato-red and blushing couple. Tsurara was shaking her head no but then something happened to Rikuo.
And Kana looked at them at the same moment.
He kissed Tsurara. On the cheek. The once-fair girl now was a deep shade of scarlet. She stared down at her shoes and everyone cheered and cooed. The sounds of "Awww!" filled the air.
Kana's pupils shrunk. She gripped her science book so hard her knuckles turned white.
She took you. But I won't let you remain with her.
Cause if I can't have you . . . . . NO ONE can.
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Rikuo sat alone in his room, staring at pictures of him and Tsurara from their date yesterday. His parents were out on a late-night movie and it was dark outside. Large, grey storm clouds had gathered and they looked like they'd burst out any minute. He hadn't bothered to switch on the lights since he wasn't afraid of the dark.
Rikuo hummed a song to himself as he browsed through the photos. Tsurara really looked so cute in her yellow sundress. He couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.
He felt eyes boring into him.
"Mom?" he asked, turning back.
Lightning fell and thunder roared outside. Rikuo adjusted his glasses to see who was standing in the doorway of his room.
And let out a shrill shriek.
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On Monday morning, lots of police vehicles were outside the Nura house. Wakana and Rihan Nura were completely dejected at the sudden disappearance of their son. Inspector Gyuki held a notepad, interrogating the parents.
"You say his room was bloody?" he asked, his face stoic.
Rihan nodded, trying to hold back the tears from falling. "Y-Yes" he replied in a hoarse voice, cheeks stained with tears.
The police clicked several photos of the room. Everything was amiss and bloodstains decorated the walls.
But there were no signs of a corpse.
Only the computer was open, the picture of a young couple smiling on the screen.
Tsurara sat beside a grief-stricken Wakana, her comforting arm around the woman. With a tear-stained face and blurry eye she stared up at the ceiling and whispered "Rikuo-kun, please be okay."
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Police cars passed outside the flat of Kana Ienaga, their sirens crossing into her room. Any other day, she would look out the window to see what was wrong. But today, she was busy.
Busy playing with her new doll.
As she combed her doll's brown hair, she sang "Rikuo Nura, sat on the wall."
"Rikuo Nura had a great fall."
"Even his girlfriend and all of his friends."
"Couldn't snatch Rikuo from Kana again!"
Her giggles filled the air.
