"Thank you Anna" Mary quietly uttered as Anna put the finishing touches on her hair. Anna nodded in the mirror at Mary's image and silently left the room. Mary remained sitting there her downcast eyes staring unseeingly at the top of the vanity table. A few weeks ago at this time Sybil would have waddled into the room glowing with happiness as she gently rubbed her protruding belly …. Mary's eyes filled with tears at the memory but at least this image of her sister was a happy one not like … Mary shuddered as she willed herself to not think of that.
Sighing deeply, her hands firmly grasping the vanity table, Mary stood and trudged to the window expecting to find the weather matching her mood but instead found an azure sky beckoning one to come out and enjoy the day. Maybe some fresh air would brighten her mood.
She steered clear of the nearby back gardens instead heading for the Monks Garden which had become too far for Sybil to walk or as Mary would gently tease her to waddle which would earn her a gentle slap on the arm and a "wait until it's your turn."
The tall yew arches set the Monks Garden apart from any of the other Downton gardens. A long time ago, Mary envisioned bringing a handsome gentleman caller here, maybe stealing a kiss under one of the yew arches where they would be free of prying eyes but that had been an unfilled dream of a naïve young girl.
Mary was surprised to see him sitting on a bench in the garden. She thought he didn't venture far from the nursery even taking most of his meals there. Her surprise grew when she realized he wasn't alone for in his arms he cradled six week old Sybil. Sybil … just silently saying the name filled her eyes with unshed tears. She had been surprised when Matthew had told her that Tom had declared the baby's name would be Sybil.
"I want to get outdoors but Tom wants to finish his writing" Sybil announced one morning as she stood in the open doorway of Mary's bedroom "so would you like to join me for a walk and some sisterly conversation?" And so it became a morning routine for them to take a stroll around the gardens. Sybil had always loved the outdoors much more so than either she or Edith. She loved riding and Edith enjoyed sitting in the garden and reading a book but that was about the extent of their enjoyment of the outdoorseven as children. But as a child Sybil could have spent all day outdoors exploring the grounds, climbing trees or just running around the lawn playing with Papa's dog. Even the gardens appealed to the young Sybil and she had a vast knowledge of plants and flowers cultivated from hours spent watching and talking to the gardeners as they worked.
"I've almost forgotten how beautiful this view is" Sybil said one morning as she and Mary sat on the bench under the huge cedar tree. Now far into her ninth month of pregnancy, Sybil and Mary's walks had been shortened from strolling in the gardens to walking to this bench within sight of the house. At Sybil's words Mary admired the view of the lushly green gently rolling hills dotted with trees and bushes, stone fences separating fields of grazing sheep.
Her first inclination was to make a comment about how different this was from Sybil's Dublin life but Mary knew that such a comment even one made in jest was a minefield. Although the wistful sound of Sybil's voice made Mary wonder if Sybil had ever been homesick while in Ireland she wouldn't bring up this topic.
"Have you decided on a name for the baby?"
"We've decided on Daniel Brian after Tom's father and grandfather" Sybil replied. "But for a girl … well …" Sybil sighed "that hasn't been so easy." She then went on to name some Irish names that Mary couldn't pronounce and had even less idea how to spell. "If it should happen today I think we'd name her Aibrean or Grainne but tomorrow…" she shrugged her shoulders.
"Why not something simple like Elizabeth or Anne" Mary turned to Sybil with a smirk on her face "or Mary?"
Undaunted, Sybil shook her head and laughed. "No it will be an Irish name" she adamantly replied.
Like everything else involving Tom, her father hadn't been happy about Tom's decision to name the infant Sybil. Ghoulish he had described it. But she could understand Tom's decision even though it wasn't one she would have made.
He was so focused on his daughter that he hadn't heard her approach. Mary stood there under one of the tall yew arches watching him as he gently cooed and murmured strange sounds that she finally realized must be Irish.
When Sybil and Tom had come to Downton for her wedding Mary had promised Sybil she would get to know Tom and to value him. That had seemed like it would be an easy thing after Tom had taken it upon himself to reconcile Mary and Matthew the night before their wedding.
"You'll never be happy with anyone else as long as Mary walks this earth." Even now those words could make Mary smile.
Then came that dark stormy night when Tom suddenly appeared at the door, rain soaked and alone. She was angry that he had left a seven month pregnant Sybil behind to fend for herself and became angrier as the story emerged as to what had brought him here that night. She began to think once more that Tom wasn't worthy of her beloved younger sister.
Yet that changed again the night the child he was now holding in his arms was born. Mary saw the genuine fear in Tom's eyes that he might lose Sybil. If she had questioned it before, Mary had to admit that that night ended any concern she had about Tom's feelings for Sybil. It was obvious that Tom was deeply in love with his wife.
"Taking advantage of the sunshine?"
At the sound of her voice he quickly looked up at her, a flash of unease crossing his face, then just as quickly he looked down at the babe in his arms.
Even though he hadn't asked her to or even gestured for her to do so, Mary sat down beside him on the bench. Despite the warmth of the sunshine, Sybil was wrapped in a soft pink blanket. Her bright blue eyes, so much like her mother's, were locked on her father's face, her tiny hand wrapped around one of Tom's outstretched fingers, Tom murmured lovingly to her.
"You seem quite comfortable with her."
Not taking his eyes off his daughter Tom answered "I've been around babies most of my life."
"May I hold her?" Mary surprised Tom with her request. Although in the weeks since her birth Mary had been a frequent visitor to the nursery Tom had never seen her hold the baby.
Tom gently handed the baby to Mary but she must have sensed Mary's unease for she immediately began wailing.
"For someone so tiny, she has quite the lungs" Tom chuckled. Then reaching for his daughter's hand he cooed "it's alright little one. This is your Aunt Mary."
Was it the gentle sound of his voice or the touch of his hand Mary wondered that seem to soothe the infant for within a minute or two she yawned and then closed her eyes.
Mary gazed lovingly at her sleeping niece. "I'm sorry I didn't speak out sooner."
His brows knitted in confusion as he looked at his sister-in-law. Realizing he didn't know what she was talking about she continued "About getting Sybil to the hospital that night."
He silently nodded his head but his body tensed as he looked away from her as he felt tears pool in his eyes. Although it had been over a month that night played out in his head over and over again. His anger at his father-in-law had barely subsided for whenever he looked at him he was reminded that the man's foolishness had cost Sybil her life.
"Someone should have let you know right away. It was your decision to make not Papa's."
He turned to look at her. "Aye it was."
If she had thought he had forgiven them, she saw in his eyes that wasn't true.