Chapter 1

Lieutenant Commander Kate McGregor stood on the bridge of HMAS Hammersley and for the first time since boarding as an XO all those years ago she felt content. It had been a constant struggle over the past 3 years as commander for her; a failed love life, a loss of a child and a new crew to deal with for HMAS Hammersley's first patrol since that fatal day where Jim Roth & Swain lost their lives.

Kate was suddenly broken from her daydream by her XO, Lieutenant Tomaszewski. "CO, can I have a word please?" Kate smiled as she replied "Sure Nav...Midshipman White you have the ship" "Ma'am I have the ship" echoed Ryan.

As Nav led the way to the ships office she couldn't help but reminisce about how many times her and Kate had helped each other with the different issues in their lives during their time on Hammersley. Et's death, Nav's grieving and eventual acceptance of a shore posting, Kate & Mike's breakup, the loss of Jim Roth's Baby, Nav & Buffer's engagement and marriage and finally the news Nav was about to break.

"Kate..." Nikki paused as Kate shut the door. "How far along are you? Does Pete know?" Kate fired in excitement. A smile burst onto Nikki's face "I'm 10 weeks and no he doesn't know yet, I don't want him worrying on this patrol".

Kate sighed "Ahh Nik, we are back in port in 4 days time, I will have to let Navcom know so they can arrange a new XO for me". "Kate that's the thing I don't want to leave!" Exclaimed Nikki. When Pete was on Patrol on HMAS Childers Kate was the only friend she had left.

"Kate I don't want to leave you in the lurch without an XO. It wouldn't be fair on you if Mike had to come back as your XO after everything you have both been through" Kate hesitated; she didn't want to relive all those memories again. "Nik, I will be fine honestly. I have a good crew and maybe it's my time to take a shore posting, get married, buy a house with a white picket fence and work on my career at Navcom" she croaked.

Her body clock was ticking and after losing her possible only chance at being a mother nearly 5 years ago she had come to the realisation that she would never have that chance again. A weak smile passed Kate's face as Nikki embraced her in a hug.

A rainy week had passed since Navcom were informed of Lieutenant Tomaszewski's upcoming maternity leave and a replacement XO was being sourced. However, today was the day Kate was to meet her new XO at Navcom and to her surprise the sun was shining. As she passed thru the glass doors and took her cap off she felt the same bundle of nerves arise in the pit of her stomach that appeared the same day she handed in her transfer request to Commander Marshall 3 years ago.

"Welcome Kate, you're here early" greeted Marshall. Kate walked into his office and was stopped dead in her tracks by the familiar sight of board shoulders and blonde hair. "Oh my god" Kate whispered to herself as she felt her face blush.

"Kate I want you to meet you new XO, Lieutenant Mullholland who will be joining you on your next patrol to replace Lieutenant Tomaszewski. Dylan here has just finished his last rotation in Iraq and has competed his officer training during this time"

"Wow Dutchy, how longs it been? 5 years? We have a lot of catching up to do" gasped Kate. Dylan just smiled at her and kept quiet, letting Commander Marshall finish his introduction and update on the next patrol.

As Kate walked out of Navcom, the humidity hit her like a freight train and she found it hard to breath. She clutched onto the handrail and let the tears fall. Reality hit her that the sun was shining for one reason only; the fact a very handsome looking blonde, broad shouldered sailor had just walked back into her life. Maybe this time she could get it right?

"Dylan, speaking frankly, Kate needs a friend on HMAS Hammersley and this is why the Brass has selected you to be her XO" informed Marshall. 'A Friend?' Dutchy questioned "Sir with all due respect! We have nearly been out of contact for 5 years! You could hardly call us friends"

"Look Dylan, I suggest you catch up with Kate before your first patrol. She has a lot to fill you in on. It's in your best interests" Marshall concluded as he walked Dutchy to the door in his office.

And so as Dutchy walked out of Navcom he found Kate clutching to the hand handrail, crying, gasping for air. Within 5 big strides he smothered her in a hug and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. He didn't care that they were in plain view of everyone at Navcom; he was comforting her as her friend. Was she married? Did she have kids? Who were her crew on Hammersley?

So much had happened since their last meeting, at Swain & Jim Roth's funeral. Kate was pregnant with what Dutchy assumed was Jim's child, yet she was romantically involved with Mike and then the major questing rolling around was why does she needs friends on Hammersely? She was always way too independent for her own good!

At the time of the funeral, he himself, was nursing a healing wound in his shoulder and preparing himself for Madeleine Cruise's upcoming court case. He felt like he had no option but to flee Cairns so he took the first Bosun's posting available, that being on HMAS Newcastle.

"Dutchy" Kate whispered "We need to get away from here...away from the prying eyes...we shouldn't been seen together like this". Dutchy knew what she meant but he didn't want to leave her just yet.

"Meet me at the On Ice bar near the marina, from there we can head back to my place" Kate suggested as she slipped from his embrace. "Err X? Sorry...Kate, are you sure? Croaked Dutchy shocked she was so inviting. "Trust me" she grunted, annoyed that he was still questioning her every move.

Three drinks in at Kate's place and the tears were flowing. Dutchy sat there paralysed, contemplating his next move. Should he embrace her and let her cry her heart out on his shoulder or should he just offer her a box of tissues? Between sniffles Kate continued her story

"... I did the maths, it was Jim's baby...Mike assumed it was his yet he never showed any remorse when I lost it...and then he stayed on as CO as Hammerley, I as his XO...two years later I couldn't handle it any longer. I wanted a family, children, and a white picket fence. He was wedded to Patrol Boats...I took my transfer request direct to Marshall; I didn't want to explain anything in detail... Then he was forced to take a promotion at Navcom, I got command of Hammersley and we moved on with our lives..."

"I should have stayed in contact with you I'm so sorry Kate" Dylan soothed. As Kate reached for Dylan's hand she asked "So your life couldn't have been as dramatic as mine?"

"Well, No." He paused, unsure whether to go on, "I only did my officers training so I could come back to Cairns". There Dylan thought, its out, I've got no secrets. Kate pushed "Why?"

For the second time this evening Dutchy was again unsure if he could give Kate the answers she was after.