Dreams and everythings
"It was just a dream."
In the earliest phase of her childhood it was still her mother saying that, trying to calm her down when she had one of the bad dreams she sometimes got. She remembers a woman's soft voice calling out to her and the warmth of a family not yet broken by cheating fathers and travelling mothers, remembers that back then it was something she cherished and held dear.
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"It was just a dream."
She is older now and most of the time no one says those words to her anymore, her parents are too busy fighting and shouting at each other to notice that she's awake. It doesn't upset her as much as she would like it to though, because reality is a lot harsher than nightmares right now anyway.
When she does hear those words, it's her father saying them, smelling like the perfume of a different woman every time and she can't bring herself to look him in the eye. Now those words are the sounds of family shattering and she despises them.
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"It was just a dream."
It's Soul saying those words now, her useless father probably flirting around again and her beloved mother nowhere near, and it's weird and awkward, because they haven't even been partners that long yet and he kind of sucks at comforting.
The gesture is nice though and she finds herself more than often smiling at his unsure movements that are so unlike the cool guy he wants to be. And he smiles back, because nightmares are uncool and he's glad his meister is okay again.
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"It was just a dream."
After Blair, her nightmares take on a different note. The thought that Soul could turn out to be the same as her father and might leave her someday for a nice rack is terrifying, but what scares her more is how much him going away would hurt her. Has she really let him in that much?
Soul, however, is there and after he silently reminds her time and time again that he's there and won't leave her and oh what the hell, bookworm, didn't I tell you cool guys don't cheat on their partners, those nightmares slowly subside.
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"It was just a dream."
His scar haunts her in her dreams, taunting her, telling her without words that she failed, that he could have died back then and even though she knows she's just dreaming right now, she also knows that it has happened, that she has failed. The nightly terrors grow worse each day, feeding off her sorrow and guilt until the day she finally faces the scar and accepts what happened.
It's not only her nightmares anymore now but his as well and after she finds out, she makes sure to be there for him even if he is not ready to tell her about them yet.
He comes to associate those words with that calming voice and those green eyes that are so unmistakably her that it hurts and for some reason that he doesn't get he craves it, maybe it's even the Black Blood talking. But her wavelength is nice and soothing and he decides he doesn't care what the reason, he just wants her near.
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"It was just a dream."
It's the book of Eibon that picks up all her previous nightmares and throws them at her in the form of the chapter of Envy and the preppy little girl saying she isn't fit to be Soul's meister. She's shaken by it and so afraid that she tells Soul to go on without her when facing Giriko, not noticing how he is trembling at the thought of that and the fact that she tried to break their partnership just then.
They make it out alive after that, but he doesn't sleep well the time after that. As if the chapter of Envy and the memory of his brother hadn't been enough for him already, the scene of the happenings in the chapter of Sloth is even worse and keeps replaying in his head over and over again and he realizes that, although she always was important to him, she just might be his everything.
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"It was just a dream."
In the battle with Asura she fears that her nightmares might finally become reality, that she'll lose someone dear to her. And as the moon is engulfed by Chrona's blood, her father and the others still standing there, they almost do come true. She sees black darkness moving to cover her smiling father's face and even though he's a lying, cheating bastard that broke their family, it tears her heart apart that she will lose him like this.
And then, when she returns to see her papa standing in front of Shibusen, bruised but very much alive, she almost bursts with relief, although she still can't show it and hugs Marie instead of running to her father, leaving him completely devastated.
When she thinks about it afterwards, remembers that it could have been anyone, that it could have been her, that it could have been Soul, she almost loses it. She goes into his room that night, and it occurs to her, as she watches him sleep, that she never wants to see him die, never wants to live in a world where he isn't there, that he is her everything.
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"It was just a dream."
It's not nightmares she wakes from anymore, instead dreams of happy times with Chrona and when she wakes up, reality comes rushing back to her and she knows, as she looks up to the blackened moon, that it was just a dream, that Chrona is still stuck there and she blames herself for it even when she knows that she could have done nothing to prevent it.
Soul seems to know when this happens to her, a silent shadow on her doorstep and encloses her in his arms, his deep, raspy voice telling her that it's alright, it wasn't her fault and she believes him, like she always does.
She can't help but feel safe when she falls asleep again, this time into a more peaceful slumber, tucked into Soul's arms and her blanket as he gently strokes her hair, listening to her soft, even breaths before he falls asleep himself, Maka snuggled up against him and demon cowering from her wavelength.
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"It was just a dream."
God, she really hopes she won't wake to hear those words now, because this moment just now, flawed and nervous, has probably been the happiest of her life and his eyes, hopeful and sincere, are the most beautiful sight she has ever seen. When a tint of fear flashes through them, she notices that Soul has just proposed to her and she still hasn't answered him.
And so she attempts to speak, to accept, to erase those unreasonable insecurities in his eyes, because how dare he doubt her answer when she told him she loved him so many times? But all that comes out of her mouth is a strangled sob and dear Death, she's crying, isn't she?
Before Soul can ask her what's wrong, because he certainly didn't expect his proposal to end with his girlfriend/everything/hopefully soon fiancé in tears after a mental breakdown, she leaps into his arms, embracing him with her own, whispering a barely audible "Yes" between her tears and his eyes grow wide when he understands that, oh, those are tears of joy and suddenly, he can't keep his mouth from forming into a stupid grin.
He's glad he won't have nightmares about hearing a "No" as the answer anymore.
