1Authors Note: My first fanfiction - or not depending if you know me or not. I actually do have an account on Fanfiction .net, but due to some ... people I have decided to hide here. This is actual fanfiction done by ... me. Enjoy the KaibaMai! And don't be afraid to review!

Disclaimer: Parliamentary Rhetoric does not own Yuugiou, but she does own one laptop, two domains and ... an eljay.

Charity

by

Parliamentary Rhetoric

Charity? Yeah ,it's like asking for a turn on the tilt a whirl.

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I cannot deny the fact that I love men. It is in fact, the very essence of my being to learn the very secrets of their sensuality. But, I must confess - not a philosophical level, but on a rather blunt and idiotic level that in fact, men are idiots. It is their idiocy that makes them like a little game to try and twist them around your little finger. The fact remains that their central nervous is not in fact, in their skull, but in their pants - or lack of pants rather.

However, on the other hand I must confess that I am a cynic about matters such as this. I see the affects (and effects) of an abstract feeling called love. I cannot help but take a scientific approach to it. The nervous system releases a chemical endorphin that giving the body a feeling of elation, then adrenaline gives us the drive for sex. Women are creatures whose scent can make a man do anything. It triggers something within the brain that causes us, women, to control them - men. It is this feeling of self control that women must harness. I must boast that I have mastered the skill of scent very well.

So therefore, one can only conclude that in the equation of life, men are not the variable to continuation of the circle of life, but rather they are the constant. The variable is morality. Ah, morality; the main reason why women martyr themselves upon the statues of what should and should not be. To have a child out of wedlock is a sin and that child is forever condemned. However, if a child is born to a woman who would love him or her more than an abusive family, then what is it to say that this child should be better than the other because of the fact that two people are joined by the legal system.

"Mai?" A voice breaks my train of thought, "Mai?"

I turn and it is Shizuka over her Maitai (she teases me about the name seeing as I consume so many, many puns as if they are a coupons at a Gucci sample sale) looking at me as if I must of said something brash.

"Mai? Are we contemplating the relevance of men in modern society?" She asks me, her fiery red hair (which I have to tell her to go brunette- Lindsay Lohan had did it - scratch that) twiddling her red bangs in between her slender fingers.

I smirk and lean back, "Men are a commodity, an accessory really to the great fashion statement that is life. I'll prove my point."

I'm wearing a red cocktail dress (Donna Karen) and matching stilettos (Jimmy Choo). Red for confidence, and lust and shoes because that's just needed. No fool would –

The waiter interrupts my train of thoughts with a very weak martini. It's not even a good one. It's ... frankly it's an Anzu-esque martini. One time we went out to drink and she's like - "Lets not get too hammered."

Long story short - that's why my story carries on without Jou. I bat my eyelashes to the Anzu Martini giver. God, he even reflects the weakness of the Martini. But - I see some fun in it. As always.

"Look, in the corner, man with a black suit eying me up." I take one quick look-over, "He's a banker. He thinks that since he's fairly young - obviously thinks that he's attractive enough to wink at me like that."

"Ah," Shizuka replied with an air of mocking wisdom, "And here I thought that you liked being winked at and having free liquor."

I laugh as Shizuka sips her drink. Usually she's very quiet when Vivian is around, and I can understand that. I feel that Shizuka and I can have a conversation without a sarcastic comment or a comment about Yuugi Motou. Plus, Vivian is in the United States with Duke Devlin. It kind of annoys me that she would date Devlin after Shizuka left him. I remember that Shizuka had turned up at my door, crying her poor little eyes out. Since then, I've taken her under my wing. Right now, she's actually quite accomplished. One of lead engineers for the new virtual reality games; I believe that means that she works directly under Kaiba. I tease her about it a lot, but she always yells at me. The only downside of talking to Shizuka is that she's Jonouchi's sister. I snarl into my drink and take a deep gulp. I give a little wink to the banker who captures my kiss within his palm and kisses it. Disgusting -yet at the same time amusing. Curious how the two often go hand in hand.

"Watch this..."

Shizuka raises an eyebrow as I throw my legs on the other side of the stylish chair that I was sitting on.

"And if ...?"

She refers to one moment where she needs to bail me out. She's a natural at it, really because she can lie through a teeth - despite what people may say, it's an art she did not learn from me.

"Think of something."

The walk is key to gaining the correct cycle between the sway and rotation of a woman's hips. He licks his lips, he thinks he's going to score. Chances are in my favor, and I'll use that to my advantage. There is a slick chuckle that sends a chilling shiver down my spine and pooling in my stomach; throwing up my food has been more pleasant. I approach the table, my manicured hand is placed approximately half way on the curve of my hip. Just enough to show that I'm a tease, but not a hussy.

"Hello there honey." I smile, "I just wanted to thank you for the drinks."

He smiles at me and leans forward, trying to cup my chin, "You're welcome sweet heart."

I swallow the urge to punch the idiot in the face, but before I realize it his hand is on my ass. Urgh, men. I should have thought that he would do something like that, I move his hand off of my butt and I sit down next to him.

"Don't think I'm like that honey, I just came for a thank you."

He sneers, a lewd smile crosses his lips, "How about I let you tell me how welcome I am."

That did not make sense. Was that supposed to be innuendo? Seriously, I am a great fan of the art of the double entendre, but I was actually expecting something better, like "Hey, let me see how grateful you are". Urgh, idiocy- as I have stated is a built in flaw. There's no warranty that it won't reoccur and if there was it's about as useless as telling fool to act like a scholar. Because they are, but they make good money in being stupid.

"No thanks, hon." I comment as a I cross my legs together. No way in hell am I locking my ankles, one jostle and my bright red thong will astound everyone. I think Shizuka knows when I'm in trouble because she's next to me in a second, "Mai, your parole officer is here!"

The whisper is low, yet audible enough for the banker to hear. "Mai," Her voice is soft, "He's here."

I turn around and I find a dark haired man in the corner and scowl. I know who it is, it's Otogi. He's probably scowling at Shizuka for hanging around me.

"Aw, dammit. You kill a man, you kill your social life. Sorry, hon."

Once we leave the bar, I smile at Shizuka as we get into my sports car, "Parole officer?"

Shizuka smirks, "I couldn't think of anything else."

I get the car into gear and we go driving through to Tokyo. Shizuka smiles, "Okay, so Kaiba was telling - and when I say telling, I mean bitching - me that there's a charity event and it's mandatory for me to go."

I look at her with a strange look, "Go on?"

Charity for a man is impossible to do so. What if charity was buying men. For one, to find one, a person must decide what qualities they want. For me it is impossible. Of course, material objects are a plus to the package, but beauty is a fine quality as well. I mean, I wouldn't mind waking up to a hot man next to me with a toned body and a beast in bed. However, I don't want one that will talk to my breasts. Rather, and talking at all.

"Well, I don't want to." She says quietly, "... I mean..."

For some odd reason, Shizuka is coming home from work and calling me. When I ask her why she is so flushed, she goes brighter red and changes the subject.

"Well do you want me to come."

"Yes please."

I guess I'll go.