Kill Kass and The Xeno's Mummy
Summary: Kass is in a middle of a war that has been going on even before he was pixelized. Can he fight off evil towel stands, aliens and cow poo? And seriously, Who ever wins, we lose. A Neopet and AvP crossover. Rated R for language.
A/N: Ummm... I'm writing this because I'm bored... and just because I like people making nasty comments on how bad my story writing is. Not really, but yeah. This is an AvP and Kass crossover D 'cause I can. I hope you enjoy it and... yeah, die reading it. . ;; I'll rate it after I write this damn thing.
Heh, I like picking on Kass and his guards.
Don't like funneh crap? . ;; Don't read it.
Disclaimer: Sure, I own all the Alien movies on DVD, and AvP, too, but I know jack shit about Predators, so shut up about my non-yautja language and knowledge and crap. I own NONE of the Predator films and I've only seen the first one. I'd see the second one only if that fecking cow that has hogged Pred 2 for about a month would finally return it. In one piece. So, bite me if it sucks.
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"What the hell are you DOING!?" Kass spat as a xenomorph head butted the door into his room. "Nobody, NOBODY HEAD BUTTS MY DOOR WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" Kass watched as the xeno scanned around looking at all the belongings. It swung around to Kass's Double Agent and the alien's tail went cleanly through her stomach. "What the fuck? No what am I supposed to do? You son of a bitch!" Kass whimpered as her witnessed the double agent's death. "HSSSSSSSS!" replied the xenomorph, obviously pissed off by Kass calling his queen a bitch.
At that moment one of Kass's guards busted through the now imaginary door. "My Lord, there's these... ermm... alien creatures all over the citadel! They're ruining everything!
DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUN! –silence for 5 minutes-
Kass blinked and glared at the guard. "YOU FUCKING MORON! I CAN SEE THAT!"
"Wow my Lord, that was the fasted reply I have ever gotten." Sarcastically said the guard. "Oh! Look there! One of them just tore up your evil schemes for Meridell!"
Kass mumbled under his breath. "Bastard"
(About 3 hours later – Location: Grandma's underpants)
"Woah... it stinks in here. Has she ever considered washing them?" The guard said.
"It's not my fault that my Gran has problems with going to the toilet!" Kass spat.
"MOOOOO!" said a cow, also in the underpants.
"Ummm... why the fuck is a cow in your grandma's underpants?" said the guard. "By the way, do you wanna swap sides? This one doesn't smell so bad."
"Sure! Let's swap sides!" cheerfully said Kass. When he shuffled to his side, the cow shat on his head.
"I FUCKING HATE YOU! MORON!" said Kass, spazzing out. "AAARRRGHH!" He ran outside the underpants and wiped it off with dread locks.
"Why the fuck is there a... umm... towel stand here?" Kass said to himself. The towel stand turned around to Kass and grabbed is neck, raising him into the air. "Pauker!" it shouted.
"Since when did gaaah... towel stands talk funny languages and kill people? THEY'RE FUCKING FURNITURE FOR CHRIST SAKE!"
"MOOOO!" the cow did a crap again.
The guard sighed, getting out of the underpants. Why the heck were they in underpants anyway? Her decided to ask. "So ummm... why were we... hiding in your gran's undies?"
The only reply he got from Kass was "Arrgh... help... me...!"
The guard shrugged and decided to help. He tried to pull the towel stand's hands away from Kass's neck, but he had too much of a grip. He decided to tickle it under the arms. "Tickle Tickle Tickle!"
It finally let go, and slapped the guard around the head.
"Poof!" The guard laughed at the stand.
"Okay, now I'll tell you why we were hiding in my undies..." Kass started.
"You mean your grans" the guard corrected him.
"Erm... y-yeah, that's what I mean." Kass stumbled his words with a guilty look on his face.
A/N: Now, if you want to find out the reason why they were hiding in Gran's underpants, and why the hell the towel stand (if there is such a thing) is alive. And if you wanna see Xenomorphs and Yautja again.