Author's Note: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter characters.
Butterfingers
Damn, damn, DAMN. Damn you pitiful bastards! Damn y'all! Aaaaaaargh!
It's okay. Calm. Controlled. Rational. Damn it, damn it! NO! RATIONAL! NOOOO!
I AM controlled. I AM calm. I AM rational. I am! I am! I—oh, gods' sake, I'm not. I'M A DAMNED LUNATIC! A DAMNED LUNATIC HEADING FOR DOOOOOOOM!
What have I done? you're probably wondering. Well I'll tell you. I, little Ginny Weasley, have only just gone and ASKED FLIPPING HARRY FLIPPING POTTER FLIPPING OUT! FUUUUUCK!
But, it's okay. I'm sure it is. I'm sure he didn't get a chance to hear me before I ran away. He's suffering from temporary deafness. Definitely. Certainly. Probably. Possibly. Not at all. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
It probably wouldn't be that bad, if it was just me and him. If nobody else was there. But, NO. I just HAD to do it in front all the flippin' Gryffindors!
Shit. Eternal damnation. Fuck. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN. What can I do?
I could run.
I could hide.
"You can run, but you can't hide." D'you think he'd find me? I bet he would. He'd find me and expose me to everybody! NOO! I cannot hide. But maybe I could run…
To home?
Too far.
To Hogsmeade?
Too far.
To the Forest?
Too far.
To the broom cupboard on the second floor?
Too far.
DAMN YOU LAZINESS!
I know. I could go to the Room of Requirement.
I HAVE A PLAN!
At last.
So, I go to the Room of Requirement. Then what? I stay there? Forever? But I'll die. I'll die alone…. Nooooo I cannot die alone….
I DON'T WANNA DIE!
This is SO not fair.
WAIT. A. MINUTE.
I am seriously considering a PERFECTLY PERFECT plan! Ooh. A-litter-whatsit. Alliteration. I am a poet and don't I know it. No, damnit, that's rhyming. Rhyming you fool! I would make a good poet, though. It's one of my talents. DAMNIT, GINNY, STAY FOCUSED! Back to the plan.
I shave off my eyebrows and cut all my hair off, then get a bright yellow wig and pretend to be Britney Spears.
Oops, I did it again…
LOL.
Oh. My. Lordy. Did I just think "LOL"? I think I may be going crazy.
Oh, damnit, I AM crazy.
FUUUCK! Harry's over there! I won't have time for my plan! If I carry it out now I'll hurry and cut myself! And my blood is red so that will give away my identity!
He's coming towards me! Shit!
He's coming closer!
And closer!
And closer!
Wait, is he talking to me?
Oh. He's saying, "Ginny, I'm not going to bite your head off."
What a strange thing to say.
OHMYGOD! WHAT IF HE'S COMING TO BITE MY HEAD OFF?
WHAT IF HE'S GOING TO LOCK ME UP?
AND BIND ME TO A CHAIR?
AND HOLD ME HOSTAGE?
DAMNIT, HE'S TALKING TO ME AGAIN!
…
…
…
Oh.
My.
Lordy.
HE JUST SAID YES!
HARRY SAID YES!
HARRY POTTER SAID YES!
HE SAID YES TO GOING OUT WITH ME!
WE'RE GOING OUT!
I AM GOING OUT WITH HIM!
I AM GOING OUT WITH HARRY!
I AM GOING OUT WITH HARRY POTTER!
Na-na-na-naa-na!
Bet you've never been out with Harry Potter.
LOSERS!
Wow, this is really good. This is bloody fantastic!
I'm not going to be damned!
Goodbye to eternal damnation!
HAHA!
Ooh. Damnit, he's talking to me again.
He's saying that I'm looking a little vacant.
Oh wtf, he's my boyfriend now!
THE END!!
The END!